Long Distance Relationships

[Glenn]

If your gut's telling you there's something bothering it about your LDR, then trust it. It's telling you the truth.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by Glenn

If your gut's bothering you about your LDR, then trust it. It's telling you the truth.

I agree! I always go with my intuition and if it doesn't feel right....I know it's not and will openly and honestly say how I feel. I won't be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.

[Glenn]

Yes Ms Q Kiwi; The connection has to be perfect to hold up againest the distance.

[girl_dee]

Do you think that the distance helps keep things alive? Someone mentioned one time on the forum, that every time she dates long distance the romance is alive, the fun never stops but when she moves into the real time, it kinda dies. The honeymoon is over so to speak.

I believe that to be true to a point. I feel the distance keeps the fantasy alive, well it has for me anyway. I can't do the distance for very long, I need to be in the here and now and learn what I am either spending my time wisely for or seeing if I am really wasting my time. The distance is good for covering up the hard cold facts on both sides, however unintentional.

[WolfyOne]

many years ago, I had to give up a LDR because neither of us would budge on moving
After a year, it was too much (not monetary) to travel every other weekend on a plane to visit
I'm not saying I wouldn't considerate it again
I just wouldn't want to invest my time and feelings if a compromise could not be made on where we'd live if we get serious

Once again, it goes back to communication
Live, but listen and learn

[Ciaran]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Do you think that the distance helps keep things alive? Someone mentioned one time on the forum, that every time she dates long distance the romance is alive, the fun never stops but when she moves into the real time, it kinda dies. The honeymoon is over so to speak.

To me, that's clearly not a relationship and I wouldn't even attach a "dating" label to it. In my view, it's more like flirting and "dipping your toe in the water" with a prospective date. In itself, it's perfectly harmless.

That said, for some clearly it can be all too easy to let dreams get in the way of reality. I'm genuinely not trying to come across as harsh or judgemental, but on this type of forum, I've often seen people make gushing references to "being in love" and that their "partner" is "the one" and "so right in everyway" and planning a shared future together when they haven't actually even met in real life. That's something I just cannot get my head around.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Ciaran

To me, that's clearly not a relationship and I wouldn't even attach a "dating" label to it. In my view, it's more like flirting and "dipping your toe in the water" with a prospective date. In itself, it's perfectly harmless.

That said, for some clearly it can be all too easy to let dreams get in the way of reality. I'm genuinely not trying to come across as harsh or judgemental, but on this type of forum, I've often seen people make gushing references to "being in love" and that their "partner" is "the one" and "so right in everyway" and planning a shared future together when they haven't actually even met in real life. That's something I just cannot get my head around.

Yup!.........

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Glenn

Yes Ms Q Kiwi; The connection has to be perfect to hold up againest the distance.

I think 'perfect' is not only asking too much but will taint the ordinary; the regular but perfectly good connections.

The main thing is to work on it and keep the connection strong. Both parties have to be 'in it to win it' and put the daily effort in for the relationship to thrive. This is true for all relationships but especially so for ones that rely on trust and the unseen and unknown.