Being Friends with an Ex - How Long

Daryn · 12-23-2009, 08:44 AM

Thanks for all of the comments. There was to my knowledge no cheating, even though the physical part of the relationship was over before I asked her to move out. And maybe the thing is that time will heal it.

I was pretty pissed after she moved out because she took stuff that was mine, broke stuff, and left a mess. But I got over it. And as a couple of people have pointed out, life is too short.

We are exes for a reason but we also were together for other reasons (lots of shared interests) and that's what I'd like to focus on.

theoddz · 12-23-2009, 10:24 AM

I think Tabs hit it pretty much right on about my feelings on this.

I'm on friendly terms with all of my ex's, though I don't correspond or talk to my most recent ex, J. I think the pain of loving each other, but having the situation bigger than the both of us (international/immigration challenges, because she is Canadian and I American, primarily), was what drove us apart and not whether or not we loved each other. If it ever got easier for us to talk, I'm sure we'd be the best of friends. The reality of it is that it's not, but there are not, nor have there ever been any feelings of animosity, on either of our parts. I still like her and respect her tremendously, no matter what. That will never change. Because I understand these kinds of feelings, I don't resent or have any negative feelings concerning Tabs' friendship with her ex, M.

My other ex's are all wonderful women, each and every one. I still talk with A in Louisiana, and she's a dear and trusted friend. The women I have chosen during my life have all been great Ladies and remain good friends to this very second. I couldn't ask for more. I've never ever fallen "in love" overnight. That has never been my nature, so everything for me has started with becoming friends first, then evolved into more later. I think that is the best way. A strong foundation of friendship builds the most lasting of relationships. I have always tried to treat the ladies in my heart with respect and politeness. It is the way I have always wanted to be treated and I don't give them less that what I would expect to get in return.

I'm a difficult man to get to know. I own that, but the woman who would take time to build a friendship with me first, then slowly evolve into more, is the one who wins my heart every time. I expect to win her heart in the very same way. If the relationship doesn't work out, for whatever reason, then we have that strong foundation of friendship that has always come through and been there when everything else has gone. That's why my ex's have always remained my friends.

~Theo~

Apocalipstic · 12-23-2009, 10:32 AM

I am great friends with almost all my exes, they are family. Just because we did not work as a couple does not mean they are not good people.

It does take a while to disentagle feelings though.

I liked APrettys math equasion

I kind of go with half the time you were together, so in your case, a couple of years.

Beat to you and your doggie.

12-23-2009, 10:24 AM	#2
theoddz Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Cranky Old Poop Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. Beast Relationship Status: Married to a beautiful babe whom I don't deserve. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 3,543 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,162 Thanked 9,941 Times in 2,517 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I think Tabs hit it pretty much right on about my feelings on this. I'm on friendly terms with all of my ex's, though I don't correspond or talk to my most recent ex, J. I think the pain of loving each other, but having the situation bigger than the both of us (international/immigration challenges, because she is Canadian and I American, primarily), was what drove us apart and not whether or not we loved each other. If it ever got easier for us to talk, I'm sure we'd be the best of friends. The reality of it is that it's not, but there are not, nor have there ever been any feelings of animosity, on either of our parts. I still like her and respect her tremendously, no matter what. That will never change. Because I understand these kinds of feelings, I don't resent or have any negative feelings concerning Tabs' friendship with her ex, M. My other ex's are all wonderful women, each and every one. I still talk with A in Louisiana, and she's a dear and trusted friend. The women I have chosen during my life have all been great Ladies and remain good friends to this very second. I couldn't ask for more. I've never ever fallen "in love" overnight. That has never been my nature, so everything for me has started with becoming friends first, then evolved into more later. I think that is the best way. A strong foundation of friendship builds the most lasting of relationships. I have always tried to treat the ladies in my heart with respect and politeness. It is the way I have always wanted to be treated and I don't give them less that what I would expect to get in return. I'm a difficult man to get to know. I own that, but the woman who would take time to build a friendship with me first, then slowly evolve into more, is the one who wins my heart every time. I expect to win her heart in the very same way. If the relationship doesn't work out, for whatever reason, then we have that strong foundation of friendship that has always come through and been there when everything else has gone. That's why my ex's have always remained my friends. *~Theo~* __________________ *"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."* -- J. R. R. Tolkien

12-23-2009, 10:32 AM	#3
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I am great friends with almost all my exes, they are family. Just because we did not work as a couple does not mean they are not good people. It does take a while to disentagle feelings though. I liked APrettys math equasion I kind of go with half the time you were together, so in your case, a couple of years. Beat to you and your doggie. __________________

12-23-2009, 08:44 AM	#1
Daryn Timed Out How Do You Identify?: genderqueer leaning male Preferred Pronoun?: he/ze Relationship Status: open to persuasion..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: OR Posts: 185 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 209 Thanked 281 Times in 81 Posts Rep Power: 0	Thanks for all of the comments. There was to my knowledge no cheating, even though the physical part of the relationship was over before I asked her to move out. And maybe the thing is that time will heal it. I was pretty pissed after she moved out because she took stuff that was mine, broke stuff, and left a mess. But I got over it. And as a couple of people have pointed out, life is too short. We are exes for a reason but we also were together for other reasons (lots of shared interests) and that's what I'd like to focus on.