Femme Invisibility?

girl_dee · 03-21-2012, 12:18 PM

Carry one of these in your purse...

1QuirkyKiwi · 03-21-2012, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Carry one of these in your purse...

I'd need to take the kitchen sink out, first! LOL!

Christy51274 · 03-21-2012, 12:55 PM

I'm a bit shy, so approaching a butch is out of the question for me (unless I've had a few shots of vodka, that is). I have to admit, I'm excellent when it comes to looking "hetero". I've lived this way most of my life, until I finally realized that I wasn't.

I'm considering getting a little tattoo, but have no idea where. I'm thinking maybe my wrist. Could be covered up by my watch when need be.

Any suggestions on tattoos?

Thanks ladies for your responses.

Quintease · 03-21-2012, 01:05 PM

I coped really well, but then I never expected to be acknowledged in the street.

I :

Live in gay areas

Used to have stickers on my car

Didn't wear earrings or too much colour

Didn't wear much jewellery at all

Didn't hang out with gay men or straight women in gay places

Didn't put pretty things in my hair

Didn't giggle unless I was drunk

Didn't humor straight men at. all.

Would complain to my friends about invisibility so they'd feel obliged to step in if someone misidentified me

Would dress down (slightly) or drag (queen) up when going to a gay venue or anywhere with majority gay.

It sounds sucky but it wasn't for me. It took away from a heteronormative appearance, so lesbians would pick up that I wasn't straight and men would think twice before hitting on me.

Now that I'm married and not worried about pulling women, I've noticed a difference. My style has become more tomboyish, yet lesbians are starting to ID me as straight. I'm convinced this is because I'm starting to break all of my own rules.

Christy51274 · 03-21-2012, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Carry one of these in your purse...

Cajun Dee...you made my day with that pic. LMAOOOOOO! My purse is probably large enough to carry those around too!

princessbelle · 03-21-2012, 12:58 PM

I do remember, in my single days, how this would frustrate me to no end!!!!!

Trying to catch their eyes so you could smile, the whole "I AM FEMME WHY CAN'T YOU SEE ME" feeling. It really is hard to get butches/trans/FtMs attention out there in the real world.

I went through a drive through yesterday and there was the cutest little baby butch at the window. OMG she was probably 17 or so. I SOOOOOOOOO bad wanted to say to her...

"I'm family. Are you ok? Is your family accepting? Do you need a Momma to talk to or just a friend?"

Someone should come up with something we can say and not just the rainbow thingy cause heck my granny used to have a rainbow wind catcher. That's not enough. We need a code word or something so that butches or any part of our family hears it and thinks...oh cool "she's" one of us.

Or maybe a secret handshake.

Something!!!

Christy51274 · 03-21-2012, 01:27 PM

Princessbelle: I soooo agree with you. Thanks for posting!

03-21-2012, 12:55 PM	#3
Christy51274 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: 100% High Femme, Submissive Preferred Pronoun?: Call me whatever you please. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Maryland (Somewhere near Baltimore) Posts: 77 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 246 Thanked 246 Times in 57 Posts Rep Power: 3494134	I'm a bit shy, so approaching a butch is out of the question for me (unless I've had a few shots of vodka, that is). I have to admit, I'm excellent when it comes to looking "hetero". I've lived this way most of my life, until I finally realized that I wasn't. I'm considering getting a little tattoo, but have no idea where. I'm thinking maybe my wrist. Could be covered up by my watch when need be. Any suggestions on tattoos? Thanks ladies for your responses. __________________ *“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” ~ Winston Churchill ~*

03-21-2012, 01:05 PM	#4
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	I coped really well, but then I never expected to be acknowledged in the street. I : Live in gay areas Used to have stickers on my car Didn't wear earrings or too much colour Didn't wear much jewellery at all Didn't hang out with gay men or straight women in gay places Didn't put pretty things in my hair Didn't giggle unless I was drunk Didn't humor straight men at. all. Would complain to my friends about invisibility so they'd feel obliged to step in if someone misidentified me Would dress down (slightly) or drag (queen) up when going to a gay venue or anywhere with majority gay. It sounds sucky but it wasn't for me. It took away from a heteronormative appearance, so lesbians would pick up that I wasn't straight and men would think twice before hitting on me. Now that I'm married and not worried about pulling women, I've noticed a difference. My style has become more tomboyish, yet lesbians are starting to ID me as straight. I'm convinced this is because I'm starting to break all of my own rules. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

03-21-2012, 12:58 PM	#6
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I do remember, in my single days, how this would frustrate me to no end!!!!! Trying to catch their eyes so you could smile, the whole "I AM FEMME WHY CAN'T YOU SEE ME" feeling. It really is hard to get butches/trans/FtMs attention out there in the real world. I went through a drive through yesterday and there was the cutest little baby butch at the window. OMG she was probably 17 or so. I SOOOOOOOOO bad wanted to say to her... "I'm family. Are you ok? Is your family accepting? Do you need a Momma to talk to or just a friend?" Someone should come up with something we can say and not just the rainbow thingy cause heck my granny used to have a rainbow wind catcher. That's not enough. We need a code word or something so that butches or any part of our family hears it and thinks...oh cool "she's" one of us. Or maybe a secret handshake. Something!!! __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

03-21-2012, 01:27 PM	#7
Christy51274 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: 100% High Femme, Submissive Preferred Pronoun?: Call me whatever you please. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Maryland (Somewhere near Baltimore) Posts: 77 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 246 Thanked 246 Times in 57 Posts Rep Power: 3494134	Princessbelle: I soooo agree with you. Thanks for posting! __________________ *“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” ~ Winston Churchill ~*

03-21-2012, 12:18 PM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Carry one of these in your purse...