The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

[Maverick]

Thanks everyone for your input and support. I'm still deciding whether to do it or not and, at the advice of a close friend and my partner I'm looking into a nickname instead possibly. I'm not hot about the idea but I'm told that people don't like the name I've chosen for myself. I like the name and I know that's what matters so I may just have to get butch and stick with it regardless lol.

Also, I want to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! to all the mothers out there.

Mav

[deedarino]

Originally Posted by Maverick

Thanks everyone for your input and support. I'm still deciding whether to do it or not and, at the advice of a close friend and my partner I'm looking into a nickname instead possibly. I'm not hot about the idea but I'm told that people don't like the name I've chosen for myself. I like the name and I know that's what matters so I may just have to get butch and stick with it regardless lol.

Also, I want to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! to all the mothers out there.

Mav

One of the cool things about getting older is not feeling the need to live for everyone else. It wasn't always that way.

Spend the rest of your years with a name that makes you happy.

[OS Butch]

Good morning. It is a rainy day here in Washington DC. That means I might have the day off from work...I am on stand by right now....playing solitare and having coffee. Have a great day!

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by Maverick

Thanks everyone for your input and support. I'm still deciding whether to do it or not and, at the advice of a close friend and my partner I'm looking into a nickname instead possibly. I'm not hot about the idea but I'm told that people don't like the name I've chosen for myself. I like the name and I know that's what matters so I may just have to get butch and stick with it regardless lol.

Also, I want to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! to all the mothers out there.

Mav

Dude, I have several names. Legally, my birth name, Joan. Lots of people call me Jo. I wanted a more Butch name than my given name, yet still ummm ...female name. Others call me JJ and Joan and my family calls me Joanie.

Maybe it is an age thing, but really what is in a name? In my opinion, the only time it really matters is in legal papers. My dad found that out at some point because his birth certificate had not been changed from "Baby XXXX" His parents hadn't decided on a name!

You can be called whatever you want. Just tell people that you prefer to be called..whatever you want, then at some point you want to change it legally, do it, but remember it can be a tedious process so make sure you don't have to do it again because you might not really like it anymore.

[morningstar55]

Morning loft dwellers and peekers. ..... thats kinda funny jo... ur dad's real name is XXX? ..... .. anyways still no lap top.. ""sigh " oh well .. have a great day everyone

[morningstar55]

Ok i need a lil vent... and maybe some helpful advice....... seems lately, few times i been around my sister in law.. she has brought up my x co drives name and make.comments nd quesa, why he looks and seems to b like a man... ..i say.. he ah was born that way. Then she wil try 2 disbute that , then i get defensive , i then just leave the room. Ya knw , even though it did not work out driving with my co driver nd i.. i Will, defend his gender and rights.

[morningstar55]

Gues just some thougts , ideas how 2 handle her attitude .. my sister n law can b annoying

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Gues just some thougts , ideas how 2 handle her attitude .. my sister n law can b annoying

One of my mom's favorite things is triumph in silence. Sometimes just walking away is a statement in itself.

Then there is the other hand....Opinions are like a$$holes, everyone has got one. Unfortunately, your sister-in-law has more than her share

[Girl Friday]

Originally Posted by OS Butch

<snip>
One of my mom's favorite things is triumph in silence. Sometimes just walking away is a statement in itself.

I like this. It's classy and it doesn't escalate things. It doesn't contribute to drama and it gives everyone a chance to breathe and rethink things.

Originally Posted by rustedrims

Same thing..
Ask your sister-in-law if she wants to take your x driver shopping.?.
Say she has tuesdays off and can probly be ready around 11-11:30 and she will probly buy you lunch..Just throw it back at her..Tell her your x driver might need some new under clothes to..That might get her shopping for boxers or tightey whites for a butch woman..

This shows a sense of humor if nothing else. Sometimes humor is the only way to deal with difficult people. Laughing usually has the effect of shutting them up or confusing them. Either way they've got something else to think about besides whatever they were being ridiculous about.

[morningstar55]

Yay, picking up a load via Rochester...and heading 2..... Shreveport lousy ana...ha.... gonna have 2 do a ten hr break along the way somewhere ...about 8 9 hrs frm now .... anyways have a nice evening lofters

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Yay, picking up a load via Rochester...and heading 2..... Shreveport lousy ana...ha.... gonna have 2 do a ten hr break along the way somewhere ...about 8 9 hrs frm now .... anyways have a nice evening lofters

Be safe out there. I am sure you are gonna run into rain along the way.

[morningstar55]

Morning loft dwellers and peekers .. i cant believe being a member of a web site , that is supposed 2 b a great source for support ,and friendships.... that i didnt get any thought on ideas how 2 handle people like my sister in law.. maybe sm of you experienced these kind of questions and such. Anyways hope everyone is having a great weekend.

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Morning loft dwellers and peekers .. i cant believe being a member of a web site , that is supposed 2 b a great source for support ,and friendships.... that i didnt get any thought on ideas how 2 handle people like my sister in law.. maybe sm of you experienced these kind of questions and such. Anyways hope everyone is having a great weekend.

I guess I don't count And here I thought I was being supportive.

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by OS Butch

I guess I don't count And here I thought I was being supportive.

omg((((((((((((((((((OS)))))))))))))))) lol you always count... in more ways then one.. heh... i do have a ? ........ have you ever encountered someone quiestioning you.. on who you are?? the way you dress etc??? how do you handle it??

(((((ruth)))) wishing you a speedy recovery

rusty ...... when are we gonna meet up for a ice cream ??? err or a coffee?? lol
yes have had nights i couldnt sleep.....
im in canada cant play words till i get bk to state side... BUT tis truck stop here has FREE internet and computers... HA!!!
anyways .......... i gos to go ...
have a good day everyone.

[ruthie14]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Ok i need a lil vent... and maybe some helpful advice....... seems lately, few times i been around my sister in law.. she has brought up my x co drives name and make.comments nd quesa, why he looks and seems to b like a man... ..i say.. he ah was born that way. Then she wil try 2 disbute that , then i get defensive , i then just leave the room. Ya knw , even though it did not work out driving with my co driver nd i.. i Will, defend his gender and rights.

Hey Morningstar... haven't been on since last week so I didn't see your post. Some people will just never see the truth. Nor do they want to. If it were me, next time she brings it up, I would tell her the subject is off limits... if she insisted, I would leave the room. That's just me. I applaud your defense of him, but as you have done so, she knows how you feel, and she still is annoying about... then this is more about annoying you and than about her prejudice against people who are different than herself. Just my opinion, but for me, I would change the subject or walk out of the room.

Hope your laptop gets fixed!!! That must suck!

hugs,
Ruthie

[ruthie14]

Morning lofters, turned 50 in march and because of time constraints, finally had my party yesterday. I had a 60's theme (although few dressed the part). People were lovely, had a wonderful time, except I had a small migraine most of the day. After folks left, it got worse and I ended up at the er. Mom took me and we didn't get home until 4:30 am. Birds were singing. oye.

Beautiful weather today... going to hang out and relax.

Have a wonderful sunday!
Ruthie

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by ruthie14

Hey Morningstar... haven't been on since last week so I didn't see your post. Some people will just never see the truth. Nor do they want to. If it were me, next time she brings it up, I would tell her the subject is off limits... if she insisted, I would leave the room. That's just me. I applaud your defense of him, but as you have done so, she knows how you feel, and she still is annoying about... then this is more about annoying you and than about her prejudice against people who are different than herself. Just my opinion, but for me, I would change the subject or walk out of the room.

Hope your laptop gets fixed!!! That must suck!

hugs,
Ruthie

Ty .... agree.... this last time i did , leave the room.. i was kinda surprised she brought it up... AGAIN....and as soon as i walked in the door. And i noticed oter people sitting there.... i got a lil aggravated , and told hr im not talking about it cuz i already gave u answers.. b4....so i left the room.

[rustedrims]

ok Star...

I havent been in here for a long time..Had a little un-wanted stress for a few months..I will make myself visiable and tell you the perfect thing to say to your sister-in-law..This will make her speachless or get her to studder..

Let her come to you do not approach her..
When she ask you those questions again look her right in the eye and say -Are you asking for yourself or for a friend.??.-Look her in the eye and dont blink..Let her walk away from you and do not walk away from her..
If she still wants to pursue the subject say -cause i can hook ya up.- Keep looking in her eyes and do not walk away from her..Stay on her about hooking her up and tell her you can see couriousity in her eyes..

Try that and let me know how it goes..I have said it a few times to guys at work and it is very entertaining to watch them squirm and studder..
good luck..

[Viola]

Hi Morningstar55,

I don't understand your sister thinking for others. Does anyone ever think for your sister, what does your sister do when others think for her...

Why do people do that think for others, like as they know and so push their thinking - thinking all must think like them... Why do they do that?

I know I have flaws where I need to work on myself and if anyone brings it to my attention what I'm doing that's hurting others or offending, I want to change the way how I treat others.

So my next question is: if people don't want to hear how they're offending so then they can take a closer look at themselves to change, why is it that they don't want to know in order to change?

For me, I want to be pleasant to be around and I'd found there's times I'm not pleasant at all, and so I figure it out after wards what am I doing that's make me not be enjoyable to be around, and I seek to learn at least one thing so I can try something different in order to change.

But then again, I've been told I work so hard on myself and why is that., and also I've been told I'm so hard on my self., so maybe there's needs to be balance in this too...

Your sister so busy thinking for others how others must think, that would drive me crazy to be around her, cause there's no freedom of thought and no freedom to be one self...

However your sister puzzles me too., as is it her pride, but what is pride then that she has?

Why can't she learn, if she doesn't understand, can't there be a way where she can learn as she accepts, cause maybe she's confused, but a person can be confused while accepting, I mean, there's times I'm confused, and there's even times I'm confused about myself...

So the thought of completely understanding everything, no that I can't even do all the time, sometimes I don't understand however I can accept the person and learn a new perspective through the persons eyes...

I am only me and see only through my eyes, oh what a gift when I can see through other eyes as I learn through their teaching me their perspective.

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Ok i need a lil vent... and maybe some helpful advice....... seems lately, few times i been around my sister in law.. she has brought up my x co drives name and make.comments nd quesa, why he looks and seems to b like a man... ..i say.. he ah was born that way. Then she wil try 2 disbute that , then i get defensive , i then just leave the room. Ya knw , even though it did not work out driving with my co driver nd i.. i Will, defend his gender and rights.

[AtLast]

OK, i like this thread, but have always been kind of put off by the title. The "over" bothers me. Why not just call it the "elders?" LOL, yes, I am an over and have to say that my 60's are most certainly of the finest vintage.... Yes, I might be being too sensitive, or politically correct. So, what do others that are 60 plus, think?