Fierce Femmes, Allies and Gender Expectations...

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I, for example, have way more in common with a 16 year old guy, than I do Betty Crocker!

Gurlllll, don't I know it... *I* have boys that bake for me

I am not even sure what a feeling is.

*I* can make ya feel though

I am very un-romantic.

Right? You want romance go cruise your local Hallmark store


I fall alsleep after sex.

heh



I strap on.

I too love my cock!

I like to "run the show", as it were.

I too run my household..

I like to be called Daddy

There is only one Daddy in our house, and that is *me*

etc....

For myself I can compute with you in these ways.... I can't with alot of other femmes cause they are what I am not nor ever could be, so at times I have been downed by them for not being a *real femme*

My response..

"I got your *real femme* right here as I grab my big fat femme cock..

Just sayin

[Selenay]

I am femme
I am a bottom
I am submissive
I am passive
I take it

Except

When I'm not

I am butch
I'm a Top
I'm the instigator
I'm Miss
I give it

I don't cook and I don't bake
I don't like to fold and I'm happy to keep all my clothes in two piles: dirty, and clean.
I feel far more powerful walking down a street wearing Tims than I do in Steve Maddens

Who's your Daddy, now?

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Selenay

I am femme
I am a bottom
I am submissive
I am passive
I take it

Except

When I'm not

I am butch
I'm a Top
I'm the instigator
I'm Miss
I give it

I don't cook and I don't bake
I don't like to fold and I'm happy to keep all my clothes in two piles: dirty, and clean.
I feel far more powerful walking down a street wearing Tims than I do in Steve Maddens

Who's your Daddy, now?

Oh yeahhhh!

I do the laundry, but only beacsue I am picky about it. I don't cook, Cynthia is picky about that.

I bring home the bacon and hand it over!

Woof!

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

One thing I have learned to despise over the years is...

"No I don't want a baby girl type femme" in the same breath

"Could you be just a lil more girly or femme?"

makes me want to punt a juice box off their fucking neck...

Folks are uncomfy or to insecure to be with a femme like myself, I don't submit, nor am I a Hallmark moment...

So my femme surely does not fit that pretty lil pink demure box most people are comfy with...

Ha, no Lifetime television for Women here either!

When I first joined a B/F site someone asked me why I did not go with a softer name like Snugglybunnyfemme...well first off, I am not a snuggler...I am llergic to rabbits (adorable as they are)...and well, I just don't feel like anyone's baby anything.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Ha, no Lifetime television for Women here either!

When I first joined a B/F site someone asked me why I did not go with a softer name like Snugglybunnyfemme...well first off, I am not a snuggler...I am llergic to rabbits (adorable as they are)...and well, I just don't feel like anyone's baby anything.

My favorite thing is and always will be the horror and offense people take to

the ever so deviant

FEMME COCK





heh

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

My favorite thing is and always will be the horror and offense people take to

the ever so deviant

FEMME COCK





heh

Ohhhhh the humanityyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!



Though some seem to like it. Muahahahaha.

[SuperFemme]

BOINK. Did somebody say Femme Cock?

I love it (unless it has glitterj).

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

BOINK. Did somebody say Femme Cock?

I love it (unless it has glitterj).

But the opalescence is fine, right???

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

But the opalescence is fine, right???

Opal IS my birthstone.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Opal IS my birthstone.

Perfect!

[Selenay]

When I strap on my boots
And I slip on my suit
You see the vixen in me
Becomes an angel for you.

Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever.
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps getting better.

[Apocalipstic]

I do not always behave or even sit like a lady....

Do you?

Baby and wedding showers? Can't do it.

and you better remind me when your birthday is if you expect me to remember.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I do not always behave or even sit like a lady....

Do you?

Baby and wedding showers? Can't do it.

and you better remind me when your birthday is if you expect me to remember.

I just had to put on a baby shower for my MORMON daughter.

It.
Almost.
Killed.
Me.

[Nat]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I do not always behave or even sit like a lady....

Do you?

Baby and wedding showers? Can't do it.

and you better remind me when your birthday is if you expect me to remember.

I think if I die and go to hell, it will be a baby shower that never ends.

This is a great thread - thanks for starting it.

I'm a femme whose ID has morphed a lot since I came out 4 and a half years ago. I guess I'm not a baby-femme anymore, but I understand now more than in the past that I am still discovering who I am and what I enjoy and/or will enjoy in the future. I suspect it may be my fate in life to continually be going through some sea change, and that's alright I guess.

I don't think of myself as fierce, but I'm glad there are fierce femmes here. I feel like a guy a lot of the time, but I live in the femme. Both elements seem to me to be my nature.

Lately I have decided that for me all lines that separate one thing from another need to be dotted, permeable. Like the walls of a cell, I guess.

Several of you in this thread have helped me understand myself better by sharing your lives and experiences and that means a great deal. So thanks.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

For myself I can compute with you in these ways.... I can't with alot of other femmes cause they are what I am not nor ever could be, so at times I have been downed by them for not being a *real femme*

My response..

"I got your *real femme* right here as I grab my big fat femme cock..

Just sayin

The Hallmark isle gives me hives. Sometimes all Cynthia will ask for for a holiday is a sweet card I have actually read.....eeeeeeekkkkk....I almost hyperventilate every time.

My cock is blue and opalescent and named Blue Thunder!

[Martina]

i am femme. And i hate whatever i have tried to prefix to that in the past to let people know that i don't do my nails and i prefer wearing berkenstocks. Andro femme, tomboy femme, hippy femme. They all evoke looks of sympathy from people that make me then want to throttle them.

i am femme. End of conversation. But i am not any kind of stereotype. Up until i made a big career change that took all my time, i spent much of my time hanging out in bars listening to altcountry music -- a genre followed by middle aged white men. Most of my closest friends over the years have been men, and most of them straight. i was kind of one of those High Fidelity geeks except i didn't make lists and have a terrible memory.

i have always disliked the statement that so many femmes put out as if to confound stereotypes -- the i use power tools in my stilletos one. i do not touch power tools, and i have never owned a pair of stilettos. i don't do a lot of traditionally femme things, mostly because those things bore me. i'd rather be reading.

i may not collect shoes, but i also don't like sports. Although i used to hang out with guys all the time, when it was time for me to go home, they walked me to the car and carried my things.

i am happy to be a woman and a femme. i do not love all that woman and femme mean in our culture. Some of it i don't love just because it's not me. Some of it because it's sexist and reactionary.

Re D/s, i am a submissive. i love it. Most people who know me outside of leather would be surprised to hear it. i am a high school teacher. Mostly kids behave in my class because we have a relationship, but if they don't, it's not a problem. i can take care of it.

Re sex, i have been with stone butches and had perfectly satisfying relationships, but i am so not a stone femme. i love to fuck women. i am good at it. i don't strap. i am an old dyke. i am good with my hands.

i proudly ID as a bottom. i do not know how to use toys. Very little bores me more than long conversations about toys -- though i do take note of which ones i like used on me. But, like many masochists, i am also turned on by sadism, and i have made quite a few folks happy just using my hands and my teeth. Actually i had an old paddle i loved, but i lost it at some point.

i am femme, but i also date femmes. i am in service to a butch-femme couple now. i have served femmes before. i love it. However, i do not love the "ewww" that i have heard in my community when i have said that out loud in the past.

i like butches, but not all butches and not everything about butches. Some butches take my breath away. i love them for all the same reasons most femmes do. But i am not as big of a fan of the swagger as most femmes are. i prefer quiet confidence.

i also do not think that because i am a queer femme that i have anything over straight women or andro dykes. i am who i am. It's awesome. They are who they are. Awesome too. i have no interest in defining myself in a way that denigrates other women. i love women. i am femme.

[AtLast]

Thank you all for bringing all of this to the site! If there is one thing I have learned since embracing my B-F identity (really a newbie compared to many), is that femmes are absolutely not to be stereotyped! Which gives me so much freedom as a butch! Must be that dance...

I am thinking about attending the Femme Conference as an ally (and a volunteer to do some grunt work) in August in Oakland. I just don't see me affording the Reunion (which does make me sad) financially. And I think it would be a very good thing for me to attend as an ally and listen to femmes tell their stories and demonstrate their diversity.

And I am going to read this thread from start to finish!