Horrible Holiday Dishes!!!! - Page 4

Gemme · 11-18-2011, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theoddz

For years, my dear Pop thought that giving his friends these little hard bricks of dry, chewy, sticky, cubed, candied, plastic-tasting so-called "fruitcake" was a really good idea. They're made in Claxton, Georgia, and have been around for something like 100 years. How this has happened, I have no idea. Apparently, there are some people who actually *like* these things. They'd make great door stoppers.

Me?? I'd only give them to someone whom I really, really didn't like.

I think this stuff would survive years and years of re-gifting. The shelf life of them has to be at least 25 years. They probably stock them in fallout shelters.

~Theo~

I love fruitcake.

theoddz · 11-19-2011, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

I love fruitcake.

I can understand liking some fruitcakes. There are some I really like, but....The Claxton breed??? Oh no.

You'd be pulling it out of and from between your teeth 'til perdition.

Oh, and I saw this the other day, out here at MY COMMISSARY!!!!

<insert theme to "Jaws" here>

It looks suspiciously like The Claxton Fruitcake...."born again" into a Hostess wrapper. I think it is trying to deceive us and ride on the coat tails of The Twinkie.

Pop said that he likes this stuff with his coffee. I think he's using the coffee to soak it out of his teeth.

~Theo~

11-19-2011, 10:05 AM

I can't abide holiday food. Turkey, unless it's a top dollar free range rare breed bird, is so bland. Last year we had a rather voluptuous paella.

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incubus

I can't abide holiday food. Turkey, unless it's a top dollar free range rare breed bird, is so bland. Last year we had a rather voluptuous paella.

paella is not paella unless it is voluptuous.

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debby

Worst Thanksgiving dinner, my ex's mom does not like to cook, but would insist on 'cooking' Holiday dinners.

The menu:
Appetizers of celery filled with spray cheese and deviled eggs with miracle whip.
Turkey cooked on high heat, so she doesn't have to get up early. It comes out of the oven like jerky.
Ham in a crockpot covered in a jar of those bar cherries.
Instant mashed potatoes.
Gravy from a jar.
Canned veggies, bad enough, but she would then nuke them beyond recognition.
Dessert of thawed frozen chocolate pie.

you just described my mother

11-19-2011, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by persiphone

paella is not paella unless it is voluptuous.

You are correct. It should 'relax' into the bowl like risotto and be resplendent with serious quantities of seafood.

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dixielady

I must admit, my grandmother is notorious for the jello "whathehellisthat" dishes. There's usually a variety of it not only on the holidays but for every Sunday dinner as well. (Which is probably another reason I quit going to Sunday dinner.) Especially cauliflower. She has a thing for cauliflower.

hahahahahahaaaaa @ "whathehellisthat" dishes

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss July

Ok I gotta say................what's up that NASTY green been casserole sheeeit???
(I will admit I have never ventured to even try it)

right?! nothing says tasty like green beans with a can of glop dumped on them topped with fried....onions from a can? why? who does this? just pee on the turkey while you're at it :P

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv2luvgirls

well one yr my sister called herself trying to impress some dude, so she made some baked Ziti.. she thinks its her best dish *rolls eyes*... well she had us comeover as a dinner party on christmas eve and as we began to eat, I noticed it was real crunchy!! wtf its not supposed to be crunchy?.. I know something is wrong because when she cooks if you dont find her hair or somfin its a good dish lol.. I pull out glass from my mouth its bleeding and all.. and my sister is giving me the stank eye.. like "dont say shit Ri!" kinda thing.. but I was scared to keep eating.. I did SMH.
when it was over I was like WTF April and she said I dropped the dish on the floor when I took it out of the oven.. so not only was I eating glass.. it was dirty glass off the floor and so was the ziti.. its not right I tell ya..

LMAOOOOOOOOO

Inked_Trinity · 11-19-2011, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by persiphone

right?! nothing says tasty like green beans with a can of glop dumped on them topped with fried....onions from a can? why? who does this? just pee on the turkey while you're at it :P

SOOOOOOO NOT coming to your house for turkey dinner!

11-19-2011, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by persiphone

... just pee on the turkey while you're at it :P

Tenderises that battery farmed flesh dunnit!

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:40 AM

one year i took my son camping in Zion for the week of thanksgiving.....hauled up the smoker, smoked the turkey...it was divine..kept the left overs. when i got home i threw some leftover turkey into soup not thinking. smoked turkey soup is dis.gusting.

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inked_Trinity

SOOOOOOO NOT coming to your house for turkey dinner!

sorry...no canned "foods" at my table lol

11-19-2011, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by persiphone

one year i took my son camping in Zion for the week of thanksgiving.....hauled up the smoker, smoked the turkey...it was divine..kept the left overs. when i got home i threw some leftover turkey into soup not thinking. smoked turkey soup is dis.gusting.

Smoking the bird might just tempt me to eat it for the first time in donkey's years.

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incubus

Smoking the bird might just tempt me to eat it for the first time in donkey's years.

i smoked it with applewood smoked wood and it was an organic bird raised on a family owned farm. yes, i'm a turkey snob and i rarely eat turkey as well. battery birds don't appeal to me no matter how well it's prepared.

11-19-2011, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by persiphone

i smoked it with applewood smoked wood and it was an organic bird raised on a family owned farm. yes, i'm a turkey snob and i rarely eat turkey as well. battery birds don't appeal to me no matter how well it's prepared.

I really should make myself a smoker...I lurve smoked foods.

I don't understand how anyone can eat battery raised fowl. When it comes to meat (fish, fowl or fauna), you get what you pay for.

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incubus

I really should make myself a smoker...I lurve smoked foods.

I don't understand how anyone can eat battery raised fowl. When it comes to meat (fish, fowl or fauna), you get what you pay for.

yes but smoked fish is BLICK

11-19-2011, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by persiphone

yes but smoked fish is BLICK

Smoked mackerel is yummy. As are Arbroath smokies. Not forgetting smoked salmon and caviar with scrambled eggs. Smoked cod loin is also rather good. Smoked haddock (undyed) poached in milk and butter and then parsley sauce made from the milk is delish.

You dunno what yer missing persi

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incubus

Smoked mackerel is yummy. As are Arbroath smokies. Not forgetting smoked salmon and caviar with scrambled eggs. Smoked cod loin is also rather good. Smoked haddock (undyed) poached in milk and butter and then parsley sauce made from the milk is delish.

You dunno what yer missing persi

alright i'll try it but i'm not making any promises

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 11:14 AM

worst holiday cake ever invented. yes, those are corn nuts. corn nuts! on a cake! gah!

11-19-2011, 10:05 AM	#63
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	I can't abide holiday food. Turkey, unless it's a top dollar free range rare breed bird, is so bland. Last year we had a rather voluptuous paella.

11-19-2011, 10:40 AM	#72
persiphone Timed Out How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: on a hedonistic hiatus Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Permanently Banned 12/28/2011 Posts: 462 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,574 Thanked 1,562 Times in 380 Posts Rep Power: 0	one year i took my son camping in Zion for the week of thanksgiving.....hauled up the smoker, smoked the turkey...it was divine..kept the left overs. when i got home i threw some leftover turkey into soup not thinking. smoked turkey soup is dis.gusting.

11-19-2011, 11:14 AM	#80
persiphone Timed Out How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: on a hedonistic hiatus Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Permanently Banned 12/28/2011 Posts: 462 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,574 Thanked 1,562 Times in 380 Posts Rep Power: 0	worst holiday cake ever invented. yes, those are corn nuts. corn nuts! on a cake! gah!