Stone Femme?

fatallyblonde · 01-02-2014, 05:28 PM

yep, I'm a catcher not a pitcher

- ever! It couldn't do less for me to be the pitcher. There is just such a deeply intrinsic natural feeling for me to be stone femme bottom.

in my experience there are two types of stone femme - bottoms and tops and tops conduct themselves in bed much as stone butches do. my former bff is a stone femme top. I am strictly bottom.

of course in my youth I did a lot of different types of things in bed, all in the name of experimentation and finding out what I and my partner enjoyed etc. over time this has felt the most natural and satisfying to me.

I am happy to be flexible to my partner's needs... during sex I like to be able to squeeze the butt, but I can not do that if required. I can 'worship the mini cock' as lilith put it... I think the only thing that would pose a challenge to me is doing anything to the chest area but I personally haven't had a stone butch want me to! The most important thing to me really is that I am the bottom, the submissive and the catcher and not expected to do any penetration... it is such a turn off for me, I feel really unnatural doing it!

I am really sick of the attitude that stone femmes are lazy or selfish in bed too... I playfully call myself a pillow princess but the truth is I do plenty in bed... kissing, embracing, sucking off where desired and the most important and significant thing, providing my body for my partner's pleasure... and all the responsiveness I show. That is absolute participation.

And yes stone sex is definitely lesbian sex... two women having sex is lesbian sex, whatever kind of activities they are doing!

Gemme · 01-03-2014, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatallyblonde

And yes stone sex is definitely lesbian sex... two women having sex is lesbian sex, whatever kind of activities they are doing!

I was wholeheartedly with you until this.

Not all Stones id as lesbian. I don't. Many of our Stone Butches identify as lesbian and many of them do not. Some of them identify as female and/or women and some of them do not, so Stone sex is not always 'two women having sex'.

We're very lucky to have many presentations of our community here. Welcome to the discussion!

fatallyblonde · 01-03-2014, 08:00 PM

Hi Gemme... yes I am aware of that! I guess I phrased badly... I didn't mean that all stones are women... or that all stone sex is lesbian sex... but if sex is happening between two people who identify as women it is lesbian sex... which would make stone sex in that situation lesbian sex. is that more clear? sorry guys, didn't mean to erase any identities, I was just focusing on women partners involved in response to the idea expressed that stone sex couldn't be lesbian.

Chained Daisy · 06-15-2017, 12:37 PM

Its taking me some time to read this thread, so many points to take in, fascinating and thought provoking....

Contradictor · 06-16-2017, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

Okay, so I'm going to come right out and be blunt about this since I"m confused and need a straight answer about this. I apologize for any discomfort my brevity may cause, but I can assure you I am coming from a place of curiosity and not animosity.

So, a stone butch is one who does not want physical stimulation of their genitals, and a stone femme is someone who receives genital stimulation but does not stimulate their partner genitally. Is this correct?

What if there is a butch or a femme who doesn't want to give or receive stimulation?

I've been confused about this too. Much as I am not the biggest fan of labels in a lot of capacities, I am intrigued by what one would be applicable to me.

I'm femme in appearance. I wear make up and dresses (occasionally but I like to sometimes) and usually stereotypical feminine clothing.
However I'm a top in bed mostly. I don't like receiving oral and don't like being penetrated. Certain types of touch CAN excite me but at the same time they're so few and far between that I can quite easily do without being touched at all and would rather it that way. I'm good with getting my partner off and I am only attracted to butch. I'm the one who always drives, the one who arranges dates etc. I am often intrigued as to what it would be like to be taken out by a butch who is more into doing the traditional butch role... A small part of me thinks I'd like it but It's a very small part and it feels quite alien mostly. I've always done the 'date' thing by arranging, paying and being the one 'in charge of it' if you will. So I'm not a stonefemme by the above definition. I am not sure what I am. A butch in disguise? (I am being lighthearted really but at the same time I would like some input).

CherylNYC · 06-18-2017, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Contradictor

I've been confused about this too. Much as I am not the biggest fan of labels in a lot of capacities, I am intrigued by what one would be applicable to me.

I'm femme in appearance. I wear make up and dresses (occasionally but I like to sometimes) and usually stereotypical feminine clothing.
However I'm a top in bed mostly. I don't like receiving oral and don't like being penetrated. Certain types of touch CAN excite me but at the same time they're so few and far between that I can quite easily do without being touched at all and would rather it that way. I'm good with getting my partner off and I am only attracted to butch. I'm the one who always drives, the one who arranges dates etc. I am often intrigued as to what it would be like to be taken out by a butch who is more into doing the traditional butch role... A small part of me thinks I'd like it but It's a very small part and it feels quite alien mostly. I've always done the 'date' thing by arranging, paying and being the one 'in charge of it' if you will. So I'm not a stonefemme by the above definition. I am not sure what I am. A butch in disguise? (I am being lighthearted really but at the same time I would like some input).

Yeah, no. Being in charge doesn't equal butch. I understand that you're kind of joking, and I'm trying not to tear my hair out because it upsets me that so many people really do buy into this cultural stereotype.

You describe yourself as femme, and as a top. That means you're a femme top. You aren't interested in being penetrated, and you're reluctant to receive touch. Yes, many people would call you stone. Femme Stone Top. Or a Stone Femme. Yes, it's confusing. I continue to advocate for a change in nomenclature.

I know other women like you. I believe there are some who have or do frequent this site.

girl_dee · 06-19-2017, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Contradictor

I've been confused about this too. Much as I am not the biggest fan of labels in a lot of capacities, I am intrigued by what one would be applicable to me.

I'm femme in appearance. I wear make up and dresses (occasionally but I like to sometimes) and usually stereotypical feminine clothing.
However I'm a top in bed mostly. I don't like receiving oral and don't like being penetrated. Certain types of touch CAN excite me but at the same time they're so few and far between that I can quite easily do without being touched at all and would rather it that way. I'm good with getting my partner off and I am only attracted to butch. I'm the one who always drives, the one who arranges dates etc. I am often intrigued as to what it would be like to be taken out by a butch who is more into doing the traditional butch role... A small part of me thinks I'd like it but It's a very small part and it feels quite alien mostly. I've always done the 'date' thing by arranging, paying and being the one 'in charge of it' if you will. So I'm not a stonefemme by the above definition. I am not sure what I am. A butch in disguise? (I am being lighthearted really but at the same time I would like some input).

I could have written most of this but the "traditional butch role" is by your defenition only. I have been "in charge" in relationships, in bed and otherwise, i don't like receiving oral sex, but not once, even for a second, have i felt butch or stone.

My issue is i am.stubborn and don't like being vulnerable so i "take charge". However when it is safe i totally enjoy being spoiled and being swept off my feet, by a butch.

Maybe you could find one to let you enjoy it too.

Contradictor · 08-28-2017, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

Yeah, no. Being in charge doesn't equal butch. I understand that you're kind of joking, and I'm trying not to tear my hair out because it upsets me that so many people really do buy into this cultural stereotype.

You describe yourself as femme, and as a top. That means you're a femme top. You aren't interested in being penetrated, and you're reluctant to receive touch. Yes, many people would call you stone. Femme Stone Top. Or a Stone Femme. Yes, it's confusing. I continue to advocate for a change in nomenclature.

I know other women like you. I believe there are some who have or do frequent this site.

Thank you for the reply Cheryl, let me apologise for being 'one of those' it wasn't intentional. It isn't so much that I buy into stereotypes, in fact I too have been annoyed by them when people make assumptions about me. (Admittedly usually cis males but not always), more that I have been influenced by them and been questioning which one I would or would not be and I felt like I was an outsider ( I must clarify it wasn't somethng that kept me awake at night so to speak).

I am happy to adopt the stone femme label, I know labels can be very damaging but they can be useful when used correctly and I was feeling a bit bewildered. I think with me personally too, I have only just began to question things and only just become au fait with the internet. So it's a bit of a new world even though in 'real life' I've never had an issue with things. It's natural curiosity I gues.

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

I could have written most of this but the "traditional butch role" is by your defenition only. I have been "in charge" in relationships, in bed and otherwise, i don't like receiving oral sex, but not once, even for a second, have i felt butch or stone.

My issue is i am.stubborn and don't like being vulnerable so i "take charge". However when it is safe i totally enjoy being spoiled and being swept off my feet, by a butch.

Maybe you could find one to let you enjoy it too.

Yes, I have had that definition as an amalgamation as what I've read (not on here I must add)!

We do sound similar although I do feel 'butch' in some ways, and although in (very) small situations I've melted a little when a butch has done something for me or to me, I generally do not like it. I'm in a long term relationship with a butch, but we fell into our way of working very quickly although she does struggle a little with some things I do or don't do.

01-03-2014, 08:00 PM	#3
fatallyblonde Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: earth Posts: 446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 389 Thanked 770 Times in 181 Posts Rep Power: 7054721	Hi Gemme... yes I am aware of that! I guess I phrased badly... I didn't mean that all stones are women... or that all stone sex is lesbian sex... but if sex is happening between two people who identify as women it is lesbian sex... which would make stone sex in that situation lesbian sex. is that more clear? sorry guys, didn't mean to erase any identities, I was just focusing on women partners involved in response to the idea expressed that stone sex couldn't be lesbian. Last edited by fatallyblonde; 01-03-2014 at 08:06 PM. Reason: adding a sentence

06-15-2017, 12:37 PM	#4
Chained Daisy Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: May 2017 Location: Usually underneath a cat Posts: 827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,673 Thanked 1,811 Times in 531 Posts Rep Power: 21474845	Its taking me some time to read this thread, so many points to take in, fascinating and thought provoking.... __________________ Formerly known as Daisy Chain I am half agony, half hope, Jane Austen

01-02-2014, 05:28 PM	#1
fatallyblonde Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: earth Posts: 446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 389 Thanked 770 Times in 181 Posts Rep Power: 7054721	yep, I'm a catcher not a pitcher - ever! It couldn't do less for me to be the pitcher. There is just such a deeply intrinsic natural feeling for me to be stone femme bottom. in my experience there are two types of stone femme - bottoms and tops and tops conduct themselves in bed much as stone butches do. my former bff is a stone femme top. I am strictly bottom. of course in my youth I did a lot of different types of things in bed, all in the name of experimentation and finding out what I and my partner enjoyed etc. over time this has felt the most natural and satisfying to me. I am happy to be flexible to my partner's needs... during sex I like to be able to squeeze the butt, but I can not do that if required. I can 'worship the mini cock' as lilith put it... I think the only thing that would pose a challenge to me is doing anything to the chest area but I personally haven't had a stone butch want me to! The most important thing to me really is that I am the bottom, the submissive and the catcher and not expected to do any penetration... it is such a turn off for me, I feel really unnatural doing it! I am really sick of the attitude that stone femmes are lazy or selfish in bed too... I playfully call myself a pillow princess but the truth is I do plenty in bed... kissing, embracing, sucking off where desired and the most important and significant thing, providing my body for my partner's pleasure... and all the responsiveness I show. That is absolute participation. And yes stone sex is definitely lesbian sex... two women having sex is lesbian sex, whatever kind of activities they are doing!