Rethinking our partner wishlists. Is it "settling" or adjusting to reality?

[Ascot]

I've probably referenced this before because they've been with me a long time, but two relationship tenets that I still carry with me, given to me by my mother when I was quite young and we were having "the talks" are this; your partner has to challenge you intellectually and they have to make you laugh. Intelligence and a desire to continue learning are paramount to me. When I was younger, I'm sure I said that it's important that one be well educated but I don't necessarily mean that in a formal way. As I've gotten older, I've learned that education can come in many, many forms. Ignorance is not bliss.

A great sense of humor is pretty important to me, too. It's one of my nonnegotiables. It's especially important to be able to laugh at oneself. I know that isn't always easy. God knows I provide myself a lot of fodder in that regard. Life is simply too short to be a sourpuss all the time.

I am not going to settle. I want to feel lust, tenderness, respect, fierceness, creativity, comfort, protectiveness, love. They are the same things I want to receive and inspire. I don't think any of that has really changed for me over the years, but now they have a patina.