What are your life basics?

[cricket26]

maslows pyramid is a great visual tool used to explain our needs as human beings...the pyramid explains that the basic needs are at the bottom and the more intellectual needs are at the top....the pyramid implies that once our basic needs are met, we can move on to the needs higher up in the pyramid...unfortunately in an economy that allows people to live in poverty some people never reach a level beyond basic needs of survival...and if finances arent the reason keeping some from moving up the pyramid, isolation and discrimination can keep some from moving up the pyramid...one has to learn to adapt to ones circumstances....

[imperfect_cupcake]

Absolutely. I lived in poverty for quite a long time.
I had to make do with things like no heat, $10 a week grocery shopping for two people, no transport money to get to work, so it was walk or cycle, no ability to meet people etc etc etc. and I was surviving. Not living in way I could gain comfort from.

That's why I was asking about needs beyond that level. I learned a lot about where I could live and couldn't, what I could do without and still be happy, and what I couldn't.

Thus my question.

[cricket26]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

Absolutely. I lived in poverty for quite a long time.
I had to make do with things like no heat, $10 a week grocery shopping for two people, no transport money to get to work, so it was walk or cycle, no ability to meet people etc etc etc. and I was surviving. Not living in way I could gain comfort from.

That's why I was asking about needs beyond that level. I learned a lot about where I could live and couldn't, what I could do without and still be happy, and what I couldn't.

Thus my question.

some say the days you live in poverty are the happiest of your life...think of young married couples just starting out....the times i have had less are the times i have been the happiest

[imperfect_cupcake]

They were most certainly not the happiest. Real poverty where you are hungry and cold and isolated are not very happy at all.

[Gemme]

Agreed, cupcake.

There were days in my childhood that I had a choice between no food or dry cat food. Or when my mother dragged me across several states to sleep in homeless shelters. We were broke as a joke but those were not the happiest times for me. Not even close.

For my basics, this is what I need to thrive:

*community and a sense of knowing where I belong and what pack/pride/gaggle I belong to
*personal safety, in home and heart
*stable employment and home life
*unlimited time to myself (I may not take a lot some days, but I don't like limitations placed upon time I spend with myself)
*an abundance, even an over abundance, of food in the house (leftover from that whole no food/cat food thing)
*a firm bed for whole body health
*regular exercise for physical and mental health and pain management for health issues
*I need to be seen. Really and truly seen and accepted and loved. No filters, no fillers. Good, bad and ugly.
*Support, professionally and personally.

I can certainly still exist missing some or all of these things but it's just that; existence. I want to do more than just breathe air in and out. I want to live; truly so. These are some of the things I require to do that.

[Uli]

Originally Posted by cricket26

some say the days you live in poverty are the happiest of your life...think of young married couples just starting out....the times i have had less are the times i have been the happiest

There is a giant difference between 'we are on a tight budget, but will definitely probably not run out of ramen noodles before next pay day' and actual poverty. That notion of 'ahhh, the salad days, when we were young, broke, and happy' (which is a pretty specifically middle class notion) is not at all similar to actual poverty where you're stomach hurts and there's not even a cracker on which to squirt your last bit of ketchup.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Agreed, cupcake.

There were days in my childhood that I had a choice between no food or dry cat food. Or when my mother dragged me across several states to sleep in homeless shelters. We were broke as a joke but those were not the happiest times for me. Not even close.

For my basics, this is what I need to thrive:

*community and a sense of knowing where I belong and what pack/pride/gaggle I belong to
*personal safety, in home and heart
*stable employment and home life
*unlimited time to myself (I may not take a lot some days, but I don't like limitations placed upon time I spend with myself)
*an abundance, even an over abundance, of food in the house (leftover from that whole no food/cat food thing)
*a firm bed for whole body health
*regular exercise for physical and mental health and pain management for health issues
*I need to be seen. Really and truly seen and accepted and loved. No filters, no fillers. Good, bad and ugly.
*Support, professionally and personally.

I can certainly still exist missing some or all of these things but it's just that; existence. I want to do more than just breathe air in and out. I want to live; truly so. These are some of the things I require to do that.

Gosh, indeed. Having a home that I don't have to wear a wool hat to bed and shiver, my face be ice cold and watch my breath mist in front of me, take two hours to get to work, in order to dodge train fare, steal cat food from the vet practice so I can eat (dry frozen fifth grade fish fillets), shop lift food and barely make rent, constantly worried if I'm going to be able to the next month, while not being a citizen, is very frightening.

Now, I am on a tight budget. I have no milk for my tea Till the 30th, I'm living literally on rice and beans but I am not scared about being on the street. I'm not hungry and I'm warm this is poor. Not poverty.

I think you used a better word: thrive.
The basics I need to thrive. Thank you for understanding what I mean.

Gosh, isn't it great to have the opportunity to know <3

[Jesse]

Gosh I can relate to many of the posts here, some more than others.

I need to feel safe physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I need healthy, locally grown food that has not been modified or drowned in pesticides.
I need friends from all walks of life.
I need to be heard.
I need to matter to the people that I allow in my space.
I need for my personal boundaries to be respected.
I need to know what my friends expect and need from our relationship.
I need time and space in which to be still and just be me without expectations from others.
I need time for learning.
I need my creative outlets.
I need to maintain an intimate relationship with nature.
I am a huge fan of dogs in general and would be lost without my dog.
I need healthy interpersonal communication
I need laughter, sunshine, & warmth.
I need to know that I am loved.

I feel that I thrive when these needs are cared for.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

Gosh, indeed. Having a home that I don't have to wear a wool hat to bed and shiver, my face be ice cold and watch my breath mist in front of me, take two hours to get to work, in order to dodge train fare, steal cat food from the vet practice so I can eat (dry frozen fifth grade fish fillets), shop lift food and barely make rent, constantly worried if I'm going to be able to the next month, while not being a citizen, is very frightening.

Now, I am on a tight budget. I have no milk for my tea Till the 30th, I'm living literally on rice and beans but I am not scared about being on the street. I'm not hungry and I'm warm this is poor. Not poverty.

I think you used a better word: thrive.
The basics I need to thrive. Thank you for understanding what I mean.

Gosh, isn't it great to have the opportunity to know <3

I got what you were saying. Maybe it was some similarities in life experiences or that I had a teacher who practically lived and died for Maslow (I mean, REALLY loved him.), but I heard you. I just needed a bit of time to get some thoughts in order.



Jesse brought up a good one. Boundaries! For me and everyone else. That can possibly fall under the umbrella of seeing me; knowing me truly but it can more than that as it's not just the knowledge of the boundaries but the adherence to them and the respect for them.

Excellent point, Jesse.

[cricket26]

at the risk of sounding like my poverty was worse than your poverty...i will spare the details of my childhood, suffice to say that i know poverty...it may not have been "happy" times...but i thought the question was "what are your basic needs"


in times of hardship and poverty we depend on each other more and form closer bonds....meeting more emotional needs


the bonds formed during hard times...last a lifetime