Unconditional Love... is it really unconditional?

kittygrrl · 09-27-2016, 08:48 AM

Unconditional means you never stop loving-that doesn't mean you approve or like-but love never dies-the universe is built on it

~ocean · 09-27-2016, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

Unconditional means you never stop loving-that doesn't mean you approve or like-but love never dies-the universe is built on it

Well said ~ you are the giver of that unconditional love ~ and at times a receiver

~ as long as you have felt that forgiving, accepting ,unjudgmental love u felt "unconditional love" ~

kittygrrl · 09-27-2016, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean

Well said ~ you are the giver of that unconditional love ~ and at times a receiver

~ as long as you have felt that forgiving, accepting ,unjudgmental love u felt "unconditional love" ~

I agree..real love doesn't end..it may change, but that is it's nature..it's the only thing we will have when we leave here

imperfect_cupcake · 09-27-2016, 09:36 AM

hmn. I've never had it in the romantic sense. No wait. That's wrong. I love my exwife. I care that she is ok. I wish she is happy. And I like to know she's doing ok. But I find her irritating, irresponsible, gets on my very last nerve, drives me batshit, and I wish she would get her shit together. I also can't truly forgive what she did. I don't mind being in light contact with her on occasion in fb, but I don't want to hang out with her, I don't want her interfering with my shit, but I do love her.

Love as an emotion on its own doesn't mean much. I have been absurd by people who loved me. Sincerely and definitely felt that emotions of love for me. It's someone's personality and functioning that matter. Emptions are just emotions. There is nothing wrong with anger. It's an emotion. It tells us something is wrong. It's how we use it, cope with it, and function with it. Love is no different.

Emotions are just feelings. They don't do things, they only occur. People enact emotions and those enactments matter. Not the emotions themselves.

ASo fucking what if someone loves me. Do they hit me? Do they lie? Are they a drunk? It makes about as much difference for someone who loves me and never acts on it as it doesn't for someone who loves me and never acts on it by neglecting me.

Someone could love you very much and it doesn't matter because you don't know, they don't interact with you and they keep their distance. Someone could love you and sexually assault you. Values and enactment is what matter. Emotions just are.

Signed
A complete pragmatist

Shystonefem · 09-27-2016, 10:33 AM

I believe that there is such thing as unconditional love. I love my family that way. I don't always like them but I love them.

I don't believe that "love never dies". I was very much in love with my ex but not at all now.
Caring if someone dies and loving then is very different, IMHO

kittygrrl · 09-27-2016, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shystonefem

I believe that there is such thing as unconditional love. I love my family that way. I don't always like them but I love them.

I don't believe that "love never dies". I was very much in love with my ex but not at all now.
Caring if someone dies and loving then is very different, IMHO

Romantic love is sometimes different, personality, life experience, maturity, etc makes it very individual. I can't comment on the experience of others just speaking of my own.

FireSignFemme · 09-27-2016, 12:11 PM

The only problem I have with the idea of unconditional love is that these days, so many people’s interpretation of what that actually means, seems to involve not holding others responsible/making them accountable for their behavior.

kittygrrl · 09-27-2016, 12:48 PM

Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, it can also be love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, or complete love. Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging.

It doesn't imply those who enjoy it enjoy no accountability. The whole point is, just because someone does unkind, mean, disrespectful things does not mean you stop loving them. If you love conditionally then you can't claim it was ever unconditional.

09-27-2016, 08:48 AM	#1
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: sipping on honey wine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,661 Thanked 22,084 Times in 7,162 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Unconditional means you never stop loving-that doesn't mean you approve or like-but love never dies-the universe is built on it __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

09-27-2016, 10:33 AM	#5
Shystonefem Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Shy for President Join Date: May 2014 Location: NH Posts: 1,105 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,475 Thanked 3,671 Times in 897 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	I believe that there is such thing as unconditional love. I love my family that way. I don't always like them but I love them. I don't believe that "love never dies". I was very much in love with my ex but not at all now. Caring if someone dies and loving then is very different, IMHO __________________ Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Lao Tzu

09-27-2016, 12:48 PM	#8
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: sipping on honey wine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,661 Thanked 22,084 Times in 7,162 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, it can also be love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, or complete love. Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging. It doesn't imply those who enjoy it enjoy no accountability. The whole point is, just because someone does unkind, mean, disrespectful things does not mean you stop loving them. If you love conditionally then you can't claim it was ever unconditional. __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

09-27-2016, 09:36 AM	#4
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	hmn. I've never had it in the romantic sense. No wait. That's wrong. I love my exwife. I care that she is ok. I wish she is happy. And I like to know she's doing ok. But I find her irritating, irresponsible, gets on my very last nerve, drives me batshit, and I wish she would get her shit together. I also can't truly forgive what she did. I don't mind being in light contact with her on occasion in fb, but I don't want to hang out with her, I don't want her interfering with my shit, but I do love her. Love as an emotion on its own doesn't mean much. I have been absurd by people who loved me. Sincerely and definitely felt that emotions of love for me. It's someone's personality and functioning that matter. Emptions are just emotions. There is nothing wrong with anger. It's an emotion. It tells us something is wrong. It's how we use it, cope with it, and function with it. Love is no different. Emotions are just feelings. They don't do things, they only occur. People enact emotions and those enactments matter. Not the emotions themselves. ASo fucking what if someone loves me. Do they hit me? Do they lie? Are they a drunk? It makes about as much difference for someone who loves me and never acts on it as it doesn't for someone who loves me and never acts on it by neglecting me. Someone could love you very much and it doesn't matter because you don't know, they don't interact with you and they keep their distance. Someone could love you and sexually assault you. Values and enactment is what matter. Emotions just are. Signed A complete pragmatist

09-27-2016, 12:11 PM	#7
FireSignFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: N/A Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: WA Posts: 4,434 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 37,962 Thanked 10,282 Times in 3,146 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	The only problem I have with the idea of unconditional love is that these days, so many people’s interpretation of what that actually means, seems to involve not holding others responsible/making them accountable for their behavior.