Beyond Owning It...

[Soft*Silver]

I only give verbal venom when I am backed into a corner. I wont apologize for it and wont even pretend that I want to change this. It has kept me a survivor.

what I will own is that I am hardened now, heart wise. I dont say this as reverse psychology or to lay blame or to gain pity. Not at all. I am just done with subjecting myself to further pain and relationships are where I get myself in trouble. I love what Blade said awhile back...his picker was broke. Mine is too. And I looked up picker fixers in the yellow pages and there are none. So, being hard is a safety net. Kinda like duct tape on a muffler pipe...

I am also getting stuck in my ways. I dont like change. I like what I like and how I like it. I dont want to go to the newfangled restaurant. I like where I get to eat out once in awhile. And I almost always order the same thing. Its a sure thing...

when I want something, get out of my way and dont try to talk me out of it or point out that how I am going about getting it is a bad idea. God help you if it has anything to do with horses and you stand in my way. I have had to lease back the horse I had, with the option of picking her back up again in the future. I just couldnt swing it financially. BUT, by god, I will do that. Somehow, someway. Once its a dream or a passion, I will obtain it...sometimes foolishly...