What attracts you to Ftms ......

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

Yes, I can relate. My husband and I look really good together, everyone comments on it. Everywhere we go we get smiles and compliments.

In the beginning I hated it. I felt like society was rewarding me for doing the right thing and dating a man.

Then a few things happened. I suddenly discovered how awful and insidious transphobia can be. I realised how hard it is to keep your mouth shut when people, who see you as a straight couple, let you in on their homophobia. I realise how scary and fragile living 'stealth' can be.

A bit of perspective reminded me that we are indeed still part of the wider queer society and nothing will ever take that away. Nothing except equality for all.