Why can't I.....

[tantalizingfemme]

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

Or have Dapper right outside the closed bathroom door.

OMG. I kind of want you guys to video tape this exchange.

Not that I'm weird or anything.

I'm seriously laughing so hard I'm choking.... I would tape it just so I could see the look on hys face.

[princessbelle]

I don't know tantalizingfemme, Bully and i have lived together going on a year and i still can't do it.

I never even mention it.

As a matter of fact, here in this open forum is the only time i've ever said the word poop since i met her.

(which is actually one year tomorrow. Happy anniversary to us)

PS....i rattled paper here by the computer just now when i typed the P word so she wouldn't hear or know.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by tantalizingfemme

I'm seriously laughing so hard I'm choking.... I would tape it just so I could see the look on hys face.

I just peed a little!!!!

[LaneyDoll]

My ex and I were together for YEARS and while I am sure he knew that my body acted like everyone else's, he never got confirmation-lol.

I had a c-section with my first child and everyone who has had surgery knows, they do not let you leave until you can use the bathroom-THAT way. Yes, I know the reasons for it and understand completely.

There I was, body systems were waking up from anesthesia, I was finally able to eat and beyond ready to get home. And I knew what I had to do to leave. But, the ex had NEVER, until that point, been allowed to be near the bathroom at that time.

However, I was post c-section and could not stand up with assistance. I was literally torn between buzzing for a nurse and calling him for help. It is funny now but then, I was mortified. And I ended up calling him rather than take the nurse away from her tasks.

I think that the extreme awareness of things like this may be Southern

Southern product alert: http://poopourri.com/

[Corkey]

I'm of the mind that holding it in is a really shitty prospect....

[tantalizingfemme]

Originally Posted by princessbelle

I don't know tantalizingfemme, Bully and i have lived together going on a year and i still can't do it.

I never even mention it.

As a matter of fact, here in this open forum is the only time i've ever said the word poop since i met her.

(which is actually one year tomorrow. Happy anniversary to us)

PS....i rattled paper here by the computer just now when i typed the P word so she wouldn't hear or know.

omg Belle.... that is soo funny. I'm still laughing thinking about Bully walking down the hall and you screaming "don't look" and Bully's head snapping straight and eyes straight forward. .

PoopS Happy Anniversary

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by princessbelle

I'm right there with you tantalizingfemme. The other day i left the bathroom door open a little and my puppy bella opened it the rest of the way.

I heard Bully coming down the hall and FREAKED OUT. I screamed SHUT YOUR EYES AND DON'T LOOK. She did and turned her head the other way. THANK GOODNESS

LOL@Novelafemme....so true!!!

You can also run the water on high and splash your hand around in it while you are on the pot if you are close enough. Then they think you are just washing your face.

LMAO, yes the 2 dogs always follow her in there and sometimes the cat. But never me. Honey I don't try to guess if it's No. 1 or No. 2

[nekohl]

I had a room mate in college and for 4 years she would turn the water on full blast whenever she was in the bathroom. Every so often me or one of the other roomies would mess with her and talk to her through the door while she was in there. I'm sure she was in there thinking "assholes! I gotta poop!"
Yeah, we were assholes.

[nycfem]

I have a cat who LIVES for me to have to poop. She likes to be petted by me from my seated position on the toilet, vibrating her tail to insist I do it, or gently scratching my lower leg if I ignore her. Sometimes, in addition to trying to produce a poop, I've also got a lap top sitting on the edge of the bathtub and a People magazine in my hands- the last thing I need is to be stroking a needy cat! The problem is that if I close the door all the way, she will scratch the door and cry and try desperately to get inside. If I close it almost all the way, then there is a sufficient boundary from BB, and I just have to hope that she doesn't knock open the door, leaving it grossly ajar, such that the whole spiritual experience of the poop is ruined. Wow, I didn't know I had so much to say on this topic

Originally Posted by princessbelle

I'm right there with you tantalizingfemme. The other day i left the bathroom door open a little and my puppy bella opened it the rest of the way.

I heard Bully coming down the hall and FREAKED OUT. I screamed SHUT YOUR EYES AND DON'T LOOK. She did and turned her head the other way. THANK GOODNESS

LOL@Novelafemme....so true!!!

You can also run the water on high and splash your hand around in it while you are on the pot if you are close enough. Then they think you are just washing your face.

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by tantalizingfemme

omg Belle.... that is soo funny. I'm still laughing thinking about Bully walking down the hall and you screaming "don't look" and Bully's head snapping straight and eyes straight forward. .

PoopS Happy Anniversary

Thanks!!!!


Oh it's true. So true.

Other ideas...

~ Give "them" a job to do outside and tell them to HURRY and run to the bathroom when you hear the door shut.

~ Turn on the shower, if you need extra time.

~ Take a broom or mop in with you so they think you are cleaning.

~ Sneak in, if they are in another part of the house and gently close the door without them knowing you are in there at all. (this one takes practice)

~ If you are out in a store or something, say "honey, i'm gonna look at the underwear, i'll catch up to you later". They never follow and you have all the time you need to do your um business.

Just a few tricks of the trade i thought i'd share....

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by June

13 years, 3 months. And, NO.

I don't even understand double sinks. Not only do I not want to excrete in front of anyone, I don't want to brush my teeth with them.

No.

OMG!

June said excrete.

The world is gonna explode!!!

or maybe just me!!

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by BullDog

LMAO, yes the 2 dogs always follow her in there and sometimes the cat. But never me. Honey I don't try to guess if it's No. 1 or No. 2

OMG YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE IN HERE!!!!!

Hurry!!!!! Close your eyes and look away!!!

[tantalizingfemme]

I guess for me, it's the idea that hy knows what I am doing. And turning on the water for me is like sending out an alert to those within earshot that I'm gonna be pooping.... lol

Poop talk is so funny....fart talk makes me lol too.

[Kätzchen]

Originally Posted by tantalizingfemme

I just blame it all on my mother.....

When I read this, tantalizingfemme, I said, *omg, me too!* --

meaning I blame my mother too!

(for some, not all, bathroom rules;
toilet paper issues, included)

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by tantalizingfemme

I guess for me, it's the idea that hy knows what I am doing. And turning on the water for me is like sending out an alert to those within earshot that I'm gonna be pooping.... lol

Poop talk is so funny....fart talk makes me lol too.

I. LIVE. FOR. BATHROOM. HUMOR.

Amen.

[Medusa]

When Jackhammer and I were dating long distance I would fly to LA for a week or more and for at least the first 10 trips I would send her to the store.

Generally for Diet Dr. Pepper.

As soon as she pulled out of the driveway, it was a mad dash for the bathroom! Fling open the door, turn on the fan, pre-spray the area with Glade, open the window, crap as quickly as possible while flushing the whole time, and then when done you have to stand there fanning the door back and forth to force the smell out the open window.

[princessbelle]

This is some funny shyt i tell ya.

I'm with nycfembbw, i didn't know i had so much to say on this topic either.

I'm giving out lists of ways to cope with the problem. I didn't realize other peeps had this problem too.

Maybe we have a poop phobia or something. Maybe we should start a support group.

[tantalizingfemme]

Originally Posted by Kätzchen

When I read this, tantalizingfemme, I said, *omg, me too!* --

meaning I blame my mother too!

(for some, not all, bathroom rules;
toilet paper issues, included)

I blame my mother for everything. And TP issues... oh gosh. I remember going to a friends house, I had to have been around 6, maybe 7, and her mother handed me ONE square of TP when I went to use the bathroom.

I wasted more money on the tons of soap and water I used to wash my hands then it would have to cost to hand over one or two more.

[Corkey]

We'd need another bathroom. Having parasalsis (sp) is a real bummer.... No garlic!!!!

[nycfem]

Tantalizing, I would suggest for the first few calls, make yourself more comfortable by not letting Dapper know that this is a "poop call." If Dapper questions any grunting sounds or general exertion in your voice, just tell DB that you happen to be in the midst of preparing a gourmet cheese plate for yourself and that you are having some difficulty with opening a jar of olives.

Originally Posted by tantalizingfemme

I hope DB doesn't see this, he'll never answer my calls again.

That would be a start Jen, thanks! I would probably cover the mouth piece the entire time though....