Lesbian bed death?

[Lynn]

Originally Posted by JustJo

I totally get what you and Corkey are saying...and what citybutch said about life's pressures intervening...but for me I need to feel valued, desired and treasured for who I am...not for what I do or provide. You can tell me that I'm a wonderful mother, a good cook, a hard worker, etc. and I will thank you. I appreciate that. But I know those things about myself too. What I need from my partner is that glint in their eye that says they want me....just me...and that they want to connect in that special and intense way that sexuality provides.

If the person I love is struggling with depression or medical issues or whatever that drains their desire, then I will hang in and work with them as long as I am able, and as long as they are trying. But, again just for me, to hang in for years with someone who does not desire me and who isn't trying to fix it (speaking only from my own experience now), then I know that's an incredibly destructive emotional place for me to be and....because I now care about myself too...I need to leave.

I completely understand what you're saying, and I would tend to agree. After all, depression affects more than just sex drive. One could tend to give up on everything and become very intoverted. This isn't a great place from which to express intimacy and affection, even if there isn't sex. A relationship implies the involvement of more than one person. There has to be a point when one decides they did what they could and it just isn't getting better. I believe everyone has the right to decide when enough is enough.