Open Letter: Dear Femme

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by evolveme

What a great post, Boots.

And yes, we do cannibalize each other, don't we? All of us (not just Femmes), but in our quarters and what with Relational Aggression it can be so...nasty.

As it is socially acceptable, and even encouraged as a rite of passage, for masculine creatures to rough-it-out as a means to work-it-out, out-right aggressions are hardly frowned upon in the school yard. But girls are supposed to "be nice and look sweet."

So what do we do with our naturally arising feelings of aggression? (We are animals after all.) We have devised elaborate inter-social methods of torturing and ostracizing one another.

The cruel word spoken in clever jest. (plausible deniablity)

Unkind Gossips.

Out-casting. (a very fickle art)

And, everyone's favorite: The Naming of The Slut.

There are more.

We've all shanked a lady with a fine stiletto, whether we wear them or not.

I have experienced everything on the list.

I'd never had a b/f community before and was SHOCKED to say the least.

In the end I chose to not shut down, not participate and not disallow myself from further potential Femme friendships.

I am so glad that five years later I have forged some solid Femme friendships.

I don't feel that the syndrome of gossip, shunning, or the naming of the slut is entirely based in misogyny. I think it is first and foremost Fear based. So many of us have found a place where we belong after a lifetime of NOT belonging.

Some believe they have to *fight* for that place. Climb up a rung of some imagined Hierarchy. If someone comes along that threatens that they are taken out. We should be offering a hand and pulling other Femme's in and up not out. There really IS room for all of us at the table.