What Cracked You Up Today?

[dixie]

I love family time. My parents are absolutely nutty. My dad, always the practical joker, is up to no good once again. He has a small device that he places under toilet seats that is barely noticeable. When you sit down, you get a spray of ice cold water up your hooha...:| Not really a fan of that one. (If you ever visit their home, look before you sit!)

Laughed my arse off though earlier, when he was washing dishes while mom cooked. Mom bent down to get a pan out of the cabinet, he pulled out the back of her pjs and dumped a cup of soapy dishwater down her buttcrack. She was not too thrilled but the rest of us were rolling on the floor while she hopped around going "ew ew ew ew ew ew ew" LOL

We're slightly mean practical jokers, but in my family everyone gets a laugh out of it because we know it's all in fun. I just can't wait to see what kind of payback Mom gets on him later... *eg*

[SouthernStud]

My complete and utter ignorance to figuring out how all this works...basics...EASY!!! However...im clueless to some areas of this site! Quite funny...so i cracked myself up really

[Rook]

[Small Twist on the narrative]

A boi wished to purchase a present for hyz sweetheart and after careful consideration, s/he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by hyz sweetheart's sister, s/he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got mixed up. The sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, s/he sealed the package and sent it to her with this note.

Dearest Darling,

This is a little gift to show my affection for you on Christmas. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when you go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked great. I wish I could put them on you for the first time. No doubt other Butch's hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you will like them and wear them for me on Friday night.

All my love,

P.S. Just think of how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Also, the latest style is to wear them folded down with the fur showing.

:mohawk: :jester:

[girl_dee]

how the weather dipped down into record breaking freezing temps when I got here and as of my leaving they will rise to normal temps again...

[Soon]

u0PUrNwvvBk&feature=related

[Soon]

RHJmct5tstk&feature=related

[DomnNC]

This auto-reply for email when I sent my client an email with the status of their system for tomorrow beginning a new year. I replied and told her I'd like for her to teach me how to do this!

"I am currently out of the office, for immediate assistance please call (XXX) XXX-XXXX. Thank you I will be out of the office and return Nov 1., 2010.."

[storyofmylife]

my lil' AnnaBelle is a little fart........ literally!
:fart:

[JustLovelyJenn]

From yesterday.

One of my students had court yesterday with the truancy judge. There is a new female judge working in youth court here. This was his first time at court, he was nervous but had been talking a big talk about the whole thing.

Well, when our truancy monitor got back from court, he had to come tell us what happened.

The teacher I work with had been asked to write a letter about his behavior and performance in our classroom, which she did.... here was the scene at court.

*judge sits silently reading letter*
*judge looks up at student*
"Your a jerk"
*judge goes back to reading*
*shakes head and looks up at student again*
"I take that back, your a jackass"

THIS, made me crack up!!!!

She went on from there to spend the next 30 min or so chewing him out and telling him in great detail why he was a jackass.

[Starbuck]

I met a fairy today that would grant me one wish:

"I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry" said the fairy, "I''m not allowed to grant wishes like that!"

"Fine," I said, "I want to die after the politicians get their heads out of their asses and start telling the truth!"

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

[Blade]

It wasn't today but yesterday my roomie found the plastic packaging of a purchase I made yesterday. She walks into my bedroom holding the package and says.....all you need is for your Mom to come over and find this. :| :blink: :shocking: :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Passionaria]

What Not To Do During Sex ...

In order to save you from yet another existential crisis later in the year, add to your list those things you promise never to do during sex. These will guarantee your success in keeping at least a few resolutions—and if your lover is showing you this list and making you sign it in the presence of a notary, consider it an intervention or a warning that you may suck in bed.

* Caveat: Every “don't” has it’s own fetishist fan club of people who do that very thing. Try not to think too hard about what they do. Or do think about it, if you’re bored or into horror. If you’re into any of these “don'ts” and decide to rise up against me in protest, please spell my name correctly, and then tell us who you are, how to pronounce your name and where you’re from, so we can all avoid you.

* When you lover says, “Eat me,” don’t take it literally.

* When your lover screams or moans “Oh my God” don’t think that they’re talking about you—even if you’re Tom Cruise.

* When your lover screams or moans “Oh, God,” don’t get into a debate on the irrationality of religious belief systems and their irrelevance to the current sexual intimacy . Unless, of course, you’re Richard Dawkins.

Don’t Tweet while fucking. If both (or all) of you are Tweeting or updating your FaceBook pages simultaneously, then that may be okay … but in that case, keep your status updates to what the two (or more) of you are doing currently. You might consider calling it performance art and see if you can get some sort of grant.

Don't invade a sovereign nation. Sexually satisfied heads, er, leaders, make poor evil overlords. If you are currently in the process of invading another country, take a moment to reflect on your sex life. Your therapist misses you.

Regarding Names ... (http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/sex-resolutions-2011-donts-0103111/#chapter-1)

If you’re bad with names, don’t call out any during sex. It’s likely to get you into trouble. Sex partners tend to be hypersensitive to being called other people’s names, especially the names of ex’s (both yours and theirs), as well as either your relatives or pets. When in doubt, acknowledge them with saucy terms of endearment such as stud muffin, sugar, ooh baby, oh my god (see above), hotness and such.

* If your lover never calls you by your name, instead always calling you stud muffin, sugar, ooh baby, oh my god (see above), hotness and such, don’t ask them to say your real name during sex. Awkward times 10.

* Don’t call out “Who’s your Daddy?” in the voice of Elmer Fudd, or Darth Vader.

* Don’t respond to impassioned sexual requests by saying: “Yes, Lord Vader.”


Also Resolve Never To: (http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/sex-resolutions-2011-donts-0103111/#chapter-2)

* Die during sex. It’s rude and think of the poor person who will have to tell your mom.

* Play dead while hoping your partner will go away.

* Put on a clown costume, unannounced and without prior agreement.

* Check other people’s Tweets or FaceBook status.

* Forget that you’re having sex and start doing something else, like watching the game on TV.

* Protest the lousy call that the referee or umpire made during the game on TV, no matter how blind and stupid the official may have been.

* Ask your lover how you compare to their exes or other lovers.

* Forget to wash your hands after handling spicy foods or hot muscle ointments.

* Launch a surprise backdoor invasion. If you’re prone to this, give up sex and take up a hobby that doesn’t require lube or consent, such as terrorism or illegal invasions of foreign countries.

* Discuss your history of therapy, abuse, bad breakups, recovery programs, stalking or being stalked.


Finally , Also Promise that You Will Refrain from ... (http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/sex-resolutions-2011-donts-0103111/#chapter-3)

* Drawing dotted butcher lines on a lover’s skin with a Sharpie.

* Discussing previously undisclosed STIs or other communicable diseases.

* Dismissing any comments about sores and unusual discharges in your genitals.

* Laughing at a lover, rather than with them.

If you can manage to not do most of these, you can congratulate yourself for being … um … well, we’ll think of something. Hooray for cheap validation!

[SnackTime]

Earlier I was sitting here on the couch in the dark with the television on. All of a sudden I saw this silhouette of my Australian shepherd coming out of the hallway into the living room. I was thinking why is she acting all weird and then I saw the jack russell (who is going blind and deaf) on the other side of the coffee table. Wellllllll, she was trying to tippy toe around him to get to their food dish. LOL

The jack ALWAYS eats first, because he does not eat a lot. However, there have been times that he will walk away from the dish and then bully his way back to eat some more once she starts eating. The funny part is she lets him (she outweighs him by 35 lbs) LOL

[lionpaw]

Seeing a video on youtube that had 2 dogs playfully sliding down a sloped snow hill out in the woods somewhere...

[RockOn]

A femme friend's description of everything she is having to do to get artificial insemination. She is a very funny, uplifting type person anyway. Putting all the fun aside, it was quite educational for me. She does not see pictures but reads descriptions of the sperm donors. The way she determined the ones she ruled out had me grabbing my gut from laughing so hard. She gave herself her first shot last night. Really hoping it works out for her.

[lionpaw]

What Not To Do During Sex ...

In order to save you from yet another existential crisis later in the year, add to your list those things you promise never to do during sex. These will guarantee your success in keeping at least a few resolutions—and if your lover is showing you this list and making you sign it in the presence of a notary, consider it an intervention or a warning that you may suck in bed.

* Caveat: Every “don't” has it’s own fetishist fan club of people who do that very thing. Try not to think too hard about what they do. Or do think about it, if you’re bored or into horror. If you’re into any of these “don'ts” and decide to rise up against me in protest, please spell my name correctly, and then tell us who you are, how to pronounce your name and where you’re from, so we can all avoid you.

* When you lover says, “Eat me,” don’t take it literally.

* When your lover screams or moans “Oh my God” don’t think that they’re talking about you—even if you’re Tom Cruise.

* When your lover screams or moans “Oh, God,” don’t get into a debate on the irrationality of religious belief systems and their irrelevance to the current sexual intimacy . Unless, of course, you’re Richard Dawkins.

Don’t Tweet while fucking. If both (or all) of you are Tweeting or updating your FaceBook pages simultaneously, then that may be okay … but in that case, keep your status updates to what the two (or more) of you are doing currently. You might consider calling it performance art and see if you can get some sort of grant.

Don't invade a sovereign nation. Sexually satisfied heads, er, leaders, make poor evil overlords. If you are currently in the process of invading another country, take a moment to reflect on your sex life. Your therapist misses you.

Regarding Names ... (http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/sex-resolutions-2011-donts-0103111/#chapter-1)

If you’re bad with names, don’t call out any during sex. It’s likely to get you into trouble. Sex partners tend to be hypersensitive to being called other people’s names, especially the names of ex’s (both yours and theirs), as well as either your relatives or pets. When in doubt, acknowledge them with saucy terms of endearment such as stud muffin, sugar, ooh baby, oh my god (see above), hotness and such.

* If your lover never calls you by your name, instead always calling you stud muffin, sugar, ooh baby, oh my god (see above), hotness and such, don’t ask them to say your real name during sex. Awkward times 10.

* Don’t call out “Who’s your Daddy?” in the voice of Elmer Fudd, or Darth Vader.

* Don’t respond to impassioned sexual requests by saying: “Yes, Lord Vader.”


Also Resolve Never To: (http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/sex-resolutions-2011-donts-0103111/#chapter-2)

* Die during sex. It’s rude and think of the poor person who will have to tell your mom.

* Play dead while hoping your partner will go away.

* Put on a clown costume, unannounced and without prior agreement.

* Check other people’s Tweets or FaceBook status.

* Forget that you’re having sex and start doing something else, like watching the game on TV.

* Protest the lousy call that the referee or umpire made during the game on TV, no matter how blind and stupid the official may have been.

* Ask your lover how you compare to their exes or other lovers.

* Forget to wash your hands after handling spicy foods or hot muscle ointments.

* Launch a surprise backdoor invasion. If you’re prone to this, give up sex and take up a hobby that doesn’t require lube or consent, such as terrorism or illegal invasions of foreign countries.

* Discuss your history of therapy, abuse, bad breakups, recovery programs, stalking or being stalked.


Finally , Also Promise that You Will Refrain from ... (http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/sex-resolutions-2011-donts-0103111/#chapter-3)

* Drawing dotted butcher lines on a lover’s skin with a Sharpie.

* Discussing previously undisclosed STIs or other communicable diseases.

* Dismissing any comments about sores and unusual discharges in your genitals.

* Laughing at a lover, rather than with them.

If you can manage to not do most of these, you can congratulate yourself for being … um … well, we’ll think of something. Hooray for cheap validation!


Ohhh! You made me howl with this one....I can't wait to show my honey this one! This is a good one!

[Rook]

bailey : aha !! I knew it...you and k.d. sneakin around behind my back !!"

me: :blink:

bailey: "I leave, and youtube conspires to bring u 2 togethah !!" -points finger dramatic-

me: "oh bite me"

bailey: "where? as cute as it is, lower the volume, i'm sure everyone within this block knows what youre droolin over.."

me: "*the bird*"

hehehe

[Blade]

Bought a sweater for Hombre. He's an ole boy who lives outside. His tongue hangs out the side of his mouth most of the time cuz he doesn't have teeth on the side anymore.

I held him and Sweet clipped his toenails he was a good boy. She tried to put his new sweater on him but for a Chihuahua he has a bull dog front end and that cracked me up. His sweater didn't fit him because he is so broad chested. She got the sweater over his head and that was all. She started saying it's to tight it will never go on him.

[Jet]

ha ha ha....

eHvBNjJVtSA

[JustBeingMe]

Watching it snow all day long on Sunday 4-6 inches and building a snow man at my cousin's house with a couple neighbor boys. WE had a blast doing it. I took pics for proof it snowed in Texas where I live and posted on my facebook Just to show those non believers it really does snow here in Texas. LOL
And when I got home, watching the news showing a MASSIVE Crowd in Atlanta having the largest snowball fight EVA!! lmao

[lionpaw]

watching "the Cape" on Hulu.com

[Turtle]

Do we need a butter butt licking recipe for June?

:giggle:

[sylvie]

falling on the slippery driveway at work this morning, after a storm last night, and feeling so embarrassed when i hit the ground... but while gracefully getting back up on my feet (yes, gracefully, i swear it :|) seeing 3 others also on the ground doing the same, lol..

i didn't feel so badly anymore LOL

[Miss Scarlett]

Have Clash of the Titans on the TV...the Kraken is making ugly, loud raken noises and it is totally freaking out my cat...I tried telling her it was only on TV and she's not having any part of it...LOL

[DomnNC]

Taking my dogs out to do their thing. I have a lil black pug mix named Fitch. He was squatting just starting to do his thing when a big piece of ice slid off the roof of the house and hit the ground, it sounded like a gunshot when it hit the ice below. He stopped midstream and was on the front porch hiding behind my legs so fast it'd of made your head spin. I laughed so hard at him, took me forever to get him to go back down and finish his business.

[Miss Scarlett]

Taking my dogs out to do their thing. I have a lil black pug mix named Fitch. He was squatting just starting to do his thing when a big piece of ice slid off the roof of the house and hit the ground, it sounded like a gunshot when it hit the ice below. He stopped midstream and was on the front porch hiding behind my legs so fast it'd of made your head spin. I laughed so hard at him, took me forever to get him to go back down and finish his business.

Awwwww poor Fitch! This ice has just not been his friend! I can hear Sassy snickering too!

[DomnNC]

Awwwww poor Fitch! This ice has just not been his friend! I can hear Sassy snickering too!

She can't snicker too much, she flinched so hard it looked like she jumped but she didn't run, chuckles.

[Miss Scarlett]

She can't snicker too much, she flinched so hard it looked like she jumped but she didn't run, chuckles.

Yeah, but Sassy is the Queen of Cool. She looked at Fitch and said "I meant to do that!"

[Rook]

http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii214/amor_en_silencio_77/ferret-side.jpg

[Blade]

WolfyOne's post
I have some of my mom's old recipes I just dug out in her hand writing and as soon as I can decipher a few, I'll put them up for ya'll.

This cracked me up because it made me think of Sweet and I trying to decipher my Grandma's recipes this summer. She has been dead since 1984 and I have used her recipes and of course have tweaked them to my taste. Truth is she never really used recipes just the ingredients from them.

I remembered years ago I read one that said, one stick oleo. I assumed that was butter, though it could have been anything that can come in sticks. So I called Nannie for comformation...Yep well sorta yep, it was margarine...yes margrine. LOL

So this summer we get out the box to check out the canning recipes and bless her 8th grade educated heart, ya can't hardly read her writing, so I ended up calling Mom for back up.

Now this thought is what cracked me up....When my birthday rolled around, Sweet asked me what kind of cake I wanted. Well of course I wanted Gigi's famous chocolate pound cake..So we dig out the recipe....it was a from scratch recipe....down the way it said....one block of oleo ROFLMAO!!! I couldn't call Nannie she was in the rest home by then and couldn't remember how to use her phone. Mom wasn't sure, so Sweet calls her Mom.....well they decided whatever and finally the cake was a reality. I just get tickled trying to figure out others recipes.

[Kenna]

WolfyOne's post
I have some of my mom's old recipes I just dug out in her hand writing and as soon as I can decipher a few, I'll put them up for ya'll.

This cracked me up because it made me think of Sweet and I trying to decipher my Grandma's recipes this summer. She has been dead since 1984 and I have used her recipes and of course have tweaked them to my taste. Truth is she never really used recipes just the ingredients from them.

I remembered years ago I read one that said, one stick oleo. I assumed that was butter, though it could have been anything that can come in sticks. So I called Nannie for comformation...Yep well sorta yep, it was margarine...yes margrine. LOL

So this summer we get out the box to check out the canning recipes and bless her 8th grade educated heart, ya can't hardly read her writing, so I ended up calling Mom for back up.

Now this thought is what cracked me up....When my birthday rolled around, Sweet asked me what kind of cake I wanted. Well of course I wanted Gigi's famous chocolate pound cake..So we dig out the recipe....it was a from scratch recipe....down the way it said....one block of oleo ROFLMAO!!! I couldn't call Nannie she was in the rest home by then and couldn't remember how to use her phone. Mom wasn't sure, so Sweet calls her Mom.....well they decided whatever and finally the cake was a reality. I just get tickled trying to figure out others recipes.


Who's been dead since 1984?
You write about me and Gigi.... then you say "She's been dead since 1984..."
I'd just like clarification....'cause some days I might feel croaked, but I'm sitting here listening to you mess around in the kitchen making sweet-tater pies, dancing to some funky kind of music and singing "Yummy, Yummy for my tummy!!"

Good thing we are in the "What CRACKED you up?" Thread!!

For the record.... when Gigi wrote "one block of oleo" for the Chocolate Pound Cake.... we BOTH found out that she meant ONE WHOLE BOX (four sticks) of margarine. And for another record, I won't be calling Mom again for questions on someone else's recipe.... she said use one STICK of oleo..... I SWEAR THOSE CAKES TURNED OUT SO HEAVY THAT THEY WOULD MAKE GREAT DOOR STOPS!!!

[Blade]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG you are killin me, do you really think everyone needs to know about my yummy yummy for my tummy song? Really? OK Sweetie Sweet, clears throat and about that sound in the kitchen a while ago.......still laughing at you


Who's been dead since 1984?
You write about me and Gigi.... then you say "She's been dead since 1984..."
I'd just like clarification....'cause some days I might feel croaked, but I'm sitting here listening to you mess around in the kitchen making sweet-tater pies, dancing to some funky kind of music and singing "Yummy, Yummy for my tummy!!"

Good thing we are in the "What CRACKED you up?" Thread!!

For the record.... when Gigi wrote "one block of oleo" for the Chocolate Pound Cake.... we BOTH found out that she meant ONE WHOLE BOX (four sticks) of margarine. And for another record, I won't be calling Mom again for questions on someone else's recipe.... she said use one STICK of oleo..... I SWEAR THOSE CAKES TURNED OUT SO HEAVY THAT THEY WOULD MAKE GREAT DOOR STOPS!!!

[~Bo]

I went rollerskating with my nieces and nephews today. OMG.....what a great time!!!!
I laughed my ass off!!! :rofl:

[girl_dee]

I went rollerskating with my nieces and nephews today. OMG.....what a great time!!!!
I laughed my ass off!!! :rofl:

any pics of such a great time?

[sylvie]

reading Sweet & Blade's convo back and forth! ROFL

and thinking lyrics would be fun to hear for this yummy yummy for my tummy song LOL..

now what on earth is oleo ? :|

[Guy]

I saw a truck today with nuts :rofl:

[~Bo]

any pics of such a great time?





No. And I didn't hit the ground even once. My lil 6 year old niece however, was on her ass most of the day. :seeingstars:

[Blade]

I cracked up all evening while having dinner out with Sweet, Dom and Miss Scarlet. And no they did not get one up on us

[Miss Scarlett]

I cracked up all evening while having dinner out with Sweet, Dom and Miss Scarlet. And no they did not get one up on us

It was a wild time wasn't it? Thank you again!

Ummm...Blade, just because Sweet and I didn't get one up on you two last night doesn't mean you guys are out of the woods...:giggle:

[DomnNC]

I cracked up all evening while having dinner out with Sweet, Dom and Miss Scarlet. And no they did not get one up on us


Speak it Bro, speak it!! lol It wasn't from a lack of trying either!

Again, it was an awesome time filled with laughter and good company!

[DomnNC]

It was a wild time wasn't it? Thank you again!

Ummm...Blade, just because Sweet and I didn't get one up on you two last night doesn't mean you guys are out of the woods...:giggle:

Hmm, something you ate must have made ya delusional, lol.

[Medusa]

I just busted out laughing at work so hard that I have cried all of my eyeliner off and snorted loud enough to bring people out of their cubes.

All over a conversation about how to stop yourself from having a stroke. :|

[Bella~Vita]

WCMUT?

Thinking about Lil Strutt when she was here. My roomate has a cockatiel named Ody ... the lil one was eating breakfast when Ody started talking away.

Lil Strutt : He talks?

Roomie: yes and I talk to him too

Lil Strutt: You speak Bird? :|

[Blade]

While having supper with 3 wonderful souls last night the conversation of me having bought $40 worth of wacky noodles came up.

Miss Scarlot.....what are wacky noodles?

Me and Sweet...you know like for the pool

Miss Scarlot.....wacky noodles

Me....like foam, you could use them on your water pipes

Miss Scarlot....you use foam on water pipes, what for?

Me....to keep your pipes from freezing

Miss Scarlott.....well if they have foam in them how does the water get threw

Me, Dom, Sweet.....:rofl::superfunny::rofl::superfunny::rof l::superfunny:

Me...you don't put the foam in the pipes, you put it around the outside of the pipes.

[durrrrrrrr]

a text message that i got today

[durrrrrrrr]

WCMUT?

Thinking about Lil Strutt when she was here. My roomate has a cockatiel named Ody ... the lil one was eating breakfast when Ody started talking away.

Lil Strutt : He talks?

Roomie: yes and I talk to him too

Lil Strutt: You speak Bird? :|

readin this cracked me up...cuz I know how lil strutt is.

thanks for postin this Kat

[Bella~Vita]

readin this cracked me up...cuz I know how lil strutt is.

thanks for postin this Kat



I almost choked on my coffee I laughed so hard ..she was so serious too..lol

[Miss Scarlett]

Hmm, something you ate must have made ya delusional, lol.

But I didn't eat the Jello...:giggle:

[Kenna]

But I didn't eat the Jello...:giggle:

:rofl: :giggle:

Now that WAS a sight and experience!!
"I suspect you've never had to CHEW your jello?"
Just the look on Dom's face said it all!!
Today when I was thinking about it..... I wondered what would happen if someone put a HUGE batch of that jello in a kiddie swimming pool and did a BELLY FLOP?? From the looks of that jello... that kiddie swimming pool might be a fun attraction at the next Reunion, Pride or other event?

*yeah, that's how my brain works on over loaded days.... kiddie pools filled with jello!!*

[Miss Scarlett]

:rofl: :giggle:

Now that WAS a sight and experience!!
"I suspect you've never had to CHEW your jello?"
Just the look on Dom's face said it all!!
Today when I was thinking about it..... I wondered what would happen if someone put a HUGE batch of that jello in a kiddie swimming pool and did a BELLY FLOP?? From the looks of that jello... that kiddie swimming pool might be a fun attraction at the next Reunion, Pride or other event?

*yeah, that's how my brain works on over loaded days.... kiddie pools filled with jello!!*

I know, right? The look was priceless!

But in a kiddie pool? I dunno, landing on that might be like landing on concrete.

[Miss Scarlett]

While having supper with 3 wonderful souls last night the conversation of me having bought $40 worth of wacky noodles came up.

Miss Scarlot.....what are wacky noodles?

Me and Sweet...you know like for the pool

Miss Scarlot.....wacky noodles

Me....like foam, you could use them on your water pipes

Miss Scarlot....you use foam on water pipes, what for?

Me....to keep your pipes from freezing

Miss Scarlott.....well if they have foam in them how does the water get threw

Me, Dom, Sweet.....:rofl::superfunny::rofl::superfunny::rof l::superfunny:

Me...you don't put the foam in the pipes, you put it around the outside of the pipes.

I was wondering how long it would take for this to surface. :giggle:

[Kenna]

I know, right? The look was priceless!

But in a kiddie pool? I dunno, landing on that might be like landing on concrete.

I'm not sure? I pictured the BOUNCE to be hilarious!!
Kinda like skipping a rock on a pond.... how many bounces would we get with THAT jello?

[Blade]

I was wondering how long it would take for this to surface. :giggle:

The cream always rises to the top

[Miss Scarlett]

I'm not sure? I pictured the BOUNCE to be hilarious!!
Kinda like skipping a rock on a pond.... how many bounces would we get with THAT jello?

Considering that it had little to no wiggle and absolutely no jiggle whatsoever, I'd say one bounce...maybe.

After some discussion, Dom and I concluded it was probably made by Ellie Mae. :giggle:

[Miss Scarlett]

The cream always rises to the top

Oh heck no! I am not going anywhere near this!

[Kenna]

The cream always rises to the top

Ohhhhh!!!
Just for that, we'll add Reddi Wip Cream for your Jello Belly Flop!!
http://media.bigoo.ws/content/gif/foods/foods_326.gif

[Kenna]

Considering that it had little to no wiggle and absolutely no jiggle whatsoever, I'd say one bounce...maybe.

After some discussion, Dom and I concluded it was probably made by Ellie Mae. :giggle:

Hey!!
We could patent that stuff as the new Memory Foam cushion!! It certainly kept it's shape!!

[Blade]

Ohhhhh!!!
Just for that, we'll add Reddi Wip Cream for your Jello Belly Flop!!
http://media.bigoo.ws/content/gif/foods/foods_326.gif

I wouldn't waste Reddi Wip Cream like that I have much more creative uses for that stuff

[Miss Scarlett]

Hey!!
We could patent that stuff as the new Memory Foam cushion!! It certainly kept it's shape!!

Or perhaps pipe insulation?

[Kenna]

Sweet, darlin' I am not going near this one either! He's all yours...:giggle:

SHAME ON YOU!!!
Say that one more time and I'm shipping him to spend the weekend with YOU!! along with ALL the farm critters!!

[HighMainFemme]

One of my daughters favorite lines in Freak Friday was "Mom, you're such a fun sucker. A few days after watching the movie, my daughter turns to me and says, "Mom, you're such a sun f*cker." It took her a moment to realize what she had said. She burst into tears (I dont allow swearing, of course). I had to keep from laughing!!!

[DomnNC]

While having supper with 3 wonderful souls last night the conversation of me having bought $40 worth of wacky noodles came up.

Miss Scarlot.....what are wacky noodles?

Me and Sweet...you know like for the pool

Miss Scarlot.....wacky noodles

Me....like foam, you could use them on your water pipes

Miss Scarlot....you use foam on water pipes, what for?

Me....to keep your pipes from freezing

Miss Scarlott.....well if they have foam in them how does the water get threw

Me, Dom, Sweet.....:rofl::superfunny::rofl::superfunny::rof l::superfunny:

Me...you don't put the foam in the pipes, you put it around the outside of the pipes.

Omg, that made me laugh like crazy again, that was too freaking funny!!

[DomnNC]

:rofl: :giggle:

Now that WAS a sight and experience!!
"I suspect you've never had to CHEW your jello?"
Just the look on Dom's face said it all!!
Today when I was thinking about it..... I wondered what would happen if someone put a HUGE batch of that jello in a kiddie swimming pool and did a BELLY FLOP?? From the looks of that jello... that kiddie swimming pool might be a fun attraction at the next Reunion, Pride or other event?

*yeah, that's how my brain works on over loaded days.... kiddie pools filled with jello!!*

I know! I had to keep trying it to make sure I was actually having to CHEW jello, wth. Even the fork had issues going into it, was the first time I ever had to eat jello with a fork instead of a spoon too!

[DomnNC]

Hey!!
We could patent that stuff as the new Memory Foam cushion!! It certainly kept it's shape!!

You're right! I think we could make a fortune off it! We could even make those memory foam mattresses with it! I wonder if I could steal their recipe, lol, cuz they sure the heck didn't follow the directions on the box!

[DomnNC]

SHAME ON YOU!!!
Say that one more time and I'm shipping him to spend the weekend with YOU!! along with ALL the farm critters!!

Do it! Do it! I double dog dare ya!!!

[DomnNC]

One of my daughters favorite lines in Freak Friday was "Mom, you're such a fun sucker. A few days after watching the movie, my daughter turns to me and says, "Mom, you're such a sun f*cker." It took her a moment to realize what she had said. She burst into tears (I dont allow swearing, of course). I had to keep from laughing!!!

Poor kid, I dunno, I might have had to laugh over that one!

[Rook]

An elephant see's a Camel being paraded in front of his cage at the Zoo, and he asks "Who the fuck put them tits on your back?"..
The Camel not missing a beat replies with "Same bloke who put that fucking dick on your face"

:blink::spit:

[Kenna]

I know! I had to keep trying it to make sure I was actually having to CHEW jello, wth. Even the fork had issues going into it, was the first time I ever had to eat jello with a fork instead of a spoon too!

Are you sure it wasn't "fake" jello?
kinda like those fake deli food displays that's made out of colored apoxy? I'll have to tell you about my sister's childhood experience with "fake" plastic grapes, one day... but it doesn't come close to your Jello fun last night!!

I admit... you were a very good sport letting us laugh and make jest of you!!


You're right! I think we could make a fortune off it! We could even make those memory foam mattresses with it! I wonder if I could steal their recipe, lol, cuz they sure the heck didn't follow the directions on the box!

Memory foam mattresses.... something for the NASA space shuttle...or new cushions for Coach Airplane seats? How about running shoe soles?
Or!!! BETTER YET!!!
How's about we do like Robin Williams and "electrify" some FLUBBER???
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTMBSiDNsae3WaeMsPlma4Lcw00xL79R TzJxjDNYFztyK6dJZnJ7Q
I think "our boat just came in"!!

Do it! Do it! I double dog dare ya!!!

Double dog? REALLY????
Seriously?? :jester: :canoworms:
If you double dog dare me, that means I get to send the other FOUR dogs and FIVE cats to your house for the weekend?

[DomnNC]

Are you sure it wasn't "fake" jello?
kinda like those fake deli food displays that's made out of colored apoxy? I'll have to tell you about my sister's childhood experience with "fake" plastic grapes, one day... but it doesn't come close to your Jello fun last night!!

I admit... you were a very good sport letting us laugh and make jest of you!!


Chuckles, well it was quite funny indeed.



Memory foam mattresses.... something for the NASA space shuttle...or new cushions for Coach Airplane seats? How about running shoe soles?
Or!!! BETTER YET!!!
How's about we do like Robin Williams and "electrify" some FLUBBER???
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTMBSiDNsae3WaeMsPlma4Lcw00xL79R TzJxjDNYFztyK6dJZnJ7Q
I think "our boat just came in"!!

Now that glove looks like the green jello!! I bet it could hold that shape too!



Double dog? REALLY????
Seriously?? :jester: :canoworms:
If you double dog dare me, that means I get to send the other FOUR dogs and FIVE cats to your house for the weekend?

Lol, ohhh nooo, you get to keep them! Don't ya remember that double dog dare from A Christmas Story? Ya gotta do it now, it's the dreaded double dog dare!

[bigbutchmistie]

Coming into my living room and finding Simon drinking out of my glass of soda ... Me to Simon : Boy get out of that glass...

Simon to daddi : OH SHIT daddi caught me.. Trying to move out of the way gets his nose stuck in the glass :)

[Kenna]

Now that glove looks like the green jello!! I bet it could hold that shape too!
That "glove" is FLUBBER....
"it looks like rubber, so he calls it Flubber"
The jello looked like jello, turned out to be tougher than rubber, was "springy" and never failed to "pop" back into it's original shape!! With those qualities, we've got either something similar to Flubber....or a good replacement for old fashioned silicone implants!!!


Lol, ohhh nooo, you get to keep them! Don't ya remember that double dog dare from A Christmas Story? Ya gotta do it now, it's the dreaded double dog dare!
Okay....apparently, we haven't "informed" ya what happens when Sweet gets dared to do something.... :freak: didn't you hear the story last night about the Windstream Repair Tech?

[Miss Scarlett]

Omg, that made me laugh like crazy again, that was too freaking funny!!

It was funny wasn't it?

Somehow I think the three of you are never going to let me live this one down. :giggle:

[Miss Scarlett]

Do it! Do it! I double dog dare ya!!!

Wow, right to the double dog dare bypassing the dog dare!

[DomnNC]

That "glove" is FLUBBER....
"it looks like rubber, so he calls it Flubber"
The jello looked like jello, turned out to be tougher than rubber, was "springy" and never failed to "pop" back into it's original shape!! With those qualities, we've got either something similar to Flubber....or a good replacement for old fashioned silicone implants!!!

Oh, excellent use for it!!


Okay....apparently, we haven't "informed" ya what happens when Sweet gets dared to do something.... :freak: didn't you hear the story last night about the Windstream Repair Tech?

Yep I heard. He left never to return, chuckles.

[DomnNC]

It was funny wasn't it?

Somehow I think the three of you are never going to let me live this one down. :giggle:

Somehow I do believe you're right!

[DomnNC]

Wow, right to the double dog dare bypassing the dog dare!



Chuckles, ahem, it's double dare then double dog dare. You just keep giving us material eh? lol

[Gemme]

Watching Steven Tyler respond to the American Idol contestants cracked me up. Oh, and some of the auditions too, of course.

[Laerkin]

This week's Modern Family. Totally hysterical.

[Miss Scarlett]

Chuckles, ahem, it's double dare then double dog dare. You just keep giving us material eh? lol

Aw man! How could I have forgotten this? Oh the shame of it all!

Well, at least I haven't gotten my tongue stuck to a flagpole...:giggle:

[dixie]

Well crud. I posted it then tried to type somthing and now it's disappeared. Guess I'll go find it again... but in the meantime, thought this was pretty neat too...
http://thereifixedit.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/white-trash-repairs-of-course-the-first-step-involved-beer.jpg

[Rook]

Mum : "Oh crap, I confused movies, no wonder...It's Golda"..

bailey : "Meir?"

Mum: "Yeah, serious chain smoker"

bailey : "yeah, so I hear"

Mum: "Heyy look who played her husband..."

bailey : "heyy ..Spock"...

[both of 'em tryin to do the Hand thingy, Me walkin in, watchin, smirking]

Me: "aww...y'all can't do this?" [successfully impeccably does 'Live Long and Prosper' sign.....with both hands]

Me: "I can also do this"[curls my tongue], Iths genethic!"

Both of 'em :"Gah, fuck you...."
Me: "U hate me cuz u aint me...-MWAH-"
:mohawk: :huhlaugh:

http://media4.teenormous.com/items/faroutshirts.com/images-LiveLong-Preview.png

[DomnNC]

Aw man! How could I have forgotten this? Oh the shame of it all!

Well, at least I haven't gotten my tongue stuck to a flagpole...:giggle:

Like you would admit it if you have!

[Miss Scarlett]

Like you would admit it if you have!

You're right about that...:giggle:

[Miss Scarlett]

A typo made in an email...

[CrankyOldGuy]

There must be a word for complaining vociferously about a wrong being done to you, whilst casually committing said wrong yourself, with no awareness. If it’s not a word, let’s come up with it. Let’s call it an ‘Anchorage Steamer.’ No, wait — a ‘Palin-drome.’...Jon Stewart

[Blade]

I typed in Red Ryder BB Gun into Google. This is what I came up with. I guess the little fart stuck the barrel in his mouth. I've seen kids shot with bb guns but this is a first.

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRHZ4R1C9GW5r5oKOudEYa61mpJNXGaw scT6kjgCei3WZ1_ESfm

[katsarecool]

An eight year old family members asks me in Wal Mart near the customer service area. We were discussing how well he is doing in school. "When we get to third grade that is when we get periods right?" Me: Well Nick I don't know about that.
He was trying to ask me if they would begin changing classes several times a day like the older kids.
I refuse to answer questions about the Birds and the Bees and refer them to their parents. :)

[durrrrrrrr]

tZXM_g3mqew&feature=channel

this commercial cracked me up, especially the last thing the dude says

[lionpaw]

Watching the character on the A- team (Murdock) talking about the golf ball liberation front.....

[Kenna]

Listening to Blade today describe how poor Skippy got a scuffed up nose....

... while we were chatting, I had told my Willy dog to "get out" (because he picks on poor Skippy) and on his way out, he nearly smacked his nose into the door frame and his little back feet slipped out from under him. He "put on the breaks" but they didn't work. I guess his Momma should trim the long hair out of his face so he can see where he's going? He looks like Barkley from Sesame Street!

[1PlayfulFemme]

9ZNbFyfsBWY&feature

[1PlayfulFemme]

xBSYD0dQCAw

[Gemme]

Our after dinner conversation in the car driving home about exactly what Elmo would or would not do for crack, using our own Elmo voices, of course.

We're fantastically brilliant sometimes.

:eyebat:

[ravfem]

Playfulfemme's post reminded me of how much i love The Lion King!

3Tp7YJUpKFg

and this, from The Fox and the Hound.....

JN9RkBUUA40

[Andrew, Jr.]

My male cat got stuck on my fence. He decided that today he doesn't like snow. So I had to go out and get him off the fence.

[Blade]

headlines in the local paper.....Coroner: man hit by train was standing on tracks...DUH!

I have 3 puppy loves in here Skippy is on my bed and Tashi and Willie are laying in the floor beside my desk. Skippy is much smaller than them and he thinks he's a German Shepherd. Anyway Skippy stands up on the edge of my bed and Willie stands in the floor, with his paws on the edge of my bed....they touch noses....I'm thinking this should be good...they eye each other for a few seconds and then lick each other in the nose at the same time. I cracked up I don't think this is what any of the 3 of us expected.

[DomnNC]

Chuckles, they sound like my two. Sassy who is a 60 pound beagle/larger jack breed will kneel down on her front two legs, put her head sideways on the floor so the lil 20 pound pug/chihuahua mix can put his upper body on her head and the growling and noises that come from them you'd think they are getting ready to rip each other's head off but they are just playing, lol. They do it all the time. It cracks me up to watch them.

[Rook]

This caught me offguard....
And made me think.....
rMVMzzWPDSk
What if I encountered that spider, while My femme shrieked??{or boi...cuz I've met boi's who cringe @ bugs}....
:blink::blink:
:cracked:

[sylvie]

Making my bed this morning, whenever my cat notices i'm taking the blankets off to start to make it, he'll run and jump right in the middle of the bed and wait for me to try and put the sheet on.. As soon as i flip it out to cover the bed, he runs from one corner to the next, attacking the corners and then he settles in the middle of the bed so the sheet covers him... Then i'll lay the blankets down and he'll lay there for awhile, all snuggled and warm, until he decides he wants out - and messes my bed up trying to get out LOL.

[Leigh]

My sister being silly watching The Wiggles on youtube

[Miss Scarlett]

Untangling the dog from a bush he was conducting "business" with this afternoon...poor lil' fella :giggle:

[Miss Scarlett]

Learning that someone didn't know what Baby Spring Mix was...LOL

[MissItalianDiva]

I recently got ADDICTED to the new show on Showtime called Shameless so I watched the last two episodes on demand and now I am convinced that show is pure genius.....

[sylvie]

that everytime my cell rings, or i get a text message, it sounds like rice krispies..

LOL
i dropped my cell in water, few nights ago, it's dried out now, but instead of my ringtone, or the sound it usually makes when i get a text message, i hear some cracklin' and snappin'...

that can't be good, but leave it to me lol..
so now each time i get messages or calls, i am crackin' up.
i have a feeling i wont get my sounds back, and will be upgrading my phone soon perhaps LOL oy!

[TxBelle]

Watching my cat try to get the very last drop of yogurt out of the quart container! Then laughing at her yogurt covered face.

[Blade]

Have you met my parents? Ummm so much for a nice quiet evening...........again.

[Blade]

As I merged off of the main road this afternoon I noticed the car in front of me had his right turn signal still blinking. That is pretty normal, a lot of people forget to turn it off after the turn which is really a fork in the road.

I followed the car probably 7 miles out blinker still flashing and he suddenly slammed on breaks........a rafter of turkeys had walked out in the road in front of him....all I can figure is they must have thought he was turning too...shrugs......so after they strutted across the road, the car pulled on off and turned his blinker off.

[Kenna]

As I merged off of the main road this afternoon I noticed the car in front of me had his right turn signal still blinking. That is pretty normal, a lot of people forget to turn it off after the turn which is really a fork in the road.

I followed the car probably 7 miles out blinker still flashing and he suddenly slammed on breaks........a rafter of turkeys had walked out in the road in front of him....all I can figure is they must have thought he was turning too...shrugs......so after they strutted across the road, the car pulled on off and turned his blinker off.

I'm a country bumpkin and have encountered wild turkeys before.....
But what is a rafter of turkeys? I thought your rafters were in the attic? Is there a rafter of turkeys in the attic along with a gaggle of geese? If so, you better get the pooper scooper!!

Ohhhh...and how do you pull a car on off the road? Is it on... or is it off... or is that a nice way of saying the guy swerved on and off the road to keep from hitting the turkeys?

What cracked Sweet up today..... Blade and Sweet always have such fun at home picking and laughing at each other on how we "talk" or say funny things. :cheesy:

[Blade]

As I merged off of the main road this afternoon I noticed the car in front of me had his right turn signal still blinking. That is pretty normal, a lot of people forget to turn it off after the turn which is really a fork in the road.

I followed the car probably 7 miles out blinker still flashing and he suddenly slammed on breaks........a rafter of turkeys had walked out in the road in front of him....all I can figure is they must have thought he was turning too...shrugs......so after they strutted across the road, the car pulled on off and turned his blinker off.

ok so I was exhausted and missed this one LOL I'm just suprised "HSIN" didn't call me out on this one, she's slipping

[Leigh]

A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside. His eye fluttered open and he murmured, "You're beautiful." Flattered the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later, her husband woke up and said, "You're cute." Startled, she asked him, "What happened to beautiful?" "The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

[Blade]

I went to Aldi's to shop today. You have to pay a quarter for a cart and when you return it and hook it back to the other carts it gives you your quarter back.

I go to the buggy area and put my quarter in and it wouldn't let me have a buggy but it let me have 2 buggies. I fought and fought with the buggy to try to get my quarter back so I could get a single buggy.

A lady came up and she held one end of the buggies and I had the other end, at the same time we jerked the shit out of the buggies in opposite directions, all to no avail the buggies didn't come apart and I couldn't get my quarter back so I could get another buggy.

The lady went on into the store and suddenly I realized I had stuck the quarter in the 2nd buggy not the first one that is why it gave me 2 buggies instead of one. DUH!!!! Did I feel like a dork or what? I went on inside and the lady saw me and said oh I see you finally got a buggy. I said yes Ma'am. She said how'd you get it? I told her and we both about wet the floor in the store. I raised up my bangs and said do I have STUPID written up there?

[Kobi]

Was standing in the checkout line at the pharmacy today.
There is a guy behind me. His phone rings.
His 'ringtone' is Oh shit, it's my wife..:sunglass:

[Leigh]

My sister asking My mom to turn on the xmas lights (yes our tree is still up), and then she tells My mom what to say back to her LOL

thats My sister for you :p

[dixie]

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/4f617d9a-601c-4ec4-aa2f-ce12a9f5ac3c.gif

[TickledPink]

Shad and I on our way to Best Buy after dinner.....hy gets over in "another lane" to turn right or pass a car, not sure, and it was "The Bus Stop." We laughed for long time, the guy beside us laughed too!

[Venus007]

I just watched the Frasier episode 11-03 "The Doctor is Out" wherein the director of the Seattle Opera (Patrick Stewart) mistakes Frasier for gay and courts him, It was HILARIOUS, I woke up the dog I laughed so hard.

[lionpaw]

The song on youtube called "take my drunk ass home."

[lionpaw]

A scrapbooking video called: "this is why my desk is a mess." It had a little dog playing with the owner in a tug of war with a scrapbooking flower on top of her desk.

[Random]

Last night after getting home from work... grin...

I had showered, changed into one of Mitmo's Bob Marly tshirt,a pair of paint stained sweats and christmas socks...

I swayed into the living room, climed into her lap and announced...

"I'm dressed to seduce you..."

It made both of us just crack the hell up...

[Mitmo01]

Yesterday I fell horizontally with all my body weight on my left ribs, my legs went out from under me but lucky for me im large and have padding in a lot of places so nothing broke thankfully lol.....but large does go booooooom!!!

this morning i woke up and went and shoveled snow because its just kind of bruised but nothing major....

I was actually laughing after it happened because i must've looked like a total dooofus and you know when you trip its always kind of funny....its like im more embarrassed about looking like an idiot than getting hurt..

but my love took quite good care of me and im fine but it was a trip and fall for the record books lololol

[Rook]

4Xkh6j7RMqk

[Miss Scarlett]

The new wallpaper on my computer...:rofl:

[Kobi]

Sticker, upside down, across the back window of a Ford
Explorer.....

If you can read this, please flip me over.

[Blade]

yesterday while working on Blaze's dog pen, Skippy followed me down there. He came running down there with his 8 pound chest bowed out and ran right up to Blaze's pen growling at Blaze. LOL yeah.. I went to the front and said what are you doin? Get your little butt back up that hill, go on! So he runs up the hill. Dang fool dog...Blaze could eat him in one bite and burp. But ole Skippy doesn't know he's only 7 or 8 pound he thinks he's 100 pounds.

THEN

I get back in the pasture to work on the pen. All of a sudden I hear Skippy yap yap yapping and I look up and his 6 inch tall self is running fast as he can, kickin up leaves and rocks as he goes. Running toward the property line fence...there is a dirt road there. Barking to the top of his lungs....I look up and one of my neighbors is coming home from his afternoon walk....shakin my head I yell at Skip to get on the porch....I swear the little fart, as Sweet calls him, as he has matured he thinks he is 10' tall and bullet proof. It just cracks me up to see him acting like such a big shot.

[Kobi]

Sheldon Cooper to Leslie Winkle on The Big Bang Theory:

"I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive
so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is
reflected off of me, returns on it's original trajectory
and adheres to you."

Guaranteed to render the other speechless for a few.

[Kobi]

http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb464/kobi2/late.jpg

[Rook]

A man walks into a Bar, {yes, a bar joke}, and the Bartender asks
-"What's your poison?"
The man asks for 3 drinks..The bartender, slightly confused, asks
-"Why 3? U're alone"
-"I want 3"
The bartender is slightly annoyed at this point..
-"Ok, but why?"
The guy says -" One for me...One for u...And one for the Cunt u call Mom"
Naturally the bartender beats him to a Pulp and kicks him out...
2 nights later, Same guy, same questions, the bartender glares when he asks for 3 again..
-"Why??"
-" One for me, one for u, and one for the Whore u call Mom"
Another asswhoopin', and a few missing teeth....
On the third time, the guy walks in bruised, bent out of shape, Slurring...
-"I want 2 drinks"
Now he's really confused...
-"Why 2?"
-"Every time I ask for 3, u always beat the fucking shit outta me....So, I want 2 drinks...1 for me, and one for the Bitch that gave birth to u"

{ sounds funnier in spanish :seeingstars: }

[Kobi]

http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb464/kobi2/jaws.jpg

[girl_dee]

cnNtlQm3z4E




the ending is the best part!

[girl_dee]

Still cracking up over that dang video...

[rlin]

cnNtlQm3z4E




the ending is the best part!
im really hoping that the #1 answer was STD!

[lionpaw]

some of the comedy routines on AOL radio....:)

[Turtle]

The ding-dang cat ran up the wall and bounced off the ceiling!!! Bout scared herself to death. It was pretty funny...and she settled down for awhile after that. :blink:

[wimsiclegirl]

Being Teacher In Charge today while "Science Alive" came for a visit....Having to hunt and chase an armadillo that got lose and escaped the classroom :blink: LOL

[SnackTime]

The girl jumping and grabbing my hand while at the movies...She actually made me jump once or twice LOL

[Kobi]

I am visiting my 81 year old Mother. Part of the morning
ritual is sharing the newspaper over breakfast.

One of the articles today was about the Fetish
Convention held in downtown Providence this
weekend complete with photos.

Her response to it? "Hm, people are so much more adventurous
in my day". Followed by, "didn't our german shepherd have a collar like that?"

[dixie]

I drove past one of the local bbq restaurants today and saw that they had their Valentine message up on the board out front. It read "Pork the one you love". I almost hit the ditch laughing...lol

[rlin]

http://www.myspaceanimations.com/images/funny-santa_RIP-graphic.jpg

[PumaJ]

My friend's blog about our favorite figure skater :-)
http://misfitmimes.blogspot.com/

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1157241506760&set=a.1137859902232.15439.1699432147

[Blade]

someone telling me they didn't want my little boy cooties. ROFLMAO!!! Yes I'm still sick, but hopefully not still contagious, and spreading my little boy cooties around.

[UofMfan]

This. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/doug-lansky/7-totally-inappropriate-c_b_830121.html#s247812&title=Ahem_) :) :)

[Kobi]

http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb464/kobi2/left/heel.jpg

[Medusa]

My eyes are big pumpking pies. :)

[Jess]

http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb464/kobi2/left/heel.jpg




Now THAT is hot! I would so ride the lady around in that thing!!

[Jess]

As there are no real restaurants in our area, and no other jobs to speak of, I fill my days working as the office manager at a locally owned Tire / Auto Repair shop.

A woman drops off her daughters car ( she lives behind the shop) and I advise her to park it under one of the open shelters since it has the back window busted out of it, that way if it rains, it may help with any rain damage. ( Note: she was not scheduled to bring the car in until tomorrow anyway.)

As she is giving me her keys to mark and hang on the key rack, she mentions that she locked one of the front doors, but couldn't reach the other door, asking if we would mind "locking it up because her daughter has a bunch of jewelry and stuff in there". I look at her rather perplexed, but offer an "em, yeah.... Ok?!" She smiles and leaves.

The really nice well mannered lady in the waiting area has overheard all of this and is watching me as I watch the other lady leave and says " is she for fucking real??????" I about pissed cause that is exactly what was going through my head. " HEY LADY.. YOUR PIECE OF CRAP HAS NO BACK WINDOW!!!! WHY BOTHER LOCKING IT???"

Anyway, that was my funny today. I just can't believe folks sometimes..LOL

[justpjhere]

watching my 16 year old nephew try and ask a girl for a date...priceless...

[WingsOnFire]

A post on a submissive group I belong to.. The lady was looking up whips on amazon... WHILE she was working at a library... on online chat with a customer answering a question on how to spell something...

YEP.. She sent the link for the whip instead of the word she was trying to spell. OOOPPSSS:blink:.

[SmoothButch]

I looked outside a few minutes ago and there were about a hundred birds swarming around our two bird feeders. I guess word got out, lol

[Medusa]

Jackhammer recounting her dream to me.

Jack: "Honey, I had a dream last night that Cinderella was helping me get on a ride so that I could get back to you"

Me: "WHAT? Cinderella? Like a cartoon or a real Cinderella?"

Jack: "A real one. She had a wand and everything"

Me: "BWAAAAHHAAAAAAA. Babe, I don't think Cinderella ever had a wand, BWAAHHHAAAAAAAAAA"

Jack, very seriously: "Well this one did"

Me: Hysterical laughter

Jack: "She was a really nice Cinderella"

Me: More hysterical laughter

Jack : "It's not funny, I was upset"

Me, spewing coke all over the dining room.

[amiyesiam]

Jackhammer recounting her dream to me.

Jack: "Honey, I had a dream last night that Cinderella was helping me get on a ride so that I could get back to you"

Me: "WHAT? Cinderella? Like a cartoon or a real Cinderella?"

Jack: "A real one. She had a wand and everything"

Me: "BWAAAAHHAAAAAAA. Babe, I don't think Cinderella ever had a wand, BWAAHHHAAAAAAAAAA"

Jack, very seriously: "Well this one did"

Me: Hysterical laughter

Jack: "She was a really nice Cinderella"

Me: More hysterical laughter

Jack : "It's not funny, I was upset"

Me, spewing coke all over the dining room.



Ami: (finish laughing) My mom called me Cinderella when I was young

Corkey: Cinderellie

Ami: Don't:|

[Gemme]

...dressed in yellie...

[Jess]

When I can only dream of busting these moves...Maybe if I had a back-up beep beep thingy...

YouTube - Funny Grandpa Dancing To Techno

[Jess]

and this... it has been a funny day...

http://twitpic.com/show/large/477lhg

[Medusa]

Breaking out into a very terrible rendition of "Hillbilly Bone" with Nancy much to the incredible shock and laughter of the rest of the pod.

:)

[Kobi]

http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb464/kobi2/ko/princess.jpg

[Medusa]

Coworkers and I were having a discussion about the use of the "c-bomb".

W was very red in the face and thought it was kinda awesome that I was so freely discussing it when he thought that "most women hate that word".

B, a gay man, was also visibly red in the face and said that he couldnt even remember the last time he heard someone use that word.

A chimed in and said that she didnt have any problem with the word unless someone called her the "c-bomb" in anger, then she'd "whoop someone's behind"

I piped up and said, "I wouldn't even be upset if someone called me a "c" in anger. Hell, I'd be more upset if they called me a "Republican".

Everyone scattered as soon as I said that.

HYSTERICAL!

[Kenna]

"Blade sters" :pointing: :pointing: :rofl: :rofl: :cracked: :cracked: :giggle: :giggle:

[Soon]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/18/divorce-comedy-8-comedian_n_837402.html#s254940&title=Kathy_Griffin

[Kenna]

sis wears a 10-12 in kids and i wear a small in womans and if u want to get us flip-flops i wear 7-8 or if they run in a eightjust get those and moms birthday si APRIL 17 SHE WILL B 33!!!! shes getting old myn is june 17 i will be thirteen finally a teenager!!! its finally here!!!!!!


I must be an ancient aunt since I'm older than her momma?

[LeftWriteFemme]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9siiraJn4xU/TM2QznTZEkI/AAAAAAAAAF8/SFf9gNozlxE/s1600/Peppermint+Patty.jpg

[Rook]

Walkin' along the main street uptown, i had my ballcap on with my usual clothes & My rainbow "Pride" button on my jackets collar {it states "and so what if I am?"}, 2 sorority chicks walkin' by gigglin', wearin' barely-there shorts *with greek letters on each ass cheek*, tanks & sneakers...
Right when we crossed path the blond said out loud
"Maybe u just haven't found the right woman kid, wait till college!"
I didn't hesitate and turned with grin that would make cheshire Cat envious..
"Are you offering me your services free of charge?"
The stunned look on their face was fuckin priceless, tickled me Pink ..

:mohawk:

[Kenna]

While out today running chores, Blade was getting several texts from his mom.... when he's driving, I answer his texts.... but she got me with this one....

her text: I picked up some flappers!

my response: :| :| **picturing a odd but funny visual of Blade's mom wearing flappers .... not flippers .... to flap around the yard** :| :| if you only knew the woman, this would crack you up too!!!

Me: Blade? what's flappers? :blink:

[Kobi]

The traffic was backing up as I headed into town today.
So, I decided to take an unexpected detour. I also
forgot to use my blinker.

The huge suv pulling out of the road I turned on to
had a driver who bore an uncanny resemblence to
Andy Rooney. I smiled at him. He responded with
:thefinger: and some expletives followed by use
the damn blinker.

When I finished laughing, I smiled knowing someday soon,
I too, will be of the age where I can do things others will
see as cute for my age. :blink:

[Miss Scarlett]

The reason why my boss was about 20 minutes late for her first client this morning...

Her little dog decided to make a detour through downtown Concord this morning as they were getting out of the car...she usually doesn't have him on a leash because 99.99% of the time he doesn't do this...thinking he'll likely be on a leash tomorrow morning...

(I won't take him out without one and keep 4 or 5 in the office.)

[Guy]

Watching Kirstie Alley on dancing with the stars!

[Miss Scarlett]

This did...have never seen a receipt from the SC Courts, but the ones in NC indicate how something was paid as well as the associated matter...

Police: Fake money used to pay court fine
By Kimberly Dick

ROCK HILL - Someone used fake money to pay court fines in Rock Hill, police say.

Six $100 bills used at Rock Hill Municipal Court to pay fines were returned from a bank Tuesday, according to a Rock Hill police report.

The bills were found to be counterfeit.

The clerk of court alerted police Tuesday, and the fines are believed to have been paid with the fake money Friday.

The bills were not sequential.

Officers are looking into those who paid larger fines last week, and no arrest has been made

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/03/23/2166002/police-fake-money-used-to-pay.html

[BullDog]

I heard the cats batting something around so I went to investigate. The little devil kitty got up into the kitchen cupboard and dragged a bag of cat snacks out and brought it upstairs. I guess the cats wanted a snack. :D

[prettylilgrrl]

YouTube - Which is the Guilty Dog



Soooo funny.

[Kenna]

The best damn laughing fit I've had with my Roomie in a very long time!!!
Since I've known Blade, I don't think I've laughed so much or as hard in my whole life!! We sure have had some damn good "what CRACKED you up" moments!!!

Tonight's hysterical laughter was brought to you courtesy of: Blaze the birthday-Boy and "HAWTflash"!! :giggle::giggle:

*disclaimer.... Blaze was not harmed in the making of this event.... Blade, however, is still recovering and in need of a nurse.

(note to Blaze..... You gotta call your buddy about this one!! :rofl: :rofl:)

[Kenna]

Didn't I just say Blade was recovering and in need of a nurse?
Just as I posted that, he called from his "corner" for a heat wrap!! :giggle:

:weightlifter:

[Blade]

Actually it was Saturday. While at work one of the women was vacuuming cobwebs and was wearing one of those paper respirator face masks. Normally on Saturday's she is out running around to garage sales. It got to be break time and she lifted the mask and put it on top of her head.

Soooo while sitting in the break room, just as seriously and without cracking a smile. One of the guys says S. that's a cute little hat you have there did you get it at a garage sale? She reached up on top of her head not realizing what he was talking about at first....and the whole break room vibrated we were laughing so hard

[Miss Scarlett]

Sitting around with a couple of my friends (in the shop owned by one of them) after work tonight swapping silly stories and laughing like hyenas over my conversation Sunday with the owner of a cool shop up in Maggie...:giggle:

[Miss Scarlett]

This afternoon a client asked my boss had she considered breeding her dog, a Shih Tzu, with a Bull Dog...resulting in a Bull Sh**....:giggle:

[weatherboi]

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksha4rMyO41qzs83zo1_r1_500.jpg

[Tommi]

http://www.endlesssimmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/peeps.jpg

[Rook]

In a last ditch effort to coerce Enik [my Siberian husky] into his nicely cushioned Carrier, I added 2 homemade doggy biscuits, and a cored apple..
He scrambled in after the Apple, he has a habit of snarling-barks when the Crate closes, all "Talk", however...
This time, when closing the "wire" door, his mouth was jealously wrapped around said Apple, and he tried barking..
Apple fell, he picked it up.."FHOOF FHOOFH !!"-plop-*bite* "FOOHF!"
All i could muster was "gawds, stop talkin with yer yap full, you're killin me here" between hysteric laughs...
:cracked:

[tommyboy66]

2am while reading BFP..
(being still new here)

I came across what I thought said..?

SHORE WHORES
:blueheels:
Women who live near the shore..!

tommyboy66

[Legendryder]

Watching Bob get his temp taken at his yearly exam. Kept looking over his shoulder. The look on his face was priceless. Like "Dude, what are you doing back there? That is a one way street yanno!!"

[asphaltcowboi]

looking all over the house for my wallet realizing an hour later it was in my pocket

[Rook]

jTjHwucj3yU

:cracked::happyjump::rofl:

[dixie]

Went to lunch with the folks then went to visit the great-aunt who lives below us. Decided to go out to the barn between her house and my house, to take some pics and play around with my new camera. There's a lot of cool stuff still in there from years ago. Stuff from not only my childhood but my dad's as well. We haven't had horses in there in over 20 years yet there are still bridles and plow pulls hanging around so I thought those would be neat to photograph.

Well, while doing that, my dad decides to go poking around in the barn loft where we used to hang tobacco. Mom and I went up to see what he had found, because we also kept our trapping stuff up there. We made it up just in time to see the rotted boards snap and Dad start falling. Luckily, his butt landed on one of the support beams with legs dangling off each side. Mom and I both almost had heart failure while Dad just dangled there, laughing his ass off.

Anyone who's seen my dad knows he is a not a small guy. So, I wrapped myself around another support beam while holding onto my 5'2" scrawny mother as she pulled my 6'3" 350lb Dad up and out of the hole he got himself into. We all ended up cracking up. Then we heard something start rattling in a pile of old stacked up tobacco sticks so we all hauled ass out of there, laughing as we ran. Yeah, it's been an interesting day so far, to say the least. LOL

[StillettoDoll]

Accidentally took my dogs medication yesterday! :confused:

[Gemme]

Accidentally took my dogs medication yesterday! :confused:

Was your hair extra shiny and soft?

:giggle:

[Inked_Trinity]

Seeing blue flame graphics on a Honda mini van!!!!!! :carride:

[amnesia.bfp]

Was I laughing?

I can't remember.

Who am I?

[msW8ing]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:rofl:Seeing blue flame graphics on a Honda mini van!!!!!! :carride:

[Tcountry]

Having the nephew snuggle up on the couch with me & his momma saying, "i give up...I'm not the parent anymore" lol

We all laughed

[UofMfan]

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j269/translator08/calculus.jpg


http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j269/translator08/english.jpg

[swan]

Sweet Lynx kitty being a young, playful kitty instead of a shy, not to sure if the human is friendly kitty. And then coming up to and meowing politely for some petting.

[Kenna]

I tell ya...it can be dangerous to laugh so hard when you've had an awful cough :cough: and chest cold for over a month.........

right before quitting time today, I was talking to a new staff member when one of our Nurses suddenly pops around the corner of my cubicle...so suddenly, she startled me... she had this very amused look on her face and stated: "I know you're into a lot of things, do you have a whip I could borrow tomorrow?"

...my reaction was :blink: :blink: ....and the new staff member standing with us had stopped her conversation very abruptly and was so stunned that she looked frozen!! I literally shook the stunned look off my face and asked "what??"... she chuckled and said "do you have a whip?"... I busted out laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe!! *coughing fit ensued*...I thought I needed my inhaler!! After I recovered, I managed to say "my roomie used to own horses, I think he might have a few training whips or riding crops?"... she responded "YEAH!! that's what I want!!...I knew you were the one to ask!!" ...WHY ON EARTH she thought I'd be the one to ask is BEYOND me!! :blink: :blink: (I never share that side of me at work :cheesy: ).......I thought the new staff member was going to drop from not breathing and my ribs were hurting from coughing and laughing too hard!! The Nurse left as suddenly as she had appeared, with a very happy, goofy look on her face...planning her Halloween tricks and treats! :girldevil:

Later I tracked her down to her cubicle and whispered "You know... when you asked me that question, I thought to my self that I do have a friend that's in the BDSM Community who has a few of those, but I wouldn't ask him to borrow one!!"...it was her turn to laugh!! but she didn't blush like I thought she would!

She said the riding crop would do "just fine" :winky:

[uglyboi]

Beasley did find this amusing today, but while we were at the grocery store I would hide behind displays and then jump out at people and yell, "Peek-a-boo!".

I cracked myself up everytime I did it.

[*Anya*]

Turned out my date today was an ex-nun. I asked her what she thought the per cent of nuns were lesbian. She said, "80-90%".

I said: "Seriously?" She said: "Well, based on the number I slept with in my order, that is".

Cracked me up!

[Soon]

funny but sad in a way

URPKfCaiVsA#at=65

[Passionaria]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/299845_10150513560129569_271730554568_11292732_136 6576169_n.jpg

[Soon]

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2011/11/ellens_thoughts_on_the_virgin_diaries_1130.php

:|

[Corkey]

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2011/11/ellens_thoughts_on_the_virgin_diaries_1130.php

:|

Brings new meaning to suck face...There's a reason to practice people!!!!!!!!

[Kenna]

I didn't feel like going to town tonight after busting my butt all day, so I asked Blade to pick up something I had forgot when we were in town, cleaning out the storage shed... he called from the store...

"what color are they?"

Me: :blink: :blink: that wasn't a question I expected

[Scuba]

The Grover Near Far video...I'm still chuckling over that one.

[Bootsandheels]

A Swedish Chef video posted here today...with pumpkins becoming pies...OMG...cracked me up and made me feel infinitely better (home with cold tonight...sigh) Still smiling though! :)

[Scuba]

A Swedish Chef video posted here today...with pumpkins becoming pies...OMG...cracked me up and made me feel infinitely better (home with cold tonight...sigh) Still smiling though! :)

Aaawww :( Tea, snuggly blanket and movie will help...promise! :tea: Feel better!!!

[Bootsandheels]

Aaawww :( Tea, snuggly blanket and movie will help...promise! :tea: Feel better!!!


Check...check and check! Will do! Thanks Scuba!

[Morgan]

My 6 year old great niece at her Birthday Party today, telling me all about Justin Bieber....what a crack up, she was telling me about his shoes, lol.

[Rook]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/386688_10150533635098465_129446698464_10821701_143 019360_n.jpg

[Kobi]

The Massachusetts DMV no longer issues renewal notices for drivers licenses. Same might be true for professional and trade licenses as well.

Apparently they feel if you are old enough to drive and have a career, you are old enough to remember to renew your licenses.

Drivers licenses are renewed every 5 years; trades and prof every 2 years. It is a cost cutting measure. But I wonder how much revenue is lost when people forget?

I cant remember what I had for breakfast.

[Truly Scrumptious]

q4a9CKgLprQ

[Honey]

Flashback to last years Christmas party, when a coworker informed me that the dish she brought to the pot luck, was mac & cheese made with breast milk !!!

[Deborah]

Exactly why I dont like to eat stuff that I dont know who cooked it or how clean their kitchen is.....ewwwwww no thanks I want to know what I'm eating :(

[Cin]

q4a9CKgLprQ

Kids sure have a sense of entitlement.

When I was a kid I had to get a job (this was before the child labor laws) and work overtime to make money for xmas. I had to walk to it uphill twenty miles both ways in the dark through snow and freezing rain, and then I had to buy my own presents and buy the wrapping paper and wrap them myself. And it had to be stuff we needed around the house like hamburg and rice and comet cleanser. And I always said thank you when I unwrapped them.

What's wrong with kids today.

[*Anya*]

Yes, this is old, but I just came across it today and it did crack me up!

"Best man left bleeding after being hit in head by flying dildo"

February 12, 2011

by Richard Farmer
The Northern Territory News once again has staked its claim for Best Headline of the year!

Entertainment for Peter Rolih’s pre-wedding party was inspired by that famous scene of the woman expelling the ping pong balls in the comedy film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. But this time the projectiles were not little celluloid objects but something rather more solid. And when the scantily clad exotic dancer performed her party trick – shooting dildos at the guests from her private parts, best man Darwin architect Jure Skumavc, 31, found himself in the firing line. As the Rupert Murdoch ownedNorthern Territory News reports this morning, Mr Skumavc was injured by the bullet-shaped, pink, sex toy – measuring about 12cm in length.

Mr Skumavc was still sporting a scar on his forehead at Mr Rolih’s wedding nearly three weeks after being dinged by the artificial dong.

Mr Skumavc said about eight other friends joined Mr Rolih for the party. He said the pink projectile was flying an impressive 7m across the room and looping about 2m high. “It wasn’t a strong shot (when it hit me in the head),” he said. “It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle.”

“She was shooting it through the room from one corner to the other,” he said. “Other people got it in their chest and knees. I was the only one bleeding. It was my turn and it landed straight on my forehead. “She started apologising straight away but I just said it was fine … then I touched my forehead and there was blood."

[*Anya*]

Flashback to last years Christmas party, when a coworker informed me that the dish she brought to the pot luck, was mac & cheese made with breast milk !!!

Was that before or after you had eaten some, lol!

:)

[Jett]

9iLaoEhrkDc

[Gemme]

q4a9CKgLprQ

I do love your cooking...like when you make hot pockets...

:blink:

I have to say that it's a good thing that brat of a boy calling his parents stupid and that last boy aren't mine. They would never say shit like that again, I assure you.


However...today, I was talking with the daughter of a long time customer and we were talking about her parents losing the keys to their lock and she said, "They're old. They shouldn't have keys" and it just cracked me the Hell up because we'd been discussing what her dad and his brother....a couple of sixty somethings....were doing when they lost the keys and it just rubbed my funny bone.

[Cid]

This guy at work always calls me a freakin' hippie. Today he named me Moonflower..lol. That really cracked me up. :peacelove:

[JustLovelyJenn]

i got out of bed this morning to make sure my son got his pills.... just in time to watch him walk back through the back door... in boxer briefs and his coat... holding the key to the shed... and a truly disappointed look.... he couldn't get the shed door unlocked to see the christmas presents... that cracked me up.

[SnackTime]

Being razzed by few people last night.

Being asked a few hundred questions about her.

The bantering amongst friends.

Being conned into going to a bar because it was someone's birthday Bumpah.

Her laughter when I was telling her a few things on the phone outside the restaurant.

[Soon]

----01/06/2012
I support Gay Sex and Abortion because I'm for anything that prevents another Rick Santorum from coming into this world.

[Truly Scrumptious]

CeZyiOW9-uU

[SmoothButch]

Betty White’s Off Their Rockers

[RockOn]

I texted a femme friend today with photos of an '04 Chevy Avalanche 4x4 . It is candy color blue, awesome mudgrips - lifted to the sky. I test drove it. Anyway, she texted me back and all she said was something to the tune of how happy she is for me because she knows I am really enjoying my day off with this truck.

She then proceeded to describe how she is into a movie marathon today, etc. ... not one single comment about this beautiful truck.

I sent her another text and asked her what did she think of the truck and be honest ... if she thought it was ugly and hated it, then just say it.

I received a text back shortly . She said, "it's a pretty truck."

I was sitting in my truck when I read her one little comment about this sensational vehicle. For a couple of minutes, all I could do was gaze out the window dumbfounded. Then it registered. LOL! Guess with all my excitment, I was a little slow. I really had a good laugh.

[Kobi]

The local newspaper published an article on "some of the worst analogies written by high school students". These are amusing yet also kind of sad. Hope these kids dont have to take the MAT's.


Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room-temperature beef.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbarge truck backing up.
The red brick wall was the color of a red brick crayola crayon.
The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
It came down the stairs looking much like something no one had ever seen before.
The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10% cyan, 10% magenta, 60%yellow, and 10% black.


http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com

[adorable]

Showing that smug avatar in Just Dance 3 for wii the definition of pwnd.

[Scuba]

7y6dDQ129UM

[Scuba]

wofsgfQ2VSc

[Sassy]

The look on my manager's face when a staff member pipes up to correct a young reporter: "Herman Cain dropped out of the race." ... :| ... (How did they not know that?!!!)

[ButchEire]

Well, ummm, yay?
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7172/6798949209_e1d386701a.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/49659065@N07/6798949209/)
hotlips (http://www.flickr.com/photos/49659065@N07/6798949209/) by Unleashed Image (http://www.flickr.com/people/49659065@N07/), on Flickr

[SnackTime]

The pup howling at me for the first time yesterday morning. She seems to do this when she is excited.

[girl_dee]

The internet, it cracks me up on so many fun and scary levels!

[spritzerJ]

When she fell to the floor and pretended to faint because pancakes would not be appearing at that very moment just because she brought me the box of bisquick. And as if I would feed her bisquick pancakes. Followed by her strict supervision of my pancake making cause I was going so slow. Child...you kill me.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Yesterday, one of the blokes at the Disabled Arts Studio started dancing to the music that was playing….to say he was dancing like your Dad at a family Wedding was an understatement! LOL! He had his thumbs up in the air and said: “This music’s got a good beat!” I was struggling to breathe I was laughing so hard! LOL!

It reminded me of the Angel episode “I Don’t Dance.” I affectionately say anyone who dances like this as having gone to the ‘Angel School of Dancing’, lol!

U-_mxBkRbGk&feature=related

[Scuba]

_rw5tw58grc

and

B1Vcbm-XWtg

[starryeyes]

The person I was working with today. Really!? never worked with someone who looked or acted so unprofessional in my entire career. I wonder how these people don't get weeded out of the field... very interesting. Needless to say, I did crack up!

[Slowpurr]

Don't blame Serge, he had a traumatic childhood.

llks4FaEtE0

[genghisfawn]

Hearing someone say, "squat and cough" (and not like you'd think.) I swear my sense of humour belongs to someone who's 8 years old and male.

[BrutalDaddy]

Femmsational and I were watching a new game show called Total Blackout.

Purpose of show is playing on people's fears and phobias by having them compete in complete darkness. One of the contestants was this hilarious gay guy who just had us laughing until it came time for the contestants to rely on their sense of smell to guess what the "object" is.

He slides the little slot back, takes a huge sniff and goes...."Ooooo I know this one!"

.............It was a man's ass.......ROTF!!!!!

And yes, he finally guessed it right. lol.

[spritzerJ]

First grade boy says to me... "what happened to your lips?"
Me: that is lip gloss.
first grade boy: "oh, and what happened to your eyes?"
me: "eye shadow. it is make up and it is normal sometimes."
first grade boy: "well it is new on you."

[femmsational]

LMAO!!!


The Brutal One just got home from 5 days on the road. First time in....7 years....I think, that we've been apart that long. First thing he does is hug me and then we start talking. I notice that his eyes are much lower than normal. Like not looking at my face. So I ignore it thinking that his neck is probably sore from driving. He goes to change and comes back out of the room and walks through the living room, once again he's talking.......to somewhere lower than normal. I still think, eh, maybe he's just tired and doesn't realize what he's doing. Couple minutes later, we're in the kitchen getting pizza. Brute reaches for the plate I'm handing him and this time there is NO mistaking where he's looking. LMAO!!! I totally called him on it and it embarressed the heck outta him.


So what cracked me up is that obviously when we are apart for a period of time, he reverts back to a 13 year old boy going through puberty. LOL~~~


Still cracking up!!!



julie

[BrutalDaddy]

LMAO!!!


The Brutal One just got home from 5 days on the road. First time in....7 years....I think, that we've been apart that long. First thing he does is hug me and then we start talking. I notice that his eyes are much lower than normal. Like not looking at my face. So I ignore it thinking that his neck is probably sore from driving. He goes to change and comes back out of the room and walks through the living room, once again he's talking.......to somewhere lower than normal. I still think, eh, maybe he's just tired and doesn't realize what he's doing. Couple minutes later, we're in the kitchen getting pizza. Brute reaches for the plate I'm handing him and this time there is NO mistaking where he's looking. LMAO!!! I totally called him on it and it embarressed the heck outta him.


So what cracked me up is that obviously when we are apart for a period of time, he reverts back to a 13 year old boy going through puberty. LOL~~~


Still cracking up!!!



julie

Erm........... Okay, okay..........YES! I was staring at them alright?!

How was I supposed to know that being gone for 7 days would cause me revert back to being a 13 year old boy going through puberty?!?!?!


Oh Yes They Are Good To Look At,
Brute.

[*Anya*]

Now these cracked me up today, lol!


The local newspaper published an article on "some of the worst analogies written by high school students". These are amusing yet also kind of sad. Hope these kids dont have to take the MAT's.


Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room-temperature beef.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbarge truck backing up.
The red brick wall was the color of a red brick crayola crayon.
The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
It came down the stairs looking much like something no one had ever seen before.
The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10% cyan, 10% magenta, 60%yellow, and 10% black.


http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com

[bunni]

This:
http://www.regretsy.com/2012/05/12/weekend-flashback-family-tithes/

[Rook]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/543059_412394935460119_291294860903461_1224632_211 8499206_n.jpg

:huhlaugh:

[WingsOnFire]

Watching my beagle growl and bark at the sliding glass door... and trying to convince her that it is HER reflection.. lol.. That was funny...

[always2late]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/524926_316102328465269_177387432336760_734600_1224 654596_n.jpg

[jac]

Not sure if I have already put this in here sometime in the past ( I don't think so) but I'm too lazy right now to look and it's too early to care sooooo....

This woman walks into an ice cream shop and asks... :rofl:
woman: can I have a chocolate cone?
attendent: we don't have any.
woman: oh. can I have a cup with a scoop of chocolate then?
attendent: we don't have any.
woman: well, then can I have a mix of chocolate and vanilla?
attendent: *deep frustrated sigh* do you see the "straw" in strawberry?
woman: uh huh?
attendent: do you see the "van" in vanilla?
woman: yes!
attendent: do you see the "freak" in chocolate?
woman: there is no freakin' chocolate!
attendent: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!! :pointing:

Have a nce day... and don't be pissin' off the ice cream attendent today!! :superfunny:

[Morgan]

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[scootebaby]

reading my Here & now post and realizing i used Cowboi's answer for where i was leaving for :blink: :cracked:

reckon i need to pay closer attention!

[LaneyDoll]

I was on the phone with my mom, trying to get her the tech support number for Kindle. I gave her the number then said, "Hey, they have an option to call you. Would you rather me have them just do that?"

She said, "ok, hang on a second." Then "yells" to my kids who are visiting her, "Guys, where is my phone? I need my phone, I am expecting a call."

I hear my oldest saying, "um, Meme, you are talking on it."

~giggling begins~

:sparklyheart:

[jac]

A facebook status from a friend and response from her mom... :rofl:

status reads: pooped. shower and then bed. work at 5.
mother: we do not need to know when you go poop! that is kinda personal.
friend: I wasnt saying that I need to poop people. lol Im saying that I'm tired. lol
:cracked:

[Turtle]

OK, so first I was watching Kevin Hart on Netflix (please don't bother me about this, he's not totally PC, but neither am I all the time and he's fuckin funny)...LAUGHING my ass off...

AND then I'm reading the "Hellions" thread and come across Medusa tying a girl to the tetherball pole with a jump rope and the teacher didn't notice for awhile....in KINDERGARTEN! I'm very visual...I'm still crackin up...

Thank you, Medusa!

[jac]

I went with my daughter and grandson (2.5yo) to sibling class at the hospital. There were six other kids and various other sidecicks (parents, etc) along for the ride....

Nurse: Julain how old are you?
Julian: Seven!!
:rofl:

[MrSunshine]

"These candidates are bullshit, all you're doing is picking out the dick that's going to fuck you"!