Butches and bindings and breasts, oh my

[Redsunflower]

Hello my fabulous femme sisters.

I was wondering if you could help me out with something; I would really love to hear a few femme opinions on this. If you want to pull up a chair and grab a glass of wine, all the better.

I've been pondering sex (like you do when you're not getting any) and having a think about what's been good and what I might want more of in my next relationship.

As a result, I've started to acknowledge a few things about my own preferences such as:

• I've never been turned on by my partner's breasts
• I'm never motivated to touch them
• Mostly I'm pretty good at ignoring my partner's breasts completely
• Unless they're in a binding vest and suddenly I'm all over them
• I still need my partner's body to be female even if they ID as male

So, what I would like to ask you all is:

• How do you feel about your partner's breasts?
• Are they a turn on or not?
• Do you want to touch them? Ignore them? Play with them?
• Do binding vests turn you on?
• If your partner had top surgery, would they become more or less attractive to you?

This is not a discussion about different definitions of stone or transitioning or anything like that, although that's all very important and well covered elsewhere on here. I'm really just wondering what you make of your partner's boobs.

*Just to be clear, my breasts require a dive-esque starring role in any goings on. That's how it is and always will be.*

Thanks in advance to anyone who can help me out in thinking about this. You're all great!

[silkepus]

Hm, interesting. I'm probably not the best to answer this, but personally I like breast -a lot!-

I dont care as much about how they are contained or not, binded, in a bra, running wild and free- I think they're great!

[Julie]

I love breasts!
If *allowed* I would play with them, taunt them, bite them and make them bleed.
Truly I would.
But, this is not my partner's pleasure... So, it is my breasts that are taunted.
Lucky ME!

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am a fan of....., I like it all, so with that said, once I am clear on what the boundaries are, game on!

[tantalizingfemme]

[*]How do you feel about your partner's breasts? My partner has had top surgery, but before the surgery I didn't feel any way about his breasts, they were just there.

[*]Are they a turn on or not? Not a turn on

[*]Do you want to touch them? Ignore them? Play with them? I didn't ignore them, they just didn't exist as breasts. Even if I saw them they I made no mental connection that they were breasts. Sounds strange I know, but it's the truth.

[*]Do binding vests turn you on? Nope just another piece of clothing like socks. (which don't turn me on)

[*]If your partner had top surgery, would they become more or less attractive to you? The chest being flat is physically attractive to me but what really is the turn on how he finally feels happy with his body. That extra self confidence (because we all know he wasn't lacking any to begin with ) is pretty hot.

[Redsunflower]

Originally Posted by silkepus

Hm, interesting. I'm probably not the best to answer this, but personally I like breast -a lot!-

I dont care as much about how they are contained or not, binded, in a bra, running wild and free- I think they're great!

Thanks for this Silkepus, I think the thing about binding vests is that they make breasts almost disappear. So kind of different to a sports bra or something. Hmmm. How do you like your partner's breasts to be dressed?! :-)

Originally Posted by Julie

I love breasts!
If *allowed* I would play with them, taunt them, bite them and make them bleed.
Truly I would.
But, this is not my partner's pleasure... So, it is my breasts that are taunted.
Lucky ME!

Thanks Julie, yes, lucky you indeed! Do you not mind that your partner doesn't want you touching? I wonder how much this matters, one thing amidst all the loads of stuff we all get up to. Hmm, just trying to figure it all out. :-)

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I am a fan of....., I like it all, so with that said, once I am clear on what the boundaries are, game on!

Yep, the boundaries, all important, what's ok and what's not. Think it's better to find that out before anything happens, or feel your way as you go (so to speak!)? Thanks for this. :-)

I was also thinking about how we do things to please our partner, we all do, whether it turns us on or not doesn't matter 'cos we want them to feel good.

I have touched a fair amount of breasts in my time. The thing is, if I never did again, then that would be fine.

[*Anya*]

I absolutely love, love, everything about breasts-nipples in particular.

My love,

loves mine in every way

but not her own.

Hers are unbound and off limits, not in a "don't you dare touch" but in a "it does not turn me on, I would rather ignore them" kind of way.

Out of respect and love,

I do.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Redsunflower

Thanks Julie, yes, lucky you indeed! Do you not mind that your partner doesn't want you touching? I wonder how much this matters, one thing amidst all the loads of stuff we all get up to. Hmm, just trying to figure it all out. :-)

No I do not mind at all. If my partner is uncomfortable or does not enjoy me touching hys breasts, than I don't want to. I want to do what pleases hym, not what is going to displease hym. What would be the pleasure in that for me?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Redsunflower

Yep, the boundaries, all important, what's ok and what's not. Think it's better to find that out before anything happens, or feel your way as you go (so to speak!)? Thanks for this. :-)

I was also thinking about how we do things to please our partner, we all do, whether it turns us on or not doesn't matter 'cos we want them to feel good.

I have touched a fair amount of breasts in my time. The thing is, if I never did again, then that would be fine.

I find it best to talk about what people like before jumping into an awkward situation, that's if there is time to talk, sometimes you meet and no talking is done so it's important to be in tune to what is happening around you and pay attention to body language and soft no's. Talking while exploring is good, there is nothing wrong with asking what feels good and what doesn't..

I have not done anything I have not wanted to do I am not fond of unconsensual anything.


Here's the thing about stuff like this, if you don't like breasts, then don't get with someone who likes their breasts touched, I say this because as adults we should be talking, A LOT, cause when we talk (even if it's a quick fuck you can talk) we find out what people are like, what they like, what they want, what they desire. If they express a desire you are not into, walk away, or be honest and say well I am not into that so maybe it's best we not even fuck or go any further mentally. I think this will be an GREAT discussion to have with each other, not only because it will help us explore our desires, but it will maybe help and teach us to be more verbal and not just do things cause we think we have to, to keep a fuck or relationship around, thanks for starting it off Red!

Great discussion

[Redsunflower]

Originally Posted by tantalizingfemme

[*]How do you feel about your partner's breasts? My partner has had top surgery, but before the surgery I didn't feel any way about his breasts, they were just there.

I can relate to this, a lot. They just exist but have no special significance. *nods*

[*]Are they a turn on or not? Not a turn on

Yup.

[*]Do you want to touch them? Ignore them? Play with them? I didn't ignore them, they just didn't exist. Even if I saw them they I made no mental connection that they were breasts. Sounds strange I know, but it's the truth.

Nope, not strange to me, but you're making me think about the difference between ignoring and just not acknowledging them. Hmmm, need to give that some more thought.

[*]Do binding vests turn you on? Nope just another piece of clothing like socks. (which don't turn me on)

Haha! I loved it! Have NO idea why!

[*]If your partner had top surgery, would they become more or less attractive to you? The chest being flat is physically attractive to me but what really is the turn on how he finally feels happy with his body. That extra self confidence (because we all know he wasn't lacking any to begin with ) is pretty hot.

That is the sweetest thing, feeling good in your own body is so important for all of us.

Thank you so much for this tantalizingfemme! Your response has been a massive help to me in many ways.

I'm going to keep mulling this over...

[CherylNYC]

I wasn't always a stonefemme. It sort of... came over me. I formerly liked touching my partner's breasts well enough, but they were never a huge fireworks event for me. I'm no longer comfortable playing with my partner's breasts, so I don't. I make that clear right up front now.

I'm a lesbian and a sculptor. I love women in all their forms, and I love to look at a woman's body at least as much as the next dyke, so I do not prefer a surgically flattened chest. I really enjoy the look of a butch in a sports bra, or none at all. A butch in a binder is ok, but they always look so… uncomfortable!

That said, I'm profoundly sexually submissive. I find that I'm comically shy about looking at my top's body when we're first getting to know each other. Perhaps I'm responding to their almost universal preference to remain at least partially clothed once things get intimate? For whatever reason, I'm very careful to not stare at my partner/top now.

[~baby~doll~]

i enjoy even love and adore breasts. i fantasize about nipples and clamps and such. i like to cuddle, coddle, kiss, lick and suckle them. i am with a femme partner. i have been with butches and treat their breasts as they prefer. i still like them under any circumstances.

[fatallyblonde]

I'm not turned on by breasts and have no desire to touch them or otherwise play with them... it makes me uncomfortable like I don't know what I'm doing and am doing the wrong thing... lol... I don't mind if they are out or whatever, they certainly don't repulse me (and I'm be concerned about myself if they did), but I guess it makes me feel weird and like positions are reversed in a way that fucks with my head if I'm asked to touch/kiss/suck/whatever. I guess, to ME, it feels a bit too dominating or feminising my partner. I would never expect my partner to give up something she likes for my sake but most of the time I end up in bed with people where the boundaries have been made clear. And if I were unsure, I would initiate conversation.
What my partner does with her body is her business, I would be mortified if I were so shallow or selfish that my partner were to become less attractive to me if she did something with HER* body that SHE wanted to do. As someone else said in the thread, confidence is attractive and my partner feeling good about herself and being able to communicate her desires is the most attractive thing of all.

*or other pronouns as individual directs

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Breasts are beautiful and sexy! With that being said, I am in agreement with it depending on my partner. I am very much a pleaser and that is what turns me on above anything else. Respecting boundaries is at the very top of the list.


Great Topic!

[candy_coated_bitch]

I think Butch breasts are really, really hot and sexy. I also really love breasts in general and find myself mesmerized by Femme breasts as well, though I am not really sexually attracted to them. Kind of more of an appreciation kind of thing.

I have been partnered with more FTMs than Butch women, so I am used to flat chests and find them very sexy as well.

I don't have a one size fits all kind of thing going when it comes to attraction and what I find turns me on with my partners' bodies. (Which is not to say there is anything wrong with having strong and particular preferences.)

Boundaries and are really important and doing something to a person they don't like just is not sexy. I have had folks on the transmasculine spectrum let me touch and fondle their chests prior to top surgeries and I found it freaking HAWT and have been with folks who either already had top surgery or wanted that area ignored and that was fine as well.

Short answer: I love it all and nothing is really a deal breaker for me!

[Gemme]

My partner doesn't have breasts in the way that we usually define them. He has a chest. That said, I've never been a breast person though, like CCB said, I appreciate them. My appreciation isn't sexual really. More like a fascination. Given that boy and butch breasts aren't a major turn on for me, they have not been a huge factor in choosing my partners. In fact, the less they think about theirs breasts and chests, the happier I am. That gives me more time to devote to other body parts that do turn me on.

[Bèsame*]

What ever the desires and/or boundaries I really enjoy wiggling on skin on skin contact.

[Redsunflower]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has posted.

I love your comments, so interesting and so honest, I'll be back to respond when I've had some sleep, it's been the longest, busiest day ever.

Thank you all.

Rxx

[vagina]

How do you feel about your partner's breasts?

I love 'em. I want to suck on them for hours. Sometimes I have been allowed to suck on them for hours... lets just say it makes me tingle down there!

Are they a turn on or not?

Huge turn on. I used to like small breasts and after being with someone with Double D's I am now a HUGE fan of C and D cups

Do you want to touch them? Ignore them? Play with them?

The more I ignore them, the more I want to play with them.

Do binding vests turn you on?

No, they are a turn off for two reasons: 1) the butch is causing damage to own body with all that compression on rib cage. 2) I can no longer tell if that's a butch or a man.

If your partner had top surgery, would they become more or less attractive to you?

I would never stay with someone if they mutilated their breasts.

[C0LLETTE]

well, this should prove interesting.