Prince Charming? Pfft!

[Hack]

I just gotta say, I think this thread is a thing of beauty. A young woman put a thought out there that she is pondering and people responded in a thoughtful, positive, supportive, non-condescending way. How refreshing. Truly.


Jake...who loves it when people share their life experiences and wisdom in an open, honest way.

[FeminineAllure]

I would like to share a few quotes here to think on but first I must say...
If you have a mental list of what you can not live with out...They must be smart for example, very attractive, want to have children soon etc... etc... etc...Make sure you have the same things to offer a potential partner. Become what you are looking for in someone else.

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

Tom Robbins quotes

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with”
Gillian Anderson quotes

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”
Leo F. Buscaglia

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by FeminineAllure

I would like to share a few quotes here to think on but first I must say...
If you have a mental list of what you can not live with out...They must be smart for example, very attractive, want to have children soon etc... etc... etc...Make sure you have the same things to offer a potential partner. Become what you are looking for in someone else.

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

Tom Robbins quotes

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with”
Gillian Anderson quotes

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”
Leo F. Buscaglia

how very true....its funny how some ppl femme and butch alike..expect a certain package deal...but they dont have what they expect from someone else...I like that BE what you are looking for.....friendship is important...they already love you for YOU...faults and all....

[Princess4u]

OK OK I know my screen name may indicate otherwise..and yes I want to find my prince....but not as in the fairytale...I want my own storybook ending....I think we all want similar things from life and from our partner....and I want to emphasize....PARTNER....because that is what it is all about...sharing, compromise...coming together and forming a life where you feel you are loved and safe from the big bad world....my prince should he ever find me...LOL...should respect me as much as I do him...we work together and not have expectations of what the other should do....do I think all femmes should cook and clean...hell no...do I think all butches or transppl should do the yardwork and take out the trashs....hell no...I think it should be done by both...and I dont mean merrily skipping down the driveway holding hands carrying the trashbag...I mean when it needs to be done...do it...sometimes we get so wrapped up in gender identity..that ppl can sometimes feel lost and not be the PERSON they are....I feel I would be blessed to find my "prince" as much as he would feel blessed to find his "princess in me"...because together we can overcome most anything...i dont know if this makes any sense...perhpas too many breathing treatments going to my head right now LOL>..I love this thread thank you for making it...

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by Hack

I just gotta say, I think this thread is a thing of beauty. A young woman put a thought out there that she is pondering and people responded in a thoughtful, positive, supportive, non-condescending way. How refreshing. Truly.


Jake...who loves it when people share their life experiences and wisdom in an open, honest way.

I know! I appreciate everyone so much. My life isn't easy, but it's mine and I love it. I love my art, my career, my passions, my friends and my family... it's just that sometimes I wish I had that special person to share it with.

[Legendryder]

I have been single for 6 years now, and haven't even dated anyone in that time. I just can't see doing that right now, I do not have the time to put into the work it takes to make a relationship function. I am a full time student, and a small business owner, so my days are full to the brim with things that are important to me. I really can't say I have missed anything. And besides, I have Bob. With Bob around, you just can't help but be in a good mood.

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by Allison W

Even though I consistently get typed as a feeler (which, I suppose, should say something about how much these personality metrics actually matter), I know enough to understand that my short-term impulses rarely have anything to do with what will make me happy in the long run, and I don't want to get into junk relationships just because I'm lonely and can't control my emotions.

Guardian = SJ, Artisan = SP, Idealist = NF (my type, though I go against the grain in many places), Rational = NT. While I'm an INFP, you're right that I like Js; both of the serious relationships I had I ended because my partner wouldn't make decisions and left them to me, resulting in my deciding to walk. I, however, would say I'd lean not towards NTJs but STJs (if with the physical focus of the SP), which would put them in the Guardian category (necessarily masculine manifestation, given the way Guardians allegedly vary the most in behaviour depending upon gender role compared to the other types), not the Rational category. I don't want someone who's no better at controlling their emotions or making decisions than I am. That is the subject of my worst nightmares.

You are over analyzing, and I must add - far too much.
But hey, whatever works for you.

Peace out.

[adorable]

I read this article in Ebony a while back. It really covers everything pretty well without over complicating things. It's the top ten ways to tell if he's the one ~ but it's a pretty universal list ~ I think it works for everyone in any direction.

This is the link to the article:
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/m...g=content;col1

[Allison W]

Originally Posted by NJFemmie

You are over analyzing, and I must add - far too much.
But hey, whatever works for you.

Peace out.

Analysis is my blessing. It's what keeps me from making the horrible decisions that my parents made before me (and that others around me continue to make, for that matter). Without it, I'd have nothing.

So yes, "over-analyzing" does work for me. It has yet to let me down. Fleeting emotions lead me to make bad decisions often--sometimes catastrophically.