"Adult Only" or "Childless Weddings" - Page 4

The_Lady_Snow · 09-06-2013, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ravenouss

I never said an adult only space is not ok. Would you please point that out to me if I have done so?

My point, I believe, despite English being my first language is very clear: "someone is getting married, they should chose whoever they want to attend!"

*sigh*

I wasn't saying or implying you had, I even went as far as to send you a rep saying I was going to bounce off your post with a smiley face

to clarify.

That's it just bouncing off a post. My bad..............

Ravenouss · 09-06-2013, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

*sigh*

I wasn't saying or implying you had, I even went as far as to send you a rep saying I was going to bounce off your post with a smiley face

to clarify.

That's it just bouncing off a post. My bad..............

My bad for taking it personally. My apologies and thank you for the clarification.

The_Lady_Snow · 09-06-2013, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ravenouss

My bad for taking it personally. My apologies and thank you for the clarification.

Thank you for the communication

BullDog · 09-06-2013, 10:01 AM

I personally love kids at weddings- unless they are crying/screaming during the ceremony (of course that goes for disruptive behavior by adults too). I love seeing all the different generations of people at a wedding- the more variety the merrier.

I have never received an invitation for an adult-only wedding, but it wouldn't influence my decision on whether to go or not. I do think it is up to the couple getting married. Hopefully when couples get married they are considerate of their guests while also having the ceremony that is meaningful to them. You will never be able to please or accommodate everyone.

Ginger · 09-06-2013, 05:22 PM

I can't believe how I blanked this out through this whole thread, but when I was living with someone who had a kid, we were invited to an adult-only wedding.

It was two gay guys getting married, one of whom, ironically, has a kid who was a teenager then (and is now just starting college, and I'm mentoring him and helped them through the registration process).

Anyway, we got invited to this adult-only wedding, and since we had no childcare options, we didn't go.

I regret not having gone by myself, and more than that, I regret having told the friend why we couldn't go, because he felt guilted into making an exception (not what I wanted), which we declined.

It can be so awkward, life. I really like being home alone. It feels so soothing. And these dilemmas we're talking about aren't trite. They bring up all kinds of cultural, social, class issues.

BullDog · 09-06-2013, 06:13 PM

I have to say I have seen many more problems at weddings (reception any way) caused by adults who have had too much to drink than I have kids misbehaving.

For me, a wedding without kids sounds kind of bland. However, it is up to the people getting married.

Peach · 09-14-2013, 06:16 PM

I was at a wedding where two unattended kids, ate the back half the wedding cake, peed on the dance floor, spit on some of the food and screamed bloody murder when the parents finally tried to contain them during the toasts. This was an adult only event, the parents figured they didnt REALLY mean it, and were shocked when asked to control their children. I put the blame on the parents, first for bringing the kids, then letting them run wild, and their lack of respect for the people getting married. When they watched their wedding video, all you can hear during her fathers toast, were those kids screaming nonononono. fun, not.

Sweet Bliss · 09-14-2013, 07:11 PM

I have never been to a wedding that was that fancy. I have only attended backyard weddings with friends and family. Not being a partier you could find me with infants and toddlers helping new moms.

I loved rocking them to sleep or reading stories. Always been good at calming fussy babes.

An invitation is just that. Not an edict. I would hope that not accepting would not be taken as a personal affront.

Peach · 09-14-2013, 08:03 PM

I've been to both formal, and informal, some with kids some with none. The day belongs to those getting married, their wishes need to be honored, bottom line. As a guest, its isnt my place to say what should or shouldnt be. I went to one, was told what to bring (it was a pot luck reception) how much of it, where to shop for the food....I was told what to wear, organic fibers only.......what gift to bring, with them guessing as to my income, how much to spend! I sent a card, wished them well, and stayed home.

imperfect_cupcake · 03-05-2018, 12:09 PM

Oh totally, my friends make WAY more trouble than kids.

Which is why the reception was an adult only area. We didn't say this explicitly, and we did have the massive room upstairs,s for the kids on the floor between the master bedroom level and the ground floor dinning, reception, and kitchen.

We basically did what our parents did in the 70s. Back then you brought your kids to the party, put them in the basement with whatever games was their favourite, and the 2 oldest bascially got stuck with keeping mind.

At ours no toddlers/babies stayed past the first course of the buffet. They went home with their 2 mums.

The kids played upstairs, occasionally relatively soberish parent would check in. Slowly people went back to hotels, couches, guest rooms, etc with children.

but the adult only was not because kids cause damage LOL - I have caused far more damage than a child, I'm sure, in my 20s and early 30s, but BECAUSE we get *rowdy*
And more than likely someone is going to get naked at some point, and dance around like an idiot with mash potatoes on their arse (*yawn*), we did have to kick someone out for not being able to handle the pot in Amsterdam, And more than likely because there was quite a few UK club folk there, some form of unmentionables would be happening by one or two in the loo at some point and depending on their resulting state they might be mild and amusing people or guerning idiots I'd have to send home.

It was very, very fun, it did get messy, I broke a horse crop over inks arse at one point, I believe.

So... I don't think Adult Only Space is about having children "wreck" things. But about having "adult time to do adult things that kids would find boring or disturbing."

kittygrrl · 03-05-2018, 03:04 PM

I think it is up to the bride & her parents with the groom consulted..since it is the brides parents who will bear most of the cost of the wedding traditionally..it is a thoughtful addition to the invitation to include children if your budget permits but it's not a given. I consider most weddings adult affairs, as a general rule, and if you have a problem it is, don't go. RSVP of course.

Mel C. · 03-05-2018, 07:06 PM

I attended an Adult-only ceremony last year. I thought it was completely within the bride and groom's rights to decide whether they want children present (with the knowledge some parents may not be able to attend or may choose not to attend if they feel their children are being left out).

BTW, a couple brought their kid (maybe 8 years old) despite the bride and groom's request. THAT was classless.

~ocean · 03-05-2018, 08:13 PM

There's a time and place and if it's an all adult event so be it ~ it should be respected !

09-06-2013, 05:22 PM	#65
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,300 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I can't believe how I blanked this out through this whole thread, but when I was living with someone who had a kid, we were invited to an adult-only wedding. It was two gay guys getting married, one of whom, ironically, has a kid who was a teenager then (and is now just starting college, and I'm mentoring him and helped them through the registration process). Anyway, we got invited to this adult-only wedding, and since we had no childcare options, we didn't go. I regret not having gone by myself, and more than that, I regret having told the friend why we couldn't go, because he felt guilted into making an exception (not what I wanted), which we declined. It can be so awkward, life. I really like being home alone. It feels so soothing. And these dilemmas we're talking about aren't trite. They bring up all kinds of cultural, social, class issues. __________________ Reach out.

03-05-2018, 03:04 PM	#71
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: wildflower Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in raindrops Posts: 9,224 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,543 Thanked 21,858 Times in 7,003 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I think it is up to the bride & her parents with the groom consulted..since it is the brides parents who will bear most of the cost of the wedding traditionally..it is a thoughtful addition to the invitation to include children if your budget permits but it's not a given. I consider most weddings adult affairs, as a general rule, and if you have a problem it is, don't go. RSVP of course. __________________ "MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN"

03-05-2018, 08:13 PM	#73
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,056 Times in 4,731 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	There's a time and place and if it's an all adult event so be it ~ it should be respected ! __________________ ~ Always, ocean

09-06-2013, 10:01 AM	#64
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,691 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I personally love kids at weddings- unless they are crying/screaming during the ceremony (of course that goes for disruptive behavior by adults too). I love seeing all the different generations of people at a wedding- the more variety the merrier. I have never received an invitation for an adult-only wedding, but it wouldn't influence my decision on whether to go or not. I do think it is up to the couple getting married. Hopefully when couples get married they are considerate of their guests while also having the ceremony that is meaningful to them. You will never be able to please or accommodate everyone.

09-06-2013, 06:13 PM	#66
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,691 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have to say I have seen many more problems at weddings (reception any way) caused by adults who have had too much to drink than I have kids misbehaving. For me, a wedding without kids sounds kind of bland. However, it is up to the people getting married.

09-14-2013, 06:16 PM	#67
Peach Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: happily married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where my hat is Posts: 173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 69 Thanked 640 Times in 129 Posts Rep Power: 5775547	I was at a wedding where two unattended kids, ate the back half the wedding cake, peed on the dance floor, spit on some of the food and screamed bloody murder when the parents finally tried to contain them during the toasts. This was an adult only event, the parents figured they didnt REALLY mean it, and were shocked when asked to control their children. I put the blame on the parents, first for bringing the kids, then letting them run wild, and their lack of respect for the people getting married. When they watched their wedding video, all you can hear during her fathers toast, were those kids screaming nonononono. fun, not.

09-14-2013, 07:11 PM	#68
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,267 Times in 2,158 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have never been to a wedding that was that fancy. I have only attended backyard weddings with friends and family. Not being a partier you could find me with infants and toddlers helping new moms. I loved rocking them to sleep or reading stories. Always been good at calming fussy babes. An invitation is just that. Not an edict. I would hope that not accepting would not be taken as a personal affront.

09-14-2013, 08:03 PM	#69
Peach Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: happily married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where my hat is Posts: 173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 69 Thanked 640 Times in 129 Posts Rep Power: 5775547	I've been to both formal, and informal, some with kids some with none. The day belongs to those getting married, their wishes need to be honored, bottom line. As a guest, its isnt my place to say what should or shouldnt be. I went to one, was told what to bring (it was a pot luck reception) how much of it, where to shop for the food....I was told what to wear, organic fibers only.......what gift to bring, with them guessing as to my income, how much to spend! I sent a card, wished them well, and stayed home.

03-05-2018, 12:09 PM	#70
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Oh totally, my friends make WAY more trouble than kids. Which is why the reception was an adult only area. We didn't say this explicitly, and we did have the massive room upstairs,s for the kids on the floor between the master bedroom level and the ground floor dinning, reception, and kitchen. We basically did what our parents did in the 70s. Back then you brought your kids to the party, put them in the basement with whatever games was their favourite, and the 2 oldest bascially got stuck with keeping mind. At ours no toddlers/babies stayed past the first course of the buffet. They went home with their 2 mums. The kids played upstairs, occasionally relatively soberish parent would check in. Slowly people went back to hotels, couches, guest rooms, etc with children. but the adult only was not because kids cause damage LOL - I have caused far more damage than a child, I'm sure, in my 20s and early 30s, but BECAUSE we get rowdy And more than likely someone is going to get naked at some point, and dance around like an idiot with mash potatoes on their arse (yawn), we did have to kick someone out for not being able to handle the pot in Amsterdam, And more than likely because there was quite a few UK club folk there, some form of unmentionables would be happening by one or two in the loo at some point and depending on their resulting state they might be mild and amusing people or guerning idiots I'd have to send home. It was very, very fun, it did get messy, I broke a horse crop over inks arse at one point, I believe. So... I don't think Adult Only Space is about having children "wreck" things. But about having "adult time to do adult things that kids would find boring or disturbing."

03-05-2018, 07:06 PM	#72
Mel C. Long-time Member How Do You Identify?: WIB - woman identified butch Preferred Pronoun?: Your choice...not really a button for me Relationship Status: ♡ married 1/1/2019♡ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,149 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,772 Thanked 6,828 Times in 1,621 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I attended an Adult-only ceremony last year. I thought it was completely within the bride and groom's rights to decide whether they want children present (with the knowledge some parents may not be able to attend or may choose not to attend if they feel their children are being left out). BTW, a couple brought their kid (maybe 8 years old) despite the bride and groom's request. THAT was classless.