To Write Love on Her Arms

[D-Money]

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

[Jet]

Originally Posted by D-Money

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

Ditto. great post. But I think the writing thing for depression was intended to be equivalent to ribbons for AIDS or breast cancer etc. *shrugs* I dunno I'm assuming. There's nothing much more comforting than a hug or kind words.

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by D-Money

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

Originally Posted by Jet

Ditto. great post. But I think the writing thing for depression was intended to be equivalent to ribbons for AIDS or breast cancer etc. *shrugs* I dunno I'm assuming. There's nothing much more comforting than a hug or kind words.

I haven't posted here in some time, because I simply wanted to create the space for those who have been affected, for whom this is a relevant issue, speak in their own voices. That includes those who dissent, as well.

Although these are older posts, I wanted to address each. First, I think it's worth pointing out that writing love on his/her arms does not preclude awareness, educating oneself on symptoms and conditions, or otherwise offering support ("a hug" - which frankly is often as not what a person in the depths of deep, clinical depression needs, or even wants). In fact, the entire point of this "movement" is to draw a big bright arrow that points toward the condition so to place it in the public consciousness. After that, it is up to individuals to educate themselves as needed. Even if one "clueless" trend follower then starts to ask questions and learns a thing or two, I think the cause has been served.

Those who don't think this "movement is a good thing" are given the choice to simply not participate, while others continue to draw a dangerous, largely unspoken, and highly stigmatized condition out into the light. If we don't know who needs the help, to whom are we to offer it?

[The_Lady_Snow]

We are supporters of this movement! It's helped a lot of young people know they are not alone. TWLOHA has booths set up at @Warped Tour@ so kids & adults become aware via music.

Thanks Bent for keeping this real issue amongst our youth & adults alive.

[owen4u1904]

Originally Posted by D-Money

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

I have had two friends do the whole suicide thing. And I dont like it when people are afraid to talk about it. Because unfortunately it is a part of our lives. I have even taken a class for suicide prevention/intervention kinda thing. I am very big on raising awareness for depression because I have not come to that point in my life but I know when I get in a funk I dont like it. I do have trichotillomania, been doing it since I was 11 or so. And it makes me wonder if that is my way of "cutting" or making myself feel better. I am going to therapy again for the 3rd time, so hopefully 3rd time is a charm. Gonna attempt to get more family members in there this time. Gonna be started on paxil, since my therapist claims its ocd related, but my next meeting I wanna talk to her about it. Some people have said if you take paxil and get depressed it can make you even more depressed.

[The_Lady_Snow]

To Write Love On Her Arms.... It's a cause that I have fully supported since I have found out about it, it is not a fashionable way for me to run around with a heart on my hand or wrist, it is something I strongly believe in and believe it has and will continue to help those who have felt this way or feel this..

It is something that shows people they are not alone, that someone cares and that there is help...

When Superfemme's daughter went through her own personal hell, I remembered about what this organization means to my own kid who fought her own personal demons growing into her skin. I figured it would help her see like it has many of us..

No, you are not alone.... Someone quoted a friend saying this was a trendy thing to do, I dunno much about trends matter of fact I could give a fuck who does what and why I do things because I believe in them and know how they have personally affected us.

Mister Bent I would participate in a TWLOHA day here on the Planet, and post pics...

Thank you so much for bringing up such a difficult subject and shedding a light on such an awesome movement....

[Andrew, Jr.]

There is another site I posted about called Bringchange2mind.org. It is a host of psa's to help eliminate the usual negative stigma of mental illness most of us face. It was started up by Ron Howard and Glenn Close. They are now on TV, and you can watch them online as well.

Personally, anything that helps anyone with mental illness in a positive way has my full attention and acceptance.

[Princess4u]

Such lovely thoughts and expressions...and part of me really thinks that ppl mean them when they say them. But my black hell has never know the light of day..and never will...and I have heard those words so many times...and found to be so untrue...its seem to be a waste of breath to me. The only hope I have....is that I cant live forever..and one day...all this will be over. I stopped praying for strength and support...now I pray that HE will take me as soon as possible. But...they are such lovely thoughts!

[Spirit Dancer]

Princess
There are many people who are sincere and helpful. If you need help or someone to talk too call, pm, chat i'm here for you.
You are not alone, never feel you can't reach out to someone, I've been where you are and lost a lifetime friend because she couldn't reach out.
I'm extending my hand, please know you're not alone.

Originally Posted by Princess4u

Such lovely thoughts and expressions...and part of me really thinks that ppl mean them when they say them. But my black hell has never know the light of day..and never will...and I have heard those words so many times...and found to be so untrue...its seem to be a waste of breath to me. The only hope I have....is that I cant live forever..and one day...all this will be over. I stopped praying for strength and support...now I pray that HE will take me as soon as possible. But...they are such lovely thoughts!

[Ms. Meander]

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/gall...822&ppuser=482

[Soft*Silver]

I have tears in my eyes as I read and respond to this...first, because I lost my brother to suicide due to severe depression and reading stories of those who battled with it just suck the breath right out of me, even 35 years later. You just dont know how much it hurts to be the one left behind...

and then the tears spill because this past year was one of my hardest years I ever got thru. I was SEVERELY suicidal most of last winter and early spring. Talk about losing everything...good god...everything, including my sobriety of 20 years. Lost my daughter who wouldnt speak to me because of the relapse. Lost any hope of living happily ever after. Lost my cord that kept me to this earth...yep...

small things pull us thru sometimes...it was my dog's dementia that kept me from pulling the trigger. She was so attached to me and so needy and so lost when I wasnt there for her. To kill myself would essentially be killing her. And I just couldnt do that to her. Sounds silly now, sounds like an excuse not to follow in my brother's footsteps (and suicide is often a family coping mechanism) and I am almost ashamed to say a dog saved my life...it sounds so..silly..

but it is what kept me here. And I called my sister one night, and she came over and I purged all of my suicidal thoughts of worthlessness and pain. And she wept hard...because I had called her BEFORE and she was not needing to do for me what she had done for my brother...(too graphic to tell here...)

Now I am sober over a year again. My daughter clings to me so glad I am home and alive. I have a wonderful guy in my life and we are building slowly. My health is shot but I am working on establishing some way I can feel worthwhile again in the mental health profession. And more importantly, I am grounded again...I see myself as a person worth living for. I love the title of it...To Write Love On Her Arms. I did subtle things to cue myself of my worth..I would paint my nails a new color every day so that when I looked at my colors, I would think of how much I loved myself and wanted to stay. My honey never knew this...we have a LDR...but he sent me dozens of polishes this summer. His love, with mine, pieced me back together again...

thanks, Mr Bently, for making this thread. For me. For all of us. Thank you.

[Deborah]

Originally Posted by softness

[B][COLOR="DarkRed"]
small things pull us thru sometimes...it was my dog's dementia that kept me from pulling the trigger. She was so attached to me and so needy and so lost when I wasnt there for her. To kill myself would essentially be killing her. And I just couldnt do that to her. Sounds silly now, sounds like an excuse not to follow in my brother's footsteps (and suicide is often a family coping mechanism) and I am almost ashamed to say a dog saved my life...it sounds so..silly..

Not silly at all...this makes so much sense to me it brings tears to my eyes....you have shown how strong and kind you are by staying here for those reasons...

[suebee]

Originally Posted by softness

I have tears in my eyes as I read and respond to this...first, because I lost my brother to suicide due to severe depression and reading stories of those who battled with it just suck the breath right out of me, even 35 years later. You just dont know how much it hurts to be the one left behind...

and then the tears spill because this past year was one of my hardest years I ever got thru. I was SEVERELY suicidal most of last winter and early spring. Talk about losing everything...good god...everything, including my sobriety of 20 years. Lost my daughter who wouldnt speak to me because of the relapse. Lost any hope of living happily ever after. Lost my cord that kept me to this earth...yep...

small things pull us thru sometimes...it was my dog's dementia that kept me from pulling the trigger. She was so attached to me and so needy and so lost when I wasnt there for her. To kill myself would essentially be killing her. And I just couldnt do that to her. Sounds silly now, sounds like an excuse not to follow in my brother's footsteps (and suicide is often a family coping mechanism) and I am almost ashamed to say a dog saved my life...it sounds so..silly..

but it is what kept me here. And I called my sister one night, and she came over and I purged all of my suicidal thoughts of worthlessness and pain. And she wept hard...because I had called her BEFORE and she was not needing to do for me what she had done for my brother...(too graphic to tell here...)

Now I am sober over a year again. My daughter clings to me so glad I am home and alive. I have a wonderful guy in my life and we are building slowly. My health is shot but I am working on establishing some way I can feel worthwhile again in the mental health profession. And more importantly, I am grounded again...I see myself as a person worth living for. I love the title of it...To Write Love On Her Arms. I did subtle things to cue myself of my worth..I would paint my nails a new color every day so that when I looked at my colors, I would think of how much I loved myself and wanted to stay. My honey never knew this...we have a LDR...but he sent me dozens of polishes this summer. His love, with mine, pieced me back together again...

thanks, Mr Bently, for making this thread. For me. For all of us. Thank you.

Softness. Your dog is not a silly excuse to hang on. We know that they need us, and that we'd be abandoning them if we leave. My animal companions are all that kept me hanging on for a couple of years where I had bouts of severe suicidal thoughts - sometimes for months at a time. A friend of mine who was a psychiatric nurse once sent an outpatient client back to her mother's house - an hour's drive away - because she had left her cat there the previous weekend and my friend was sure it was a precusor to suicide.

We hold on to what we have. Who cares if it's a little thing? It's our version of "One Day at a Time", and as long as it works, that's all that's important.

Since I came out of the worst of my depression I've had to deal with lung cancer, and now am waiting for test results to confirm a diagnosis of a particular type of arthritis. I'm in pain ALL the time. Now here's the good news: I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle major crises in life after my depression. I was afraid that the black monster would come back and claim me. Well guess what - I'm stronger than it is. I may have lost a lot because of it, I may be a change person since it. But I am stronger than it.

So are you.

We are ALL there for you. You only need to ask. Any one of us will help. You will have your life back. You are working on it. It won't be the same life, but it will be YOURS.

[Princess4u]

Dear Softness,
How amazing you are....how wondefully amazing you are...your courage and strength are evident in what you have survived and how you took control...YOU took control....I was just telling a friend lastnight that we have to take control of our lives.....we have a right to take our lives back from the demons which torment us....and you did.....and for one..I can say........Softenss...I am gladd you did......keep painting your nails sister....perhaps we can have polish swaps when you run out.......thank you for calling your sister...and thank you for taking your life back...and thank you for coming here to share with us!! Love and peace..Princess

[Soft*Silver]

well, my sister...you have walked in your darkness and survived. Count yourself amongst the courageous!

We all have demons..some demons more ugly than others but I try to remember that the demons are not us. We are not the ugly. The ugly is all that unhealed pain of generations of torture, until it got down to us. Now that I realize that, I simply wont pass it on and I wont die from it. Not now.


My old dog has taught me alot about love. Such as, those you can depend on and are always there for you are the ones worthy of your love. All I did was love her enough not to die for her. I put her first. In doing so, I saved my own life. Its funny how that works... but if I had done that for someone OH so not worthy of it, I am sure it would have made my depression worse...

hang in there...dont let go...call out for someone...hold on for some reason....just dont go...

Originally Posted by Princess4u

Dear Softness,
How amazing you are....how wondefully amazing you are...your courage and strength are evident in what you have survived and how you took control...YOU took control....I was just telling a friend lastnight that we have to take control of our lives.....we have a right to take our lives back from the demons which torment us....and you did.....and for one..I can say........Softenss...I am gladd you did......keep painting your nails sister....perhaps we can have polish swaps when you run out.......thank you for calling your sister...and thank you for taking your life back...and thank you for coming here to share with us!! Love and peace..Princess

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by softness

well, my sister...you have walked in your darkness and survived. Count yourself amongst the courageous!

We all have demons..some demons more ugly than others but I try to remember that the demons are not us. We are not the ugly. The ugly is all that unhealed pain of generations of torture, until it got down to us. Now that I realize that, I simply wont pass it on and I wont die from it. Not now.


My old dog has taught me alot about love. Such as, those you can depend on and are always there for you are the ones worthy of your love. All I did was love her enough not to die for her. I put her first. In doing so, I saved my own life. Its funny how that works... but if I had done that for someone OH so not worthy of it, I am sure it would have made my depression worse...

hang in there...dont let go...call out for someone...hold on for some reason....just dont go...

If you mean survive because I am still breathing....then yes....i am lucky as we all are....but I think we all know otherwise...surviving doenst just mean "going through the motions" and breathing in and out 20 times a minute...which even then takes more effort than its worth. Softness....I am blessed you are here....I am greatful that you reached out....and I hope that should such a time come again you would reach out just once more...We all continue with the struggle of "not giving up" and sometimes it takes someone else to remind us why we are here....and its as simple as just breathing so we can be here for one another when we are needed the most. much love my nail polish sister.....I am holding you high and I am holding you tight!!!

[Mitmo01]

wow Softness I can totally relate, last year the only thing that kept me around were my 4 cats. I was so depressed that it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other and not slice my wrists open but these felines that have chosen me..not the other way around mind you.....saved my life

They have all given me so much more than I could ever give them

They made me stay here when i had no desire to at all and to them I am truly grateful

yeah depression is a motherfucker

and sometimes its so hard to not give up

[Billy]

Originally Posted by D-Money

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

You really think it's a trend ..And because you don't like it you think its stupid for others to show there emotion or support by putting this on their arm ..Amazing ..

[Ms. Meander]

To me this topic is intensely personal, for no matter how much distance lies between my present self and the darkest days of my youth, I shall always bear the evidence upon my skin of the struggle I endured. I have grown, healed, overcome. But still, there are days when I see these scars and must fight off the guilt, shame, and stigma.

I support the "movement" as a means of awareness. And more personally, it is a means of empowerment and self-love. Whether I literally write love on my arm or simply think loving, courageous thoughts, I am strengthened by bringing to light what could so easily be swept back into the shadows. The cycle of denial and shame is what took me to the brink in the first place. Of course I wish I had no scars, but I do. Hating them will not serve me. What choice have I, if I want to live a healthy life, but to love my scars and therefor love myself?

like most who have posted on this thread, i have struggled w/depression for most of my life, starting as a youngster. the first of my strokes didn't help, as it affected the part of the brain dealing w/emotions. now, in addition to situational depression, i have to deal w/intense depression that comes seemingly from nowhere and departs as mysteriously as it came.when younger, i was a cutter. that helped where no drugs and no psychotherapy did. i started almost by accident after finding out that ascratch on marm made me feel not better but in less psychic pain. from that i progressed to knives and finally to a razor blade. then cutting became dangerous, as i gradually lost my inner "stop" instinct. the cuts on my arms became deeper and more suicidal. i truly did not care whether i lived through them. one day,for no reason i can discern, i simply stopped cutting. the periods of depression still came and went, as intense as ever. no drugs touched them, nor did talk therapy. i looked back on cutting with an ache like that of missing a lost love. it WORKED in a way that nothing else did. still i did no cut, nor do i now. lately, however, in my darker days, cutting has regained its viability. i still do not do it, but it has become a possibility again. will i someday pick up mu razor blade again? i don't know but i could. i could.
pres