Sonoma County CA Separates Elderly Gay Couple & Sells All Their Possessions

[Apocalipstic]

So none of the paperwork we have will work I guess. Wills, powers of attourney, hippa forms, all for nothing.

This is so very sad and telling.

If California acts like this, then those of us in way more conservative states are screwed for sure.

[christie]

And yet, we are supposed to be all happy that the current administration is making a rule that we can visit one another in the hospital.

While that is important,it feels, to me, like its really just "throwing us a bone" so that the bigger issue of equality isn't dealt with...

[Julien]

This is such an outrageous situation. Reading it made me sad for the couple and angry at the Sonoma County people who ruined two lives. Everything Sonoma County did was way out of line. Where is the compassion?

[Soon]

I can't stop thinking about this story...been sad all morning.

I keep thinking it's unreal...how could this happen?

ugh. so pissed about it.
heartbreaking.

[Rufusboi]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So none of the paperwork we have will work I guess. Wills, powers of attourney, hippa forms, all for nothing.

This is so very sad and telling.

If California acts like this, then those of us in way more conservative states are screwed for sure.

Very Very scary. Melissa is a Brit citizen and we often joke about moving there later in life - national health and civil partnerships. Maybe we shouldn't joke. Maybe this is actually a viable alternative for us. We have all those docs too but what's the point if the county can come in and take over and take everything.

[suebee]

My partner's response when I read this to her was "I wonder if Clay will get a call from President Obama?"

[Andrew, Jr.]

Humans acting like donkeys.

[Deborah]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Humans acting like donkeys.

What an insult to donkeys...

[PearlsNLace]

A friend shared this link with me, and it helped with my frustrated feeling that there was nothing I could do about this situation.

Well, actually, there is a little something here we can do. This is what I have done, and you can do it to:

http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/...paign_KEY=2441


Just thought Id share.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by PearlsNLace

A friend shared this link with me, and it helped with my frustrated feeling that there was nothing I could do about this situation.

Well, actually, there is a little something here we can do. This is what I have done, and you can do it to:

http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/...paign_KEY=2441


Just thought Id share.

signed and shared, thank you.

[cinderella]

Signed and shared.

Originally Posted by PearlsNLace

A friend shared this link with me, and it helped with my frustrated feeling that there was nothing I could do about this situation.

Well, actually, there is a little something here we can do. This is what I have done, and you can do it to:

http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/...paign_KEY=2441


Just thought Id share.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So none of the paperwork we have will work I guess. Wills, powers of attourney, hippa forms, all for nothing.

This is so very sad and telling.

If California acts like this, then those of us in way more conservative states are screwed for sure.

Don't believe that your paperwork is worthless. For every case like this there are hundreds/thousands of couples nationwide who have no problems at all.

I am not surprised to see this happen in California. After all, look what happened with Prop 8.

I don't know what is going on out there...complacency by the LGBTQ Community? Apathy? Laziness? Whatever it is, the LGBTQ Community in the US needs to set aside their differences, band together and stand up like they did back in the 70s.

This attitude isn't only in California. We have it here in NC too. But the fact that it seems to be surfacing out west is scary. I cannot speak for any other area but here in NC it seems that the younger LGBTQ generation is ignorant of their history and takes what few rights we have for the moment for granted.

We must educate the generations following us.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

Don't believe that your paperwork is worthless. For every case like this there are hundreds/thousands of couples nationwide who have no problems at all.

I am not surprised to see this happen in California. After all, look what happened with Prop 8.

I don't know what is going on out there...complacency by the LGBTQ Community? Apathy? Laziness? Whatever it is, the LGBTQ Community in the US needs to set aside their differences, band together and stand up like they did back in the 70s.

This attitude isn't only in California. We have it here in NC too. But the fact that it seems to be surfacing out west is scary. I cannot speak for any other area but here in NC it seems that the younger LGBTQ generation is ignorant of their history and takes what few rights we have for the moment for granted.

We must educate the generations following us.

This is exactly the kind of thing I am frightened of, and I have more paper work than the SCOTUS would need. Legally Married? Check. Living Trust? Check. Advanced Directive? Check. Durable Power of Attorney? Check.

Do NOT let this story keep you from making informed decisions or completing the correct legal paperwork. Let it be a lesson. Give copies of your wishes to your loudest, most vocal loved ones.

The people that will cut a bitch for you if you can't do it yourself.

But do NOT shrug your shoulders and decide WTF why should I bother?

[Strappie]

This story.. actually made me cry. How shameful. I sent this off to my family.

I told them I hope that this will not happen to me or anyone else.

This has to end!

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

This is exactly the kind of thing I am frightened of, and I have more paper work than the SCOTUS would need. Legally Married? Check. Living Trust? Check. Advanced Directive? Check. Durable Power of Attorney? Check.

Do NOT let this story keep you from making informed decisions or completing the correct legal paperwork. Let it be a lesson. Give copies of your wishes to your loudest, most vocal loved ones.

The people that will cut a bitch for you if you can't do it yourself.

But do NOT shrug your shoulders and decide WTF why should I bother?

Originally Posted by Strappie

This story.. actually made me cry. How shameful. I sent this off to my family.

I told them I hope that this will not happen to me or anyone else.

This has to end!

By all means make certain that you let as many people as possible know your wishes. And know the wishes of your loved ones.

This is not just an LGBTQ issue. What happened to this couple can happen to straight couples too. Click on the link - the story has an audio clip from Barbara Coombs Lee that is worth listening too.

From NPR:

Obama Pushes Hospitals To Honor Patients' Choices

By Scott Hensley
April 16, 2010

By ordering hospitals that take Medicare or Medicaid money to allow patients to be visited and helped by whomever they want, President Obama was taking a shot at those that have resisted the wishes often recorded in advance directives.

The presidential memo specifically notes the challenges for gay and lesbian people whose partners have sometimes been unable to act as legal surrogates.

Many hospitals already have broadened the categories of people permitted to visit or aid a hospitalized person. And some states, including North Carolina, have patient bills of rights that give the hospitalized person the power to say who's OK to visit.

But there's also been some backsliding on advance directives, too. Barbara Coombs Lee, president of Compassion & Choices, a patient advocacy group, talked with NPR's Julie Rovner about problems in some states, such as Idaho, where conscience provisions allow health workers who disagree with a patients' treatment choices to ignore them. (Emphasis mine)

Similarly, late last year the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops made the use of feeding tubes for patients nearing the end of their lives more likely, even when people had specified beforehand that they didn't want them.
(Emphasis mine again)

Dr. Jason Schneider, former president of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, told NPR's Ari Shapiro that unless a hospital has a formal policy allowing same-sex visitations, gay couples can run into trouble. Same goes when it comes to who can be a surrogate decision maker for an incapacitated person.

The president's order will take time to implement in federal regulations. But advocates hailed the decision. Some say the New York Times' reporting on the case of a same-sex couple in Florida helped push things along. Despite having power of attorney, a woman was unable to see her partner before she died of an aneurysm in 2007.

Similarly, late last year the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops made the use of feeding tubes for patients nearing the end of their lives more likely, even when people had specified beforehand that they didn't want them.

Dr. Jason Schneider, former president of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, told NPR's Ari Shapiro that unless a hospital has a formal policy allowing same-sex visitations, gay couples can run into trouble. Same goes when it comes to who can be a surrogate decision maker for an incapacitated person.

The president's order will take time to implement in federal regulations. But advocates hailed the decision. Some say the New York Times' reporting on the case of a same-sex couple in Florida helped push things along. Despite having power of attorney, a woman was unable to see her partner before she died of an aneurysm in 2007.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2010..._ordering.html

[SassyLeo]

A couple of years ago, my father was admitted to the ER in the BAY AREA of CA. Every time a new person would enter his hospital room, his partner would get the "20 questions" and my dad, all doped up on pain meds would have to try to explain to them whom he was while his partner would produce the legal documents.

His partner took him there. He helped admit him. He is hanging out the entire time... giving the admitting desk all my father's personal/legal information, his ID, insurance card, etc. I have to think... who the fuck else would he be?

[Jess]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

This is exactly the kind of thing I am frightened of, and I have more paper work than the SCOTUS would need. Legally Married? Check. Living Trust? Check. Advanced Directive? Check. Durable Power of Attorney? Check.

Do NOT let this story keep you from making informed decisions or completing the correct legal paperwork. Let it be a lesson. Give copies of your wishes to your loudest, most vocal loved ones.

The people that will cut a bitch for you if you can't do it yourself.

But do NOT shrug your shoulders and decide WTF why should I bother?

Lord, I pity the fool who ever tries to keep the girl out of my room. I also pity the poor bail bondsman she calls later! Busy busy, I tell ya!