Relationships - What things do you want & need?

imperfect_cupcake · 06-10-2015, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JDeere

Someone who can show their feelings, even if they are scared to death!

< would fail miserably at that!

Not my strong point. 11 years in a culture where it's considered rude to be emotionally expressive (it's perceived that to do so is requiring those around you to cope with them) so I tend to keep my feelings to myself unless it's very private. However, I'm completely open and vocal about what I *think*

But those are two different things.

Good for you for knowing what you need in that regard!

Jesse · 06-10-2015, 11:49 AM

Someone who truly chooses to be in an interpersonal relationship with ME, and not just in a relationship to avoid being alone or whatever. I am not good "back burner" material.

Daisy Chain · 06-10-2015, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesse

Someone who truly chooses to be in an interpersonal relationship with ME, and not just in a relationship to avoid being alone or whatever. I am not good "back burner" material.

I know what you mean, who wants to be a place holder, what a poor investment of time.

DC

JDeere · 06-17-2015, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesse

Someone who truly chooses to be in an interpersonal relationship with ME, and not just in a relationship to avoid being alone or whatever. I am not good "back burner" material.

Oh you hit the nail on the head for another one that is on my list!

Venus007 · 06-19-2015, 04:22 AM

I do best with someone who is funny, horny, has self knowledge and is secure in themselves enough to take my need for independence and alone time, intelligence and having the ability to argue rationally helps a lot too

JDeere · 06-21-2015, 07:54 PM

Someone who can boil crawfish with me!!!! And who is not scared to get their hands pinched by them!

gotoseagrl · 10-07-2015, 11:03 AM

I've learned that sometimes you think you know all of what you want or need, until you actually have it. Then you discover even more you didn't know you needed as well as things that don't really matter after all. It can be a long list, but it evolves with good & bad experiences.

~ Someone who was genuinely my friend first
~ Differences that are complimentary or insignificant instead of destructive
~ A relationship that builds up instead of breaks down who I am - someone who brings me back home to the best of me
~ One that people who care about me the most think is right
~ Being with someone I deeply respect & admire
~ Being humbled by each other
~ Painful honesty & selflessness
~ Fears that melt away, instead of worsen
~ Believing in positive reinforcement instead of negative
~ Super strong communication that is effortless & mutually desired, daily
~ Trust that is easily earned & maintained
~ The same old-fashioned, old school values
~ A sense of humor that we sometimes can't control
~ Sharing nerdy little things in common as well as the major things
~ Perceiving flaws & mistakes with love instead of resentment
~ Someone who actively cares about their health on their own the same as me
~ Someone whose lifestyle naturally falls in line with mine
~ Dynamics that are so fulfilling & exciting :-)
~ Someone I absolutely always feel safe with ... always
~ Someone who has self control when it's needed
~ We make each other ridiculously happy over the most simple things in life
~ Someone who spoils me with love & care rather than material things
~ Someone who shows instead of tells
~ We make each other better & bring out the best in ourselves vs the worst
~ Routines & consistent structure that others would find boring
~ Someone who makes me look forward instead of backwards
~ The feeling of Christmas waking up to this person
~ Falling asleep together
~ Someone with whom I feel such a deep peace that surpasses even the greatest meditation there is
~ Someone who speaks at the same pace I do ... who happens to be born & raised where I was, in a place we both have wanted to settle in ... ok maybe this isn't a requirement lol I just got super lucky
~ Having a relationship we can't even imagine being without
~ Most importantly, we don't ever feel the need to want to change each other, because we're already so happy & healthy together as is

06-10-2015, 11:49 AM	#2
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,784 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Someone who truly chooses to be in an interpersonal relationship with ME, and not just in a relationship to avoid being alone or whatever. I am not good "back burner" material. __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

06-19-2015, 04:22 AM	#5
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,749 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I do best with someone who is funny, horny, has self knowledge and is secure in themselves enough to take my need for independence and alone time, intelligence and having the ability to argue rationally helps a lot too __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

06-21-2015, 07:54 PM	#6
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,835 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Someone who can boil crawfish with me!!!! And who is not scared to get their hands pinched by them! __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

10-07-2015, 11:03 AM	#7
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I've learned that sometimes you think you know all of what you want or need, until you actually have it. Then you discover even more you didn't know you needed as well as things that don't really matter after all. It can be a long list, but it evolves with good & bad experiences. ~ Someone who was genuinely my friend first ~ Differences that are complimentary or insignificant instead of destructive ~ A relationship that builds up instead of breaks down who I am - someone who brings me back home to the best of me ~ One that people who care about me the most think is right ~ Being with someone I deeply respect & admire ~ Being humbled by each other ~ Painful honesty & selflessness ~ Fears that melt away, instead of worsen ~ Believing in positive reinforcement instead of negative ~ Super strong communication that is effortless & mutually desired, daily ~ Trust that is easily earned & maintained ~ The same old-fashioned, old school values ~ A sense of humor that we sometimes can't control ~ Sharing nerdy little things in common as well as the major things ~ Perceiving flaws & mistakes with love instead of resentment ~ Someone who actively cares about their health on their own the same as me ~ Someone whose lifestyle naturally falls in line with mine ~ Dynamics that are so fulfilling & exciting :-) ~ Someone I absolutely always feel safe with ... always ~ Someone who has self control when it's needed ~ We make each other ridiculously happy over the most simple things in life ~ Someone who spoils me with love & care rather than material things ~ Someone who shows instead of tells ~ We make each other better & bring out the best in ourselves vs the worst ~ Routines & consistent structure that others would find boring ~ Someone who makes me look forward instead of backwards ~ The feeling of Christmas waking up to this person ~ Falling asleep together ~ Someone with whom I feel such a deep peace that surpasses even the greatest meditation there is ~ Someone who speaks at the same pace I do ... who happens to be born & raised where I was, in a place we both have wanted to settle in ... ok maybe this isn't a requirement lol I just got super lucky ~ Having a relationship we can't even imagine being without ~ Most importantly, we don't ever feel the need to want to change each other, because we're already so happy & healthy together as is __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence