only another butch would understand

[Darth Denkay]

This is great news. When I was new on another site I got the impression that male pronouns were the default for butches, and because I am masculine-identified that suited me just fine. It wasn't until years later that I realized that was not okay with some people. It has been difficult to know how to refer to folks, and having this specified I hope will have a significant impact on valuing all butches.

In reading over this thread, one thing jumped out at me. I don't know how prevalent this is, but I actually do not identify as female or male. Now, biologically I am female (sex) but when female and male are used to define gender I don't use either. I see it as once again falling into a binary. I identify as masculine, I have masculine energy, but I am not male. A butch friend once described himself as FTNF - female to not female - which really resonates with me. The act of not identifying as female (gender) but not identifying as male either.

Binaries suck, because they seldom, if ever, work.

Originally Posted by Admin

Just to be clear:

This space is supportive of female-identified Butches, masculine-identified Butches, Male-identified Butches, Trans Men, Trans Women, Genderqueers, Femmes, and everyone else who falls somewhere along the gender spectrum.

I know that we can incorporate our spaces peacefully and respectfully.

One of the ways that BFP is going to work to help folks feel more visible is to make sure that the "how do you identify" section our our profiles will also include a "preferred pronouns" portion that will be displayed with the users name here in the posts.
Until then, we should all be *asking* one another for the correct pronoun for that person without assuming that it is "he", "she", "hye", "ze" based on how we identify ourselves.