Tristan Taormino - loves butch girls

BullDog · 07-11-2012, 07:29 PM

I know of plenty of butches who refer to themselves as girl and it has nothing to do with them being submissive. I don't particularly like being called girl but it doesn't sting and I don't consider it an insult unless someone is clearly trying to insult. I also don't like being called lady. I can't stand when men refer to women as girls, but when other women do it it doesn't bother me. I also don't like straight people using the term dyke.

As for the quote, I wasn't offended. I think the author was talking about her own feelings using her own words. I think it was a very butch positive quote and she clearly admires and is attracted to butches.

The_Lady_Snow · 07-11-2012, 07:34 PM

I don't believe she was educating straight men she was more examining the draw they had towards her girlfriend.. I'll have reread it.

BullDog · 07-11-2012, 07:37 PM

I think she gets butches just fine

"Straight men (my friends included) can and have been friendly to my lovers, but they're often uncomfortable when they're butches. Part of their discomfort is that butches are inherently threatening to most men. Men sense that a butch's masculinity is more appealing to me than theirs, and if she's packin' heat (wielding a dildo), which you know they imagine she is, well, there you have it. My girlfriend Red is a better man than most men.

At my cousin's wedding a few weeks back in upstate New York, Red and I were (surprise, surprise) the only lesbians. We were seated at a table with all my cousin's friends—married yuppies. The husbands were totally fascinated by Red. One in particular wanted to know where she got her hair cut, and he admired her flattop repeatedly, saying he wished his looked so good. This experience at the wedding has actually been happening a lot lately, and other butches I know report similar situations. I'm still mystified when straight men seem drawn to Red, but I have a few theories. In some cases, I think that men feel they can have a safe gay interaction with her; they can flirt and be playful (and even talk interior decorating) as if she were another guy because they know she's really a woman. Sometimes men actually identify with her as one of the guys, automatically admitting her into that fraternal order. But when they admire her suit, her wingtips, her hair, they seem to be learning from her what it's like to be a good man. She embodies a study of ideal masculinity, which is all in the details."

WickedFemme · 07-11-2012, 08:44 PM

It's my opinion, I own it whether or not you agree or disagree is your opinion and I respect differences. Yes, when she lectures at universities I assume that the majority of the audience are heterosexuals because statistics don't lie. I don't know her personally, but I have met her once briefly. She seems like an okay person. However, I don't think anyone is the authority on any subject regardless of who they think they are. We are all people experiencing our own lives and living our own biases because we are subjective. My partner is one who identifies as female butch and I'm very okay with that. I accept how everyone identifies - who am I to judge. However, I can see how her statements could be interpreted as misogynistic depending upon where you are standing on the spectrum of gender identity. My butch is my boy. I'm sure that Tristan's butch at that time was quite alright with the way she represented her at the time. I'm hoping and quite sure she wasn't speaking of all butches. and yes, I will not retract my statement that heteros probably find her quite intriguing. personally, she bores me and I don't read her stuff or pay for her lectures. She just isn't that interesting to me, but that's my perogative. I'm sure I did not spell that word correctly. hahaha!

07-11-2012, 07:29 PM	#1
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,656 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I know of plenty of butches who refer to themselves as girl and it has nothing to do with them being submissive. I don't particularly like being called girl but it doesn't sting and I don't consider it an insult unless someone is clearly trying to insult. I also don't like being called lady. I can't stand when men refer to women as girls, but when other women do it it doesn't bother me. I also don't like straight people using the term dyke. As for the quote, I wasn't offended. I think the author was talking about her own feelings using her own words. I think it was a very butch positive quote and she clearly admires and is attracted to butches. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

07-11-2012, 07:34 PM	#2
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,080 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Confused I don't believe she was educating straight men she was more examining the draw they had towards her girlfriend.. I'll have reread it. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

07-11-2012, 07:37 PM	#3
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,656 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I think she gets butches just fine "Straight men (my friends included) can and have been friendly to my lovers, but they're often uncomfortable when they're butches. Part of their discomfort is that butches are inherently threatening to most men. Men sense that a butch's masculinity is more appealing to me than theirs, and if she's packin' heat (wielding a dildo), which you know they imagine she is, well, there you have it. My girlfriend Red is a better man than most men. At my cousin's wedding a few weeks back in upstate New York, Red and I were (surprise, surprise) the only lesbians. We were seated at a table with all my cousin's friends—married yuppies. The husbands were totally fascinated by Red. One in particular wanted to know where she got her hair cut, and he admired her flattop repeatedly, saying he wished his looked so good. This experience at the wedding has actually been happening a lot lately, and other butches I know report similar situations. I'm still mystified when straight men seem drawn to Red, but I have a few theories. In some cases, I think that men feel they can have a safe gay interaction with her; they can flirt and be playful (and even talk interior decorating) as if she were another guy because they know she's really a woman. Sometimes men actually identify with her as one of the guys, automatically admitting her into that fraternal order. But when they admire her suit, her wingtips, her hair, they seem to be learning from her what it's like to be a good man. She embodies a study of ideal masculinity, which is all in the details." __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

07-11-2012, 08:44 PM	#4
WickedFemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Very Happily Married to Bobbi46 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: where I want to be Posts: 313 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 355 Thanked 994 Times in 221 Posts Rep Power: 7014692	It's my opinion, I own it whether or not you agree or disagree is your opinion and I respect differences. Yes, when she lectures at universities I assume that the majority of the audience are heterosexuals because statistics don't lie. I don't know her personally, but I have met her once briefly. She seems like an okay person. However, I don't think anyone is the authority on any subject regardless of who they think they are. We are all people experiencing our own lives and living our own biases because we are subjective. My partner is one who identifies as female butch and I'm very okay with that. I accept how everyone identifies - who am I to judge. However, I can see how her statements could be interpreted as misogynistic depending upon where you are standing on the spectrum of gender identity. My butch is my boy. I'm sure that Tristan's butch at that time was quite alright with the way she represented her at the time. I'm hoping and quite sure she wasn't speaking of all butches. and yes, I will not retract my statement that heteros probably find her quite intriguing. personally, she bores me and I don't read her stuff or pay for her lectures. She just isn't that interesting to me, but that's my perogative. I'm sure I did not spell that word correctly. hahaha!