"Adult Only" or "Childless Weddings"

imperfect_cupcake · 09-05-2013, 10:08 AM

I'll put my hand up and say I don't understand those feelings at all. people being super sad someone can't come - totally get. I felt a lot of that. pissed off and hurt? um... no? why? I truly don't understand why anyone would be angry/hurt that a guest could not come because of cost or lack of childcare. I honestly can't wrap my head around that.

My guess is that would happened mostly with people who have money to throw at weddings and thus not understand what it's like to be dirt poor and thus don't understand why they can't pay so it must be personal?

that's all I can grasp.

Apocalipstic · 09-05-2013, 01:04 PM

On the other hand, weddings can be expensive as hell and some couples plan what makes them happy for their special day. They invite friends and family knowing full well that not everyone will be able to attend, but wanting everyone to know they are welcome of they can make it.

I don't think it's the responsibility of the couple to plan a different day based on the finances of guests. Nothing wrong with a polite rsvp no, if they can't afford to go. I myself often can't afford things and I say no. It's not personal.

Martina · 09-05-2013, 02:22 PM

I don't understand it either, but I myself have personally RSVP'd no to several weddings and gotten phone calls afterward begging me to reconsider. People expressed their disbelief that I didn't pull out all the stops and make it to their wedding.

I have had a number of friends who have had this experience too. It's no small thing saying no to a wedding. And I guess it shouldn't be. A wedding is a big deal. If you can make it, you should.

I am just saying that if you have a wedding in Hawaii, don't expect your poor Aunt Mathilda to spend every dime of her savings getting there. But I have seen that over and again.

09-05-2013, 01:04 PM	#2
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	On the other hand, weddings can be expensive as hell and some couples plan what makes them happy for their special day. They invite friends and family knowing full well that not everyone will be able to attend, but wanting everyone to know they are welcome of they can make it. I don't think it's the responsibility of the couple to plan a different day based on the finances of guests. Nothing wrong with a polite rsvp no, if they can't afford to go. I myself often can't afford things and I say no. It's not personal. __________________

09-05-2013, 10:08 AM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'll put my hand up and say I don't understand those feelings at all. people being super sad someone can't come - totally get. I felt a lot of that. pissed off and hurt? um... no? why? I truly don't understand why anyone would be angry/hurt that a guest could not come because of cost or lack of childcare. I honestly can't wrap my head around that. My guess is that would happened mostly with people who have money to throw at weddings and thus not understand what it's like to be dirt poor and thus don't understand why they can't pay so it must be personal? that's all I can grasp.

09-05-2013, 02:22 PM	#3
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,283 Times in 4,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I don't understand it either, but I myself have personally RSVP'd no to several weddings and gotten phone calls afterward begging me to reconsider. People expressed their disbelief that I didn't pull out all the stops and make it to their wedding. I have had a number of friends who have had this experience too. It's no small thing saying no to a wedding. And I guess it shouldn't be. A wedding is a big deal. If you can make it, you should. I am just saying that if you have a wedding in Hawaii, don't expect your poor Aunt Mathilda to spend every dime of her savings getting there. But I have seen that over and again.