Butches and bindings and breasts, oh my

[silkepus]

Hm, interesting. I'm probably not the best to answer this, but personally I like breast -a lot!-

I dont care as much about how they are contained or not, binded, in a bra, running wild and free- I think they're great!

[Julie]

I love breasts!
If *allowed* I would play with them, taunt them, bite them and make them bleed.
Truly I would.
But, this is not my partner's pleasure... So, it is my breasts that are taunted.
Lucky ME!

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am a fan of....., I like it all, so with that said, once I am clear on what the boundaries are, game on!

[Redsunflower]

Originally Posted by silkepus

Hm, interesting. I'm probably not the best to answer this, but personally I like breast -a lot!-

I dont care as much about how they are contained or not, binded, in a bra, running wild and free- I think they're great!

Thanks for this Silkepus, I think the thing about binding vests is that they make breasts almost disappear. So kind of different to a sports bra or something. Hmmm. How do you like your partner's breasts to be dressed?! :-)

Originally Posted by Julie

I love breasts!
If *allowed* I would play with them, taunt them, bite them and make them bleed.
Truly I would.
But, this is not my partner's pleasure... So, it is my breasts that are taunted.
Lucky ME!

Thanks Julie, yes, lucky you indeed! Do you not mind that your partner doesn't want you touching? I wonder how much this matters, one thing amidst all the loads of stuff we all get up to. Hmm, just trying to figure it all out. :-)

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I am a fan of....., I like it all, so with that said, once I am clear on what the boundaries are, game on!

Yep, the boundaries, all important, what's ok and what's not. Think it's better to find that out before anything happens, or feel your way as you go (so to speak!)? Thanks for this. :-)

I was also thinking about how we do things to please our partner, we all do, whether it turns us on or not doesn't matter 'cos we want them to feel good.

I have touched a fair amount of breasts in my time. The thing is, if I never did again, then that would be fine.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Redsunflower

Thanks Julie, yes, lucky you indeed! Do you not mind that your partner doesn't want you touching? I wonder how much this matters, one thing amidst all the loads of stuff we all get up to. Hmm, just trying to figure it all out. :-)

No I do not mind at all. If my partner is uncomfortable or does not enjoy me touching hys breasts, than I don't want to. I want to do what pleases hym, not what is going to displease hym. What would be the pleasure in that for me?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Redsunflower

Yep, the boundaries, all important, what's ok and what's not. Think it's better to find that out before anything happens, or feel your way as you go (so to speak!)? Thanks for this. :-)

I was also thinking about how we do things to please our partner, we all do, whether it turns us on or not doesn't matter 'cos we want them to feel good.

I have touched a fair amount of breasts in my time. The thing is, if I never did again, then that would be fine.

I find it best to talk about what people like before jumping into an awkward situation, that's if there is time to talk, sometimes you meet and no talking is done so it's important to be in tune to what is happening around you and pay attention to body language and soft no's. Talking while exploring is good, there is nothing wrong with asking what feels good and what doesn't..

I have not done anything I have not wanted to do I am not fond of unconsensual anything.


Here's the thing about stuff like this, if you don't like breasts, then don't get with someone who likes their breasts touched, I say this because as adults we should be talking, A LOT, cause when we talk (even if it's a quick fuck you can talk) we find out what people are like, what they like, what they want, what they desire. If they express a desire you are not into, walk away, or be honest and say well I am not into that so maybe it's best we not even fuck or go any further mentally. I think this will be an GREAT discussion to have with each other, not only because it will help us explore our desires, but it will maybe help and teach us to be more verbal and not just do things cause we think we have to, to keep a fuck or relationship around, thanks for starting it off Red!

Great discussion

[*Anya*]

I absolutely love, love, everything about breasts-nipples in particular.

My love,

loves mine in every way

but not her own.

Hers are unbound and off limits, not in a "don't you dare touch" but in a "it does not turn me on, I would rather ignore them" kind of way.

Out of respect and love,

I do.

[Deborah*]

Originally Posted by silkepus

Hm, interesting. I'm probably not the best to answer this, but personally I like breast -a lot!-

I dont care as much about how they are contained or not, binded, in a bra, running wild and free- I think they're great!

I have no problem with a butches breasts. The fact is, I'm attracted to that person.. it isn't like I thought hmmm.. breasts I don't want you. I like butches who bind and those who have big breasts.. medium breasts.. small breasts. It's the whole package of who a person is on the inside & outside that does it for me.

Of all the butches I've ever dated, the one I wish I still knew was..
Janna W., a butch intellectual. She had a flat top hairstyle, when I met her (it was instant attraction for both of us), she had her large breasts bound. On our first date, she was wearing a pale pink long sleeved shirt and jeans and had big breasts.

Her breasts were no big deal to me... I just knew she was hot, hot. Very scholarly, assertive, and honestly hot. A very butch woman.

Unfortunately, our relationship ended when she moved far away to the east coast under a prestigious academic program.

Deborah

[Femminator]

I am sharing my story because that whole "top surgery is mutilation" thing really set my teeth on edge.

Yes I like Butch breasts, but I am not a breast woman and have always liked Butches who are smaller busted and have not minded if they bind.

I fell in love and was blessed to have married the Butch of my dreams. We have been together over 13 years now. They have never been thrilled with their breasts, but pretty much ignored them. However, I began to notice that they were becoming more and more dysphoric about their breasts, and so it was not a shock that they came to me one day and said they had some figuring out to do about their gender presentation.(my exact words were 'well, go figure it out and let me know, I'm not going anywhere') and so for the last few years we have been on a journey as a couple through therapy and them determining who they are and how they want to present.

We have been binding for over a year and they have gotten more dysphoric with their binder off, as time has gone on to the point they are actually anxious about it. I seriously have a love/hate relationship with those damn binders, they are anxious without it, and miserable and hot with them on under layers of clothing in an effort to hide their breasts. Finally I lost it this Fall and said "Look, take some of our savings, and get top surgery, I can't stand watching you be miserable any longer." So, that is what we are doing. After the initial consult and set up of the appointment, the change that has overcome my Butch is amazing. They are more loving, sexual and assured that their pain will be soon ending. That steps to make the outside match how they feel on the inside are happening.

We ALL change how we look to be who we see ourselves as. Femmes wear makeup, people gauge their ears, people reduce or increase their breasts, they get tummy tucks and rhinoplastys. They shoot Botulism into their faces to get rid of wrinkles, and they inject collegen into lips and cheeks to make them full and plush. People who talk about top surgery as mutilation, that is a very myoptic view of something that is being done for emotional and mental well being, not just to look better for what society perceives as 'pretty' or 'sexy'. If anything it is MORE important than all that.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Femminator

I am sharing my story because that whole "top surgery is mutilation" thing really set my teeth on edge.

Yes I like Butch breasts, but I am not a breast woman and have always liked Butches who are smaller busted and have not minded if they bind.

I fell in love and was blessed to have married the Butch of my dreams. We have been together over 13 years now. They have never been thrilled with their breasts, but pretty much ignored them. However, I began to notice that they were becoming more and more dysphoric about their breasts, and so it was not a shock that they came to me one day and said they had some figuring out to do about their gender presentation.(my exact words were 'well, go figure it out and let me know, I'm not going anywhere') and so for the last few years we have been on a journey as a couple through therapy and them determining who they are and how they want to present.

We have been binding for over a year and they have gotten more dysphoric with their binder off, as time has gone on to the point they are actually anxious about it. I seriously have a love/hate relationship with those damn binders, they are anxious without it, and miserable and hot with them on under layers of clothing in an effort to hide their breasts. Finally I lost it this Fall and said "Look, take some of our savings, and get top surgery, I can't stand watching you be miserable any longer." So, that is what we are doing. After the initial consult and set up of the appointment, the change that has overcome my Butch is amazing. They are more loving, sexual and assured that their pain will be soon ending. That steps to make the outside match how they feel on the inside are happening.

We ALL change how we look to be who we see ourselves as. Femmes wear makeup, people gauge their ears, people reduce or increase their breasts, they get tummy tucks and rhinoplastys. They shoot Botulism into their faces to get rid of wrinkles, and they inject collegen into lips and cheeks to make them full and plush. People who talk about top surgery as mutilation, that is a very myoptic view of something that is being done for emotional and mental well being, not just to look better for what society perceives as 'pretty' or 'sexy'. If anything it is MORE important than all that.

Just a FYI, if your partner's insurance does not have trans health benefits, they do have the option to fight for coverage for this surgery. Michigan is a state that does not allow private insurance or Medicaid to EXCLUDE trans health care in their benefits.

https://transequality.org/issues/res...nsurance-rules

[Femminator]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Just a FYI, if your partner's insurance does not have trans health benefits, they do have the option to fight for coverage for this surgery. Michigan is a state that does not allow private insurance or Medicaid to EXCLUDE trans health care in their benefits.

https://transequality.org/issues/res...nsurance-rules

Thank you. We simply had a terrible time finding a good top surgeon who takes insurance near us. By the time we travel out of state, to find a Doc who takes insurance, we will have to stay a week to get a recheck, so the cost of hotels, travel and food.. etc and so on...it is actually just cheaper for us to pay up front. Wish we loved somewhere that had more options nearby.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Femminator

Thank you. We simply had a terrible time finding a good top surgeon who takes insurance near us. By the time we travel out of state, to find a Doc who takes insurance, we will have to stay a week to get a recheck, so the cost of hotels, travel and food.. etc and so on...it is actually just cheaper for us to pay up front. Wish we loved somewhere that had more options nearby.

Yes, unfortunately, a lot of the good top surgeons don't take insurance. Good luck to your partner. They are lucky to have you.

[cathexis]

Originally Posted by Femminator

Thank you. We simply had a terrible time finding a good top surgeon who takes insurance near us. By the time we travel out of state, to find a Doc who takes insurance, we will have to stay a week to get a recheck, so the cost of hotels, travel and food.. etc and so on...it is actually just cheaper for us to pay up front. Wish we loved somewhere that had more options nearby.

Know how you feel about going an out of state surgeon. I've gone to VT round trip once now I have another appointment for a follow-up (why I don't know why whatever couldn't have been done the first visit), then the top surgery and immediate post-op follow up. How long will that last? I am a SICU RN, and know how to pull a drain. I just won't know at what point he will want it pulled. Can't really afford to spend a week at a motel or hostel (if I can find one).

Wonder how many office visits before the surgery. It costs me $100 a pop for each trip, and the driver is iffy. Like I have an appt. at the end of the month, and she still hasn't given me an answer as to whether or not she can take me. It's 2 hrs. away so I can't just get a ride at the drop of a hat. Not only do I have to worry about the appt. but how I'm going to get there. and what's going to happen after surgery. I have 2 cats to worry about, too. My Partner won't just leave me in Burlington, and go back home to care for the cats. I know Her.

Dapper, what usually happens from this point? Do I have the surgery on the appt. after this one? How long will I need to hang around Burlington? It takes how long until the drains come out...the sutures? How much pain should I be in? Do I need pain meds.? I'm a little scared right now. Please! Oh, and by the way you were right about GQ, just not talking about it with anyone, yet.
cathexis

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by cathexis

Know how you feel about going an out of state surgeon. I've gone to VT round trip once now I have another appointment for a follow-up (why I don't know why whatever couldn't have been done the first visit), then the top surgery and immediate post-op follow up. How long will that last? I am a SICU RN, and know how to pull a drain. I just won't know at what point he will want it pulled. Can't really afford to spend a week at a motel or hostel (if I can find one).

Wonder how many office visits before the surgery. It costs me $100 a pop for each trip, and the driver is iffy. Like I have an appt. at the end of the month, and she still hasn't given me an answer as to whether or not she can take me. It's 2 hrs. away so I can't just get a ride at the drop of a hat. Not only do I have to worry about the appt. but how I'm going to get there. and what's going to happen after surgery. I have 2 cats to worry about, too. My Partner won't just leave me in Burlington, and go back home to care for the cats. I know Her.

Dapper, what usually happens from this point? Do I have the surgery on the appt. after this one? How long will I need to hang around Burlington? It takes how long until the drains come out...the sutures? How much pain should I be in? Do I need pain meds.? I'm a little scared right now. Please! Oh, and by the way you were right about GQ, just not talking about it with anyone, yet.
cathexis

Hey, Bud. I don't know if your surgeon will schedule your surgery after this appointment.
I have never heard of a surgeon asking for a second appointment, so I have no idea. We have already talked about this guy, though. You know my concerns.

I was right about GQ? What does GQ mean?

The surgeon may not use drains. If they do, yes they pull them at 7 days post op. Most surgeons expect people to stay in the area for a week. However, if you are only two hours away, maybe you can just stay one night and then go home the day after. Then just travel back for the post op appt. I strongly recommend you stay at least one night.

You can see if you can get this surgeon to let your PCP pull your drains, but I can't imagine a surgeon being ok with not having any post op appointments.

They use dissolvable sutures.

Some people have a lot of pain, some don't. I do not have a high pain tolerance (when looking at other surgeries), yet I only took pain meds for the first few days (don't remember how many days, exactly), and then went to Tylenol. I assume your surgeon will prescribe you pain meds.