What makes a Butch "Butch"

[psykftm]

Heya you said:

Originally Posted by Wolfsong

Know what? I used to have this friend that whenever anyone ever asked her whether she was butch or not she would smile and say, "I'm not anything. I'm just me." At the time I guess you can say I didn't get it completely. The truth is I wasn't thinking about it anymore than if someone had asked her, "Why do you like that shirt?" and she replied; "I dunno. I just do."

lol my girlfriend is like that. "I'm just Dee".

You said:
"I was set free when I had arrived in a place where people actually used male pronouns for me. Once that gate was open I was off through like a wolf that had been caught in a pen it's whole life."

You're probably right, I have this guy at work that calls me sir, and that kinda thing helps, I don't really know why though.

You said:
"What I would tell you is this. When I stopped looking for the perfect label I found myself. That perfect label, the perfect description for others, will stop you from being all of who you are. Don't waste time. There will be a moment when, for the very first time, you are able to look in the mirror and genuinely like the whole person looking back at you. I'm telling you the truth. That is the moment when you really start living."

Really good description. I mean my girlfriend was really into femmes, but I don't think she looked to label me as butch, she liked who I was. I want to somehow balance being proud to be a butch with not relying on the label so much

You said:
Tell her. If you are challenged to find the right words, print that post and show it to her.

and you also said:
Maybe I missed it someplace in your posts. Are the two of you in a BDSM relationship? Because that is where the terms Dominant and submissive come from in the way that you are using them. D/s is not for everyone nor is it a naturally progressive state from one type of relationship to another. Neither role is specific to a gender.

Well....I don't think she likes anything to do with bdsm, we might run into a compatibility issue. The only way I could really get that hotness off of being walked through the crowd is if the person...liked to dominate? Dee is really gentle...I don't think I am, and would rather be handled roughly myself. Oye...


Thanks for the advice...I do tend to just blend butch/femme sub/dom all together