"Butch" and "Femme" - Truly Antiquated Terms or More Marginalization?

[WILDCAT]

Just found and read this thread today. (And yes, I am a VERY slow reader - AND A.D.D., thus like to take my time to "digest".)

Seems to me, that "at least" four different "thought topics" spurned off of this intial thought topic here.

So, I'm thinking this is a factor in the discussion at hand - as well as the "bits and pieces" of confussion seemingly here and there (?)

What do I say? I can't even begin to explain to you all how I feel about the so many different responses here. HOWEVER, I will say... this stayed much more civil than I "THOUGHT" it would.

And "thank you" for that.

I'll just respond to MY thoughts on the topic, and/or whatever came up that I felt was pertinent.

I feel people's pain.

I understand the need for "change".

I respect everything and everybody - provided that they respect equally back in exchange. (WELL, that would be "more MY HOPE"... I guess anyway.)
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First of all:

*No one can disappear unless they "choose" to, simply... leave. (Or, the big meteor hits, of course.)

*History will always be "what it already IS"...

*Why: don't we separate what is tough for us in the real world - from what we're doing to each other here?

*How about "expectations vs. assumptions", and then JUDGEMENT here in our community? Perhaps we could take a better look at that (?)

*I love music, "be-bop" came back. (And jazz, and blues, etc... and some NEVER EVEN EVER LEFT.)

I will say that I totally respect ALL persons where they say they are, identities and such...

I will also say, I don't understand "how we canNOT"?

I don't understand how anyone could "assume" anyone's ID is BETTER than another - what THEY are saying... "is BEST FOR THEM"! Period.

I don't understand how folks DON'T understand, to respect that which is before you - to ignoring that part of history...(?)

I wonder how/why I continue to be fried for my part of the 70's movement when I was a masculine woman (or feminine, it WOULD NOT MATTER!), and/WHO did not "care" about the b/f dynamic in any negative manner, as I recognized and UNDERSTOOD it was a necessary part of the "history/HERSTORY" part of/for ALL of us. I don't GET how folks are still taking this "personal". I don't GET how folks are judging ME (some general US folks, through that time period), STILL from that also necessary period of time. And I don't get how the other's through this same movement would "today" cling onto the B/F dynamic in ANY negative way, after all of this processing! (EXCEPT for the perpetuated sexist and misogynist crap... which IS REAL, the STILL ABUSIVE SHIT AGAINST ALL FEMALES - NOT ALL JUST ROLE-PLAYED or the beloved in the "BF dynamics".)

I don't GET how people don't understand how we can move and grow through changes and accept, accept, accept - as we have surely done...

And why do we have to "keep proving" that WE deserve a "spot" here, in our OWN dynamics? Welcoming as we are? (Not "foolproof, no, but it goes BOTH ways"...)
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I was a young kid, running through the fields of Mich. Fest, with no shirt feeling THAT freedom (for the first time... well, except from childhood when my mother LET me!), listening to music that was basically "folk music" at that time, but FINALLY to MY EARS: "women loving women" music!

I went on to become politcally involved during the late 70's, and although recognizing that "there were STIGMAS"... only held truth for that which was the priority for gaining what we needed to gain. I dismissed NO ONE. I thought "lip stick lesbians" were brave actually. (And butches, no matter the thought then!) And now look today where things are. We must go through these processes. I'm TIRED though, of folks relaying this as a "stuck in time" period to crucify FOREVER. I'm tired of being linked to a mentality that just does not hold true for us all as a set in motion "forever stuck thing"! And EVEN if it DOES for certain "political feminists", let the fuck go of that too and respect that! (And PLEASE, "get over it".) Thank you. If you've taken over a government building and still want to complain a bit, then go for it! Otherwise, maybe read and learn... and be just a bit more "thankful", perhaps. (If you haven't done such events.)

I'm also tired of folks spitting out "lesbian" as if it were the most horrible bad thing... the worst that you could be called. I'm tired of folks "ASSUMING" ALL folks on a site like this are "lesbians". The rage and anger it spurns is so painful FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME, however... I can thus imagine how painful it also must be for those who are from all walks of ID's that do not care for this "generalization". I would be pissed too! Hell, I AM!! But, when this happens, and it gets SPIT OUT, yes, I am hurt. I wish folks would think of it that way too. Could we all be a bit more "considerate" here in this regards?

The butch/femme dynamic is so specific, but vague as well. It is our history, yes. Who should be bothered with anything as part of our history? Who should be offended and/or afraid of anything having to do with the future and different ID's and names, etc...? I just don't get that - either. (UNLESS we are negatively "put to rest"... or the future choices are being "nailed as wrong"! I just don't/can't see that...) I DO get that I need to be respected. I DO UNDERSTAND that the current generation MUST BE RESPECTED. I want and NEED to trust them! No one should feel pressured to adhere to a certain "protocol", from the past. No one is STUCK from "politcal movements", (PLEASE again, fucking let that go??? Except for the ones that DON'T want that "let go" WHO WERE INVOLVED, and that is "THEIR RIGHT TO", but being categorized and generalized from this time period today is pure BULLSHIT)! And no one should JUDGE a DAMN THING. Ever. Never. Find how it fits into "your scheme" of politics and/or lifetstyle/history/HERSTORY, fine. But, no one should be judging. We grow, we learn, we experience, we GROW... we learn.

Just my intial thoughts on this. Thanks for reading.

WILDCAT.