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Old 07-12-2010, 11:20 AM   #1
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Not a question but more of a rant.

I found out what's holding up the Birth Cert. Apparently when my dad re-adopted me, Wife #2 (he's on Wife #3 I believe) was added as my "mother". I didn't remember doing this but it's possible that at the time it made sense. (I think I did it because it'd make my dad happy). The problem is I know nothing about her. They said if I could find out her maiden name, that's all they'd need. If I can't get it, she's going to ask if the info I provided is enough (she said there are unique situations like this). I have asked her if there is a way I could get Wife #2 removed as my mother and get my mom put back in. I did email my dad, his sister and his brother in hopes that one of them can reply with the info. But we'll see.

This explains the brick wall I've been hitting.
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Old 07-12-2010, 12:47 PM   #2
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Not a question but more of a rant.

I found out what's holding up the Birth Cert. Apparently when my dad re-adopted me, Wife #2 (he's on Wife #3 I believe) was added as my "mother". I didn't remember doing this but it's possible that at the time it made sense. (I think I did it because it'd make my dad happy). The problem is I know nothing about her. They said if I could find out her maiden name, that's all they'd need. If I can't get it, she's going to ask if the info I provided is enough (she said there are unique situations like this). I have asked her if there is a way I could get Wife #2 removed as my mother and get my mom put back in. I did email my dad, his sister and his brother in hopes that one of them can reply with the info. But we'll see.

This explains the brick wall I've been hitting.
Have you thought of looking it up at the registrar's office? Their marriage certificate has to be on file.
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Old 07-12-2010, 12:51 PM   #3
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The got married out of Province and they are now divorced. It'll take another 4-8 weeks (it's already getting annoying that I've had to wait this long -- nearly a year now). Additionally, its annoying that she's even on the BC.
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Old 07-12-2010, 05:01 PM   #4
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Welp. Even though my dad won't speak to me, my aunt (my dad's sister) still does. And she looked up my grandfather's ancestry project, finding my step-mom's maiden name (spelling may not be totally accurate but.. ). It's a start!
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:36 PM   #5
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Hey Everybody!
I haven't been on in a while but I had a some what funny experience. When I started T a year ago I was working on my college campus. I didn't work over the winter, so this summer is the first time since beginning T that I had to look for a job. I got a part time job for the summer with the help of an ex-girlfriend. I haven't had a name change yet (I've just been strapped for cash) and all my documents say female. So right off the bat I told my managers what my deal was, all were okay if not a little curious, however policy for this particular establishment says I have to wear a name tag wit my birth name. Not a big deal, I work in the back and besides I'm not ashamed. So the other day I stop in to fill out a request off form and an employee I never met walks up and introduces herself. I tell her my birth name (figuering that's how people in here know me). Today she happened to be working the same shift as me and she explained that she was totally flabergasted by my name and had called up an ex-girlfriend of hers (who apparently is also transitioning) and explained that she honestly had no idea. I really wasn't too worried about finding a job, but I am totally surprised all the time by the overwhelming acceptance. It's been a pretty cool experience!
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Old 07-12-2010, 11:35 PM   #6
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Hey Everybody!
I haven't been on in a while but I had a some what funny experience. When I started T a year ago I was working on my college campus. I didn't work over the winter, so this summer is the first time since beginning T that I had to look for a job. I got a part time job for the summer with the help of an ex-girlfriend. I haven't had a name change yet (I've just been strapped for cash) and all my documents say female. So right off the bat I told my managers what my deal was, all were okay if not a little curious, however policy for this particular establishment says I have to wear a name tag wit my birth name. Not a big deal, I work in the back and besides I'm not ashamed. So the other day I stop in to fill out a request off form and an employee I never met walks up and introduces herself. I tell her my birth name (figuering that's how people in here know me). Today she happened to be working the same shift as me and she explained that she was totally flabergasted by my name and had called up an ex-girlfriend of hers (who apparently is also transitioning) and explained that she honestly had no idea. I really wasn't too worried about finding a job, but I am totally surprised all the time by the overwhelming acceptance. It's been a pretty cool experience!
I have to present my drivers liscence all the time which still has the original gender marker and my birth name. Nobody every seems to even notice the F marker .. they just think my parents were cruel. I think my birth name is unique enough that they think it's Like some foreign name that can go both ways. I've even had them comment "oh you poor thing" to be given "that" name. Unless it's an over the phone thing .. they still call me sir. On the phone they are extra confused but don't have the visual to go by ... it's funny cause it's like they over emphasize ms. then.
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Old 07-13-2010, 01:21 AM   #7
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Hello Everyone. I've had some experiences since transitioning that I quite frankly while I thought I was prepared I clearly was not prepared for them. I kind of wish I had had an older transman of color (not necessarily in age) to tell me a few things in advance - not that I would have changed my mind but to prepare me, talk through them. I don't mean about trivial things like hair growing in odd places, or receding hairlines. I'm talking heavy things like what it really means to be a man in the world. How you will be perceived and treated; respected and disrespected, etc. after you transition.

Anybody else have experiences after transitioning that kind of made you have to regroup so to speak?
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