Abuse in butch-femme relationships

JAGG · 03-31-2012, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancer611

So you do not allow for self defense? I was supposed to allow her to drunkenly attack me??!

I didn't mean that to sound rude, at all. It's just that people keep saying I should have done something different, and I'm not sure what that was. I was screaming and crying, but no one came; I had no phone to call anyone; and I could not just "walk away" because she was trapping and following me, and/or pinning me down or putting her hand over my mouth. So what on earth else was I supposed to do, if I'm not allowed to ever lay a hand on anyone?

Always defend yourself. Turn into a wild tazmanian devil and unleash the fury of a 1000 wars on them. If you had done that from day 1 the coward would have never bothered you again. And she certainly wouldn't be trying to get back with you, I promise you that!!!
You said you slapped her when she wasn't drunk (and you felt guilty), then you say you were protecting yourself during a drunken attack. Which one was it? Whatever, it's your story you tell it. You started this thread to ask for advice or opinions. So don't be getting defensive and grouchy with people who give you the advice you are solicting. First of all it's free advice secondly most of us do care. Your anger is not with us, direct it towards your wonderful coward or yourself for allowing it . You have alot of misplaced emotions. You want to paint yourself up as a victim. But I have a news flash for you, you were only a victim the first time it happened. Anytime after that you are a volunteer. You had all my sympathy the first time it happened after that I just get annoyed.
We aren't trained therapists just people who care or have been there or know someone who has etc... we know what works for us.
I don't think anyone has the right to lay a finger on anyone else for any reason unless it's in self-defense. I highly doubt anyone here would advocate balling up in the fetal position and let yourself get plummeted instead of fighting back if you can. And even if they do, you asked for advice and you'll get it , lots of it, from all different points of view. Sometimes the ones that irk you the most, are the ones you should sit with for awhile and mull over. They probably have alot of truth to them, because the truth hurts if we have buried our heads in the sand too long.