Prince Charming? Pfft!

[weatherboi]

"pedestal couple" this is a first i have ever heard of this term....i mean i guess i am asking...do we label relationships now too??? what is the criteria to become a "pedestal couple"?? just curious

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

Hey there Fuzzy...

Well, it looks like you have already gotten some really great advice and words of wisdom from your community here.

Like you, in my mind, I lived the picture perfect vision of a relationship... for 7 years. Was it a fairytale romance... many would say yes. We were often referred to as a "pedestal couple". But guess what, life throws you curveballs when you least expect it. In any relationship, you either grow together or you grow apart. If I were to sit and dwell on the end of my marriage (as many people expected me to do), I would have never truly found myself. As humans, we have a tendancy to romanticize the past. So, if we stay stuck in the mindset from a past relationship, we will never be able to move on.

I also believe that you don't have just one soul mate... you have different soul mates for different times in your life. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I understand you having a "blueprint" in your mind about the character traits of any potential partner you might have. That's never a bad idea... but you must keep updating that "blueprint". As humans, we are all hopefully growing & evolving, so some things that you want at 25 might not seem as important at 37.

As for having children... that is a big decision to make and should never be taken lightly. Just remember, just because you have children with someone, doesn't mean that the relationship is gonna last forever. Just like marriage isn't the end all to be all... yeah, I've been there, done that and sold the ring.

Best of luck to you.

[PinkieLee]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

"pedestal couple" this is a first i have ever heard of this term....i mean i guess i am asking...do we label relationships now too??? what is the criteria to become a "pedestal couple"?? just curious

"Pedestal couple" was something that some of our local friends called us. I guess, in their minds, we were one of the couples that people just always assumed would always be together forever. We did the whole wedding thing, baby thing and never had a single fight in the entire 7 years. But like everyone else, they seemed to forget that we were also human.

NO, relationships are not meant to be labeled.

[weatherboi]

Thanks for the clarification!!! Ya know my mind wonders what extra kind of pressure that added to your relationship and if you were aware of it at the time or not till after? *totally get if you don't want to answer* For me it would add extra pressure!!!!!

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

"Pedestal couple" was something that some of our local friends called us. I guess, in their minds, we were one of the couples that people just always assumed would always be together forever. We did the whole wedding thing, baby thing and never had a single fight in the entire 7 years. But like everyone else, they seemed to forget that we were also human.

NO, relationships are not meant to be labeled.

[PinkieLee]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

Thanks for the clarification!!! Ya know my mind wonders what extra kind of pressure that added to your relationship and if you were aware of it at the time or not till after? *totally get if you don't want to answer* For me it would add extra pressure!!!!!

Not a problem my friend...

I think that many long term couples feel the added pressure. When hearing about a breakup, many of us are guilty of saying "OMG, we thought y'all would be together forever".

[Dude]

Which I would have listened way back in 1984.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3KrL7BQBpc"]YouTube- 80's Dance Music | Ride The White Horse | Laid Back[/ame]

[weatherboi]

I am generally speaking not specifically about one persons experince. Ohhhh and thinking of my own past experience. *i just realized i have been misspelling experience for a long time*

I have never had anybody say that to me after a breakup. I am not sure how that would make me feel. My first relationship was 7 years. My point to keep coming back is something in my mind tells me this form of thinking could be part of a social cycle that should be recognized and broken. Emotionally "keeping up with the joneses", so to speak, with prince charmings, rings, marriages, and babies. I am just thinking and typing.

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

Not a problem my friend...

I think that many long term couples feel the added pressure. When hearing about a breakup, many of us are guilty of saying "OMG, we thought y'all would be together forever".

[PinkieLee]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

I am generally speaking not specifically about one persons experince. Ohhhh and thinking of my own past experience. *i just realized i have been misspelling experience for a long time*

I have never had anybody say that to me after a breakup. I am not sure how that would make me feel. My first relationship was 7 years. My point to keep coming back is something in my mind tells me this form of thinking could be part of a social cycle that should be recognized and broken. Emotionally "keeping up with the joneses", so to speak, with prince charmings, rings, marriages, and babies. I am just thinking and typing.

You are totally right... and that's why some people still play into the fantasy of the fairytale, and feel as though only prince charming or pretty princess will do. Truth be told, no one person is perfect. We are all perfectly imperfect and the social pressure we put on relationships needs to be recognized.

No couple is invisible... I don't care who you are or how long you've been together. We are human, with faults & flaws. It's all about how well you work together without forgetting how strong you are in your own individualities.

[adorable]

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

You are totally right... and that's why some people still play into the fantasy of the fairytale, and feel as though only prince charming or pretty princess will do. Truth be told, no one person is perfect. We are all perfectly imperfect and the social pressure we put on relationships needs to be recognized.

No couple is invisible... I don't care who you are or how long you've been together. We are human, with faults & flaws. It's all about how well you work together without forgetting how strong you are in your own individualities.

You are so very, very right.

[Lusciousblondefemme]

Prince Charming, Kissing a Frog, Knight on a White horse...

Those are all fictional characters that society has given to people to make them believe that anything is possible.

Love is like a river .. sometimes in flows slow and trickles over the rocks and its soothing at other times it runs fast and damages everything in its path..
but in the end the river is still the river and does not go anywhere but down the same path it always takes.. It has a direction in life that is determined for the rest of eternity.

Guess what life is not like that though .. Love yes can be that river have you have an idea of how you want that love to go .. and what path you want that love to take .. but unfortunately Everybody has their own love path ....
So it makes it hard to find that perfect person to share that love with...

My grandmother always told me never hunt for love ... let love hunt for you .. If you are worthy of being loved it will find you at your lowest point or highest point. Just do not be too selfish, let it into your heart and show you all the wonderful things that there are in store for you.

When i want to be with someone I do not look for a specific type of person .. I just have a few ground rules and those being honesty, integrity, unconditional love for me and my children and trust and respect.
Other than that you can like fishing and I may like 4wheeling .. its the differences between two people that allow us to grow into more well rounded people. If you only like people who are interested in the same things you are then how do you know if you might like fishing ..

Prince Charming and The knight on a white horse can stay in fairytale land for me ..I want someone who is real who has their own thoughts and ideals and who is willing to work as hard at the relationship as i am.

Love will find you when you least expect it, you might be walking down the street and someone bumps into you, or maybe you walk past that person everyday and your time to meet them just isnt right now.

Live life as if there will be no tomorrow
Love as if you have never loved before and
Dance as if no one is watching ...

I have had one true love in my life and I let her walk away from me. No questions asked no runnign after her.. I just watched as she walked away .. My theory was that if she didnt know how much she meant to me than Nothing I could say or do would ever change that .. If by chance we are meant to be together then life will direct us both back to each other .. But that does not stop me from living everyday to the fullest.

I feel blessed to have had a chance to love someone with not only my heart but my soul.

[Corkey]

Yep it's a nice fairy tale. Thing is life happens while one plans for the future. Butches aren't Princes, and they sure aren't frogs, and to associate Butches as such is just offensive to me. Not all Butches are going to be compatible with you, so you date....a lot, have fun stay safe, and go about living your life authentically. In time you will grow, mature and find that the fantasy is just that, a fantasy. I know most girls are taught that growing up the marriage, baby, white picket fence fairy tale, and you too can have this.....life doesn't work like that, not anymore. In the 40's and 50's perhaps, but not any more. Get your life the way you want it, experience the world, have fun, date and try to relax, the Butch is out there, but s/he won't show up till you have your ducks lined up and are just fine with being you, with or without a partner.
I wish you well and have fun.