Fierce Femmes, Allies and Gender Expectations...

[imperfect_cupcake]

thanks martina. I don't use any kind of qualifier. Nor do I use them with anyone else. When I have a gathering of friends, I don't refer to someone as my "femme" friend. or a "butch" buddie. They are my friend. I don't gender, race or sexuality denote/qualify my relationships to others. Why do they need to know what sexuality they are? when talking I don't say "my lesbian friend" or "my femme friend" or "my spanish friend"

Butches and femmes are just people, just like everyone else. just as diverse. I hate people assuming I know what they are talking about just because they have the same gender expression grouping I do. That's like assuming all people who wear the colour blue have x things in common. I don't. and stop assuming they do.

I have a strong thread of androgenous femininity/masculine femininity in me.
I can be completely gender neutral half the time, especially at work.
I don't like to be refered to by my gender(s). Ever. Use my name. And don't assume you know anything about me simply by my sexuality or because you know one of my genders.
I like gender neutral pronouns and she. if someone doesn't know me, if the world was perfect, I'd prefer they refered to me by gender neutral. And I wish this was done at work.
I'm not interested in how "you" see femmes anymore than being interested in how "you" see any group of people en mass.
Make a single joke about "femmes" and how we all can't drive (or whatever) and I'm more than likely to tell you a joke about all the stupid backward bitches like you I've met too. Sure is funny, you stupid backward bitches! but bless, ain't you cute in your own way? And really I love stupid backward bitches and have the utmost respect for them.

[Nina]

it speaks volumes to *me* that the discussion on this thread has woven around to the making and selling of 'bad butch faries' and the few word responses to the afore mentioned farie dolls...

I may well be wrong in my impression, and I may well be wrong in leaving any comment....still, I just find it so telling that when the question of Fierce Femmes and the whole range of self-expressions is on the table, the discussion comes back to butches and dolls

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Neen

it speaks volumes to *me* that the discussion on this thread has woven around to the making and selling of 'bad butch faries' and the few word responses to the afore mentioned farie dolls...

I may well be wrong in my impression, and I may well be wrong in leaving any comment....still, I just find it so telling that when the question of Fierce Femmes and the whole range of self-expressions is on the table, the discussion comes back to butches and dolls

Lmao! Sorry I have my life in the evenings and have not been back to post anything more heavy. But no I did not plan to end up talking about Butches and dolls, but I must admit to being amused my my own mental pictures of stuffed animals with backwards heads.

[Apocalipstic]

I actually do sometimes use Femme qualifiers because I am so excited to have Femme friends. I knew zero other Femmes before finding the Internets (heh) and it still makes me happy to be able to say "my Femme friend________". I think those of us who do not live in cities with millions of people and have less opportunity to see and meet other Femmes are maybe even a little star struck by other Femmes.

Also for me, the word "She" holds great power. Maybe because my mother died when I was a kid and Women have always been these mystical elusive creatures to me. I feel honored to be a She, while at the same time having a piggish teen aged boy/James Bond thing going on in my head.

As a child I wanted to be a boy about half of the time. I am not into sports either, not do I work on cars, though I can to a degree work on older cars(due to having owned some doozies in the past). I like books, art, music, theater, history and things of that nature.

I always rebelled at the thought that boys and girls had a completely different set of rules on how to act....which now gets carried over to Butch-Femme to quite an extent.

Except.

I love the transgressive feeling I get after work reading the newspaper while my big tattooed BullDyke G/F fixes dinner for me. It's HOT.

[Apocalipstic]

Oh and, yeah, my driving record is perfect.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Also for me, the word "She" holds great power. Maybe because my mother died when I was a kid and Women have always been these mystical elusive creatures to me. I feel honored to be a She, while at the same time having a piggish teen aged boy/James Bond thing going on in my head.

i loved this post so much i had to quote part of it back.

[Jess]

Let's not forget MOMMY can be totally fierce!!!

ADULT LANGUAGE IN USE: YOU BE WARNED!

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAk1dt13yLA"]YouTube- Missy Elliott - Mommy[/nomedia]

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Jess

Let's not forget MOMMY can be totally fierce!!!

ADULT LANGUAGE IN USE: YOU BE WARNED!

YouTube- Missy Elliott - Mommy

This is one of my FAVES by Missy Elliott and I think exemplifies the strength I've seen shown in here.

Count me in as a strong ally.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I actually do sometimes use Femme qualifiers because I am so excited to have Femme friends. I knew zero other Femmes before finding the Internets (heh) and it still makes me happy to be able to say "my Femme friend________". I think those of us who do not live in cities with millions of people and have less opportunity to see and meet other Femmes are maybe even a little star struck by other Femmes.
...

I love the transgressive feeling I get after work reading the newspaper while my big tattooed BullDyke G/F fixes dinner for me. It's HOT.

i love all of this! yes yes and yes!

i have said 'femme friend' because it's short-hand for 'she who gets a MAJOR part of my life without explanation, above all others' additionally, why not use the title (qualifier, if you must) for what it is, a title of respect?

<3

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by apretty

i love all of this! yes yes and yes!

i have said 'femme friend' because it's short-hand for 'she who gets a MAJOR part of my life without explanation, above all others' additionally, why not use the title (qualifier, if you must) for what it is, a title of respect?

<3

So glad I am not the only one to proudly say...this is My Femme Friend!

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So glad I am not the only one to proudly say...this is My Femme Friend!

My fiesty fierce femme friend you ROCK
where is a cat woman icon pfft