the Femme Rules the Butch Rules

[Toughy]

I actually find the thing sexist period. It is offensive to any and all female-bodied/woman folks. It is also offensive to men of all stripes.

It plays on stereotypical gender roles and frames any and all women as...........well Snow put it best.....something about controlling cunts. It makes men stupid and passive nitwits also.

I don't believe Nerd has come close to getting flamed. Nerd has not even received an ass bite, much less a chomping. We are becoming nice...........mmmmmmmmmmm

[waxnrope]

Is there a dentist in the house?

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I actually find the thing sexist period. It is offensive to any and all female-bodied/woman folks. It is also offensive to men of all stripes.

It plays on stereotypical gender roles and frames any and all women as...........well Snow put it best.....something about controlling cunts. It makes men stupid and passive nitwits also.

I don't believe Nerd has come close to getting flamed. Nerd has not even received an ass bite, much less a chomping. We are becoming nice...........mmmmmmmmmmm

There is no question in my mind the OP in it's entirety was offensive and sexist, among other descriptives. However...

I am going to make the assumption that Nerd is either young or perhaps based on their geographic location (Netherlands) might not have been afforded the intellectual environment so many of us had in this community, by our community. Again, I might be insulting Nerd this very moment with my very assumptions.

Personally, after reading each and every post -- I am feeling more positive, in that this has turned into an open ground for communication. If we give ass whoopin's and beat down a person, who perhaps just doesn't get it, because they don't have the same experiences as us. We might turn somebody away, who might make a difference in our community one day. I have been out for 30 years in this community, but there was a time, when I was just plain young and stupid and thankfully... I had older femmes and butches to sit down with me and have open conversations, without feeling shamed.

Just remember this... If it were not for the strength of the butches and femmes before us, where might we be? We have a responsibility to our younger generations and those coming out, to guide and educate, so they in turn can help another. Otherwise, where will we be in a hundred years?

Julie

[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme

There is no question in my mind the OP in it's entirety was offensive and sexist, among other descriptives. However...

I am going to make the assumption that Nerd is either young or perhaps based on their geographic location (Netherlands) might not have been afforded the intellectual environment so many of us had in this community, by our community. Again, I might be insulting Nerd this very moment with my very assumptions.

Personally, after reading each and every post -- I am feeling more positive, in that this has turned into an open ground for communication. If we give ass whoopin's and beat down a person, who perhaps just doesn't get it, because they don't have the same experiences as us. We might turn somebody away, who might make a difference in our community one day. I have been out for 30 years in this community, but there was a time, when I was just plain young and stupid and thankfully... I had older femmes and butches to sit down with me and have open conversations, without feeling shamed.

Just remember this... If it were not for the strength of the butches and femmes before us, where might we be? We have a responsibility to our younger generations and those coming out, to guide and educate, so they in turn can help another. Otherwise, where will we be in a hundred years?

Julie

THANK YOU JULIE

When I came into the BF community about 6/7 years ago... I had a bit to learn. Even though I grew up with Queer all around me, I did not have the "luxury" of the BF dynamic around me, so I joined several sites with the intent of learning and figuring my shit out.

I am so grateful to those who helped me, taught me, were generous enough to share knowledge and history with me. Yes, sometimes I got the snark, but I took it in stride, because it balanced out with the actual education I received.

I don't expect everyone to become an "educator" or have the patience to understand those who are still trying to figure it out... I am just glad some did (and hopefully still do)

Yes, I agree this kind of poll is sexist and heteronormative (2nding what many have said better before me) ...but sometimes I think we are really quick to lambaste someone...without first asking questions.

I should say this was much more calm than in the past - YAY progress!-

[ravfem]

i was telling a friend about this thread and that for whatever reason, the use of the word "stupid" to describe the original post rubbed me the wrong way.

She pointed out something i hadn't thought about...

Although i've never been called stupid (that i can remember), i've always thought the word was just rude. She reminded me that just because i feel that way about the word doesn't mean everyone does. Like a lot of words/phrases, it means different things to different people, and is used in different ways.

So yeah, i think that's why it bothered me enough to post.

A ha-ha: When my son was small, i taught him that the word stupid was a bad word and shouldn't be used. He was playing with a friend one day and ran into the house to tattle, "mama! he said the "s" word!!"