Fierce Femmes, Allies and Gender Expectations...

[Nat]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I do not always behave or even sit like a lady....

Do you?

Baby and wedding showers? Can't do it.

and you better remind me when your birthday is if you expect me to remember.

I think if I die and go to hell, it will be a baby shower that never ends.

This is a great thread - thanks for starting it.

I'm a femme whose ID has morphed a lot since I came out 4 and a half years ago. I guess I'm not a baby-femme anymore, but I understand now more than in the past that I am still discovering who I am and what I enjoy and/or will enjoy in the future. I suspect it may be my fate in life to continually be going through some sea change, and that's alright I guess.

I don't think of myself as fierce, but I'm glad there are fierce femmes here. I feel like a guy a lot of the time, but I live in the femme. Both elements seem to me to be my nature.

Lately I have decided that for me all lines that separate one thing from another need to be dotted, permeable. Like the walls of a cell, I guess.

Several of you in this thread have helped me understand myself better by sharing your lives and experiences and that means a great deal. So thanks.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Nat

I think if I die and go to hell, it will be a baby shower that never ends.

This is a great thread - thanks for starting it.

I'm a femme whose ID has morphed a lot since I came out 4 and a half years ago. I guess I'm not a baby-femme anymore, but I understand now more than in the past that I am still discovering who I am and what I enjoy and/or will enjoy in the future. I suspect it may be my fate in life to continually be going through some sea change, and that's alright I guess.

I don't think of myself as fierce, but I'm glad there are fierce femmes here. I feel like a guy a lot of the time, but I live in the femme. Both elements seem to me to be my nature.

Lately I have decided that for me all lines that separate one thing from another need to be dotted, permeable. Like the walls of a cell, I guess.

Several of you in this thread have helped me understand myself better by sharing your lives and experiences and that means a great deal. So thanks.

I totally feel like a guy most of the time. Some can see it, some can't.

Those who do see it are most dear to me!

4 and 1/2 years? Man time flies! xoxooxox

[Medusa]

Apoc! Im with you on the whole baby-shower thing.

Jack and I had to attend one about a week ago for my little cousin and both of us were in excrutiating grossness with all the shower games and "ooh-ing" and "aah-ing".
No, I do NOT want to try to draw a baby on a paper plate with my eyes closed but I will oblige for the sake of my beloved cousin.

Im always really amused too at how other (mostly straight) women shriek in horror when I tell them I don't really like kids and never want to have any of my own. Sometimes I feel like I have just told them that my uterus is made of acid and Im not really human by their reactions.

On some level, I think its the whole expectation for some that woman=Mother=nurturer. Have a big fat bitch tell you that she hates kids and the little bubble of "Stepford Pussy" is popped rather easily.

Fantastic thread!

[Apocalipstic]

So it's been a year and much has changed.

Still Femme

Still fierce

Discovering my Momi side. Learning to accept sweetness in my life and that gentle kisses and cuddling do not make me weak.

LOveee "Stepford Pussy"! lmaorof

Still hate baby showers

Sending out a big hello to all my Fierce Femme Sisters and Allies!

[EnderD_503]

Just wondering how different femmes here at BFP participate in creating more visibility for femmes at queer events like Pride, or if you've ever partaken in any kind of femme event of some sort.

Also, do you see an effort to create more visibility for femmes within the queer community where you live? How about at Pride events where you live? Is that something you actively try to create more of, and if so how do you go about it?

[The_Lady_Snow]

When we were younger the Ohio femme population would place "Femme" stickers on our asses, we'd all walk around and clearly as diverse you could see we were a force to reckon with. As older femmes we now gather at one place and wear our femme pride without needing that sticker, once you meet a femme, well we are hard to forget. We attend events the younger crowds now put on and support and still have our phone tree.

Here in Florida I've yet to find Femme companions, which is kinda sad.

As a Femme ally, what do you Ender do to help keep our visibility out there?

[Sparkle]

Originally Posted by EnderD_503

Just wondering how different femmes here at BFP participate in creating more visibility for femmes at queer events like Pride, or if you've ever partaken in any kind of femme event of some sort.

Also, do you see an effort to create more visibility for femmes within the queer community where you live? How about at Pride events where you live? Is that something you actively try to create more of, and if so how do you go about it?

Great questions.

The town I live in often has a Femme contingent in the Pride Parade.
I must admit I've not joined it, my lack of participation isn't out of apathy, but because I enjoy watching the whole parade. Also, I live in a town that has a very high % of queer families and is an ultra-liberal bubble. Its easy to take visibility/acceptance for granted here.

But that wasn't always the case. When I was younger Femme visibility was really important to me because I felt invisible to everyone (queer & heterosexual). I spent a lot of time empowering myself and my peers - to be out and loud and fierce.

But now I am older, self-confident and I am blessed to have some fabulous Femme friends who live right here and that I spend time with. So, I've not felt the need to join a specific Femme group.

I'm politically active, but I choose carefully which queer political battles I get involved in and I direct my energy and resources in those directions. Femme visibility, while important, is not a high priority politically *for me*.

All that said, I've seen a rise in the number of Femme visibility and coalition building groups in some of the nearby big cities like New York and Boston in recent years. And I think it is GREAT! especially for young or just coming out Femmes.

[Apocalipstic]

Great posts!

To be honest, I have not gone to Pride the past few years or participated much in Queer events locally and that needs to change! I was in a relationship and my G/F was a home body and we just did not go.

But Ender your post really made me re-think....I do need to get involved in more Femme stuff and making ourselves more visible...htough it does seem with the younger Lesbians, being Femme or Lipstick is WAY more accepted than back in the 80's.

So I guess I need to look up when Pride is this year and go.