Ask a trans person! - Page 2

macele · 09-28-2013, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by harleycat

Got a question for you, Leigh... why do you have down that you're femme but yet you posted that you are an out FTM?

what agape and harleycat have questions about, ... seem to be along the same lines. which is, a person can be butch or femme and male.

i'm hope i'm not out of place.

DapperButch · 09-28-2013, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agape

I would like to ask a question if anyone would like to give your thoughts about this: I wonder how you view "masculinity" as in clothes, behavior, energy etc in regards to someone identifying as male (I realize that what is considered "masculine" is relative but still...).
For example: how would you view a person identifying as male but still behaving/dressing in feminine ways, would you consider that confusing? The reason I ask is because I have encountered this issue when discussing transgender-issues, that gender and gender expression seem to be viewed by many ppl as almost one and the same. So when someone id's as male they are expected to dress, behave in a masculine way. (The same when someone id's as female...)
Personally, after both my own inner journey and also after doing some research/reading, I feel that gender and gender expression are two separate things... Meaning that it's possible for someone to id as male and still be very feminine.
I also feel that masculinity and femininity are more of a sort of energy/personality and don't have much to do with clothes, haircut and so on (but it could of course be expressed through those things).
I'm very curious to hear what others think about this!

I agree with you. Male does not = masculine nor Female = feminine. Therefore, yes a male can be feminine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by macele

what agape and harleycat have questions about, ... seem to be along the same lines. which is, a person can be butch or femme and male.

i'm hope i'm not out of place.

Some people say that the terms butch and femme should be reserved for the butch/femme community, but there are gay males who define as "butch", but it is a different type of butch.

Leigh's issue is not the same thing. Her sex/gender has shifted since the beginning of this thread. Perhaps she will come in and explain.

agape · 09-24-2013, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leigh

I guess I have a few questions that I will start out with, since I know that we have all started somewhere. I'll begin with just a few basic ones:

1) When did you begin feeling like you were different?

2) Did you always know that you should have been born the opposite sex, or did that come abit later though you always knew you were different?

3) When did you decide to come out, and how did you come out?

Questions asked a while ago but I would like to answer them from my perspective...

1) When did you begin feeling like you were different?

I've always been treated in ways that made me feel different but didn't really know why. I couldn't tell why I was being called a tomboy, as a kid I didn't think about gender at all...
When I became a teenager I started thinking about gender and how I felt different amounts of boy/girl, different days. At first I assumed that everyone felt like that

lol. I couldn't really grasp the idea of having "only" one gender...
Then it has gotten harder the older I became...

2) Did you always know that you should have been born the opposite sex, or did that come abit later though you always knew you were different?

I've always wanted to be treated like the opposite sex. I don't only mean when it comes to gender equality, I mean for example as a kid wanting to have the same toys as the boys, to play with boys rather than girls etc... I often feel I should have been born a boy, the older I get the more often I feel that... But most of the time I feel I don't truly fit in in the gender binary in general. I feel I'm in between genders...

3) When did you decide to come out, and how did you come out?

I didn't really decide to come out, it sort of happened... I was coming out as gay and realized that there was more to the whole thing... It was really a crisis, it's still not easy at times...
I tried telling some friends I trust but felt pressured to transition and judged about my feminine looks and behavior. It seems hard to explain the concept of "gender-mixture" and "feminine-man" to someone who hasn't experienced it... I have found it can be a bit easier on the internet, but not always...

*posting post keeping fingers crossed hoping that I haven't -without realizing it- said anything that might be offensive to anyone...

DJ4321 · 06-01-2014, 06:16 AM

I'm in the same boat

Feasting Panther · 04-30-2015, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leigh

I personally also want to thank you for starting this thread Linus. I have been going through alot lately when it comes to questioning My gender, and after going to an FTM group meeting at the local GLBT community center this past Tuesday I feel that I am more sure about alot of things than I was before. I sat among eight FTM's and listened to their struggles, their coming out stories, how they feel now and felt before about their change and even though most of them were on T and have been for awhile I felt Myself nodding and identifying with each of them.

I guess I have a few questions that I will start out with, since I know that we have all started somewhere. I'll begin with just a few basic ones:

1) When did you begin feeling like you were different?

2) Did you always know that you should have been born the opposite sex, or did that come abit later though you always knew you were different?

3) When did you decide to come out, and how did you come out?

I am out as trans (FTM) to certain people that I know online as well as those at the FTM group I attended but not to anyone else. A big part of Me wants to come out to family and friends so I can finally outright be who I am on the inside, but there is still that part of Me that is scared to do so. I am really looking to just connect with other FTM's (as well as MTF's) and relate to those who have gone through the journey, or perhaps those like Me really just beginning it, so that I can know that I'm not alone.

Hi, Being M-T-F i never had a coming out with family etc. At age 14 the family Dr told my parents i may have a condition known then as 'Gender Identity Disorder' or Harry Benjamin's Condition, I also have Klinefelters Syndrome Or xxy47 so I was very different as a Boy, if you aw pics of me before HRT i appear neither Male or Femail.
I left home at 15 (Ran Away) ended up in the military where i became heavily involved in Physical Training and Extreme Sport. After leaving the Military due to a Sexual Assault and Bastardization i went to a Psych who said i had a sexuality disorder and gave me a course of anti-psychs and ECT.
I was screwed up and went to Sydney and worked in a Bakery in the heart of Sydney's GAY Area 'Oxford St', my boss asked me once if i was gay, but i said no, im a Girl, he was a kind man and i saw a counselor which he paid for, she told me i had Gender Dysphoria.
I didn't Transition till a lot later for fear of losing my family, which happened anyway, i'm lived for a while as a femme womyn, but I'm more into the beach and fitness and also found attitudes in the Trans* Community stifling, im happiest in jeans and a tee riding my bike. I didn't have major issues with hormones and my body developed very quickly, with my dr and endo allowing me some personal freedom and responsibility with my hormone level doses.
I feel because i never identified as a Male, just lived that role my Transition is kind of unusual compared to most ive met, my voice is in the femail range, i have no Adams apple or manly features to worry about mainly, due to being xxy.
So thats my little life story, Take Care.

StephanieAlexis · 11-13-2009, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

Rather than make it specific to FTMs or MTFs, figured one thread should suffice. So, all those embarrassing questions you wanted to ask but figured or knew were kinda impolite, ask here. No guarantees you'll get an answer but you can ask.

Thank you Linus for setting up this forum. In this day of media/political misinformation and media exaggeration this kind of setting becomes all the more important.

Jet · 05-20-2010, 09:37 PM

I start t on tuesday

Dylan · 05-20-2010, 09:45 PM

Grant,

I don't know the reason for his using it. I just heard the story about how he gave the lady (who complained) a bunch of shit and laughed at her.

Personally, I find it completely disrespectful, and honestly, I kind of wanted to kick his ass. I mean, A) I don't understand why you would pound your fist about being male only to then use the ladies' room and B) I don't understand why you would intentionally make women uncomfortable.

And frankly, it pisses me off. I don't know exactly WHY it pisses me off, but it does. I mean, I can't imagine any other man I would *allow* to use the women's room, and then give women shit when they get upset that there's a man in the restroom. And I also don't understand WHY you would want to use the women's restroom EXCEPT to start shit.

Dylan

P.S. It pisses me off in the same way butches who claim they don't 'clean', because that's 'women's work', but then refuse to 'take out the trash', because they're women too...you know what I mean?

Linus · 05-21-2010, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

I have a question for the transguys. I'm NOT asking anyone but transguys.

I'd like to know what y'all think about a transguy who is read as male, who wants to be read as male, who has had top surgery, and who is on hormones...but yet uses the women's restroom (on occasion), and who gets ticked off when women in the restroom get upset that he's in there.

Thanks,
Dylan

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

Grant,

I don't know the reason for his using it. I just heard the story about how he gave the lady (who complained) a bunch of shit and laughed at her.

Personally, I find it completely disrespectful, and honestly, I kind of wanted to kick his ass. I mean, A) I don't understand why you would pound your fist about being male only to then use the ladies' room and B) I don't understand why you would intentionally make women uncomfortable.

And frankly, it pisses me off. I don't know exactly WHY it pisses me off, but it does. I mean, I can't imagine any other man I would *allow* to use the women's room, and then give women shit when they get upset that there's a man in the restroom. And I also don't understand WHY you would want to use the women's restroom EXCEPT to start shit.

Dylan

P.S. It pisses me off in the same way butches who claim they don't 'clean', because that's 'women's work', but then refuse to 'take out the trash', because they're women too...you know what I mean?

Seriously, I'd want to kick his ass. He's just being a jerk. Do you know where the story originates from? The reason I ask is I wonder if it's a place that has gender protections on washrooms. He may be abusing it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

I start t on tuesday

Congrats, Jet! You must be excited! Do you know if it will be shots or cream?

Thinker · 05-21-2010, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

And I also don't understand WHY you would want to use the women's restroom EXCEPT to start shit.

My sentiments exactly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

I start t on tuesday

I'm happy for you, Parker. Let us know how it goes.

CamBAMF · 06-11-2010, 01:38 AM

Hey Everyone!

I have a question; and it may be a little silly.

So, I never (and I mean never) went to Gynaecolist. Once, before I even knew I was trans, I had a breast exam done by a family doctor, who also went to make sure all the parts down below were still in working condition. Fortunately I had my period and that exam never took place.

Very lately I've been thinking/ worring that maybe I should see one. I mean I am a sexually active trans-guy. I rarely use any kind of protection. If for nothing else, I should be seeing someone for a base exam.

1) If you're pre-op (top and bottom) do you still need to see a doctor for your genital regions.
2)If so how often are you suppose to go? Do you still have to get like anual mamograms
3)What kind of doctor are you suppose to see? (I mean I feel like they'll totally laugh at me if I walk into an OBGYN's office)

Dylan · 06-11-2010, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CamBAMF

1) If you're pre-op (top and bottom) do you still need to see a doctor for your genital regions.
2)If so how often are you suppose to go? Do you still have to get like anual mamograms
3)What kind of doctor are you suppose to see? (I mean I feel like they'll totally laugh at me if I walk into an OBGYN's office)

1. Yes. Some doctors will require you see one before they prescribe T

2. Supposedly, you should go yearly. You don't have to have annual mammograms until you're over 40 (unless you have a family history)

3. Try Planned Parenthood. Or you can ask your endo (whomever you use for your T prescription) to recommend someone or to do it.

Dylan

theoddz · 05-21-2010, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

Grant,

I don't know the reason for his using it. I just heard the story about how he gave the lady (who complained) a bunch of shit and laughed at her.

Personally, I find it completely disrespectful, and honestly, I kind of wanted to kick his ass. I mean, A) I don't understand why you would pound your fist about being male only to then use the ladies' room and B) I don't understand why you would intentionally make women uncomfortable.

And frankly, it pisses me off. I don't know exactly WHY it pisses me off, but it does. I mean, I can't imagine any other man I would *allow* to use the women's room, and then give women shit when they get upset that there's a man in the restroom. And I also don't understand WHY you would want to use the women's restroom EXCEPT to start shit.

Dylan

P.S. It pisses me off in the same way butches who claim they don't 'clean', because that's 'women's work', but then refuse to 'take out the trash', because they're women too...you know what I mean?

Dylan, I totally agree with what you said above. I, too, find it incredibly disrespectful and question what this guy's real motivation is in doing this.

Of course, this world is made of many kinds of people, and there are those out there who do and say shit just for the "shock value". These kinds of people are going to be "in your face" about everything. Pop always calls them "shit disturbers". At the core of it, however, is just a blatant disrespect for other people....and himself.

I would think, too, that if he's had his gender markers changed on his identification, he'd be in a hell of a pickle if these women decide to call the law. I wonder, then, if he'd demand to be put in the women's clink???

(I know there are other issues associated with jailing a transperson and all....this was just an amusing thought)

~Theo~

theoddz · 05-21-2010, 10:01 AM

Speaking of jailing a transperson, do any of you fellows/Ladies know how they handle that, especially if you've had your gender markers changed?? I've just always kinda wondered.

~Theo~

Linus · 05-21-2010, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theoddz

Speaking of jailing a transperson, do any of you fellows/Ladies know how they handle that, especially if you've had your gender markers changed?? I've just always kinda wondered.

~Theo~

See this link to get an idea: http://www.pamshouseblend.com/diary/...tor-it-or-shim

Dylan · 05-21-2010, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theoddz

Speaking of jailing a transperson, do any of you fellows/Ladies know how they handle that, especially if you've had your gender markers changed?? I've just always kinda wondered.

~Theo~

I don't know about other states, but here in the Great State O', you're put in women's prison. You also have to wear a bra (even if you've had top surgery), women's underwear, and if they really hate you...a dress. You don't get your hormones, either.

And this is even if you've had top and lower surgery (metoid...don't know about phallo)

Texas is especially heinous

Dylan

Jet · 06-10-2010, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

Grant,

I don't know the reason for his using it. I just heard the story about how he gave the lady (who complained) a bunch of shit and laughed at her.

Personally, I find it completely disrespectful, and honestly, I kind of wanted to kick his ass. I mean, A) I don't understand why you would pound your fist about being male only to then use the ladies' room and B) I don't understand why you would intentionally make women uncomfortable.

And frankly, it pisses me off. I don't know exactly WHY it pisses me off, but it does. I mean, I can't imagine any other man I would *allow* to use the women's room, and then give women shit when they get upset that there's a man in the restroom. And I also don't understand WHY you would want to use the women's restroom EXCEPT to start shit.

Dylan

P.S. It pisses me off in the same way butches who claim they don't 'clean', because that's 'women's work', but then refuse to 'take out the trash', because they're women too...you know what I mean?

I wonder if its just not accepting whats happening in being male and transiting..the comfort level may not be there yet.

atomiczombie · 05-21-2010, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

I start t on tuesday

Awesome bud! Let us know how it goes for you.

Greyson · 05-21-2010, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

I start t on tuesday

Parker, best wishes. Turning yet another page in your journey. Keep us posted.

theoddz · 05-21-2010, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

I start t on tuesday

Congrats to you, Parker!!!

You're going to feel so much better. (I did, so I hope you do, too.)

Let us know how it goes, eh??

~Theo~

06-11-2010, 01:38 AM	#11
CamBAMF Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Middletown, NJ Posts: 24 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14 Thanked 22 Times in 8 Posts Rep Power: 40	General Question Hey Everyone! I have a question; and it may be a little silly. So, I never (and I mean never) went to Gynaecolist. Once, before I even knew I was trans, I had a breast exam done by a family doctor, who also went to make sure all the parts down below were still in working condition. Fortunately I had my period and that exam never took place. Very lately I've been thinking/ worring that maybe I should see one. I mean I am a sexually active trans-guy. I rarely use any kind of protection. If for nothing else, I should be seeing someone for a base exam. 1) If you're pre-op (top and bottom) do you still need to see a doctor for your genital regions. 2)If so how often are you suppose to go? Do you still have to get like anual mamograms 3)What kind of doctor are you suppose to see? (I mean I feel like they'll totally laugh at me if I walk into an OBGYN's office) __________________ -Cameron http://i763.photobucket.com/albums/x...rs20de20-1.jpg ~Logic will get you from A to B but Imagination will take you Everywhere~

05-21-2010, 10:01 AM	#14
theoddz Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Cranky Old Poop Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. Beast Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,111 Thanked 9,927 Times in 2,509 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Speaking of jailing a transperson, do any of you fellows/Ladies know how they handle that, especially if you've had your gender markers changed?? I've just always kinda wondered. *~Theo~* __________________ *"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."* -- J. R. R. Tolkien

06-01-2014, 06:16 AM	#4
DJ4321 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Friendships Welcome Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 88 Times in 19 Posts Rep Power: 973265	I'm in the same boat

05-20-2010, 09:37 PM	#7
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	I start t on tuesday

05-20-2010, 09:45 PM	#8
Dylan Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: She thinks all my jokes are corny Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Great State O' Posts: 880 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,027 Thanked 1,838 Times in 500 Posts Rep Power: 0	Grant, I don't know the reason for his using it. I just heard the story about how he gave the lady (who complained) a bunch of shit and laughed at her. Personally, I find it completely disrespectful, and honestly, I kind of wanted to kick his ass. I mean, A) I don't understand why you would pound your fist about being male only to then use the ladies' room and B) I don't understand why you would intentionally make women uncomfortable. And frankly, it pisses me off. I don't know exactly WHY it pisses me off, but it does. I mean, I can't imagine any other man I would allow to use the women's room, and then give women shit when they get upset that there's a man in the restroom. And I also don't understand WHY you would want to use the women's restroom EXCEPT to start shit. Dylan P.S. It pisses me off in the same way butches who claim they don't 'clean', because that's 'women's work', but then refuse to 'take out the trash', because they're women too...you know what I mean?