How romantic are you?

ForeverMe · 04-15-2014, 09:02 PM

I am absolutely a romantic. I feel that romance is best when both parties are on the same page. I enjoy being romanced and also I also love to do some romancing.

The fastest way to my heart is to hold my door, gently touch my hand, planning little outings, or numerous other thoughtful, romantic moves. A little creativity will carry you a long ways.

Femmadian · 05-18-2014, 09:00 AM

I used to think that I was not very romantic. Then I had two long term relationships in a row with people who weren't romantic at all (after getting used to dating people who would be romantic once in a blue moon) and I came to realize that no, actually, I really am and it's something that's important to me in a relationship... After voicing my desires to no avail, in the end those relationships made me feel like I just wasn't worth the effort. I won't ever allow that to happen again.

Maybe it's not very hip to admit to wanting flowers and poetry and the whole nine yards (at least in certain circles), but damn it, I do, and I'm so sick of being made to feel somehow defective, a bad feminist, or hopelessly old fashioned for wanting it (not by anyone here - just generally). For me personally, it used to be something I would deny about myself and try desperately to ignore or downplay (along with most of the traditionally "feminine" aspects of my personality) and now it's something I embrace after years of struggling with it.

Some of the stuff we derisively peg as romantic or Hallmark-y, I think it's because it's just really overdone or it's because it's done insincerely or indiscriminately. I don't think that there is anything inherently cheesy or impersonal about flowers, poetry, or any of the things we sometimes roll our eyes at. I think the key is the intent, sincerity of the persons involved, and communication. If you bring me red roses on a date because that's "just something you do" as opposed to putting thought into it and finding out what I actually like (or if I like them at all), then yeah, kinda formulaic, though I would still find it sweet and appreciate the effort (and also the novelty of it as it would be a first for me). If, however, you make the effort to discover that I like white roses, lilacs, and pink carnations (don't judge me

) and whip out one of those, to me that is super romantic. Likewise, if I invite you over for a home cooked meal and some snuggling while we watch a movie, it could be considered formulaic and impersonal if I just put something together like pasta or lasagna, light a few candles, and have a random recent release ready for you. Instead, maybe you prefer Indian food and would appreciate a dish of roghan josh, incense over candles, and maybe you have a thing for retro kung-fu movies or really obscure and slightly depressing French films.

I think most anything can be romantic, even the things that seem overplayed at first glance, if done right.

Romance is also important for me to just keep the relationship alive and sparking and so that I don't end up feeling like I have a glorified roommate who I also sleep with when the mood strikes.

I want to be with someone who wants to lay out on the grass in a field and look at the stars.
I want to be with someone who enjoys reading poetry/prose/whatever out loud to each other while snuggled up in bed.
I want to be with someone who thinks little love notes and surprises "just because" are sweet and not corny.
I want to be with someone who understands the importance of physical affection outside of the bedroom and the sweetness of an unexpectedly gentle touch.
I want to be swept off my feet just once so I can know what it feels like.
I want to be with someone who is comfortable with both receiving and giving romantic gestures and who understands it doesn't diminish them or their masculinity in any way to be "caught" doing so.
Basically, I want someone who speaks the same "language" and understands that in a relationship this stuff is the good stuff.

BounceBounceBabyBoi · 08-02-2014, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Femmadian

Maybe it's not very hip to admit to wanting flowers and poetry and the whole nine yards (at least in certain circles), but damn it, I do, and I'm so sick of being made to feel somehow defective, a bad feminist, or hopelessly old fashioned for wanting it (not by anyone here - just generally). For me personally, it used to be something I would deny about myself and try desperately to ignore or downplay (along with most of the traditionally "feminine" aspects of my personality) and now it's something I embrace after years of struggling with it.

there is absolutely NOTHING
about wanting a mate who will make
you swoon and feel romanced that could ever
possibly make you a bad feminist.
I solemnly promise.
*crosses my heart*

oh, and I'm a will-make-sure-to-grab-
you-choclate-before-you-even-
think-to-ask kind of romantic

RockOn · 08-02-2014, 04:26 AM

How romantic am I?

Very with the right woman.

Vincent · 09-27-2015, 06:43 AM

I never knew I was very romantic till my last relationship,when I fell head over heals in love,I sent flowers from Sydney to the States,A ticket to Australia,we danced to Etta James "at last"on the steps of the opera house,the happiest moment in my life was seeing here at the airport for the first time,and her beauty took my breathe away,I recorded songs for her,and for the first time,I gave my heart to her.

VintageFemme · 09-27-2015, 09:52 AM

I love when someone bumps this thread and it's active again. It's one of my favourites on BFP.

So as anyone and everyone who knows me, knows how incredibly stupid romantic I am but I find as I age, romance becomes less and less a part of my life and I'm really not okay with that. I'm actually very sad about that. And I wonder if it has something to do with aging and that we get jaded with our years of romantic experience and just don't have the energy for the effort anymore or.... if it's me and I don't inspire that kind of romance anymore. Either of those answers are unacceptable to me. When I look at my post to this thread above^ a few ago, I wonder even moreso if those moments and gestures are gone forever now. With all my heart and soul, I hope not.

Vincent · 09-27-2015, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VintageFemme

I love when someone bumps this thread and it's active again. It's one of my favourites on BFP.

So as anyone and everyone who knows me, knows how incredibly stupid romantic I am but I find as I age, romance becomes less and less a part of my life and I'm really not okay with that. I'm actually very sad about that. And I wonder if it has something to do with aging and that we get jaded with our years of romantic experience and just don't have the energy for the effort anymore or.... if it's me and I don't inspire that kind of romance anymore. Either of those answers are unacceptable to me. When I look at my post to this thread above^ a few ago, I wonder even moreso if those moments and gestures are gone forever now. With all my heart and soul, I hope not.

I dont know if its age,for me I was 53 and felt like I was 16,of course I'm only talking about myself,and really,that's what I'm looking for again,if lightening can strike twice,I don't want to settle,I cant believe I sent her books of poetry,

I was never romantic before,so maybe it takes the right chemistry,I dont really know..................But it sure felt amazing.

04-15-2014, 09:02 PM	#1
ForeverMe Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Feminine ones please Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Here Posts: 54 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 155 Thanked 148 Times in 39 Posts Rep Power: 1926532	Love Romance I am absolutely a romantic. I feel that romance is best when both parties are on the same page. I enjoy being romanced and also I also love to do some romancing. The fastest way to my heart is to hold my door, gently touch my hand, planning little outings, or numerous other thoughtful, romantic moves. A little creativity will carry you a long ways.

05-18-2014, 09:00 AM	#2
Femmadian Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Isla Nublar Posts: 385 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,296 Thanked 2,407 Times in 362 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	I used to think that I was not very romantic. Then I had two long term relationships in a row with people who weren't romantic at all (after getting used to dating people who would be romantic once in a blue moon) and I came to realize that no, actually, I really am and it's something that's important to me in a relationship... After voicing my desires to no avail, in the end those relationships made me feel like I just wasn't worth the effort. I won't ever allow that to happen again. Maybe it's not very hip to admit to wanting flowers and poetry and the whole nine yards (at least in certain circles), but damn it, I do, and I'm so sick of being made to feel somehow defective, a bad feminist, or hopelessly old fashioned for wanting it (not by anyone here - just generally). For me personally, it used to be something I would deny about myself and try desperately to ignore or downplay (along with most of the traditionally "feminine" aspects of my personality) and now it's something I embrace after years of struggling with it. Some of the stuff we derisively peg as romantic or Hallmark-y, I think it's because it's just really overdone or it's because it's done insincerely or indiscriminately. I don't think that there is anything inherently cheesy or impersonal about flowers, poetry, or any of the things we sometimes roll our eyes at. I think the key is the intent, sincerity of the persons involved, and communication. If you bring me red roses on a date because that's "just something you do" as opposed to putting thought into it and finding out what I actually like (or if I like them at all), then yeah, kinda formulaic, though I would still find it sweet and appreciate the effort (and also the novelty of it as it would be a first for me). If, however, you make the effort to discover that I like white roses, lilacs, and pink carnations (don't judge me ) and whip out one of those, to me that is super romantic. Likewise, if I invite you over for a home cooked meal and some snuggling while we watch a movie, it could be considered formulaic and impersonal if I just put something together like pasta or lasagna, light a few candles, and have a random recent release ready for you. Instead, maybe you prefer Indian food and would appreciate a dish of roghan josh, incense over candles, and maybe you have a thing for retro kung-fu movies or really obscure and slightly depressing French films. I think most anything can be romantic, even the things that seem overplayed at first glance, if done right. Romance is also important for me to just keep the relationship alive and sparking and so that I don't end up feeling like I have a glorified roommate who I also sleep with when the mood strikes. I want to be with someone who wants to lay out on the grass in a field and look at the stars. I want to be with someone who enjoys reading poetry/prose/whatever out loud to each other while snuggled up in bed. I want to be with someone who thinks little love notes and surprises "just because" are sweet and not corny. I want to be with someone who understands the importance of physical affection outside of the bedroom and the sweetness of an unexpectedly gentle touch. I want to be swept off my feet just once so I can know what it feels like. I want to be with someone who is comfortable with both receiving and giving romantic gestures and who understands it doesn't diminish them or their masculinity in any way to be "caught" doing so. Basically, I want someone who speaks the same "language" and understands that in a relationship this stuff is the good stuff. __________________

09-27-2015, 06:43 AM	#5
Vincent Member How Do You Identify?: Transman Preferred Pronoun?: Him,he Relationship Status: just me Join Date: Apr 2015 Location: Tweed Heads Australia Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,204 Thanked 936 Times in 335 Posts Rep Power: 12178444	I never knew I was very romantic till my last relationship,when I fell head over heals in love,I sent flowers from Sydney to the States,A ticket to Australia,we danced to Etta James "at last"on the steps of the opera house,the happiest moment in my life was seeing here at the airport for the first time,and her beauty took my breathe away,I recorded songs for her,and for the first time,I gave my heart to her. __________________ https://soundcloud.com/conormont https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb1y2xyfYSw If Not Me-Who If Not Now-When If Not Here-Where

09-27-2015, 09:52 AM	#6
VintageFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Outside Posts: 2,299 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,828 Thanked 7,620 Times in 1,655 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I love when someone bumps this thread and it's active again. It's one of my favourites on BFP. So as anyone and everyone who knows me, knows how incredibly stupid romantic I am but I find as I age, romance becomes less and less a part of my life and I'm really not okay with that. I'm actually very sad about that. And I wonder if it has something to do with aging and that we get jaded with our years of romantic experience and just don't have the energy for the effort anymore or.... if it's me and I don't inspire that kind of romance anymore. Either of those answers are unacceptable to me. When I look at my post to this thread above^ a few ago, I wonder even moreso if those moments and gestures are gone forever now. With all my heart and soul, I hope not. __________________ Unfinished Business & Open to Serendipity

08-02-2014, 04:26 AM	#4
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	How romantic am I? Very with the right woman.