Single FTM's & Femme's

[Liam]

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no.

I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward.

I think humor goes a long way in situations like this, and laughter seems to quickly diffuse the tension for everyone in a scenario like the one you described.

Comments directed to your friend, while the server is present after their faux pas, such as, "Gee, I bet you wish you hadn't taken your Mama's Midol when you were a little boy!" or "Wayne Newton did well in Vegas with his voice, maybe we should go there."

It doesn't matter that Midol could never alter someone's voice, nor that your friend would never dream of singing in front of people. You are not jumping the server, and you are being supportive of your male friend, and hopefully everyone is smiling.