The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

[Maverick]

Hey all! Just turned 50 here. Hard to believe how time flies these days and yet still feel young in a lot of ways. I have a question for all of you...I'm thinking of changing my name but I feel a little silly doing it now at my age. I've lived with a name I never liked or felt comfortable with my whole life and, now that I'm older I'm thinking about changing it to something I think fits me better. So, what do you all think? Should I just stick with my old name that everyone knows me by or change it up and go for a new name? Does it even really matter what people call me after all this time?

Thanks all..Maverick

[LadyRieinAL]

I think, how wonderful that you can allow yourself to grow and change and be who you want to be in any given moment.
Sweet one it is all about you - and you can change it and if it doesn't feel good, or right, the beauty is, you can always change it back.

What matters most is what DOES feel good to you.

[Jaques]

Originally Posted by Maverick

Hey all! Just turned 50 here. Hard to believe how time flies these days and yet still feel young in a lot of ways. I have a question for all of you...I'm thinking of changing my name but I feel a little silly doing it now at my age. I've lived with a name I never liked or felt comfortable with my whole life and, now that I'm older I'm thinking about changing it to something I think fits me better. So, what do you all think? Should I just stick with my old name that everyone knows me by or change it up and go for a new name? Does it even really matter what people call me after all this time?

Thanks all..Maverick

...........hi maverick, i was in my mid 50's when i changed my name from Jacquelyn to Jaques, which everyone called me anyway. I did it because of transitioning, after a lot of thought (years) and didnt change my surname. I dont feel age has any bearing on if/ when a person changes a name rather than the reason, i.e. is it about identity or a need for change (or both)? In the Bible its said that Saul who was at one time a violent man, changed his name to Paul and with that changed his behaviour. Monks and nuns of various religions take new names when entering their chosen way of life. I do feel names, even their sound, have energetic vibrations which go out into the Universe. When your name is spoken out loud, given that vibration is the sound constantly associated with 'you' can mean that if you change your name, you may change what is associated with you.
This is why I decided to change my name as little as possible - i.e. I couldnt live as male with a name like Jacquelyn!
I hope you decide what is right for you, all the best.

[Darbonaire]

Do It Maverick! It's your name, your right, & if you truly feel as if you want to move forward in life with a name YOU like & choose......go for it. I did in my 30's & I don't regret it a bit.........good luck with your decision........if it's YOUR decision it will be the right one......

[morningstar55]

Morning loft dwellers n peekers....... maverick,i say do ht also.... and when its all said nd done u will feel so much better bowling when i was in my teens i held the record title for a yr for gutter champ

[morningstar55]

(((((((Ruth))))))))))) hope u have a speedy recovery

[LadyRain]

changed my first..middle and last name a few years ago. I never liked my middle name and it did not mean anything then sounding good with my first. Its empowering to re-name yourself!!

Originally Posted by Maverick

Hey all! Just turned 50 here. Hard to believe how time flies these days and yet still feel young in a lot of ways. I have a question for all of you...I'm thinking of changing my name but I feel a little silly doing it now at my age. I've lived with a name I never liked or felt comfortable with my whole life and, now that I'm older I'm thinking about changing it to something I think fits me better. So, what do you all think? Should I just stick with my old name that everyone knows me by or change it up and go for a new name? Does it even really matter what people call me after all this time?

Thanks all..Maverick

[Maverick]

Thanks everyone for your input and support. I'm still deciding whether to do it or not and, at the advice of a close friend and my partner I'm looking into a nickname instead possibly. I'm not hot about the idea but I'm told that people don't like the name I've chosen for myself. I like the name and I know that's what matters so I may just have to get butch and stick with it regardless lol.

Also, I want to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! to all the mothers out there.

Mav

[deedarino]

Originally Posted by Maverick

Thanks everyone for your input and support. I'm still deciding whether to do it or not and, at the advice of a close friend and my partner I'm looking into a nickname instead possibly. I'm not hot about the idea but I'm told that people don't like the name I've chosen for myself. I like the name and I know that's what matters so I may just have to get butch and stick with it regardless lol.

Also, I want to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! to all the mothers out there.

Mav

One of the cool things about getting older is not feeling the need to live for everyone else. It wasn't always that way.

Spend the rest of your years with a name that makes you happy.

[OS Butch]

Good morning. It is a rainy day here in Washington DC. That means I might have the day off from work...I am on stand by right now....playing solitare and having coffee. Have a great day!

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by Maverick

Thanks everyone for your input and support. I'm still deciding whether to do it or not and, at the advice of a close friend and my partner I'm looking into a nickname instead possibly. I'm not hot about the idea but I'm told that people don't like the name I've chosen for myself. I like the name and I know that's what matters so I may just have to get butch and stick with it regardless lol.

Also, I want to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! to all the mothers out there.

Mav

Dude, I have several names. Legally, my birth name, Joan. Lots of people call me Jo. I wanted a more Butch name than my given name, yet still ummm ...female name. Others call me JJ and Joan and my family calls me Joanie.

Maybe it is an age thing, but really what is in a name? In my opinion, the only time it really matters is in legal papers. My dad found that out at some point because his birth certificate had not been changed from "Baby XXXX" His parents hadn't decided on a name!

You can be called whatever you want. Just tell people that you prefer to be called..whatever you want, then at some point you want to change it legally, do it, but remember it can be a tedious process so make sure you don't have to do it again because you might not really like it anymore.

[morningstar55]

Morning loft dwellers and peekers. ..... thats kinda funny jo... ur dad's real name is XXX? ..... .. anyways still no lap top.. ""sigh " oh well .. have a great day everyone

[morningstar55]

Ok i need a lil vent... and maybe some helpful advice....... seems lately, few times i been around my sister in law.. she has brought up my x co drives name and make.comments nd quesa, why he looks and seems to b like a man... ..i say.. he ah was born that way. Then she wil try 2 disbute that , then i get defensive , i then just leave the room. Ya knw , even though it did not work out driving with my co driver nd i.. i Will, defend his gender and rights.

[morningstar55]

Gues just some thougts , ideas how 2 handle her attitude .. my sister n law can b annoying

[morningstar55]

Yay, picking up a load via Rochester...and heading 2..... Shreveport lousy ana...ha.... gonna have 2 do a ten hr break along the way somewhere ...about 8 9 hrs frm now .... anyways have a nice evening lofters

[morningstar55]

Morning loft dwellers and peekers .. i cant believe being a member of a web site , that is supposed 2 b a great source for support ,and friendships.... that i didnt get any thought on ideas how 2 handle people like my sister in law.. maybe sm of you experienced these kind of questions and such. Anyways hope everyone is having a great weekend.

[ruthie14]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Ok i need a lil vent... and maybe some helpful advice....... seems lately, few times i been around my sister in law.. she has brought up my x co drives name and make.comments nd quesa, why he looks and seems to b like a man... ..i say.. he ah was born that way. Then she wil try 2 disbute that , then i get defensive , i then just leave the room. Ya knw , even though it did not work out driving with my co driver nd i.. i Will, defend his gender and rights.

Hey Morningstar... haven't been on since last week so I didn't see your post. Some people will just never see the truth. Nor do they want to. If it were me, next time she brings it up, I would tell her the subject is off limits... if she insisted, I would leave the room. That's just me. I applaud your defense of him, but as you have done so, she knows how you feel, and she still is annoying about... then this is more about annoying you and than about her prejudice against people who are different than herself. Just my opinion, but for me, I would change the subject or walk out of the room.

Hope your laptop gets fixed!!! That must suck!

hugs,
Ruthie

[Viola]

Hi Morningstar55,

I don't understand your sister thinking for others. Does anyone ever think for your sister, what does your sister do when others think for her...

Why do people do that think for others, like as they know and so push their thinking - thinking all must think like them... Why do they do that?

I know I have flaws where I need to work on myself and if anyone brings it to my attention what I'm doing that's hurting others or offending, I want to change the way how I treat others.

So my next question is: if people don't want to hear how they're offending so then they can take a closer look at themselves to change, why is it that they don't want to know in order to change?

For me, I want to be pleasant to be around and I'd found there's times I'm not pleasant at all, and so I figure it out after wards what am I doing that's make me not be enjoyable to be around, and I seek to learn at least one thing so I can try something different in order to change.

But then again, I've been told I work so hard on myself and why is that., and also I've been told I'm so hard on my self., so maybe there's needs to be balance in this too...

Your sister so busy thinking for others how others must think, that would drive me crazy to be around her, cause there's no freedom of thought and no freedom to be one self...

However your sister puzzles me too., as is it her pride, but what is pride then that she has?

Why can't she learn, if she doesn't understand, can't there be a way where she can learn as she accepts, cause maybe she's confused, but a person can be confused while accepting, I mean, there's times I'm confused, and there's even times I'm confused about myself...

So the thought of completely understanding everything, no that I can't even do all the time, sometimes I don't understand however I can accept the person and learn a new perspective through the persons eyes...

I am only me and see only through my eyes, oh what a gift when I can see through other eyes as I learn through their teaching me their perspective.

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Ok i need a lil vent... and maybe some helpful advice....... seems lately, few times i been around my sister in law.. she has brought up my x co drives name and make.comments nd quesa, why he looks and seems to b like a man... ..i say.. he ah was born that way. Then she wil try 2 disbute that , then i get defensive , i then just leave the room. Ya knw , even though it did not work out driving with my co driver nd i.. i Will, defend his gender and rights.