What TO DO in a relationship.....

Reader · 08-30-2011, 06:48 PM

Hi. This wasn't said about a partner-type relationship, but it seems like good advice which came from my sister, but could be applied to an LTR.

When someone says stuff to her that is negative or false or rotten, she simply says, "I'm not taking that in, I'm not taking that on, it's back to you". And she waves her hand sort of back toward the person as if to push the bad vibes back to the speaker.

I kind of admire her for that. Seems kind of healthy to me.

girl_dee · 08-30-2011, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

Hi. This wasn't said about a partner-type relationship, but it seems like good advice which came from my sister, but could be applied to an LTR.

When someone says stuff to her that is negative or false or rotten, she simply says, "I'm not taking that in, I'm not taking that on, it's back to you". And she waves her hand sort of back toward the person as if to push the bad vibes back to the speaker.

I kind of admire her for that. Seems kind of healthy to me.

Yup, I have an invisible negative vibe cloak that I wear! It works!

girl_dee · 09-01-2011, 06:09 PM

Take a vacation together! Even an overnighter !

Dominique · 09-01-2011, 08:13 PM

Make healthy fun foods for the football game...
.....and at least sit on the sofa with your butch while the game is on (even if you don't care for football) it's just three hours!

Bonus points....wear a piece of Steeler clothing....it's hers, I don't own any.

Corkey · 09-01-2011, 09:45 PM

Never forget your anniversary... really bad faux pas.

LaneyDoll · 09-01-2011, 09:55 PM

Do remember that each is their own person - those little things that drive you crazy now were the cute little quirks that won your heart then.

Do make time for me-time is the best gift you can give.

Do remember that a soft word, a gentle touch or a sweet smile sometimes can "make it all better."

Do touch me lovingly. I would rather be caressed than "handled" - until we get to the bedroom anyway

Soft*Silver · 09-01-2011, 09:56 PM

often put a smile on your face when you are talking to your Other...if you have to think about it to do so, work harder at loving her or him. Its your responsibility to make magic happen in the relationship (well its both but I am only talking to one of you)

bring in the groceries and help put them away

put a new roll of TP out before the old one runs out

clean your own hair out of the sink and tub

make dinner like she or he is the most important person in the world

eat dinner at home instead of out, demonstrating you think the cooking there is better than anywhere else

change the sheets on the bed together

bring home a packet of seeds you think will look good in the garden

be the first one to say you are sorry

mean it

Sassy · 09-01-2011, 10:05 PM

Talk. About your day. About friends, family, birds, furniture, decor, dinner, politics, religion, love, lust, likes and dislikes. Talk. About the bad things. Past things. Gone things. Never to have them again things. Wishes, dreams and nightmares. Hopes still held and hopes dashed never to return. Talk. About what makes you happy. More importantly, what makes you angry or sad. Talk. Because we are not all mind readers.

justkim · 09-03-2011, 06:10 PM

Be intimate with her... intimacy doesn't always involve sex...

Laughter...

A L L day foreplay... :: blink ::

Be silly...

amiyesiam · 09-02-2011, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey

Never forget your anniversary... really bad faux pas.

really, considering that yours is the day before your birthday and therefore you will never forget
and that I am dyslexic and therefore will never get it right
I find this comment to be a bit...........
well I already said it to your face
smart ass

Corkey · 09-02-2011, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amiyesiam

really, considering that yours is the day before your birthday and therefore you will never forget
and that I am dyslexic and therefore will never get it right
I find this comment to be a bit...........
well I already said it to your face
smart ass

Which is why you rely on me to always get it right. God help us I lose my memory, oh wait too late.

09-01-2011, 09:45 PM	#5
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,269 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Never forget your anniversary... really bad faux pas. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

09-01-2011, 09:55 PM	#6
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,683 Times in 1,607 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Do remember that each is their own person - those little things that drive you crazy now were the cute little quirks that won your heart then. Do make time for me-time is the best gift you can give. Do remember that a soft word, a gentle touch or a sweet smile sometimes can "make it all better." Do touch me lovingly. I would rather be caressed than "handled" - until we get to the bedroom anyway __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible.

09-01-2011, 09:56 PM	#7
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,907 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	often put a smile on your face when you are talking to your Other...if you have to think about it to do so, work harder at loving her or him. Its your responsibility to make magic happen in the relationship (well its both but I am only talking to one of you) bring in the groceries and help put them away put a new roll of TP out before the old one runs out clean your own hair out of the sink and tub make dinner like she or he is the most important person in the world eat dinner at home instead of out, demonstrating you think the cooking there is better than anywhere else change the sheets on the bed together bring home a packet of seeds you think will look good in the garden be the first one to say you are sorry mean it __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

09-03-2011, 06:10 PM	#9
justkim Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Relationship Status: <3 myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 2,023 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,062 Thanked 6,799 Times in 1,553 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Be intimate with her... intimacy doesn't always involve sex... Laughter... A L L day foreplay... :: blink :: Be silly... __________________ Kim "A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." - Unknown -

08-30-2011, 06:48 PM	#1
Reader Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Butch, Dyke, Feminist, Contrarian Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2011 Location: New Jersey, The Garden State Posts: 732 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,308 Thanked 2,229 Times in 586 Posts Rep Power: 0	Hi. This wasn't said about a partner-type relationship, but it seems like good advice which came from my sister, but could be applied to an LTR. When someone says stuff to her that is negative or false or rotten, she simply says, "I'm not taking that in, I'm not taking that on, it's back to you". And she waves her hand sort of back toward the person as if to push the bad vibes back to the speaker. I kind of admire her for that. Seems kind of healthy to me.

09-01-2011, 06:09 PM	#3
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Take a vacation together! Even an overnighter !

09-01-2011, 08:13 PM	#4
Dominique Member How Do You Identify?: Female/Lesbian/half the athlete I used to be Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Dates Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: So proud to be a Pittsburgher Posts: 1,484 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,645 Thanked 3,730 Times in 1,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Make healthy fun foods for the football game... .....and at least sit on the sofa with your butch while the game is on (even if you don't care for football) it's just three hours! Bonus points....wear a piece of Steeler clothing....it's hers, I don't own any.

09-01-2011, 10:05 PM	#8
Sassy Member How Do You Identify?: Female Relationship Status: Together Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: In the sunshine Posts: 598 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 815 Thanked 1,929 Times in 460 Posts Rep Power: 19641164	Talk. About your day. About friends, family, birds, furniture, decor, dinner, politics, religion, love, lust, likes and dislikes. Talk. About the bad things. Past things. Gone things. Never to have them again things. Wishes, dreams and nightmares. Hopes still held and hopes dashed never to return. Talk. About what makes you happy. More importantly, what makes you angry or sad. Talk. Because we are not all mind readers.