Long Distance Relationships

thedivahrrrself · 03-04-2013, 04:12 PM

On the subject of relocation (and I will preface this by saying this is Just My Two Cents), I personally would not move in with someone while relocating to a new city. There are a few reasons for this.

You're going to have to get used to seeing each other a lot more often. Add living together to the mix, and it sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. There's a difference getting to know each other when you're travelling to see someone and getting to know each other when you're both doing the daily grind of work and house chores, and all that jazz.
In a new community, you will need to make your own friends. It will be hard not to just make your partner's friends into your friends. Having your own space and some independence in a new city allows you to explore the city and the people without only seeing the city through your partner's eyes. In my eyes, this makes you less dependent on the person who already lives there, and I think some measure of independence is extremely important. If you move somewhere, and your whole world, in that new place, is your partner, that's a lot of pressure on them, and it only sets you up for disappointment when they can't be everything to you.
There is no such thing as "not moving in quick enough". LOL Many people (IMHO) move too quickly. I know I have before, and the results were disastrous. I'm working off the hypothesis that slower moving relationships may achieve more stable, long-term results. I will let you know how my research progresses

03-04-2013, 04:12 PM	#11
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,656 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	On the subject of relocation (and I will preface this by saying this is Just My Two Cents), I personally would not move in with someone while relocating to a new city. There are a few reasons for this. You're going to have to get used to seeing each other a lot more often. Add living together to the mix, and it sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. There's a difference getting to know each other when you're travelling to see someone and getting to know each other when you're both doing the daily grind of work and house chores, and all that jazz. In a new community, you will need to make your own friends. It will be hard not to just make your partner's friends into your friends. Having your own space and some independence in a new city allows you to explore the city and the people without only seeing the city through your partner's eyes. In my eyes, this makes you less dependent on the person who already lives there, and I think some measure of independence is extremely important. If you move somewhere, and your whole world, in that new place, is your partner, that's a lot of pressure on them, and it only sets you up for disappointment when they can't be everything to you. There is no such thing as "not moving in quick enough". LOL Many people (IMHO) move too quickly. I know I have before, and the results were disastrous. I'm working off the hypothesis that slower moving relationships may achieve more stable, long-term results. I will let you know how my research progresses __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.