Talk to me about hair.

Nurse Darlin · 07-03-2012, 09:04 PM

I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls.

This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

nycfem · 07-03-2012, 10:33 PM

Makes me think of the saying, "If God wanted people to be gay, God would have made Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nurse Darlin

I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls.

This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

aishah · 07-03-2012, 11:07 PM

wow. why is it that people associate long hair with being female? i mean -that is biologically essentialist and somewhat transmisogynist on top of being really upsetting in general.

personally i am femme and have had long hair, short hair, and shaved (bald) hair. because my hair is super thick, frizzy, and dry, i prefer it either long or bald - currently it's long. but i was no less femme when i was bald...and actually it was emotionally and physically an extremely affirming thing for me as a femme when i did go bald. specifically because my whole life people have attached so much meaning to my hair and i've felt a lot of pain and pressure because of it - shaving allowed me to let go of a lot of that bullshit.

but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too.

i henna my hair using body art quality henna powder mixed with lemon juice, and i use coconut oil to make it more manageable. i've never used chemical dyes over henna but if the henna and the chemical dyes are both good, your hair shouldn't fall out. however, because henna binds to the hair unlike chemical dyes (it's reallllllly permanent), you may have some weird color reactions if you try to dye over it. that's why i usually don't recommend henna to folks who are really into getting specific color results or who use chemical dyes a lot.

KayCee · 07-04-2012, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aishah

but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too.

Is there even such a thing? femme enough?

I used to have thick long hair, wavy and if I let it air dry it was full of curls. Many people complimented me on it. But due to an ailment I had to let it get cut off and wear it shorter now...and feel no less femme than I have before with long hair...and it goes and looks good with ANY clothes I choose to wear.

If someone would automatically consider me being butch because I have shorter hair I would feel insulted. Not that being a butch is something wrong..of course not (I looove butches...lol)...but it's just not ME.

Personally I despise this whole stereotype 'put in a box thing'..like first sight..'ah..you belong in that box or the other'....or 'oh...she has long hair, must be a femme then'....

And what about bio men who like to wear long hair? Are they femmes too?..lol..no, but seriously:

Nothing (hairdo, type clothes, make up or not, toolbox in the hand or not...lol) can 'change' me or make me feel less femme than what I am truly inside!

Nurse Darlin · 07-04-2012, 10:38 AM

My apologies for seeming insensitive. I guess I should just insert foot into mouth and lower my head. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

GreeneyedMe · 07-04-2012, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitty4U

Is there even such a thing? femme enough?

If someone would automatically consider me being butch because I have shorter hair I would feel insulted. Not that being a butch is something wrong..of course not (I looove butches...lol)...but it's just not ME.

Personally I despise this whole stereotype 'put in a box thing'..like first sight..'ah..you belong in that box or the other'....or 'oh...she has long hair, must be a femme then'....

Nothing (hairdo, type clothes, make up or not, toolbox in the hand or not...lol) can 'change' me or make me feel less femme than what I am truly inside!

My thoughts EXACTLY....I just recently went through this with someone I met...she firmly stated " I cannot date you because you have short hair" Really???? My hair rocks!!! Long hair doesn't look right on me...and I am femme to the core!!

KayCee · 07-04-2012, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreeneyedMe

My thoughts EXACTLY....I just recently went through this with someone I met...she firmly stated " I cannot date you because you have short hair" Really???? My hair rocks!!! Long hair doesn't look right on me...and I am femme to the core!!

You know what GreeneyedMe...

? Some women look absolutely gorgeous with short hair!! It just looks 'better' on them..and if you're in the 'mood' top it off with some sexy makeup and luscious lips..there you go...mmmm...Perfect!

PS: I mean, just look at Halle Berry or Sharon Stone with short hair...hello..??..omg!...they're stunningly beautiful..and totally feminine!

GreeneyedMe · 07-04-2012, 04:45 PM

Thank you Kitty4U!!

You are absolutely right....I guess everyone likes what they like...has their own opinions....it's a sensitive subject for me....seems around where I live, short hair is a downfall. But hey! Their loss, right? Someone will snap me up when they decide to look past the cover and actually open the book...

Beloved · 07-04-2012, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nurse Darlin

My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls.

This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

I am sure this wasn't your intention, but this "opinion" may come across as insensitive to some here. And it's kind of surprising to me to find this opinion on a butch-femme-genderqueer forum. Lots of butch women/trans were forced to wear dresses, have long hair, and the like. Gender is fluid and if your daughters are truly "girly" short hair can never take that away from them. And if they are not girly, it's better to let them be whoever they are. I don't usually get into the God thing, but since you did, God made everyone and there is a great variation in gender and gender expression and I am soooo glad for that! Without it the butch/femme dynamic wouldn't exist.

Have a happy 4th.

07-03-2012, 09:04 PM	#1
Nurse Darlin Member How Do You Identify?: Femme-agressive at times Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/babygirl Relationship Status: Never been more in love with my Sugarbear! Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: West Virginia Posts: 148 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 278 Thanked 477 Times in 87 Posts Rep Power: 4732369	I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own! __________________ Forever is not a word, but rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe

07-04-2012, 10:38 AM	#5
Nurse Darlin Member How Do You Identify?: Femme-agressive at times Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/babygirl Relationship Status: Never been more in love with my Sugarbear! Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: West Virginia Posts: 148 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 278 Thanked 477 Times in 87 Posts Rep Power: 4732369	My apologies for seeming insensitive. I guess I should just insert foot into mouth and lower my head. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. __________________ Forever is not a word, but rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe

07-04-2012, 04:45 PM	#8
GreeneyedMe Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Sweet Femme ones Relationship Status: Peeking around the corner... Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 874 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,380 Thanked 4,375 Times in 804 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Thank you Kitty4U!! You are absolutely right....I guess everyone likes what they like...has their own opinions....it's a sensitive subject for me....seems around where I live, short hair is a downfall. But hey! Their loss, right? Someone will snap me up when they decide to look past the cover and actually open the book... __________________ "I do not exist to impress the world. I exist to live my life in a way that will make me happy." ~Richard Bach

07-03-2012, 11:07 PM	#3
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,442 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	wow. why is it that people associate long hair with being female? i mean -that is biologically essentialist and somewhat transmisogynist on top of being really upsetting in general. personally i am femme and have had long hair, short hair, and shaved (bald) hair. because my hair is super thick, frizzy, and dry, i prefer it either long or bald - currently it's long. but i was no less femme when i was bald...and actually it was emotionally and physically an extremely affirming thing for me as a femme when i did go bald. specifically because my whole life people have attached so much meaning to my hair and i've felt a lot of pain and pressure because of it - shaving allowed me to let go of a lot of that bullshit. but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too. i henna my hair using body art quality henna powder mixed with lemon juice, and i use coconut oil to make it more manageable. i've never used chemical dyes over henna but if the henna and the chemical dyes are both good, your hair shouldn't fall out. however, because henna binds to the hair unlike chemical dyes (it's reallllllly permanent), you may have some weird color reactions if you try to dye over it. that's why i usually don't recommend henna to folks who are really into getting specific color results or who use chemical dyes a lot.