The Femme Continuum: The "Highs" and "Lows" of Visibility

[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by June

I don't care for the way "we" are censored due to language or perceived lack of decorum by other members of our community. As though we were not ladylike enough, or genteel enough.

I want to have strong opinions, strong language and strong emotions without someone shaking their goddamn finger at me and trying to shame me into hushing. I want people to stop acting like they're my "Daddy" just because I am a Femme. I want us to be able to fuck whomever we want, whenever we want and not be called Whores or Sluts and have our morals called into question*.

I want us to stop apologizing because we pass as straight much of the time. It is what it is, and we have nothing to explain or apologize for.



*June isn't allowed to date

There is a person I have met on several occasions, who lives in the area. She identifies as a top/daddy type. The first time I met her, I walked into a gay bar where I was meeting others...she immediately bombarded me a VERY assertive schpeel... -was I new in town-, -where was I from-, -am I kinky-, etc. Upon further conversation, she asked me if I had gotten involved in the local BDSM scene. At the time, I had been to a few meet-ups and networked a bit... but wasn't really "in" it. She proceeded to try to "top" me... and I don't mean in a physical sense, but energetically and verbally. I don't even know if I could explain it, but I could just feel it, almost like a predator. She gave me her business card and said if I "really wanted to get connected to the "right" scene, to call her. The other groups in town were a "mess", "too soft" etc. She asked for my info and I said, "Look, I'm not a bottom and I do not give out my number." She gave me a shocked look and said, "Well, keep my card, you'll change your mind" and winked at me.

Now I realize we are all not like this... (Looking at Snowy )

I am femme. Probably considered very femme, by appearances. It pisses me off that there is a stereotype attached to us, that we are all bottoms/subs, etc. I can be whatever the fuck I want.

In the world we all make assumptions about people, everyday. I wish that in my OWN community this didn't happen... but I don't know if that is possible.