What Cracked You Up Today?

AtLast · 04-08-2010, 03:21 PM

My internal... PHOOEY when I click on someone's pic gallery button and there are none!! I'm sooooo transparent, sometimes!!!

Soon · 04-17-2010, 05:57 PM

Punished For Being Awesome? The Most Ridiculous Detention Slips Of All Time

Mister Bent · 04-17-2010, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

Punished For Being Awesome? The Most Ridiculous Detention Slips Of All Time

"Receiving oral sex in the middle of a practice field, then ignoring orders to go to the office and going to class instead?"

Andrew, Jr. · 04-17-2010, 06:32 PM

In Mass today, a somewhat bald guy tried to cover up his bald spot with 1 strand of hair. Please.

Sachita · 04-17-2010, 07:02 PM

my little psycho kitty attacking a big ass dog. He jump, leaps in the air and grabs his leg, attempts to drag him across the floor but he's too big! So the dog reaches around the bite the kitty and the kitty clamps onto his nose hanging there as the dog yelps and tosses his head.

I wish i had a video of this

Soon · 04-17-2010, 07:25 PM

"The folks at the Portland Mercury asked their readers what they'd like to see on the cover, and this slightly insane, slightly amazing pop-culture mindfuck is what they came up with."

Gemme · 04-17-2010, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

"The folks at the Portland Mercury asked their readers what they'd like to see on the cover, and this slightly insane, slightly amazing pop-culture mindfuck is what they came up with."

Please take a moment and consider how many of our industrious members live in or around Portland.......yeah, this isn't a surprise to me at all.

bigbutchmistie · 05-01-2010, 08:42 PM

On the phone talking to an "applicant" and simon just comes out of know where and jumps right on me while I am sitting on the couch. And starts licking my face LOL It was soooo cute

Blade · 05-09-2010, 12:42 PM

This actually happened Friday evening. On the way home from going out to eat Daddy told Moma to drive. It is his van and she has never driven it. About half way home
Him: turn the lights on

Her: why don't they come on automatically, mine do

Him: well this aint your's it's mine.

Her: where is the light switch

Him: on the dash

OK at this point she turns a knob on the left of the steering column. This gosh awful noise comes from the back of the van I think the transmission is falling out. Then the windshield wipers on the front glass come on. I start dying laughing.

Him: turn the wipers off and for God sake turn the back one off that is a $40 blade.

Her: I don't know how I turned it on, where's the lights?

mean while this terrible grinding is still going on in the back and it is the back windshield wiper dragging across a dry windshield. By now we are all cracked up and dying laughing. Moma is making hen sounds like she is laying eggs, Daddy is laughing and cussing enough to give a preacher goose bumps and I am laughing so hard by now tears are running down my face.

Him: pull over down here, you don't know how to drive you gonna tear my van up. THE DASH THE DASH, the light switch is on the DASH.

Her: OK OK and finally pulls the light switch

Still the wipers are back and forth across that back windsheild. Finally she pulled over and I went around and turned them off. Yes there is never a dull moment with them.

RockOn · 01-16-2012, 09:22 PM

I texted a femme friend today with photos of an '04 Chevy Avalanche 4x4 . It is candy color blue, awesome mudgrips - lifted to the sky. I test drove it. Anyway, she texted me back and all she said was something to the tune of how happy she is for me because she knows I am really enjoying my day off with this truck.

She then proceeded to describe how she is into a movie marathon today, etc. ... not one single comment about this beautiful truck.

I sent her another text and asked her what did she think of the truck and be honest ... if she thought it was ugly and hated it, then just say it.

I received a text back shortly . She said, "it's a pretty truck."

I was sitting in my truck when I read her one little comment about this sensational vehicle. For a couple of minutes, all I could do was gaze out the window dumbfounded. Then it registered. LOL! Guess with all my excitment, I was a little slow. I really had a good laugh.

Kobi · 01-18-2012, 08:51 AM

The local newspaper published an article on "some of the worst analogies written by high school students". These are amusing yet also kind of sad. Hope these kids dont have to take the MAT's.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room-temperature beef.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbarge truck backing up.
The red brick wall was the color of a red brick crayola crayon.
The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
It came down the stairs looking much like something no one had ever seen before.
The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10% cyan, 10% magenta, 60%yellow, and 10% black.

http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com

04-17-2010, 07:02 PM	#5
Sachita Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern Virginia Posts: 3,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,564 Thanked 8,992 Times in 2,247 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	my little psycho kitty attacking a big ass dog. He jump, leaps in the air and grabs his leg, attempts to drag him across the floor but he's too big! So the dog reaches around the bite the kitty and the kitty clamps onto his nose hanging there as the dog yelps and tosses his head. I wish i had a video of this __________________ You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else. ~ Daniel Franzese

04-17-2010, 07:25 PM	#6
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,093 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Found on Feministing "The folks at the Portland Mercury asked their readers what they'd like to see on the cover, and this slightly insane, slightly amazing pop-culture mindfuck is what they came up with."

01-18-2012, 08:51 AM	#11
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,611 Times in 7,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	The local newspaper published an article on "some of the worst analogies written by high school students". These are amusing yet also kind of sad. Hope these kids dont have to take the MAT's. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room-temperature beef. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbarge truck backing up. The red brick wall was the color of a red brick crayola crayon. The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. It came down the stairs looking much like something no one had ever seen before. The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10% cyan, 10% magenta, 60%yellow, and 10% black. http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com

04-08-2010, 03:21 PM	#1
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	My internal... PHOOEY when I click on someone's pic gallery button and there are none!! I'm sooooo transparent, sometimes!!!

04-17-2010, 05:57 PM	#2
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,093 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Punished For Being Awesome? The Most Ridiculous Detention Slips Of All Time

04-17-2010, 06:32 PM	#4
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	In Mass today, a somewhat bald guy tried to cover up his bald spot with 1 strand of hair. Please.

05-01-2010, 08:42 PM	#8
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	On the phone talking to an "applicant" and simon just comes out of know where and jumps right on me while I am sitting on the couch. And starts licking my face LOL It was soooo cute

05-09-2010, 12:42 PM	#9
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,412 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	This actually happened Friday evening. On the way home from going out to eat Daddy told Moma to drive. It is his van and she has never driven it. About half way home Him: turn the lights on Her: why don't they come on automatically, mine do Him: well this aint your's it's mine. Her: where is the light switch Him: on the dash OK at this point she turns a knob on the left of the steering column. This gosh awful noise comes from the back of the van I think the transmission is falling out. Then the windshield wipers on the front glass come on. I start dying laughing. Him: turn the wipers off and for God sake turn the back one off that is a $40 blade. Her: I don't know how I turned it on, where's the lights? mean while this terrible grinding is still going on in the back and it is the back windshield wiper dragging across a dry windshield. By now we are all cracked up and dying laughing. Moma is making hen sounds like she is laying eggs, Daddy is laughing and cussing enough to give a preacher goose bumps and I am laughing so hard by now tears are running down my face. Him: pull over down here, you don't know how to drive you gonna tear my van up. THE DASH THE DASH, the light switch is on the DASH. Her: OK OK and finally pulls the light switch Still the wipers are back and forth across that back windsheild. Finally she pulled over and I went around and turned them off. Yes there is never a dull moment with them.

01-16-2012, 09:22 PM	#10
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I texted a femme friend today with photos of an '04 Chevy Avalanche 4x4 . It is candy color blue, awesome mudgrips - lifted to the sky. I test drove it. Anyway, she texted me back and all she said was something to the tune of how happy she is for me because she knows I am really enjoying my day off with this truck. She then proceeded to describe how she is into a movie marathon today, etc. ... not one single comment about this beautiful truck. I sent her another text and asked her what did she think of the truck and be honest ... if she thought it was ugly and hated it, then just say it. I received a text back shortly . She said, "it's a pretty truck." I was sitting in my truck when I read her one little comment about this sensational vehicle. For a couple of minutes, all I could do was gaze out the window dumbfounded. Then it registered. LOL! Guess with all my excitment, I was a little slow. I really had a good laugh.