What Cracked You Up Today?

[Ginger]

I woke up about 4 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, so I watched cable a while, and caught this show called Gigolos.

Oh. My. God. I was laughing out loud. Those guys are D-U-M-B.

But nice.

Guess you had to be there.

[Degotoga]

A hilarious, and somewhat risqué, conversation that began innocently enough with a very sweet sentiment. We were both laughing so hard we were wiping tears from our eyes. I adore the femmes in my life that have no qualms about saying what's on their mind.

[TruTexan]

FTcjzaqL0pE



this cracked me up today. just watch the video it'll make you laugh too when he runs with the food in his hands...... lmao

[Soon]

R9rymEWJX38#t=84

[cinnamongrrl]

my little mama.....asking me how to take a selfie...lol

[cinnamongrrl]

my little Lizzie bug....

We were talking about things that would be good for her apartment for cooking.... I suggested a crock pot...and she said "I think I really want one of those Gary Coleman grills!!" :|

After I stopped laughing...I had to tell her she meant "George Foreman". Liz being Liz...she was all..."isn't that what I said??" That's my baby.... <3

[Smiling]

Subject: Password

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"cabbage"

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"50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss,IfYouDon'tGi veMeAccessNow”

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[Kobi]

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7d/29/ee/7d29ee90fe3a1c9a6686d9959d6d0e24.jpg

[cinnamongrrl]

I got a shrieky panicked call from my eldest child....theres apparently a GINORMOUS spider in her apartment....

I go there fast as I can (in my jammies) to help her with said spider. I let myself in....and am greeted with the sight of my grown child on a chair pointing and shrieking..... lol

She didnt get that from my side of the family.... I caught the admittedly massive spider and rehomed him to a shrub outside...I think his name will be Stanley...

[cinnamongrrl]

the latest commercial for hotels.com....

Im a sucker for imaginative ads....and when they include dark humor....its even gooder.... :)

[Gemme]

the latest commercial for hotels.com....

Im a sucker for imaginative ads....and when they include dark humor....its even gooder.... :)

Captain Obvious?

[cinnamongrrl]

Captain Obvious?

yes!.! with the finger on the floor??

[Gemme]

yes!.! with the finger on the floor??

Yes, but don't stop now. There's more!

Johnny, tell the people what they've won!

lyRliaitQWs

uCsVU9P8DbI

TSRiLX-Qggk

qt7an2VJ3sA

cgb7W9VLkI4

And something for fun:

GVaQ5aeGiO0

I totally cracked up at a few of these.

[Diablo]

omg this made me laugh/!!! its sooooo true!!

[*Anya*]

Fargo on FX. I laugh till I nearly cry each week.

Billy Bob is just terrific.

When I first read about it, I wondered why they would make a series out of a classic but it is great.

:scarytv:

[Kenna]

I'm still cracking up....
While trying to catch a 2 pound crazy guinea bird, my roommate and I had to finally pin her between the chicken cage and a portable 3 level wire cage...I yelled at Blade to "block that side" and as he did, the crazy guinea did a complete BACK FLIP trying to get out the other side. The back flip cracked me up...and for a critter who's brain is about the size of 2 peas..she did a great, smart job of evading us for about a half hour and many crazy trips circling the chicken cage.

[cinnamongrrl]

I caught the end of the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous....
Its definitely dark humor...which appeals to me....lol

[cinnamongrrl]

my mother's dog....trying to bark with a ball in her mouth....lol

[Kenna]

I cracked up at Mawmaw hinting she wanted to be treated to a pedicure.

[cinnamongrrl]

my knitting lady/ client....

she was telling me about her friend at church and how she sits in the front pew with all her grandchildren each week....

I told her my (childhood) theory that thr REALLY good people sit in the front because they arent afraid for god to see them...

She paused and looked down and said.... "Well....I dont sit in the front pew...." Then she looked at me with twinkling eyes and we both just guffawed about that.....Im still chuckling even now.... :)

[cinnamongrrl]

my mothers pit bull pup....

she's discovered bugs! Now she spends heaps of her outside time looking at the ground.....ears perked...snuffing the grass here and there....lol Its the cutest thing ever.... I keep waiting for her to hear a Who.... :)

[Bèsame*]

Being distracted...can lead you in the wrong direction. Like missing your turn off, well, two of them to be exact. Using only a few choice words, lol. Then getting stuck in traffic going the wrong way. Making only one u-turn and realizing.....maybe traffic was on my side today..

Lol lol

[Kobi]

CSK1D3bZhRs

[Cid]

I was walking into work and a friend showed me something from facebook.
It said....If I died today and went to hell,
it would take me at least a week to realize I'm not at work!

That cracked me up!:superfunny:
(sadly, it's true)

[bobbi46]

Watching my friend get splash by a car when it drove into a puddle ....then not paying attention same puddle different car got me ....Karma ....nothing to do but LOL...goodtimes!:)

[WingsOnFire]

Watching Riley and Peppa run laps through the house going between my roomate and I

[EnchantedNightDweller]

Early this morning when my coworker was telling me how to say naughty things in Spanish!:o

[cinnamongrrl]

My poodle Jacques.....he got a cookie and decided to "bury" it in my shirt.....
I guess Im trustworthy then?

[Kobi]

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/49/4f/18/494f18b3a128956fefc3380a4f7ffdb4.jpg

[Kobi]

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/e1/82/44/e18244609560ea7f9e0f29963cf4a87d.jpg

[cinnamongrrl]

my local restaurant....at which my daughter's childhood bff waitresses....

they have implemented a no swearing policy.....complete with a swear jar.....they got 2 dollars from my stepfather this morning :D

[MsTinkerbelly]

The look on my dogs face when he woke up on the patio this morning!

Omg, priceless!

[Bèsame*]

when taking out the trash veggies to the deer to feed on...tossed it out forward, and the wind picked up just then and blew it back onto me.

Just live with the visual...lol lol (no one saw)

[cinnamongrrl]

fishing off the bridge with my eldest.....when suddenly her lure goes flying as shes casting.....
she gasps in dismay and tells me its her favorite lure.....
long story short.....we end up going down the side of the embankment to fish out a silly floaty frog.....and yet we caught nothing......but it sure was fun :)

[LeftWriteFemme]

hSfQKw7DGzA

[Medusa]

Getting into an online debate with someone over Gays and the religious agenda and them getting pissed off and telling me that they were a Christian and that I needed to "read my fucking Bible".

ROTF!

[LeftWriteFemme]

XsWo8apgLys&feature

[Degotoga]

2hEUbezqd88

[Cole610]

Ok, I looked and couldnt find this thread so if it exists already I apologize.


I just cracked up because Jack accidentally pushed the wrong #s on the tv remote and it asked her if she wanted to pay per view a show called "Filthy Suck Sluts 2".

She yelled at me "BAAAAABBBEEEE, you need to get this porno shit OFF OF MY FUCKING TV"

so she proceeds to flail her arms and push multiple buttons and another show pops up. This time its "Big Horny Wet Asses 7"

She yelled again, "BAAABBBEEEEEEE, there's some WET ASSES and shit on the tv and I WANT IT OFF OF THERE" and by this time, I was laughing so hard that I could barely see the tv anyway.

So she whips her head around at me while I was bent over laughing behind her and she says, "BAAABBBEEEEEE, isnt there a way to block this shit? I dont want the family coming over here at Christmas and being embarrassed by Filthy Fisting Whores or Slutty Gooch Suckers...I mean, THIS SHIT IS NOT IN THE FUCKING HOLIDAY SPIRIT"

ROTFLMAOOOO

Now that cracked me up OMG.

[EnchantedNightDweller]

So last night I told my 11 year old that she could stay up a little later but that mama didn't feel good and needed to go to sleep. "Be good," I said. "I will mama," she said. So I wake up this morning and go into the bathroom to find a toothpaste explosion. Blue toothpaste everywhere! At least I know she brushed her teeth before bed. Lol :rolleyes:

[Talon]

rz5TGN7eUcM

[TruTexan]

Watching my cat jump from the table to the back of the couch at the top and jump over the couch and land on the floor , his face was all like WTF just happened? I laughed and laughed.

[Blade]

Went to the auction this evening. Normally the auction does not crack me up. A lady I've known for years sat behind my roomie and I. There was 2 tables of dog and cat toys, clothes treats etc. Also on the table was 2 duffle bags, I of course am thinking full of animal stuffs. I had the winning bid, my roomie went over looking threw the stuff and came back and sat down.

A while later I went over to the table and opened one of the duffle bags. I saw a thin elastic strap..then some frilly, lacey something. My mind goes dude clothes the bag, and DON'T pull anything out of it. Clearly not dog stuff. I turn to look at my 2 friends and they are cracked up at the puzzled yet surprised look on my face, close to being embarrassed I zip the bag shut and return to my seat.

Then at home, my roomie puts on rubber gloves, and starts taking stuff out of the duffle bags. Tiny sized stuff not very pretty stuff, IMO...roomie says this looks like a honeymoon bag. I didn't say anything but was thinking, my wife will only need an empty bag on our honeymoon.

Anyway what cracked me up was finding, "sexy" stuff mixed in with my dog and cat table deal.

[Bèsame*]

Me. Myself. And I. I crack myself up all the time. I'm sorry and quite grateful not every one can share in my antics. Whew...looking around...giggling

Great advice...when getting into your car after retrieving your mail, hold on to it. One singular piece, and of course, not the most important piece can fall from your grip. It lands on the ground, right under the open car door. You reach for it,holding onto the steering wheel to brace yourself.

I must remind you, the steering wheel will move and you just might find yourself really close to said mail! Heh, it's really not that important after all...lol

[cricket26]

9lNghnX-ys8


this made me laugh!

[TimilDeeps]

rz5TGN7eUcM

Awesomeness from my hometown of Wilkes-Barre, PA. Cool.

[Talon]

UrgpZ0fUixs

[BrutalDaddy]

Was on phone with the wife and telling her about this story I read where some guy was suing Steak n Shake for "causing grave harm and disablement" when he attempted to drink one of their milkshakes.

Which in turn caused her to break out in song.....

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"!



God I Love Her,
Brute.

[LaDivina]

Panda Palace and the mall!

[Jar]

Panda Palace and the mall!

That's some Saturday night!. :cheesy:

[EnchantedNightDweller]

My daughter telling me a quote she saw on Instagram:

Women have to have periods, give birth, & go through menopause. The least a guy could do is text first. :giggle:
Good luck with that girlie.

[Orema]

MrSunshine's old comment about white sage. Made my day.

[Jayce]

My sisters neighbor cracked me up......he was headed down to surf fish and had all his gear" coffee etc and looked like he was going for a month....he lasted less than 30 minutes....

[Orema]

Click here and keep your eyes on the horizon. (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=733102370095949&set=vb.126855987387260&type=2&theater)

Page description: One of the most wonderfully bizarre things we've seen! Cows come running to hear farmer play Lorde’s ‘Royals’ on trombone.

This made my day.

[Trev]

This sentence cracked Me up...

"Can you repeat that without your accent?"

:|

[Gemme]

Men vs. Spanx (http://www.stylelist.com/watch/men-try-spanx/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl38%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D514908)

[WildHorses]

My co worker and I acting like Eddy and Patsy - AB FAB - off and on today while painting the deck at work.

[fever]

Anyone who knows me, knows that my purses are always a bottomless pit. I had searched every pocket and cranny for my debit card. I asked my 10 yr old grandson to check it, and he pulls out the card right away and says, "do you mean this one?" I thought he was going to pee a little.

grandma, sigh(w) lol

[Candelion]

This sentence cracked Me up...

"Can you repeat that without your accent?"

:|


A girl needs to know precisely to what she's agreeing. At least I 'reckon so'. ;)

[EnchantedNightDweller]

So my tween daughter smarted off to grandma again and part of her punishment was she had to listen to MY music in the car. She kept cringing because I was getting excited that they were playing ALL of my favorite songs on the radio. And when the Eagles "Life in the Fast Lane" came on, I sang along to the whole song in its entirety, even poking her in the ribs when it says, "are you with me so far." "Stop it!" she yelled. Lol She just kept looking out the window with a hateful smirk on her face.:giggle:

[Blade]

conversation between my Mom and the Elf

Elf...Mamaw are you listening to the creature tonight

Mamaw....looking at me and LTB strangely because the Elf has talked about my grandparents, who died even before LTB was born. But the Elf says she sees and talks to them.

Mamaw....huh? what creature honey?

Elf...the creature at church, looking at Mom like DUH

LTB....the preacher Mom, she calls him the creature

OMG we all had a belly laugh out of that one, Gosh I could just pinch her

[Zimmeh]

Ruff and I getting lost in Clearwater, FL looking for a CVS Pharmacy. Instead, we found a local gas station where the clerks were thrilled about a K-9 dog biting a car thief. ⛽️✈️☕️ We sat in my car eating ice cream while watching this.

Zimmeh

[Femmadian]

THIS:

NEcZmT0fiNM

I laughed so hard I cried.

Saw this on Buzzfeed with the caption "Being A Good Mother Means Sometimes Buying Your Kid A Vagina Cake When They Lie" so naturally, >>click<<... :lol2:

:piratelaugh:

[EnchantedNightDweller]

The hipster dude at the checkout saying to me, "cool ass name," while running my credit card. I guess I must look like a "cool ass person" for him to speak to me that way. Lol Awww, to be young and not give a damn!

[EnchantedNightDweller]

So this must be my week for wise cracking clerks. So several of my new colleagues have been trying to convey to me where exactly I am using various stories such as the gang bangers jumping the fence last year & pulling out a gun on some 4th graders, etc. Well, I just want to know where I can get something good to eat around here at lunch. "Don't get out of the car," a coworker tells me, "it won't be there when you come out. Just go through the drive thru at McDonald's and then punch it." "I don't want McDonald's," I say,"I'm eating at that soul food restaurant, it's supposed to be good." "Okkkk," he says. Well, I decided to go to a barbecue place instead and as I drove there with my GPS I started to realize what my colleagues had been trying to tell me. I told myself that at least I wouldn't die hungry. They must have seen me coming through the window of Smokey's Barbecue because one of the workers was already cracking up when he saw me. When I told him I wanted it to go, he said, "Are you sure about that?" I was like, "yeah, why?" And he's like, "because we'd really like you to dine here." I looked around nervously. "No, I think I'd like it to go." "Ok," he said laughing. What a dork! Lol I have half a mind to call and tell him his chopped barbecue sandwich sucked!

[cinnamongrrl]

My crazy poodle....

I threw him (gently) into the stream to let him cool off on our hike..

As soon as I sat on the shore, he came over and SHOOK alllll over me...then proceeded to roll his wet self in the dirt...and curl up RIGHTTTT next to me...

Poodle's revenge!

[Kenna]

Just a few minutes ago I took my friend's white lap dog out to piddle...she cracks me up because they recently shaved her to the skin, so she's wearing this bright pink Tshirt that's too long and tickles her tail, making her walk sideways...

While sitting on steps waiting, I hear what sounds like my friend's big, very hairy, black Chow mix barking way off in the distance... I immediately thought OH GAWD, Sammy has run off!! So I rush inside the front door with Half Pint, only to rush thru this huge house to the side door, down the steps yelling "Sam!!...Sammy!!?...You better not be at the neighbors!! (Knowing I'm way far out in the wilderness and there aren't any close neighbors...again I hear that big dog bark I swear sounds like Sam...)
I yell "Sammy, you're momma is gonna kick my butt if you've run off!!"
Standing near the car port in just my pjs...suddenly aware of how remote we are and how the dogs have barked at big wild critters recently... I hear, after yelling his name one more time, this very low, short, deep huffy "Woof" behind me...I spin around to find Sammy, black as night and about the size of a half grown bear, standing between me and the house....just that one low "woof" was like he was asking "What? You crazy woman"...he had been on the car port the entire time, but blends in so well with the night, thank gawd his eyes didn't glow a funny color reflecting the porch light, or I would have piddled my pjs just like Half Pint did her little pink tshirt!!

Sammy gets some cheese treat for staying at home and being my guard dog!!

When I returned inside...I found 2 Chihuahuas and one Half Pint naked dog had stolen my pillow and spot on couch after "fluffing" my bed sheets to fit their needs....

I can't help but laugh at these lovable pups...even the big very hairy bear that nearly made me pee my pjs

[Degotoga]

igSE5_Nce28

[Gaige]

My co-worker. I mentioned to her that I smelled cucumber and asked her if she had used cucumber lotion. She responded, “Well I was messing around with some cucumbers today”. It could have ended there without me giving it another thought but she turned beet red and excitedly started trying to explain that she meant that she had made cucumber salad that day.

[MrSunshine]

Someone just said "you can't pray the moron away". Lmao!

Lawd how I try.

[cinnamongrrl]

my daughter....

she got a tattoo gun...she's an excellent artist and has always wanted to do tattoos...

so...

she gets this gun and she calls me allll excited about it. She tells me how she gave her friend a tattoo and it came out awesome...and of course she gave herself a tattoo...sigh..

but...

she REALLYY wants her sister to let her give her a tattoo to match a heart one she gave herself...and sounds all petulant as she tells me she's just waiting for her to wake up... I was really surprised that she actually waited...lol

[Daktari]

Ms.Nicolondinium forgetting one of the table legs [of meetings, sponsor, step work, service] in two separate meetings cracked me and Ms.Kellondinium up.

It's the small things! :cheesy:

[Degotoga]

ApN73TUVMEU

[TruTexan]

Chester says to Earl "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't many ducks out there, I'm not going hunting". So he sends the dog out to the pond.
The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there".
Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?". Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says "I don't believe it. There really are only two ducks out there! Where did you get that dog?" Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want one, you can get one from him".
So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has.
The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks.
Minutes later the dog returns shaking its head with a stick in its mouth, and starts humping Earl's leg.
Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!"
The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back shaking its head with a stick in its mouth, and started humping his leg.
The breeder says, "Earl, dogs can't talk. He was trying to tell you there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at."

[Blade]

My buddy...where did you get those BBQ sandwiches you ate for lunch

Me...Home

My buddy....and you didn't bring me one

Me...yep, I sure did, but I forgot to fix my minner cheese sandwich for 1st break, so I ate the bbq sandwich I brought for you.

My buddy...cracking up...I hear ya Hoss, so do I get a sandwich tomorrow?

Me...yup if you order one at lunch you do. Cuz I ate the last of mine from home.

[Kenna]

A certain very masculine friend of mine in Joann's Fabric store helping me pick out very colorful "quilting squares" for my shadow box projects....they said they "aren't very creative" but they sure were very opinionated and picky about which colors to buy. We must have spent over an hour deciding on 10 pieces. ....LMAO @ our teamwork and squabbles in the middle of Joann's

[Kenna]

just about to melt in sweltering heat...Friend 1 says "I WANT A SLUSHY!"...
Friend 2 says "Ok...but this time you have to AR-TIC-U-LATE so she doesn't get our order wrong."...
Friend 1 starts cracking up about articulating...when friend 2 suddendly says NOT HERE NOT HERE!!! (As friend 1 almost turned into the wrong parking lot from a 4 lane highway)... Friend 1 fusses OH SHIT, why didn't you tell me before I started to turn? ...Friend 2 "because we were here recently and I thought you knew the way." ...

After surviving the wrong turn and pulling into Sonic to order...Friend 1 pushes the little button, a young girl answers, Friend 1 says (in a slow, very articulated, loud voice) I want a medium sour blue raspberry slushy WITH NO NERDS....and a cotton candy slushy WITH NO NERDS! and an order of fries"...

Friend 2 is craking up ...the girl answers very fast and sounded like a chipmunk on RedBull...
Friend 1 fusses "Who could understand her? and you asked ME to articulate?"
Friend 2 still cracking up says "Who at Sonic thought it was a good idea to put NERDS in a slushy? That's like sucking up all those lemon seeds they left in their strawberry lemonade!"...

Few minutes pass...
A waitress on wheels rolls up and says "two slushies NO NERDS?"
Friend 1 started to hand cash out the door but drops it on floorboard...says something that was NOT articulated very sweetly, then hands waitress more cash...
Waitress very happy with her tip...

On way out of parking lot, Friend 1 makes a really strange noise and grips steering wheel in pain...Friend 2 yells "Are you ok?.....Ohhhhh...You got a brain freeze ALREADY? ...friend 1 knods head....Friend 2 says " that always happens to you and never me....at least you didn't snort NERDS! ...

Friend 1 while holding forehead with one hand and steering wheel with other..."I love that slushy."

[Femmadian]

http://33.media.tumblr.com/b2ab079c64cbb01534395b91ecf2b949/tumblr_n7pdw3aO0G1swr8wlo1_1280.png
:lol2:

[JDeere]

http://33.media.tumblr.com/b2ab079c64cbb01534395b91ecf2b949/tumblr_n7pdw3aO0G1swr8wlo1_1280.png
:lol2:

That would be my hair everyday! Thanks for the laugh!

[Blade]

Listening to the radio on the way home they ask the question. .. what has your spouse done to make you wonder how could you have married someone so stupid? A lady called in and says. .. remember last year when the ice storm hit? I sent my husband to the store and told him to buy some things that we could eat should the power go out. He came home with TV dinners, and several other items from the freezer section. DUH. I ask him how did he think we were going to heat them should the power go out. He said in the microwave silly.

[cinnamongrrl]

my lady today....

she was falling asleep while I was feeding her a snack...and rather than startle her I whispered her name....she woke and whispered back, "what??" and I continued to whisper, "i have a snack for you!" to which she responded "Why are you....incoherent word (but I knew she meant to say WHISPERING) ". So I whispered back, "The cat is sleeping!" She looked at me like I was crazy and then burst out laughing....

It's good to know that even with this horrible disease she has her sense of humor intact.... :)

[Kenna]

Peanut butter fudge ...that was supposed to be maple fudge...

[TruTexan]

Chatters tonight in the chat room cracked me up tonight. So much laughter going on. OMG it was great to be there.

[Kobi]

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c2/9e/58/c29e58aa977fdfa690cb840a0e26584b.jpg

[LeftWriteFemme]

JDAuylgAdKI

[Kobi]

iSu9mgGnkhk

[Blade]

While at Mom's she was telling me about riding threw town and asking Daddy if he wanted to stop for ice cream. At the moment she said ICE CREAM...out of a dead sleep her little dog snapped his head up pointed those ears straight up and looked her dead in the eye.

He is suppose to be about a 6 pound Chihuahua, he is about 12 pounds..I'm beginning to think the ice cream did it.

[theoddz]

Okay, who else, besides me, is a fan of the British Royal Family??? :sunglass:

I give you this:

xujHlWzWW98

eh ehehehehehehehehe!!!! :superfunny:

~Theo~ :bouquet:

[Kobi]

bkeVjkUKwF4#t=37

[Gemme]

bkeVjkUKwF4#t=37

I wonder what you typed in to bring this video up.

:blink:

[RockOn]

people ...

[Fancy]

At Home Depot picking up a couple cheap bricks...
Home Depot dude: have a good day!
Me with bitchy resting face: I will, once I put these through someone's window.
Home Depot dude: :blink:

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

At Home Depot picking up a couple cheap bricks...
Home Depot dude: have a good day!
Me with bitchy resting face: I will, once I put these through someone's window.
Home Depot dude: :blink:

I first read your post saying...."a couple of CHEAP TRICKS"


http://cdn.mos.musicradar.com/images/features/jack-douglas-albums/douglas-cheap-trick-630-80.jpg

:doh:

[MasterfulButch]

Some images of workplace notices. I particularly like this one and the wanton escape of employee creativity:

http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/L3x7wgrx68x.jpg

[Kenna]

My morning chasing chickens...as noted in the exercise thread...

[Femmadian]

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/85/da/d4/85dad4a86260385cedbc085c507c625d.jpg

[TruTexan]

All the bantering on fb back and forth about the Tx Longhorns and OU Red Rivalry Game today...........my family, God love'em all, they cracked me up posting stuff.

[Kenna]

Poor Skippy dog (my roomie hates it when I call him Skippy Dippy Doodle) NEEDED a bath...
...before I even started the water, he was doing the Doggy Paddle in mid air over the tub, as I held him there, cracking up at him, then tested the water and started the hand-held shower...before I placed him in the tub, his paddling got faster....TOOO CUTE

[Blade]

While waiting for the light in town to change. Yes only one light in town. I watched a lady park in the empty bank parking lot get out go to the door pull on it to find it locked. She threw her hands on her hips and noticed the sign on the door. .. I'm sure saying they'd be closed today for Columbus Day. She threw her hands out to her sides and seemed to be saying WTF then leaned into the window to make sure no one was in there.

I'm thinking lady did you notice your car is the ONLY one in the parking lot? Did you think all the bank employees parked down at the Wagon wheel and walked up to the bank for exercise this morning.

I laughted so hard at her expense

[Kenna]

While waiting for the light in town to change. Yes only one light in town. I watched a lady park in the empty bank parking lot get out go to the door pull on it to find it locked. She threw her hands on her hips and noticed the sign on the door. .. I'm sure saying they'd be closed today for Columbus Day. She threw her hands out to her sides and seemed to be saying WTF then leaned into the window to make sure no one was in there.

I'm thinking lady did you notice your car is the ONLY one in the parking lot? Did you think all the bank employees parked down at the Wagon wheel and walked up to the bank for exercise this morning.

I laughted so hard at her expense

Omg!! My goofball roommate still couldn't edit his post right!!
He went from "lashing so hard"...to "laughted so hard"...
When I joked with him about his lashing that poor woman, his dog must have been sitting on his reading glasses!!
We have a lot of laughs in this house about his glasses and goofy posts!

[Kenna]

Poor Skippy dog (my roomie hates it when I call him Skippy Dippy Doodle) NEEDED a bath...
...before I even started the water, he was doing the Doggy Paddle in mid air over the tub, as I held him there, cracking up at him, then tested the water and started the hand-held shower...before I placed him in the tub, his paddling got faster....TOOO CUTE

Poor Skippy Dippy Doodle, the Bluetooth thief, has had a rough day...
Today while giving his brother a bath, I found out why Dippy's soap didn't lather up ...my roomie had placed the peppermint OIL on the tub instead of peppermint SOAP...Poor Dippy is a slippery lil dude today.
Then poor Dippy is "in the dawg house" for chewing on his Daddy's Bluetooth last night. I wish you all could hear Blade tell the story of WHERE he found the pieces!!!

There's no way to stay mad at Dippy..he's just too dang cute!! Especially with his big Yoda ears!!

[Kenna]

I HATE SPIDERS!!!

Especially when one peeks out from under my visor as I'm driving on the highway to my doctor's!!! She may need to give me anxiety meds after that!!
I nearly jumped outa the car...but instead, as the creepy crawly thing walked it's way over to my mirror, I found a place to pull over...afraid it would jump in my lap, I reached for anything to kill it with...TWICE I tried to hit it with the tissue box and still missed!! It jumped to the passenger side floor board and hasn't been seen again....

OMG!! my skin crawled the entire trip!! I am so bug bombing my car when I get home!!

[Daktari]

Chatting on the phone with Q about how we're going to end up sitting faaaaar away from everyone else this evening just to avoid their sniffly bugs.

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

Had the immense pleasure of meeting my business associate's brand new granddaughter. Olivia is so cuddly, smells so good, (the top half anyway)

OK, the part that cracks me up. Her initials are O.M.G. *snorts. Told her mom thank goodness she doesn't have a third initial of Felicity......

http://interestingthings.info/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/omg.jpg

[Blade]

Me...do you have any tools
her...I have 3 hammers
me...smh
me.. you wanted me to fix your mower, you want me to beat it into cranking?

[cinnamongrrl]

My lady...

She has regressed...some days she's a little girl and some days she's a teen...

That said...

She thinks her son-in-law is "cute"... (he looks a lot like Woody Harrelson) and as he was leaving, she said a veryyy flirtatious goodbye...as soon as he was gone she turned to me and said, "he could have BOTH of us!!!" I about peed my pants laughing!

[EnchantedNightDweller]

My kindergarteners doing the "nay nay" for me at recess. :hk14:

[SleepyButch]

My kindergarteners doing the "nay nay" for me at recess. :hk14:

I haven't ever heard of the Nay nay dance. So I had to look it up on You tube. I'm going to have to practice lol.

[Blade]

Holding Skippy up in the air by the handle of his orange life jacket. He begins to do the doggy paddle in the air until, either I hold him or put him down.

Doin the air dog paddle:rubberducky:

[Blade]

A conversation with my buddy at work. Preface to the story my buddy is a preppy redneck, his girlfriend is a Dr. The conversation is after the company gave us all pink breast cancer awareness bracelets and pink safety glasses in a safety meeting. So the conversation goes like this, him talking.

Me and KK went to Belk's over the weekend. We were at the perfume/cosmetic counter. They had this bowl of these wristbands in like 4 or 5 different colors. I got one of each color......at this point I'm shakin my head and rolling my eyes. He says he collects these wristbands.

We got back out to the car and the wristbands pulled the hair on my arm. I said OUCH and pulled them down my arm. KK says what are you doing with those? I said they had a whole bowl of them at the perfume counter. KK says, I know where you got them I ask what are you doing with them, why do you have them. I said, they were free and I collect them. You know they are awareness bracelets.

KK says OMG, those are for customers to put on their wrist so the sales associates know what you are there for perfume, make up, whatever. I said Ummm OH. Well do you want me to take them back? KK says OMG PO no I don't want you to take them back. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it would be to walk back in there and put them back and have to tell those people, my redneck boyfriend, stole them thinking they were free, awareness bracelets.

Yall, OMG I can't tell it like he did but he had me laughing so hard. It helps to know that she is all prim and proper and he's just a hometown boy.

Four years ago when they started dating she told him she was writing a book and that he was the study. She said she was going to call it From Bubba to Bond in 12 easy steps. ROFLMAO!!! I don't think she has gotten him to step 3 or 4 even yet.

[Kenna]

2 crazy, loving pups...

My little fluff ball that looks like an Ewok is curled up next to me...

But it's Skippy Dippy cracking me up now...I had let him out of his crate to go to his Daddy...he runs full spead thru the living room, around the hall and in his Daddy's room...his nails skittering on hardwood floors like he was ice skating...

He spends a few minutes in there...then runs back out to me, his ass end sliding around the corner, he LEAPS up on my chair, gets to my belly, flips over with his feet in the air, snuggles and wiggles a bit, ...then runs back to his Daddy's room....

A few minutes later, here comes Skippy again, skampering and sliding around the corner, LEAPING on my chair, flipping over on my belly with his little chin and feet pointed up..., and is now snoring soundly!!! ....

I think he figured out I have the heating pack on my belly under my blanket...he's VERY content

[EnchantedNightDweller]

So my radio is messed up in my car because I had to get a new battery. I can't access the code because my glove box won't open. So my kid starts whining that she wishes the radio worked. And I say, all spiritual like, "Maybe this is God's way and telling us we need to have some time to talk." And she replies, in her sarcastic tween tone, "Um, maybe it's just because you got a new battery."

Thank goodness I have her to bring me back to reality! Lol :giggle:

[Kenna]

Cocka-doodle-do!!

Ya had to be there!

[cinnamongrrl]

Last night...

I was having a nice talk with my landlord and heard a cow bellowing in the pasture across the way. I asked him why he was hollering and he said "well...let me listen" So he hears him bellow and says "That's a bull. All he's sayin is 'come here' and if he gets a cow interested he'll make ENTIRELY different kinds of noises" He kimda chuckled then and said " Animals and people ain't as different as you'd think".

Im learning sooo much! :)

[Wrang1er]

I was walking out of the women's restroom and the lady walking in sees me and stops to make sure she's going into the right one. It makes me laugh every time.

[Gemme]

Shake It Off Parody (http://features.aol.com/video/kelly-and-michaels-shake-it-parody-will-make-your-day?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl16%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D555805)

[Bèsame*]

A customer comes in this afternoon, perusing the jewelry table. My associate goes over to help her. I'm standing not far away, I can hear the conversation and it goes like this;

Customer, " I'm looking for a pearl ring for my Halloween costume party tonight"
Associate, " oh, what is your costume? "

" I'm going as a lady of the night"

Me, in my head, taking a double take. Your going as a Hooker??

Customer to associate, you know, did you read, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' ?

Me in my head, now thinking...you need leather not a pearl ring! Lol

[Blade]

People watching at the auction always cracks me up

[Blade]

A guy I work with called in late this morning, said he forgot to reset his clock (due to the time change) DUH time change it was FALL back, had he forgotten to change his clock he'd have been an hour early, not late.

[Kenna]

So this afternoon when I got home, I started searching the kitchen for the two acorn squash that I remember buying over the weekend... all day I was looking forward to baking them with butter and brown sugar for dinner ...such a nice warm treat on a cold day ..

They weren't in the fridge...then checked the veggie baskets under the rolling butcher block island...nope...checked beside microwave where the fresh tomatoes are...nope...
Then started to get a little upset....checked for any grocery bags that possibly didn't get emptied....nope....getting stressed now...checked around laundry machines...dammit, nope...

Sent roomie text requesting to check back seat of truck...

30 minutes later, roomie gets home, asked me some silly question about do I think they are in the truck? By this time I'm getting pissy about how disorganized I felt...then my roomie checks the kitchen in same places I had...

A few minutes later, roomie suddenly remembered that we actually DID NOT buy the damn acorn squash!! I argued with him that we bought TWO... He very patiently had to jog my memory, that we tried to buy them, but the Wally World cashier never could find the produce number for acorn squash and she took so long to figure out how to charge for them, that we told her to put them back, we needed to get outa there because we had a busy day.

So today my mind just KNEW I had gotten those damn things...I flustered myself looking all over, overturning things in my big pantry...then argued with my poor roomie!! ...

:|
We had salad with dinner instead of warm baked yummy squash.

My roomie and I had a really good laugh that I had totally forgot.

[Kenna]

We hosted dinner for two neighbors tonight...one 40 something lady and one middle 60's male farmer...

During our after-dinner fellowship, the lady says to the farmer "I want to hook you up with my momma!"... The poor farmer's face turns red, he tips his hat forward...everybody's belly laughing hard, I ask him how many wives or almost wives did he have? He says THREE...
The lady says, I think you and my momma would make a great match!!...the poor farmer, who's normally very laid back and quiet spoken, splurted out " WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CALL ME DADDY AND GET IT OVER WITH!!"

OMG!!! we ROLLED laughing!!!

[SnackTime]

The conversations that take place in chat...

[A. Spectre]

rolled out of bed with a rocket up my &^%*. sun is out, delightful day ahead, could hardly wait to get this party started.

post socks, slipped my shoes on. and oh-my-gosh, it took me a half an hour to realize i had them on the wrong feet. (well, they were MY feet) wrong foot i should state.

wow, still asleep is the only explanation.

such a dweeb am i

:blink:

[Kobi]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/12/a4/a8/12a4a81dca2d599375ab165cc6c46378.jpg


Im feeling dweebish, even tho Im not sure what that means. I always called my cat during the day and left messages for her. I even cslled when I was going to be home later than expected.

:seeingstars:

[Fancy]

I laughed so hard...

aRuk9V1W_dA

[cinnamongrrl]

The affectionate and wondrously adoring looks my kitten reserves.....for the space heater...lol

[cinnamongrrl]

I woke up this morning and looked in the living room...

All my stuff from coming in from work is in a pile in the middle of the living room floor...

It's like I only had enough energy to get THAT FAR...my bag my purse and my keys my shoes...just muddled there lol

[A. Spectre]

there was a decent snowfall here today, so my neighbor dude and i both went awol from our responsibilities to sled in my back yard.

he brought his red flyer and i had a saucer sled. there are trees to navigate around and with a thin layer of ice under the snow, there was a fair amount of velocity.

the numerous times flying down the hill with no mishap came to a screeching halt when a tree decided to stick out a limb and tripped me. yes she did, i flipped and i flopped until i came to a stop. neighbor dude was laughing hysterically while i was rubbing the swelling redness that was my left cheek.

after a few minutes, i joined in and could not stop laughing either. the tree enjoyed all of this as well.

:seeingstars:

[Trev]

Apparently it would be a faux pas to order a chili dog at a demolition derby. Demolition Derbies are strictly a corn dog and Budweiser affair. :|

Additional helpful hint: Don't embarrass yourself by showing up in anything other than a tube top. :|


Trying to explain all of this over the phone was so much fun :phonegab: She's so damn adorable

[Kenna]

Jokes with my roommate after work.
I grew up in a house where we rarely laughed or knew laughter....
Now I'm very happy that my roommate and I frequently enjoy laughing and having stuff to crack up about.

[candy_coated_bitch]

The baby fridge. Don't even ask--you had to be there.

[Kenna]

A hilarious "phonetic slip" ...
My buddy telling me a story about their grampa saying "let me tell you about how many hoes I rowed"....instead of how many rows he had hoed in the garden.

[SleepyButch]

Funny thing happened while eating dinner with my parents and 20 year old nephew.

My nephew looks at my mother and tells her that Eminem is coming out with a new CD. My mom got all excited about it and asked him what it was called and I said wait, you like Eminem and she said yes! She said what's the big deal, you know how much I like Guns N roses. Mind you, my mother is 70.

It was funny.

[CherryWine]

xUANIvNmYzQ

[Daktari]

mHXBL6bzAR4

zsl_auoGuy4

aEjKk5Kt3rs

[Kenna]

When my new Ortho Doc and the Nurse were trying to wrap me into my new back brace...the tension as they tried "trouble shooting" and Doc was showing the Nurse "how to use the straps" amused me so much that I had to break the tension by saying "Dang!! This is like wrapping the Chihuahua up in his diaper!!"

Doc made that OMG She did not just say that look..then cracked up!! Then the Nurse said "What's a Chihuahua diaper?" After I explained it was a velcro wrap that goes around his belly but it usually takes two of us to "strap it", we all cracked up and the look on Doc's face was priceless!!

[Kobi]

This local internet ad:


For sale; the most useless piece of shit tablet I've ever seen. For $100 you can own this Windows 8.1 based tablet that refuses to open it's own apps, doesn't recognize a finger tap from a punch in the face, eats battery juice just because.

Surely someone out there needs a science project.

[bright_arrow]

Being told I'm weird because I said I put shredded cheese on ramen. Does no one else do this??

[Fancy]

This happened a week ago, but I'm still laughing. A piece of a convo with my son who keeps me in check:
Me trying to be funny: I love this rosary. Maybe I should be Catholic.
B: You don't need to be Catholic mom, you're fine the way you are.
Me: Awe! You win extra son points for that response!
B: Well you lost mom points for thinking you could be Catholic.
:blink:

[Kobi]

Another local internet ad....


http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ff/06/61/ff06614ed02aae9567b307df50793639.jpg

[cinnamongrrl]

Kitten little...

I introduced to her to the joys of paper bags...

and...

as I'm trying to type she is commandeering my left pinky finger...lol

[Bard]

Watching our goofy dogs play fight in the livingroom until Gracie :passinggas: and then Phoebe just looked at her like did you have to do that :|

[cinnamongrrl]

Sooo....

I just figured out talk n text on my phone... I feel so grown :)

I was texting with my mom which gets lengthy. She always has a Brazilian questions for me..

Well....

She asked me what all animals were on the farm I live on...and I told her, goats, chickens, some bulls were here and are gone now and then there's the horse.

The talk n text picked it up as the WHORES...

So I hurry up and write back, "horse NOT whores!!!"

And my mom being my mom LOLs and says..."I was gonna say...he keeps whores??"

I cannot complain about the womb I came from... Who else can say whores to their mom and not get soap in their mouths :) :)

[A. Spectre]

snort!

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8171622144/h32794780/

[Kenna]

Early this morning I asked my roomie to go out to the pump house (a dark, creepy shed with spiders and other icky bugs) to turn off the water to the house so I could fix the toilet...

After he returned, I told him we needed to "bleed the lines", so I opened the kitchen faucet and had him open the tub faucet...

Water kept pouring out at full pressure...I get impatient and ask "are you SURE you turned the water off??".... he responded yes....more time goes by, water still at full pressure ....Uggggg...

Me: Are you REALLY sure you turned the right valve off??
Him: Yes! There's a bunch of water in them pipes between the shed and house!
Me: I hate going out to that shed. (Grumble grumble)

I grab the flashlight and we both tromp through the rain to the creepy shed...
I get to the pump and ask which valve is it? (With a black one and red one sticking out from under the pipe insulation)
THAT ONE!!
I reach for it (after cussing at the spiders) and giggle as I find it turned COMPLETELY WIDE OPEN...I giggle again as I told him he turned it the WRONG WAY...and emphasized "Lefty Loosey Righty Tighty, hon...RIGHTY Tighty"
He walks out embarrassed, and I cuss at more spiders as I giggle at my roommate.

A few minutes later after fixing the toilet, I ask him to turn water back on...as I hear him leave the house, he's chanting "Lefty Loosey...LEFTY LOOSEY..."

[Blade]

Yesterday my sister and I were packing up leftovers and cleaning up LTB`s kitchen. TheElf came walking threw holding a candle lighter.
VB says "What chew got"
Elf says "this"
Me...lil gurl, what chew doin, you betta put that down
Elf...it doesnt have fire on it
Me..yo butts gonna have fire on it if you dont put it down
She must have thought she was surrounded by Madea's

The Elf left the kitchen and went into the bedroom where her mom was. LTB came back to the kitchen trying not to crack up. She said, the elf came to her and said "those girls are tickin on me" LTB they were tickin on you? Elf says yes. LTB what girls? Elf says those 2 in the kitchen.

Cracked me up the me and sis were still feeding off each other so well, but it really got me that we were 2 girls instead of Aint and Nana...but it really got my goat that we were tickin on her...oh out of the mouths of babes

[Bèsame*]

when the pumpkin cheesecake smelled like stuffing! Lol lol

[Blaze]

when the pumpkin cheesecake smelled like stuffing! Lol lol



Do you think that they may have mixed them up? lol Hmmm that kind of sounds like something that would happen to me :praying: please say it isn't so...

[cinnamongrrl]

my mother telling me that her pit bull is scared and staying in the kitchen because she's yelling at the TV so much!! (fucking Patriots...)

[Blade]

Me!
When I said my tongues tired of lickin.
Then thought no I did not just say that!

[cinnamongrrl]

my kitten little...

I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep...on my phone reading the forums...when out of NOWHERE she slides, on her back, into the space between my body and the phone I'm holding up...

It was just so ninja kitty...she had the crazy eyes and hasn't stopped playing yet....

No catnip for you!

[CherryWine]

6BNVKEaYOVs

:simplelaugh:

[CherryWine]

5uGg6iHnKMs

I can only hope that I am still having that much fun when I reach his age.

[Kenna]

Dreaming that I saved a baby fox and it's momma..then texting my roommate that we better put a crate in the truck.

[cinnamongrrl]

my younger daughter....

Talking to her last night, she made reference to warning her father not to forget her birthday and said..."he doesn't want me to pull a Molly Ringwald on him!!".

It just tickled me that my daughter used a movie analogy that is from my time...and wayyyy before hers... :)

[Blade]

While checking out at the party store today, the girl checking me out says, I love your hat! I'm a huge Texas fan. I took my hat off and looked at it. I said Tennessee. She said love my Longhorns, I said Volunteers. She looked at me like I was stupid as I left.

[JRM]

My ten year old nephew coming up to me while we working and saying his dad ( my brother) makes him so mad he could punch him in the mouth... I said welcome to my world I'd like to do that 10 times a day .

[Kobi]

wk92O0SEjXc#t=21

[Blade]

Christmas Elf's birthday today, she was cranked up to say the least. She of course got in trouble and got her butt popped. She squealed it's MY bursday you can't do that on my bursday!

[Gemme]

Christmas Elf's birthday today, she was cranked up to say the least. She of course got in trouble and got her butt popped. She squealed it's MY bursday you can't do that on my bursday!

She's never heard of birthday spankings? lol

[Candelion]

http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/burnishedlips/grinch_zps74c10df2.jpg

[CherryWine]

http://gagthat.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/1.jpg

[Kobi]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/f4/60/60/f46060b5797cc64d7f8e90dba5bd16a4.jpg

[Blaze]

Being told to open a package very carefully to which I did. Then being all excited about the puzzle and grinch questionnaire.
Texting a thank you! Then being asked if I looked inside. I said emm hmm.. she said what did you see? I said pretty stickers, puzzle and note.. and sent proof. .
Again did you look inside? I didn't want to open the wrapping because of stickers, so I opened the side. This time I carefully opened the wrapping all the way. And inside the best gift ever! A tracing of her hand, with colored nails and a message. .
Cracked me up that for once I listened carefully and almost missed the best part of my surprise gifts. . Hears to listening, lol

[Zimmeh]

Going to my job tonight after Christmas shopping. When my coworker opened the drive thru window, I said, "I need a tall peppermint mocha" in a deep Southern accent. He laughed so hard and closed the window on me. When he came back, I handed him three Hershey chocolate bars for the people closing.

[Gemme]

BRt4Hz6ncSE

IrPvoSLNMw4

[girl_dee]

Pump up bra inserts at the dollar store

[Kobi]

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fd/e6/0e/fde60eb7fd71c74a25ba6e5fdd2b96a0.jpg

We know, we know. He is adorable. All small and yellow and fluffy. A little bit tubby which makes him seem more softer somehow, like a dog you can trust with your secrets. Don't be fooled. Yes, he is a great listener. But inside that innocuous adorable blonde package exists tons - indeed, whole square miles - of naughty.

It's true: Eddie the Terrible IS terrible. And we have three great reasons you shouldn't even think about adopting him.

1) Like to go for walks in dog infested areas? Enjoy the dog park? Keep walking....

While Eddie The Terrible has never actually attacked another dog, he's made it abundantly clear that he hasn't ruled out the possibility. He goes from zero to Cujo in .05 seconds when he sees another dog on leash. Well, sayeth you, lots of small dogs bark at other dogs on leash. True. But we know people expect a lot from dogs in this day and age and when it comes to leash theatrics, Eddie's at the top of his game. Also true: he's made some progress. But lest his adorable little blond-ness let you think this is going to be a plug-and-play dog, think again.

Granted, if there's no other dogs around he's wonderful to take for a stroll. He loves him some leash walks and yard time. But at the sight of another dog, all bets are off. It's Cujo time.

We're pretty sure somewhere out there exists someone patient enough to work with him on this or someone who frankly doesn't give a bean if he likes to scream his head off for a few seconds at the neighbor's lab. But in the interest of full disclosure, we have to be honest.

2) Want your kids to grow up with a full complement of fingers and toes? Not the dog for you.

Some dogs love kids. We have a bunch of child-lovin' dogs. Eddie the Terrible, however, is not one of them. Honestly he's a little whiffy with some adults, too. Not in an eat-them sort of way but in 'this makes me very nervous' sort of way. Eddie's never actually bitten anyone but we're not saying it could never happen.

In a home environment Eddie is lovely. He's housebroken, loyal, fun and friendly. He lives to play fetch. But socially? He stinks. We're in Silicon Valley - if we started throwing out the socially awkward no one would ever have another piece of new technology again. We know somewhere out this little guy has a match.

3) Looking for a simple dog that will sleep in his crate? Not your guy.

So let's talk about the bed. Or the sofa. Or someplace that you generally like to hang out because that's where Eddie's going to want to bunk. Worried about dog hair on the furniture? Very valid worry if you adopt Eddie. While Eddie is crate trained, he has a weird thing about sleeping in the crate. And by weird thing we mean 'nope, not happening'. A bed in your room? Awesome. In the bed with you? Better. In a crate? Let him sing you the song of his people...

In fact if you're looking for a floor-sleeping, speed bump of a dog that minds his own business, strike Eddie clean off your list. Eddie demands interaction. Not all the time and not in that follow-you-around-and-bark sort of way that makes you want to stick your head in the oven, just in a 'whither though goest, I goest' way. Or however that goeth. You're in the living room? Cool, he wants to watch TV with you. Going outside? Did we mention that he loves fetch? Heck, if he didn't want to eat other dogs he'd be a shoo-in as an agility pooch as he's played on the equipment and is pretty fearless.

Let's face it: unless you're looking for a dog that's a little bit of work, Eddie The Terrible is not the dog for you. We know, we know. He's super loyal, easy in the house and a lot of fun but he's a little rough around the edges. Actually he's kind of a jerk. But he's a jerk we believe in. We're not expecting you to want to meet him but if you must, we really can't deter you.

If you love a challenge, are looking for the dog of a lifetime and think you can handle the thirteen pounds of terror that is Eddie, we won't stop you. You just go ahead and call 1.408.262.2133 ext 150. But don't say we didn't warn you.

http://hssvacc.blogspot.ca/search?updated-max=2014-12-11T15:52:00-08:00&max-results=1

[A. Spectre]

don't you think the sound may be.....well....kinda muffled?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B1NAbDEIEAAjjnR.png

[WildHorses]

Catching another mouse!

[Fancy]

uEMpxyE8Nzk

:-)
Pie are round. Cornbread are square.

[cinnamongrrl]

Kitten little....

She was running SO fast that her back feet came up off the ground and she was running on just her front legs for a few seconds...lol

and

A really BIGman in a super sized truck....with two tiny dogs in his front seat... I love irony

[girl_dee]

http://www.homedepot.com/catalog/productImages/400/39/399fd414-32a4-4dd2-8ad6-3917800526d1_400.jpg

[MasterfulButch]

http://www.memeforge.net/memes/img/mf-130227-2705983186812539392.jpg

[CherryWine]

http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/14/46/e2bb87fe6f901dd3c76556f52ba54892-unwrapped-santa-claus-chocolate-looks-like-a-penis.jpg

[nekohl]

Watching Youtube clips of the White Christmas dance numbers, and then reenacting them with my coworkers. We cracked ourselves up.
Every time I walked past the receptionist I did the little hair flip thing Vera Ellen does in the number when shes wearing the yellow dress. Lots of giggling today

The best things happen when you're dancing..... ahem

[A. Spectre]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/books-and-media/article4444939.ece/BINARY/w620/america-map27fo1.JPG

[Blade]

Dad...did Mom tell you what happened to me Friday
Me... nope what happened
Dad..Moma has been putting this stuff (Litocaine) on my throat before I eat so I can swallow without pain.
Me... uh huh
Dad..she was gone but told me to go ahead and eat. I was going to Crossroads to eat. So I turned up that medicine bottle and drank a few big swigs.
Me...Daddy are you crazy? Didn't you read the bottle?
Dad...well I ate about half my meal and started to feel sick. I got up and started stumbling around and the girls came running to help me. I told them I felt dizzy. Ask them to get my phone out of the van.
Me..starting to laugh, I'd hate to tell Mom Iz to stupid to read the bottle
Dad.. shhhh Im not done, I started gagging and they ran and got me a trash can. I threw up what I had eaten and even lost my teeth
Me...laughing hysterically OMG
Dad...I went out to the van and waited on ya Moma to come get me.
Me..still laughing...did you not know that is to numb your throat and you spray or drizzle it down ya throat not drink it.
Dad...well Im scared of it now. I havent had it anymore. I thought that shit was gonna kill me.

[Kenna]

Chihuahuas and crazy chickens!
The chickens think they are ducks....and the chihuahua thinks he owns the recliner.

[Blade]

Actually it was Saturday night. I have my alert tone set to a laser sound. Its loud enough to wake me.

My sister was texting me from work and said she would get back to me after work. I fell asleep about 12:15, woke up at 2am thinking she must have forgotten me. I grabbed my glasses and picked up my phone, there was 44 text messages. This means my laser that would wake the dead went off 44 times and I was so hard asleep I didnt hear it. I read them all and text her back. She text me right back and said where the hell you been? LOL duh what could I say? I said I guess I fell asleep. She said what the hell are you doing awake now? Chuckling....I said well after my phone blew up 44 times I figured Id better check it out. She said you a damn liar that was hours ago.

[Fancy]

We wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So we met with our lawyer yesterday, and on her advice we wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that any country is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Best Regards ( without prejudice )
Name withheld ( Privacy Act ).

[Kenna]

Skippy the famous chihuahua has been glued to his daddy since 6am this morning when he started preparing treats and other goodies for tomorrow...everywhere Skip's daddy went, Skip was on his heals. They have had a very busy morning. ...When Blade was done in the kitchen, he went to his bedroom to wrap gifts...Skip was right behind him, his little nails skittering on the hardwood floors....
Well...I guess he got bored watching his daddy make a mess of wrapping paper and boxes, because he just came running out to me, jumped on my lap, got very comfy using my leg as a pillow, and very quickly was snoring contently.
He's a warm little bug!!
I guess he's been going full steam all morning and needed a nap.

[A. Spectre]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-72nZn3hFGmg/UUrlc6m-1hI/AAAAAAAAAis/r4ttBWwaDWs/s1600/funny8.jpg

[TruTexan]

This morning, my neighbor was checking his fluids in his car and adding antifreeze to his engine. My cat loves this guy, so he see's him out in front of the car, saunters on over and stretches up on the grill with his paws to see what he's doing. I laughed and said Buddy (my cat's name) what are you doing over there? MY cat jumps up on the engine, starts walking around looking down and the neighbor guy turns to me and says..........he's gonna check my oil for me........
Made me laugh, cause my cat loooked like he was doing something up on that motor. LOL

[Blade]

Dad to Mom...Did you throw that wisk broom out of my van and into the yard

Mom..no, I didn't clean out the van you did

Dad..well I didn't do it

Mom..well I guess someone just came up in the yard and said hey lets clean out this van. Then decided naaa lets just take this broom out of it and throw it in the yard.

Chuckles..they have hourly spats like this, sometimes it is really a tale of who has the most wit. Visiting sometimes it is like refereeing at the rest home.

[Blade]

After taking Mom on an all day excursion and missing the game I wanted to watch I finally made it home about 8. Got almost all of my treasures in the house and my phone rang.

In a gruff loud almost drunken voice, I her FL say where the hell are you at
me...standing in my kitchen, I just got home
FL...why the hell aint you at my house
me...I didnt kniw I was suppose to be
FL....my wife said she text you
me...she said we are having our gettogether this Sat. I thought she was talking about YOUR FAMILY
FL...you are my family and you've got about 30 minutes to get here, maybe 45 and Im coming after ya. Dont make me come after ya

omg did he get ripped, I did not, but had a good time
he was quite the entertainment last night

[LeftWriteFemme]

http://images.liveluvcreate.com/create/d/dear_algebra_please_stop_asking_to_find_your_x-417691.jpg?i

[A. Spectre]

really? what a maroon who did this. *wink* or....a devilish sense of humor.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/11/00/a8/1100a8bc7489b094730af3dc8b0ba3c6.jpg

[Fancy]

I laughed because it's true!

http://i.imgur.com/vSMbJjk.png

[Degotoga]

noBhMDHsdtM

[Gemme]

noBhMDHsdtM

Guess he didn't tie them on as good as he thought.

:blink:

[Daniela]

Guess he didn't tie them on as good as he thought.

:blink:

In his defense, he wanted to get to Meemaw's before the beer got too hot.

[Orema]

In his defense, he wanted to get to Meemaw's before the beer got too hot.

I almost wet myself when he started saying, "I know my rights! I know ..." Too funny.

[Gemme]

In his defense, he wanted to get to Meemaw's before the beer got too hot.

:rofl:

I almost wet myself when he started saying, "I know my rights! I know ..." Too funny.

And when he tried to crawl back up on the tractor.

Made my morning!

[Degotoga]

mG6WF-BhnCg

[Daniela]

I love that he kept raising the lift to taunt the officer. LOL

[Gemme]

mG6WF-BhnCg

It's been a rough week for the Steves of the world.

One of my favorite Steves of all time.

cpaEqv1MSQk

[Daniela]

It's not a new video, but it makes me LOL every time.

B8ISzf2pryI

[Gemme]

It's not a new video, but it makes me LOL every time.

B8ISzf2pryI

If you liked that one, try Denver's best/worst antics.

5QzmpZ6bccc

[Blade]

After getting my nest made to watch the Cowboys, I threw the foot of the recliner up, Skip crawled up on my lap, I covered us up and then said DAMN Skip where's Daddy's glasses. I was ticked off I had everthing like I wanted it and didn't have my glasses.

No problem I can make the words on the screen bigger. I turned on my tablet, chuckles...get ready for this, raised the tablet up to read and saw my glasses sitting on top of my head in my reflection in the tablet. SMH and LMAO

[MrSunshine]

She called to check my pulse, she always says that.

Mom: Did you have lab today?

Me: no Mom that's tomorrow.

Mom: I got my oil changed today, I know, I'm such a baller.


Lmao she's 81

[Daniela]

This:
http://cdn0.dailydot.com/uploaded/images/original/2015/1/13/dogbutt.jpg

The new must-have accessory for your pet's butthole.

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/rear-gear-dog-butt-covers/

[bright_arrow]

Late night nose taps accompanied by "Boop!"
Had me laughing so hard my cheeks hurt and I couldn't breathe

[Bard]

Taking the Dogs out just a few min ago and the Whippet launches her self off of the deck and clears the back of the Sheppard:blink: you should have seem the look on the Sheppard's face she was like what the hell just happened I swear I almost cried I was laughing so hard

[SnackTime]

The play-by-play text messages

[Shystonefem]

The play-by-play text messages

Lmao... just returning the favor.... (Even though I know you didn't need it) LMAO

[SnackTime]

Lmao... just returning the favor.... (Even though I know you didn't need it) LMAO

:rofl:

...................

[Gemme]

Llama-alpaca hybrid attacks volunteer (http://www.aol.com/article/2015/01/13/angry-llama-alpaca-hybrid-attacks-volunteer/21129263/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl13%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D598264)

That. Poor. Guy.

[Bèsame*]

Lard!

Everything that we don't like has lard in it! Lol

[Degotoga]

8XFBUM8dMqw

[EnchantedNightDweller]

Kindergarten boy just grabs the prettiest girl in class & kisses her right on the lips. Even funnier was me trying to keep a straight face and be the adult! I just said, "Look, I know she's pretty but you can't do that at school!" Lol

[C0LLETTE]

me, but I've sworn myself to secrecy not to talk about it to anyone but myself.

[Bèsame*]

http://i.imgur.com/hPU4c6y.jpg

[EnchantedNightDweller]

My daughter blowing bubbles and our dog trying to jump up and bite them. Lol

[Blaze]

So I was lawn mowing.. and 3 squirrels we're trying to retrieve their nuts they buried.
So they run on every pass I made. And got to barking at me because I'm out on their yard! One even stood there barking at the mower.

[Daktari]

OZCIKjYDf1g

MXzaVOk_Ydk

[SnackTime]

Asking a question and it being playfully avoided...

In the end, it all got turned around and I ended up answering the question before the person that was originally asked...LOL

really need to stop giving into the pout

[EnchantedNightDweller]

My cousin's girlfriend sending me a request on Facebook to like her sex shop business in Europe. Lol Um, no, I don't think so. Can't wait to tell my mom! :giggle: (Not that I'm opposed to them, just not gonna advertise it!)

[FemmeBibliophile]

https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/92/233417206_f7cd1de65e.jpg

You'd have to know to understand... But still. Heheh!

[Daniela]

This ad for Domino's Sriracha pizza in Israel...the tongue has a ballgag.

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--cahvA-s5--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/ha51bj7yo0hnmrtjhogc.jpg

http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/dominos-unleashes-the-most-terrifying-print-ad-in-histo-1682172143/+burtreynoldsismyspiritguide1

[Talon]

My cousin's girlfriend sending me a request on Facebook to like her sex shop business in Europe. Lol Um, no, I don't think so. Can't wait to tell my mom! :giggle: (Not that I'm opposed to them, just not gonna advertise it!)

Really?....you're soooooo above it.

[Blade]

A picture sent from Disney

I don't know who was more excited to be there

The Christmas Elf or her Mom, I haven't seen JH in any of the pictures, He must be the photographer.

Picture of The Elf and Mickey Mouse and LTB at some kind of breakfast with Mickey thing. They were both smiling so big. I think if The Elf smiled any bigger her teeth would fall out.

Can't wait until they go to the "Prince Castle" and until she see's all of the "Frozen" characters. OMG she will be rotten.

[FemmeBibliophile]

This morning... Upon realizing that GB was absolutely right... I laughed my ass off.

[Kobi]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a6/c8/6e/a6c86e106182641e394a9df00538d5e2.jpg

[MrSunshine]

My sister married this douche years ago and it took forever to get a divorce, he just wouldn't sign.

Yesterday we were talking and the subject came up about him.

Me: why did you marry him anyway?

Her: well, you know, he was like a moped, really fun to ride but you wouldn't want anyone to see you on it.


Lmao!

[cinnamongrrl]

My lil mama....shes always telling me my weather forecast. Her phone has an app. Its just so damn cute that my mom uses apps.... :)

[CherryWine]

ey2L_ExKWuI

:giggle:

[Bard]

I am laying in bed and Juliet the kitty girl is done asleep on the bottom corner... Well all of a sudden she rolls and falls off the bed I sat up quick to be sure she was ok already starting to giggle and she looks at me as if to say I ment to do that... Then stomped off ... I lost it lol

[Miss Scarlett]

The guy demonstrating non-stick cookware on QVC right now just burned the living daylights out of the chicken he was cooking!

[afrcnqueen]

We were talking about the crazy things customers say and do in the retail grocery business.
One of the managers was reminiscing about the middle aged lady who came in one day complaining.

Customer loudly: This is tuna is terrible!

Manager not really looking responds: What's wrong with it?

Customer even louder: Why do you sell such terrible tuna? This is the worst tuna I've ever had!! You should stop carrying it.

Manager finally looks up at the customer and looks at the can, takes it from her hand and says:

Ma'am this is the worst tuna you've ever had because this is tuna for Cats. It says so right on the label.

Customer flustered...says well I want a refund and walks off to continue her shopping.

[Bèsame*]

I ordered wings for dinner, and when I saw the receipt, with my phone number and name in ex-large font, my jaw dropped and my eyes got so wide. How did this happen??? I have just a slight idea, lol. It was my first name alright, but it was his last name. What a sight...I busted out laughing.

[cinnamongrrl]

Gemme's youtube video of worst Family Feud answers...

Holystupidity Batman....

I will never eat hamster eggs either!

[Daniela]

Gemme's youtube video of worst Family Feud answers...

Holystupidity Batman....

I will never eat hamster eggs either!

:lol2: that was hilarious...

[Gemme]

You like that?

Try this one!

dWXK2de97Xo

[Blade]

Mom...I felt noiseyated this morning, but I'm better now.

"noiseyated" What the hell is noiseyated? That's the way she says it. Chuckles, as a southern woman how does she get nois sound out of naus?

I must have repeated that word 30 times on the way home and after I got home. Thinking of every way to use it with every sentence. It just struck me funny.

[*Anya*]

The GF and I were watching House of Cards (again) tonight,

Probably for the 10th time, I commented on Robin Wright's fantastic legs peeking out of her pencil skirts.

My GF, who never says stuff like this replied:

"Ok, I think we have already established that we'd both like to fuck Robin Wright".

Uh, yes.

[Bard]

Last night at work watching a couple students sledding on what looked like trays from the dining hall down a hill on south campus .. then one took a header off the makeshift sled right into a snow bank oh the little things :sunglass:

[bright_arrow]

Whilst assembling a lego set...

"I had a man between my legs, where'd he go?!"

Cue snicker, giggle, pause, giggle giggle, pause, giggle.. :jester:

[Logicaly]

Whilst assembling a lego set...

"I had a man between my legs, where'd he go?!"

Cue snicker, giggle, pause, giggle giggle, pause, giggle.. :jester:

Moooooo!

I can't help it if the little Lego guy went cliff diving off my table onto my legs!

[Daktari]

A guy on the checkout at the discount supermarket.

I'd bought a large jar of Colman's English Mustard, w/collectors label, and decided to get the other items I wanted at the other supermarket across the road.
Going through the checkout the dude asked in the most deadpan manner
"...and is this the extent of your weekly shop this week Sir?"

Not exactly funny but cracked me up :jester:

[Blade]

Oh it was Mom again
Mom I sent your Dad to Hardee's and told him to get us 2 #8's and a small drink.

When he came back and handed her the bag, she said this isn't a Hardee's bag. He said, It ain't? She said no it isn't, it says Taco Bell.

[Bard]

Hiking along the trail at the Falls today and there were parts that were a sheet of ice .. I did really good for the most part till my feet just went out from under me and bam I went sprawling cracked my self up and was very glad NO ONE saw it :blush:

[Columbia_g]

My friends when I see them. So ones that are popping out to me are how one of them said at the sight of fighter jets due to Drill Weekend:

"They should land and **** me!"

my response?

"I was thinking the same thing."

*insert horrible attempt at a high five*

& this gem:

"Wow, that is a deep filing cabinet!"
"That's what she said!"

Yes We joke around like teenage boys. It is entertaining :)

[bright_arrow]

Saw Carlos Mencia last night.. him plus his two opening acts has me laughing so, so hard.

[durrrrrrrr]

and this is how you poke somebody :koolaid:

[DapperButch]

and this is how you poke somebody :koolaid:

Am I the only one who has no idea what you are talking about?

[Kenna]

My new, sweet, rescued, short-legged pup....how he is my shadow and velcro dog...and his comical nature...and THOSE FUNNY EARS!!

then my darling luv bug, adorable smooch pooch WooBear...how he drives me batty that he loves to drag his belly thru the dirt and "waller" in the leaves and mud. a big mud puppy!

3 of the 4 dogs got their first spring bath tonight....little Skippy cracks me up when he does the doggy paddle in mid air before he gets to the tub.

[femmeandstrong]

...oh only that I was heating the kettle.... and turned on the empty burner and melted a plastic dish ...


lmao

[MysticOceansFL]

A few things.................

[cinnamongrrl]

Twas the other day...and I had to laugh on the inside..

My brother took in a stray cat. He told me he felt bad because the cat's eye was watering...and he was worried it would freeze in the cold...

I guffawed on the INSIDE...my poor brother. I did hit him pretty hard in the head with a snowball...a time or two...