What fart did you fart today?

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by Brock

ditto???????
You mean alcohol makes you want to chase cars too?
Wow, too cool! You are the only person who has ever admitted that to me.

Pssst ... come closer ... want to whisper something in your ear ... I think there are others who experience the odd behavior of alcohol-induced car chasing but they are unable to talk about it.

*wink*

Wellllll, ummmm, aaahhhhh, .... yes. And since I feel compelled to spill my guts in the middle of the night, I don't even need the alcohol to induce my inappropriate behavior regarding car chasing.

In fact, I have been caught on security tape dancing to Muszak at Walgreens and other public access establishments sans dance floors.

Thanks to Corporate nixing the audio feature of security cameras, you can't hear me singing along.

[RockOn]

I KNEW IT!!!! YOU little car-chaser, YOU! LOL!

Been so much fun, the back and forth teasing with you.

Now...
I am ready to hear more REAL stories on the topic.
Come on people and tell us about it, don't be shy!
*chuckles to self*

*smiles and waves to Sweet Bliss on my way out*

[Sweet Bliss]

okay, this is a true story .....

Just two nights ago I struggled to awake from a deep sleep, barely aware that I could not get oxygen in my lungs.....

As I used every bit of my strength to push up to a sitting position, I realized there was something blocking my path to fresh air....

As another wave of putrid air assailed my nose and lungs I looked down with my last conscious moment .....

Sophie's hairy ass and tail was right next to where my nose had been all night ....

She rips another SBD .......

[sis]

And, why no, I'm NOT actually admitting this every happened to me! lolol After all, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, did it really make the noise???

Deb

[willow]

Some of you may find these helpful.



Or these.



My personal favourite.

[Electrocell]

My cats like to cuddle with me ,sometimes one sleeps on my chest and let's out one those that gags you. So I get even with them every once in awhile and let out one of those " What crawled up inside you and died farts" lol that's when they move away.

[willow]

[candy_coated_bitch]

Originally Posted by willow

Some of you may find these helpful.



Or these.



My personal favourite.

I love the picture of the woman on the box for the "Farting Undies". Her look of surprise and horror is epic.

I read some of the descriptions of the farts to my partner the other day and I feel he took it as a bonding experience thus allowing him to be more open about farting in front of me.

Today: the "You can't even stand yourself and have no one else to blame fart." Exactly as it sounds.

[Medusa]

I did a "revenge" fart today on a coworker.

A coworker (who I love and who I have an ongoing "I got you last" revenge game with) rolled into my cube today and farted.

Engage hysterics from everyone who heard it.

Being the silent revenge-getter that I am and being that she sits directly behind me, I silently farted that one fart that can clear a room because you ate steamed broccoli and kidney beans for lunch and then proceeded to turn on my very powerful wind-tunnel fan and blow it into her cube.

I guess we could call that the "tornado of revenge".

[genghisfawn]

My guy and I were talking about jealous people and the "peeing on someone's leg" routine.

She said, "I don't need you to pee on me to advertise that I'm yours. You douse me with your sour farts all night long - that's good enough!"

[nycfem]

THE FART THAT CHASES ITS OWN TAIL

Today I felt a fart that was going to be more than a small scent-free puff, so I jumped off the gym mat and ran to an area of the gym where there was no people. I tried to maintain a thoughtful look on my face as I silently discharged the foul gas. Then I had to get away from the fart quick before anyone came into that vicinity in order to save myself embarrassment. However, as usual, as I went running back to the gym mat, I seemed to bring just the tiniest bit of the fart smell back with me. How can that be? Farts never cease to amaze in how sly they can be!

[sis]

I work with first graders .... they can be very smelly after lunch. However, today, we were talking about things we can smell. The activity was to draw a picture of something you can smell and then print 'good' or 'bad'. I have a zero tolerance policy for potty talk in the classroom as it takes so darn long to get ALL OF US settled down once the conversation is started. Thus, a student approached me with a drawing, and I will say an excellent drawing, of one of her smelly male classmates; a classmate that is quite proud of what he can produce after lunch in my classroom. Behind the butt of the student in the drawing was a 'cloud'. I was asked 'Miss Deb, is this okay?' Starting to stifle a giggle I asked 'how would you feel if this was a picture of you?' Well, there was some hemming and hawing and finally she said 'not good' followed by 'but, Miss Deb, see I think its okay because he is happy in the picture'. As Art Linkletter would say ..... kids say the darndest things.

Deb

[homoe]

BUMP....