What attracts you to Ftms ......

G Snap! · 06-13-2012, 11:55 AM

(whew, it took me a little to read through this thread. And I didn't read the "expectations" thread either...)

I can't relate what attracts me to ftm's because I have been with just biomales until I started seeing @ and I never considered ftm until I met him. I never knew any until I met @ and I honestly don't know if I will date others as I am in this relationship for the long run.

You see, I love everything about him. The way he looks, smells, feels, tastes, and (did I get all the senses?) sounds (and his voice is a whole 'nuther story.)
I absolutely love love love living with him, he is everything I love about men without the "unpleasantries" (I am not listing those.) And he is as good of a cook as he is good looking. I am spoiled!

I don't think of him being any more sensitive, as I know a few butches who are outright d*cks (pardon my term) and are less sensitive than some bio males I know. Sensitivity comes with being a good communicator and listener and this is a learned skill, through upbringing or classes.
I (like to think) as a ftm progresses in their transformation and become settled in the body they once hated, they learn to love themselves and are a happier person and are more receptive to listen to others. They are (perhaps) better men because they try to be good men and are secure in/with their manhood. The only insult I ever find (to him) is anyone assuming I am a lesbian because I am with him, as it means they do not see him as a man.

I don't have any expectations of him because he was once female. I find having expectations just sets ones self up for disappointment. But he is forgiving during those times of the month when I feel like poo. Bio guys have no idea what it is like.

Nadeest · 06-13-2012, 03:13 PM

One of the chatrooms/forums that I hung out in, when I first started transitioning was primarily for transgendered people, especially for those that were considering transition. There I met an ftm that I later ended up dating. He was the first person that I had dated, since I had started transition.
He was so sweet and caring towards me, that I've had a soft spot for transmen since then. For one thing, I tend to feel a lot safer with them, then I do with cis-males. Also, they have some understanding of the stuff that I've tended to go through, during transition.
I would also date a transwoman for that same reason, if any asked me out.

Kent · 08-04-2012, 02:52 PM

Just a little bump...

Ginger · 08-04-2012, 04:36 PM

It's funny that I finally noticed this thread, while I'm watching Love Actually on cable.

It came out in 2003 and I was in love with a transguy then.

I spent the weekend with him before Christmas, and we went to this movie together.

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

It's already happening, in some places. I've found some of those places. I want to find more of them.

Tony · 08-04-2012, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout

It's funny that I finally noticed this thread, while I'm watching Love Actually on cable.

It came out in 2003 and I was in love with a transguy then.

I spent the weekend with him before Christmas, and we went to this movie together.

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

It's already happening, in some places. I've found some of those places. I want to find more of them.

Island, you do not sound like a jerk & you should never apologize for your feelings. They are truly the only things we own outright that can NEVER be taken from us. I've read thru a lot of the threads & ran into something talking about White Male Privelage. I almost hesitate to voice my opinion here, but it is what it is. I have lived & been accepted as a man for over 30 years. I'm dark haired (Sicilian) & have a serious addiction to blondes. Lol. I never knew what this WMP was as I've lived as a straight man & been with straight women. I also feel no guilt at whatever WMP has afforded me thruout my life. But I have to say, you ending comments about other couples; I never gave that much thought & now I too hope that EVERY couple can enjoy that privelage. Being called a striking couple. Best seat in the house. Treated as all humans should be treated.
Thank you, Island for this response. You promoted a thought process I hadn't had. I appreciate that.

Quintease · 08-05-2012, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

Yes, I can relate. My husband and I look really good together, everyone comments on it. Everywhere we go we get smiles and compliments.

In the beginning I hated it. I felt like society was rewarding me for doing the right thing and dating a man.

Then a few things happened. I suddenly discovered how awful and insidious transphobia can be. I realised how hard it is to keep your mouth shut when people, who see you as a straight couple, let you in on their homophobia. I realise how scary and fragile living 'stealth' can be.

A bit of perspective reminded me that we are indeed still part of the wider queer society and nothing will ever take that away. Nothing except equality for all.

Leigh · 08-05-2012, 04:32 PM

I've dated 2 FTM's in my lifetime & they will always have a special place in my heart

sara-bera · 08-05-2012, 05:07 PM

I like their scent, their body language, their walk, the way they think, their individuality. I like the comfort they have in their skin; the comfort that comes of knowing exactly who and what one is because of the work they've done to get there. I like that they appreciate and encourage my girlishness. They are often protective and old fashioned -I like that a great deal. I like that they are inherently different from me - I like the balance that creates in a relationship.

08-04-2012, 02:52 PM	#3
Kent Member How Do You Identify?: Male Relationship Status: Single Tournaments Won: 2 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: TX Posts: 1,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,564 Thanked 2,058 Times in 720 Posts Rep Power: 19241326	Ladies.. We want to hear from you.. Just a little bump... __________________ Kent

08-05-2012, 04:32 PM	#7
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I've dated 2 FTM's in my lifetime & they will always have a special place in my heart __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

06-13-2012, 11:55 AM	#1
G Snap! Member How Do You Identify?: gay. I'm very happy, thank you! Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Relationship Status: Chefhmboyrd's seeing eye blonde Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Nashvegas Posts: 253 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 412 Thanked 1,109 Times in 229 Posts Rep Power: 6596929	(whew, it took me a little to read through this thread. And I didn't read the "expectations" thread either...) I can't relate what attracts me to ftm's because I have been with just biomales until I started seeing @ and I never considered ftm until I met him. I never knew any until I met @ and I honestly don't know if I will date others as I am in this relationship for the long run. You see, I love everything about him. The way he looks, smells, feels, tastes, and (did I get all the senses?) sounds (and his voice is a whole 'nuther story.) I absolutely love love love living with him, he is everything I love about men without the "unpleasantries" (I am not listing those.) And he is as good of a cook as he is good looking. I am spoiled! I don't think of him being any more sensitive, as I know a few butches who are outright d*cks (pardon my term) and are less sensitive than some bio males I know. Sensitivity comes with being a good communicator and listener and this is a learned skill, through upbringing or classes. I (like to think) as a ftm progresses in their transformation and become settled in the body they once hated, they learn to love themselves and are a happier person and are more receptive to listen to others. They are (perhaps) better men because they try to be good men and are secure in/with their manhood. The only insult I ever find (to him) is anyone assuming I am a lesbian because I am with him, as it means they do not see him as a man. I don't have any expectations of him because he was once female. I find having expectations just sets ones self up for disappointment. But he is forgiving during those times of the month when I feel like poo. Bio guys have no idea what it is like.

06-13-2012, 03:13 PM	#2
Nadeest Member How Do You Identify?: as myself Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Leesburg, FL Posts: 595 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,876 Thanked 2,118 Times in 501 Posts Rep Power: 17077997	One of the chatrooms/forums that I hung out in, when I first started transitioning was primarily for transgendered people, especially for those that were considering transition. There I met an ftm that I later ended up dating. He was the first person that I had dated, since I had started transition. He was so sweet and caring towards me, that I've had a soft spot for transmen since then. For one thing, I tend to feel a lot safer with them, then I do with cis-males. Also, they have some understanding of the stuff that I've tended to go through, during transition. I would also date a transwoman for that same reason, if any asked me out.

08-04-2012, 04:36 PM	#4
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,295 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	It's funny that I finally noticed this thread, while I'm watching Love Actually on cable. It came out in 2003 and I was in love with a transguy then. I spent the weekend with him before Christmas, and we went to this movie together. Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life. I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars. We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple. Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated. It's already happening, in some places. I've found some of those places. I want to find more of them.

08-05-2012, 05:07 PM	#8
sara-bera Member How Do You Identify?: female Join Date: May 2011 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 1,161 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,687 Thanked 2,858 Times in 739 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I like their scent, their body language, their walk, the way they think, their individuality. I like the comfort they have in their skin; the comfort that comes of knowing exactly who and what one is because of the work they've done to get there. I like that they appreciate and encourage my girlishness. They are often protective and old fashioned -I like that a great deal. I like that they are inherently different from me - I like the balance that creates in a relationship.