Reactions to Embracing Your Femme(ness)

2qt · 08-20-2012, 07:30 PM

Great topic..

For me it when I first began to date women, I never really understood what I was attracted to I just knew I was attracted to women....

My 1st date and relationship was with a femme woman it wasn't a very lasting relationship because something inside me felt odd, strange, a sense of it not fitting....

I shrugged it off as just 2 people with 2 different goals in life and left it at that...

A little along the track I met another woman I connected with who happened to be femme again and again the same road led to a short term relationship of confusion, it was at this point that I began to question myself and my sexuality all over again, it was like I put myself back into a closet and I was feeling suffocated....

I remember thinking perhaps my parents are right, this was just a phase in my life and I would meet a man and fall in love and so it was, I met a man I had the wedding the white picket fence and soon a beautiful baby girl but something was still missing and my marriage failed....

After this I took some much needed self discovery into who I was, what I liked, what attracted me....A friend of mine came over who asked me to join her at a butch/femme dance curious at what it all meant I decided to give it a try...

Which is where I met an amazing woman whom just so happened to be a butch woman...

For the first time every started to fit, all those pieces that was missing was found in one person, when she brought me flowers I never had the feeling of it being wrong, when she held me in her arms it never felt confusing it just felt like home...

So that's when I began to accept and understand that my identity was a femme woman, and I was very much attracted to butch women...

Naturally having this idea has sparked much fuel in my life with my friends and others believing that labels are fake or a waste of time in fact I even had one go as far to tell me I was racist to my own kind lol but in the end....

I do identify to a label because it's not about being a label it's about being comfortable with who I am inside, it's about knowing what I can feel for another without force being involved, loving another femme woman for me felt forced, it felt empty and had no meaning for me....

I love the dynamics of a butch/femme relationship....I love my shopping, I love my shoes, I love my dresses, I love who I am as a person (Yes crazy emotions and all) and I need the opposite to balance me and make me whole....

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08-20-2012, 07:30 PM	#9
2qt Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her.. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Mothership Posts: 873 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 861 Thanked 1,966 Times in 582 Posts Rep Power: 15312204	Great topic.. For me it when I first began to date women, I never really understood what I was attracted to I just knew I was attracted to women.... My 1st date and relationship was with a femme woman it wasn't a very lasting relationship because something inside me felt odd, strange, a sense of it not fitting.... I shrugged it off as just 2 people with 2 different goals in life and left it at that... A little along the track I met another woman I connected with who happened to be femme again and again the same road led to a short term relationship of confusion, it was at this point that I began to question myself and my sexuality all over again, it was like I put myself back into a closet and I was feeling suffocated.... I remember thinking perhaps my parents are right, this was just a phase in my life and I would meet a man and fall in love and so it was, I met a man I had the wedding the white picket fence and soon a beautiful baby girl but something was still missing and my marriage failed.... After this I took some much needed self discovery into who I was, what I liked, what attracted me....A friend of mine came over who asked me to join her at a butch/femme dance curious at what it all meant I decided to give it a try... Which is where I met an amazing woman whom just so happened to be a butch woman... For the first time every started to fit, all those pieces that was missing was found in one person, when she brought me flowers I never had the feeling of it being wrong, when she held me in her arms it never felt confusing it just felt like home... So that's when I began to accept and understand that my identity was a femme woman, and I was very much attracted to butch women... Naturally having this idea has sparked much fuel in my life with my friends and others believing that labels are fake or a waste of time in fact I even had one go as far to tell me I was racist to my own kind lol but in the end.... I do identify to a label because it's not about being a label it's about being comfortable with who I am inside, it's about knowing what I can feel for another without force being involved, loving another femme woman for me felt forced, it felt empty and had no meaning for me.... I love the dynamics of a butch/femme relationship....I love my shopping, I love my shoes, I love my dresses, I love who I am as a person (Yes crazy emotions and all) and I need the opposite to balance me and make me whole....