Bedwetting: What is normal and what is not...

[girlin2une]

After searching through the parenting forum, I was unable to find a thread pertaining to this issue. My apologies if there is one and I just haven't found it.
My daughter just recently turned 6. She has been toilet trained since she was 18 months old and since then has rarely had a daytime accident. She just doesn't wake up when she needs to -for lack of a better term- "pee" at night. She has been wearing a pull-up at night and very rarely wakes up dry.
Here is my issue and its rather two-fold as my mum seems to always need to offer her opinion whether I want it or not...
After speaking with my family Dr., I was reassured that it is normal and she will outgrow it. She says many children don't have mature bladders at this age.
My mum, on the other hand has many opinions and says basically that she is not trained and I must be doing something wrong...
I am very frustrated...
If anyone has any thoughts to share, advice or the like, I am open to suggestion.
I realise that I am complaining about my mother, but I really would love to hear of any 'like' stories and/or experiences.

[TruTexan]

Originally Posted by girlin2une

After searching through the parenting forum, I was unable to find a thread pertaining to this issue. My apologies if there is one and I just haven't found it.
My daughter just recently turned 6. She has been toilet trained since she was 18 months old and since then has rarely had a daytime accident. She just doesn't wake up when she needs to -for lack of a better term- "pee" at night. She has been wearing a pull-up at night and very rarely wakes up dry.
Here is my issue and its rather two-fold as my mum seems to always need to offer her opinion whether I want it or not...
After speaking with my family Dr., I was reassured that it is normal and she will outgrow it. She says many children don't have mature bladders at this age.
My mum, on the other hand has many opinions and says basically that she is not trained and I must be doing something wrong...
I am very frustrated...
If anyone has any thoughts to share, advice or the like, I am open to suggestion.
I realise that I am complaining about my mother, but I really would love to hear of any 'like' stories and/or experiences.

Girl, your family dr. is right. Many times children's bladders aren't matured enough to not wet while still sleeping. I was one of those children growing up and I outgrew it. Don't freak out, your daughter isn't being lazy and not getting up it's just that bladders are not always mature in some children like they are in others to hold pee and wake them up with the urge to go. It may help your daughter to not be wet in the mornings if you will not allow her to drink anything an hour before bed time, that works for some children too, not all, but some. Just a suggestion.

[girlin2une]

Thank you Tru... I actually don't allow her anything to drink 2 hours ahead of bedtime AND I take her to the bathroom before I go to bed...
I do not think she is lazy and have never made a huge issue of it... My mother seems to think I must be doing something wrong... That bothers me A LOT

Originally Posted by TruTexan

Girl, your family dr. is right. Many times children's bladders aren't matured enough to not wet while still sleeping. I was one of those children growing up and I outgrew it. Don't freak out, your daughter isn't being lazy and not getting up it's just that bladders are not always mature in some children like they are in others to hold pee and wake them up with the urge to go. It may help your daughter to not be wet in the mornings if you will not allow her to drink anything an hour before bed time, that works for some children too, not all, but some. Just a suggestion.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by girlin2une

Thank you Tru... I actually don't allow her anything to drink 2 hours ahead of bedtime AND I take her to the bathroom before I go to bed...
I do not think she is lazy and have never made a huge issue of it... My mother seems to think I must be doing something wrong... That bothers me A LOT

If it weren't for the opinions of our Mothers, we would be pretty terrific wouldn't we? Maybe there are some things she just doesn't need to know?

Nothing wakes my daughter up (earthquakes, firecrackers etc...), and she had the same issue off and on until she was 8 or so years old.

You know your child, and if the doctor says she is fine, then go with your gut.

[girlin2une]

it would've been fine and dandy if she didn't know, but my daughter (and son) are staying at my parents overnight tonight and my daughter fell asleep this afternoon after swimming in their backyard pool and unfortunately had an accident in their spare room and bed...so...my mother called me to tell me that she thinks my daughter needs diapers! I'm almost certain she didn't make my daughter feel badly in any way... seems to just be me she puts pressure on...

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

If it weren't for the opinions of our Mothers, we would be pretty terrific wouldn't we? Maybe there are some things she just doesn't need to know?

Nothing wakes my daughter up (earthquakes, firecrackers etc...), and she had the same issue off and on until she was 8 or so years old.

You know your child, and if the doctor says she is fine, then go with your gut.

[girlin2une]

hmmmm.... I just thought about deleting the previous post because it seems like I am on a rant regarding my mum.... I apologise for that...
its good for people to realise I am human and am allowed to rant about my mum... she is wrong. I know this. My daughter will outgrow this phase...
It just seems like everything I try to do to alleviate the issue of bed-wetting is getting me no where...
ok ok ok RANT OVER

[midwest chick]

Newborns have remarkably tiny bladders (as well as other body parts and organs) that grow slowly......very slowly. Toddler bladders aren't much bigger, some only hold about 30ml of fluid(a shot glass) and this is why they urinate frequently during toilet training. The next 'big jump' is around school age-kindergarten and first grade....give or take a year. During these periods they are learning and storing an incredible amount of information, and all of it has to be sorted, repackaged, and filed for storage during sleep.

I was one of the miniature bladder kids....the pediatrician told my parents it was normal to be a bed wetter, and that i WOULD grow out of it, my grandmother said I just needed night-time training. My parents wanted a quick fix, so I would go to the hospital every six months for them to attempt to expand my bladder. I doubt they do this any more....it hurts, and makes your urine get bloody from small tears in the bladder.

The summer between kindergarten and first grade, my grandmother won a round with my parents, and I got to spend 2 weeks at her house in the hills of Kentucky. Her routine for me was totally low stress, and lots of fun.
Playing outside all day (weeding the vegetable garden, feeding chickens, walking to the grocery or post office) eating on a schedule, and yes!! drinking on a schedule all day for 2 weeks.
After the pre-bedtime rituals were completed, she would give me a 4oz glass of water to drink and tuck me in. The water was to prime the pump, so to speak. I fell asleep hard and fast because of those busy days. For the first week, she would set her alarm every 2 hours to walk me to the bathroom, give me another 4oz glass of water, and take me back to bed. The second week, she set her alarm every 3 hours for a few days, then every 4 hours. Each time I urinated, she made me drink 4oz of water.
Not only was I not embarrassed anymore, I wasn't waking up in a wet bed.
It might be worth a try for her.

Thinking of moms--I was one of her more difficult babies--I was sent to different relatives from 6months-6 years old.

Hope this helps, or gives an idea to try.

[EnchantedNightDweller]

Originally Posted by girlin2une

After searching through the parenting forum, I was unable to find a thread pertaining to this issue. My apologies if there is one and I just haven't found it.
My daughter just recently turned 6. She has been toilet trained since she was 18 months old and since then has rarely had a daytime accident. She just doesn't wake up when she needs to -for lack of a better term- "pee" at night. She has been wearing a pull-up at night and very rarely wakes up dry.
Here is my issue and its rather two-fold as my mum seems to always need to offer her opinion whether I want it or not...
After speaking with my family Dr., I was reassured that it is normal and she will outgrow it. She says many children don't have mature bladders at this age.
My mum, on the other hand has many opinions and says basically that she is not trained and I must be doing something wrong...
I am very frustrated...
If anyone has any thoughts to share, advice or the like, I am open to suggestion.
I realise that I am complaining about my mother, but I really would love to hear of any 'like' stories and/or experiences.

Ditto what everyone else said. I had this same problem about that age. I think with me, I would need to use the restroom but I was in such a deep sleep that my mind would trick me. I would actually dream I got up to go to the restroom and would wake up after it was too late. I was also a sleepwalker. It only lasted about a year and then it just stopped.

[The Oopster]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Loneliest_Runner

I remember this as an afterschool special growing up.

Even famous people can be bedwetters

[*Anya*]

Bedwetting: What Causes It?

By Matthew Hoffman, MD
WebMD FeatureReviewed by Roy Benaroch, MD

"I call it the hidden problem of childhood," says Howard Bennett, MD, a pediatrician and author of "Waking Up Dry: A Guide to Help Children Overcome Bedwetting". "Unlike asthma or allergies, it's just not talked about outside the house.

Bedwetting: The Secret Problem

That secrecy about bedwetting makes the situation tougher for kids and parents alike. "Ninety percent of kids think they're the only ones who wet the bed, which makes them feel even worse," says Bennett.

Yet bed-wetting children are far from alone. Though children naturally gain bladder control at night, they do so at different ages. From 5 to 7 million kids wet the bed some or most nights -- with twice as many boys wetting their bed as girls. After age 5, about 15% of children continue to wet the bed, and by age 10, 95% of children are dry at night.

Wet beds leave bad feelings all around. Frustrated parents sometimes conclude a child is wetting the bed out of laziness. Kids worry there's something wrong with them -- especially when teasing siblings chime in. Fear of wetting the bed at a friend's sleepover can create social awkwardness.

For some, bedwetting may be an inevitable part of growing up, but it doesn't have to be traumatic. Understanding bed-wetting's causes is the first step to dealing with this common childhood problem.

The Bedwetting Gene

There's no one single cause of bed-wetting, but if you want an easy target, look no farther than your own DNA.

"The majority of bedwetting is inherited," says Bennett. "For three out of four kids, either a parent or a first-degree relative also wet the bed in childhood."

Scientists have even located some of the specific genes that lead to delayed nighttime bladder control. (For the record, they're on chromosome 13, 12, and 8.)

"Most parents who had the same problem communicate it to their kids, which is good," suggests Bennett. "It helps a kid understand, I'm not alone, it's not my fault."

The Usual Bedwetting Suspects

Yet genetics only tells part of the story. Researchers have identified a number of factors that likely contribute to bedwetting. "All of these are debated, but each probably plays a role in some children," says Bennett, including:

Delayed bladder maturation. "Simply put, the brain and bladder gradually learn to communicate with each other during sleep, and this takes longer to happen in some kids," Bennett tells WebMD.

Low anti-diuretic hormone (ADH). This hormone tells the kidneys to make less urine. Studies show that some kids who wet the bed release less of this hormone while asleep. More urine can mean more bedwetting.

Deep sleepers. "Families have been telling us for years that their children who wet the bed sleep more deeply than their kids that don't," says Bennett. Research confirms the link. "Some of these children sleep so deeply, their brain doesn't get the signal that their bladder is full."

Smaller "functional" bladder. Although a child's true bladder size may be normal, "during sleep, it sends the signal earlier that it's full," says Bennett.

Constipation. Full bowels press on the bladder, and can cause uncontrolled bladder contractions, during waking or sleep. "This is the one that's hiding in the background," says Bennett. "Once kids are toilet trained, parents often don't know how often a child is going ... [they're] out of the 'poop loop.'"

Bedwetting: When Is It Worth Worrying?

Bedwetting that's caused by medical problems is genuinely rare -- 3% of cases or less, according to Bennett. Urinary tract infections, sleep apnea, diabetes, spinal cord problems, and deformities of the bladder or urinary tract -- all are worth mentioning, but probably not worryingover.

Medical causes of bedwetting are nearly always uncovered by simply talking to a child and her parents, performing an exam, and testing the urine, says Bennett.
"The vast majority of kids who are wet at night have nothing medically wrong with them," he emphasizes.

Children who have gained nighttime bladder control, then "relapsed" into bedwetting, are slightly more likely to have medical causes. Psychological stress (such as divorce or the birth of a new sibling) is an even more common cause, though.

Pediatricians don't diagnose primary nocturnal enuresis (the medical term for bedwetting) until age 6. It's an arbitrary cutoff -- after all, 12% of children wet the bed at that age. "It's really only a problem when either the child or the parents start to think so," says Bennett.

Bedwetting Treatment: Becoming 'Boss of Your Body'

The potential harm of bedwetting is more often psychological than medical. "After age 6, many children start to have sleepovers, and that's when bed-wetting can be particularly embarrassing and stressful," says Bennett.

"It's just as important to know what doesn't cause bedwetting -- the myths around it," says Bennett. "No child wets the bed on purpose, or from being too lazy to get up to pee."

Dragging themselves out of bed to change wet sheets on yet another night, parents frequently become frustrated. "Intentionally or unintentionally, parents express disapproval that this is happening," says Bennett. "It's understandable, but it makes the situation worse."

Addressing the problem positively can avoid lasting problems, and numerous strategies can help children cope with and improve bedwetting. Some bed-wetting treatments include:

Encouraging a child to pee before bedtime.
Restricting a child's fluid intake before bed.
Covering the mattress with plastic.
Bed-wetting alarms. These alarms sense urine and wake a child so they can use the toilet.
Bladder stretching exercises that may increase how much urine the bladder can hold.
Medications.

Because bedwetting gets better on its own, "in the past, doctors often said to parents and kids, 'Don't worry about it,'" says Bennett. "But if it's causing anxiety or social problems, it's important to know there are things families can do to make the situation better."

http://www.webmd.com/children/featur...wetting-causes


PS: Anya's opinion: Grandma needs to butt out! A 6-year-old and her momma do not need added stress and to be made to feel badly or guilty about the situation. It is clear that laziness has zero to do with bedwetting.

Hang in there!

[girlin2une]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

PS: Anya's opinion: Grandma needs to butt out! A 6-year-old and her momma do not need added stress and to be made to feel badly or guilty about the situation. It is clear that laziness has zero to do with bedwetting.

Hang in there!

Thank you thank thank you Anya!!