Passing - Is it a Privilege?

[always2late]

I never gave much thought to privilege, until my ex and I were having dinner at a very nice restaurant and she asked me to come with her to the bathroom to "run interference". And then it hit me how much I take for granted. I can walk into a bathroom anywhere without being harassed, having someone call security, or even (and this has happened to my ex) having some woman grab me before I walk in and yell that I am going into the wrong bathroom.

Although I never realized it, or even really thought about it, I am afforded a great amount of privilege because I don't "look gay". I was never abused in school or targeted by bullies, I have never been denied a job just because of who I am, I have never been harassed on the street, I have never been smirked at, yelled at, cursed at, lectured to, or had someone attempt to "save" me. My son is not teased, and when I take him to the park I am not looked at surreptitiously and suspiciously. I make no secret of the fact that I am gay, but I can't deny that I get a pass because of the way I look.