Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[1QuirkyKiwi]

I’m old fashioned and do like to feel that my date’s attention is FULLY on me for the day/evening. Be well groomed, wearing clean, ironed clothes appropriately for the occasion – freshly showered and clean hand/nails. Turn your phone off. Make eye contact with me, smile and laugh to let me know you are enjoying yourself.

Walk to my door and knock, offering me your hand, then your arm as we walk to the car. Open the car door for me and help me into the car by offering your hand, again.

When walking somewhere, please, walk on the outside of the pavement offering me your arm. Open doors for me. Placing your hand on the small of my back when we’re walking. Help me off /on with my coat and pull out the chair for me to sit/stand. Be polite, have manners and be considerate me and other people. Be respectful of yourself and others.

I don’t expect or need the first date to cost a fortune – I appreciate it when my date has tailored the day/evening, taking the time, effort and thoughtfulness to plan something nice that we both will enjoy – something simple, yet, meaningful. The same with gifts – I hate to see flowers dying in a vase – take me to a park or public garden, even better are hand made gifts, a basket of fruit (I swear I was a Fruit Bat in a previous life, the amount I eat, lol!) a hand written poem composed by my date or some other thoughtful gift to my tastes – I love Museums, Art Galleries, even reading poetry to me by the river with a simple picnic will go a long way to winning my heart. I love Swans, it really twist my knickers when my date plans a date feeding them.

I love intelligent conversation, witty chatter and good conversation that flows easily – make me laugh without being crude (I’m by no means a prude, but, there is a time and place for that later). Get to know me – talk to me, let me talk to you. Be open and honest with me – if you don’t feel as though you want to see me again, say so, I won’t be offended unless you’re blatantly rude!

Pay me compliments if you genuinely mean them. Pay attention to the little things and details – I love he meaningful little things and details and surprised by the bigger ones.

Gently touch my hand, knee every now and then – body language says more than words. When wanting to hold hand, ask/offer me your hand and gently grip my hand in yours – please don’t squeeze my hand tightly, it makes me feel uncomfortable - I’m not going to run off unless my date is a complete Psycho. The first kiss, make it soft and tender – I’m not wanting my date to tickle my Tonsils until we are BOTH ready to take the relationship to the next level.

I like to plan a date(s) for my date, I can’t afford to spend a lot, yet, I do like to treat my date – offer suggestions, let me be creative and take the initiative occasionally. Let me spoil and pamper you.

Date me even when the relationship has moved to living together/marriage. Be a Gentle(Wo)man. I’m forever polite and thoughtful even when in a LTR.

I’m not saying "No Emotional Baggage"! How fair is that? If nothing has impacted upon us emotionally, then we’re either not human or have never loved and lived as we were meant to! It’s how the baggage is handled!

[Starbuck]

Open the door for me, both the car door and any other place that has a door; I love that!
Smell good, but don't put on so much that you could kill a small animal!
Make eye contact with me. It let's me know you hear what I am saying and that it matters to you.
If you're so inclined, you may order for me, it will not offend me, I rather like it when you take the lead.
I am an independent woman, do not be offended if I stand up for myself or us if the need arises.
Hold my hand or take my arm when we are walking, I love showing affection.
Watch baseball or football with me? That would be awesome!

[crashhere4eva]

Great input Ladies. I would love to have your input in my one boi one femme thread... please? Thank you

[Toughy]

When walking somewhere, please, walk on the outside of the pavement offering me your arm.

from my butch perspective....

In a big city, depending on the street and who is on it, I may indeed prefer to walk between you and the buildings, rather than you and the street. I have been known to switch sides as we walk down the sidewalk more than once depending on what is ahead...

This custom comes from muddy dirty streets where stuff gets splashed onto the sidewalk from street traffic. The idea is that 'ladies' should be protected from getting their clothes dirty.

[Nadeest]

Quote:
Originally Posted by atomiczombie View Post
I was talking to someone in the chat room the other night and I made the remark that I can't afford date anyone right now. The femme I was talking to asked me why I feel that it takes money, and for me it comes down to how I treat a femme on a date.

For *ME*, it takes money to date a femme properly. No, I would never take a femme to McDonald's for a date. I may not take her to the fanciest place for dinner, but it should be nice. 60$ is not an unreasonable amount to spend on a nice meal with a girl. Then there is all the grooming. A fresh haircut every 2 weeks; getting a car wash before each date because who wants to be picked up in a dirty car??; Having freshly cleaned and pressed clothes that are dress-casual to dressy. (Jeans are fine if you have a dress shirt and tie to go with them.) And, bring her a small gift with each date, usually flowers, but it could be something else that she likes, such as candy or something else. Buy her drinks if you are at a bar.

Things that don't cost money but are essential to me are: Be freshly showered before each date! Open every door for her; pull out her chair for her; allow her to order her food first; ask her first if you want to hold her hand or kiss her (that's just good manners). If you like how she looks or her smile or how she smells or the things that she says, or wears, then tell her. Let her talk about herself, and don't dominate the conversation with things about you. Don't use a lot of swear words. Don't talk about your exes!! Don't be in a rush to get into bed; try to get to know her, who she is and what she is like. Listen to her. Ask her what kind of things she enjoys doing, what kind of food she likes, etc. so if she agrees to another date, you can plan your next date around things she enjoys. Don't do the same thing every single date - try to plan a variety of activities. Thank her for spending time with you, and if you really like her and want to see her again, don't wait more than 2 days to call her. Don't call her the very next day, either. Give room, but not too much room. Don't blow up her phone with text messages either, but saying you had a good time is important.

The person I was discussing this with said she had never been treated this way on a date, and I was kind of surprised. She told me I should start a thread about dating, so here it is:

Femmes, how do you like to be treated on a date? I think all of us people on the masculine spectrum should know what you ladies would like and what you think is important. I know not all femmes are the same and like the exact same things, so having as much feed back as possible is really appreciated! Also, some feed back about what NOT to do would be helpful too! Stories about both good dates and bad ones are welcome! I personally would really like to know how to be a better date so that someday, if I ever can afford to date again, I can do it better. Thanks in advance!

Atomic, what you do sounds wonderful, but I don't really need my date to spend a lot of money on me. Just going to a museum and sitting down with a soda or some other drink can be a lot of fun. The last person that I dated had absolutely no money and had been unemployed for a long time. We went and did something minor for our first date and I really enjoyed our time together.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Toughy

from my butch perspective....

In a big city, depending on the street and who is on it, I may indeed prefer to walk between you and the buildings, rather than you and the street. I have been known to switch sides as we walk down the sidewalk more than once depending on what is ahead...

This custom comes from muddy dirty streets where stuff gets splashed onto the sidewalk from street traffic. The idea is that 'ladies' should be protected from getting their clothes dirty.

Yes to shifting which side to walk on the sidewalk, depending upon what is ahead.

In addition to the splashing streets, wasn't the whole chamber pot being poured out of windows another reason for walking on the outside...more chance of it hitting the man since the woman could be tucked in closer to the buildings?

[SweetJane]

I agree with most every suggestion here. I'm old school and love the idea of courtship, really getting to know someone, taking that time. That is the dance that is the most delightful....even after you have been together for an eternity, make it feel as if it's for the first time.

Though I love to be pampered with a fine dinner and an evening of dancing or going to a concert or to the opera, I find the small no-cost or little cost dates sometimes are the best. A walk along a pond in a park, a free day at a museum, a hot dog at a street fair and then watching the sunset, a hike in the woods, a visit to some place special to my date that hy wants to share with me (a view from the top of a building or hys favorite taco place or the stoop where hy used to play on as a child). I love intelligent conversation and discussions about life and lessons learned. I love sharing a creative experience with someone.

But most of all, I want to see my date as a real human being, intense, laid back, excited, content, thoughtful, in awe.... and who is willing to share that realness with me.

And I in turn will share my realness with hym.

And yes I do enjoy affection, especially when it comes from the joy of the moment, of being together, not because it's a prelude to asking for something more intimate.

[BugsAndKisses]

I'm not into eating out, I would love someone who thought a really great date was a picnic on an airboat in the middle of the glades. I want to pick cattails and kiss hidden behind sawgrass. I want to be taken where the wild things are and um...be wild!<3